Jesus it's been a while. I go through phases where I either write non stop or read non stop and the last few months I've been on a reading jag. That added to birthdays, buying a wedding dress, planning a wedding and work I've had very little time to get anything written. However I'm back, at least for this week and this is the latest instalment I'm going to go out on a limb and actually say that this one is actually happy from start to finish!
As always thanks again for all the support,likes, favs and messages. They mean the world.
The sun was shining, summer finally having taken hold of New York and Jess was making the most of it and a quiet work day by spending some time out in the garden with her son. She'd laid out a rug on the grass and Andrew was happily rolling around and Jess has picked out one of her Gram's journals to help pass the time. She'd gone for one of the earlier ones this time, hoping to find something a little more cheerful than the last and the more she read, the more she hoped that she had stumbled across the story of how her grandmothers really got together.
Where do I start on the last 24 hours? Perhaps by saying that if anyone had told me what was going to happen I would have thought them 100% certifiably insane. But it's safe to say I've been swept off my feet and if this is how good it feels I never want my feet to feel solid ground again…
Andrea pressed her mole skin journal closed around her favourite fountain pen and slid it back into her drawer before turning her eyes back to the other occupant of the bed who was still sleeping peacefully. She still couldn't believe it was Miranda Priestly looking so relaxed, so natural, sleeping beside her. For the first time ever she was pleased that she had been working the event the previous night so hadn't been drinking to keep a clear head, it meant that she remembered in perfect detail everything that had happened, everything that had been said, and it was a memory she would cherish forever.
She'd never expected that she would land in Miranda Priestley's orbit again. Yes, she had known that she would likely see the older woman occasionally at functions she attended for work but she never believed that they would speak again, especially not that Miranda would be the one to do the talking.
"What are you doing all the way up there?" Miranda muttered though she didn't even crack her eyes open, the softness of her face and the sleepiness in her voice only served to make Andrea's smile widen, "And stop grinning like an idiot!"
"How do you do that?" Andrea chuckled, sliding down in the bed, surprised when she found her arms immediately full of editor in chief. It was as surreal as it was wonderful, Miranda Priestly, make up free, wearing a pair of borrowed pyjamas and cuddled so close that they were practically the same person.
"I know you're still grinning,"
"I think it's justified," Andrea chuckled, pressing a kiss to sleep mused hair, "Go back to sleep, it's still early."
"Well if you weren't grinning so loudly over there I wouldn't have woken up in the first place," Miranda cracked her eyes open and offered her a shy smile and Andrea melted even more, "Morning darling."
"Darling ey? I could get used to that." She smoothed the hair out of the older woman's face and smiled, "Morning beautiful."
"No need to over do it Andrea," Miranda scoffed and while her tone said aloof, they way she averted her eyes and the perfect teeth chewing her lip spoke volumes.
"Hey," she soothed, cupping the older woman's cheek, "Miranda look at me." She waited until she had the older woman's eyes and gave her a reassuring smile, "You are beautiful Miranda. Like this, comfortable, sleep creased, without make up you're beautiful. And last night, last night in the gown and the jewels you were beautiful, and every damn day you don the armour of Miranda Priestly Editor in Chief and terrorise half the fashion world, you're beautiful. I'm not saying this because I think it's what you want to hear, I'm saying it because it's what I have believed to be true since the minute I met you."
"Andrea I…"
"Shh," she smiled and leant forwards to press a chaste kiss to the other woman's lips, "You don't have to say anything, you said everything I needed to hear last night and it was perfect; you are perfect."
People would never believe me, much as I wouldn't have believed them, if they knew how Miranda Priestly, the real Miranda Priestly could be. I knew when I worked for Runway that there was more to Miranda that the public persona, she is a mother after all and I saw glimpses of the woman behind the mask. No glimpse however could have prepared me for the depth of the woman. These pages know the depth of my feelings for her, the reasons I left in Paris and the lengths I have gone to to try and forget her, move on from her. If only I have known then what I know now we could have avoided wasting all of this time; I understand too though that Miranda wasn't ready then, not ready to be 100% honest and open at least, but she says she is now and I believe her.
Jess smiled as she tickled Andrew's stomach, her eyes still glued to the page. She had known that it had been Grandma 'Randa who had made the first move. She had always denied the fact and both of her grandmothers had always stayed quiet about the actual details of how they got together (even her mom and her aunt hadn't been clear on what happened back then) but Jess had been able to see it in the way that her Grandma looked at her Grams, all the time, the way her face lost all its hardness, how the mask fell away, for just a moment, no matter where they were and Jess knew that if you were lucky enough to catch that moment it felt like you had witnessed something truly magical. It had filled Jess with joy every time she had seen it and it had remained right up until the very end, the last thing her Grandma had seen before her eyes slipped closed for the final time had been the woman she loved with everything she was, as it should have been, and the rest of them had gotten to see that pure love shared one final time.
