The Girl
The first thing that drew me to her was her love of books. Her room was a shrine to reading and I fell instantly. I skimmed my fingers over the books, hoping I'd found my library in this town. I stole her books. I loved how she huffed when she found out. How her nose crinkled up in dissatisfaction when she found I defaced them. She got books. She got me.
As time progressed, I found she was taken. She had a boyfriend and not a good one. He was tall. Infuriating. Simple. He wasn't me. I sat by and watched them together. Touches. Kisses. He got to hold her when I didn't. It was irrational, but it didn't feel fair to me. An injustice. I started fighting for her and annoying him in the process. Not my finest moment. Not a regret.
It started small. Shared looks across the room. Simple smiles that hid so much. A sleigh ride. I tried to become her knight in shining armor, even though I had no reference. I brought her food. I attempted to return her lost bracelet. I helped her when she was soaking wet and in a panic. I did all I could. I tried harder than I ever had. It wasn't enough. It never was. She always went back to him, but that didn't stop me.
We were becoming good friends. I ruined it. It was a good night. I wasn't focusing. I asked her to get ice cream. In cones. She agreed with only a little persuasion. We drove. We talked. She believed in me. She wanted me to do more. Be more. I brushed her off. She didn't know me. She didn't know my story. She couldn't understand. We were almost back. We turned right. I hurt her. My uncle consoled me. It wasn't enough. I ran to the city.
She came to me. Nothing was said. We just enjoyed ourselves. I showed her the good parts of the city. The park with the arch that served no purpose. The best hotdogs. The subway I loved to ride. I took her to my favorite record store. I showed her all the good. Never the bad. It was the perfect day. When she left, she wanted me to say goodbye. I didn't want to. My mind refused. I couldn't deny her. I said goodbye and she went home.
The city lost all the good when she left. It felt as though she took a piece of me with her. It didn't take long. I followed her. I met her at the back of an inn. She was dressed up. She looked beautiful. She was shocked to see me. I didn't care. Seeing her made me so happy. Made me feel complete. She was just as I remembered. Perhaps even better. She kissed me. I kissed her back. She pulled away. I didn't want her to. She welcomed me home. She ran. She ran to Washington. She left me alone.