Noise from the house pulled her attention away from the page she had been staring at and to the back door where Kat had appeared with Randi practically thrown over her shoulder, huge grins on both of their faces no doubt caused by a mixture of the sun and the bag of ice cream Kat held in her free hand.
"Look kid, mom and sis are back," she said, swapping the diary for her son and bouncing him on her knee.
"Sis, sis sis!" he babbled , kicking his legs and holding out his arms. Jess looked up to catch Kat's eyes over his head and she found her very own version of that look that her grandmothers had shared on her wife's face.
The next time Andrea woke it was slowly, to the feeling of fingers in her hair and cool lips on her forehead.
"M'randa?" she mumbled, fighting the sleep that was trying to reclaim her.
"I need to go darling but you go back to sleep, you've still got time." Andrea forced her eyes open and found Miranda's face in the still semi darkness, she looked tired but she was still beautiful and Andrea found she just didn't want her to leave in fear that it would break the spell between them and she'd lose it all again.
"Where are you going?" shew asked and she didn't have it in her to care that she sounded pathetic, the whole night had felt like a dream and she didn't want to wake up alone and realise it had been.
"I need to go into the office for a few hours," Miranda said quietly, her fingers still moving rhythmically through her hair, "But the girls are away for the rest of the weekend, I thought maybe we could do something this afternoon?" Andrea didn't think she'd ever get used to how shy the older woman was when it came down to asking for something she wanted for herself.
"I'd really like that," Andrea smiled and was pleased to see a small smile appear on Miranda's face, "Why don't you just call me when you are done at Runway and we can make a plan? I have nothing pressing to do today."
"Ok," Miranda leant in and kissed her lightly, "Get some more sleep darling, at least one of us should be well rested." She lay and listened to the older woman picking up her things, lay still when she stopped in the doorway to look back at the bed one last time and then let out a long, slow breath when she heard the door snick close. She lay quietly for a few long moments, unable to wipe the smile from her face. Knowing she wasn't going to get any more sleep she flicked the light on the bedside table and pulled her journal from its hiding place, starting up where she had left off earlier that morning.
I woke this morning with Miranda's fingers in my hair and her lips on my forehead, proof, because I think I needed it, that last night wasn't a dream. She's proven this morning too that everything she said last night was meant, by saying goodbye before she left and by making further plans too.
I know today I will spend my time with a ridiculous smile on my face and I don't think I can be blamed for that. I never imagined that one day that infuriating woman would lay herself bare for me, break down all of her walls and let me really see her, tell me how she really felt. She never gave me the chance to say anything in return other than that I was on the same page, but I know I wont be able to keep it to myself for much longer. I love the woman, flaws and all and I want her to know because while she never said the words I felt it in every word and action from us first meeting last night to her leaving this morning.
I have no doubts that this wont be easy but I'm willing to try knowing that she is in my corner, fighting with me.
"I still don't believe it," Kat said from where her head rested on Jess' shoulder, "I know I never met Miranda but everything I have heard about her is a total contradiction to what this says."
"I know," Jessica sighed, "But I think I can believe it, if you'd seen the way she looked at Grams, the way they were together I think you would too. They were definitely meant for eachother."
"Mom's?" Jess looked up from the book in her lap to find Randi in the office doorway, her stuffed bunny tucked under her arm,
"Hey munchkin," she held out her hand for their little girls who scrambled up onto the sofa and nestled between her parents, "What are you doing out of bed?"
"Couldn't sleep," Randi shrugged, "What you doing?"
"Just reading sweetpea," Kat supplied, stroking her daughters hair and simultaneously pressing a kiss to Jess' shoulder, "About your great grandmothers."
"Story, story, story." Randi bounced where she was sat and Jess chuckled,
"Why don't we all go and get comfy in our bed and I'll read you one?"
Once they were all settled and Jess had Kat and Randi cuddled up against her she pressed a kiss to each of their heads before she began her story, her way of making sure that her children grew up knowing all about the amazing women she had loved all of her life.
"Once upon a time, there was a queen who ruled over an enormous kingdom full of people who wore beautiful clothes. Because she was the queen she got all of the most beautiful clothes and everyone wanted to make something that she would wear…"