Disclaimer: Ff any of you has forgotten, I do not own any of the character or the story. Everything god is the property of Dawn Cook. (Do I need to write this every chapter?)

A/N: hope you people that read this like it, feel free to comment if I need to clarify something or you have other thoughts. Thank you!

Chapter 4

Over a quiet meal in the small dining room I start to think back on what I have been training on the last year with my new master. There have been a lot of different defences, like our lessons with the swords and other weapons. But we have also had a lot of lessons on tactics, practical psychology and issues regarding our magic. Such as contact with animal, changing memories and emotions, staying unnoticed and what we can do with our hands. Some of these things go so easy for me I have to stay focussed so I don't do it unconsciously in my everyday life. It feels frightening sometimes to think of what I have become!

A lot of the practise is also about control, as I have to make sure I don't dose myself up by accident. The puntas poison feels so natural to me by now, I hardly noticing it in my blood. My level is not dropping, but stays at what Jeck have concluded is a relatively safe level. The wind is free from me, but can be accessed as easily as I slip into an animal around me. In secret I have also tried to experiment on slipping into humans' heads. Jeck probably has a guess of what I am doing but let it be. I don't want to admit to anyone how easy this goes for me. I am always careful not to pry or disturb the ones I visit. It's especially easy when they are asleep, and dreams are wondrous things to watch.

I have also put extra time to learn my shores as an ambassador, traveling around in our country and meeting important people. People that have had a hard time figure out how to act around me in my new position.

I think my personal ambassador project is especially fascinating and fun. I collected the city's different guild masters and declared that I wanted to start a collaboration with them to tighten the bond between the guilds and the palace. So there was to be an ambassador visiting them, so they could explain about their areas of expertise. Here they had immediately stared shouting about how they did not want some low palace guard coming and spy on them!

And when I had answered that I felt sad that they did not want me with them, they was startled for a moment. But soon started shouting that it was a far to simple job for me, and that the royals humiliated me by ordering something like this. I managed to calm the crowd down and explained that this was totally my own idea and that I was honestly interested in their different works. They had agreed.

Soon I had a planned a meeting with one guild each week. They got used to the idea and often seemed real honored by my visit. I on the other hand broadened my understanding of how the city works, and learned a lot of handy things at the same time. My hidden agenda was that I in the future would not need to count on Jeck with the different things from meals to carpentry.

I decided to make time to see some of the most useful guilds again in the near future. And in my mind I picked out some topics in tactics and magic that I wanted to work on more with Jeck. I came up with the idea I would suggest to him that we'd start a new competition against each other. Those competitions were often thing like; trying to get close unnoticed; finish a pre-set mission, or getting away from different obstacles. We competed most of our time anyway, but with the rules and timeframes it became more secure and put a little extra pressure on us. I enjoy those innocent games.

As I finish my meal I feel good that I have managed to decide on a course for the near future, the goal is to keep me occupied, to hinder myself from thinking to much on Kavenlow or Jeck. I get to my room to change into my training outfit and then start to walk unnoticed to our court. Because we both are so stubborn it can get dirty when we practice, and we don't want the wrong kind of people seeing what we can, and how we defend ourselves.

I draw on a little of my magic and concentrates on how unimportant I am so that the people I walk past that sees me just don't put me into their memory. There is many ways to get to the same result, and I try to switch between different methods to keep my mind open.

When I get to the big room in a far away corner of the castle I see that Jeck is already there, warming up. His body flexing easily as he bend inn different directions. Chu pitt! How am I supposed to fight with him, when I can't even stop thinking of him…

"I have sent some of the dogs to keep watch, they will let us know if someone is coming." He tells me as he finishes his exercise.

"Yes that is good" I answer, walking toward the training swords he has put on the middle of the floor. I start to warm up close to them with my back to him, trying to put away all thoughts, to get a blank mind like I know he does when he's fighting. I hear how he takes up his sword and start to swing it in secure moves while waiting for me to get ready. I gulp one time, and try to think positive as I listen to the whistle of sliced air he creates with the dull blade.

I have gotten better! I can sometime hold him of for as long as ten minutes, I will be fine!

But in reality I can't fool myself with the pep talk in my head. As I take up my sword I ready myself for a really humiliating hour.

We have just put away the swords, my legs and arms are trembling. I try and catch my breath while whipping the sweat from my face. It was too long since our last practice, I got tired early, and the last half of the pass he could easily disarm me as many times he wanted. I have 8 loses, and now I fear what he will make me do.

"That was fun" he says with a big grin on his face. I just grump something unrecognisable and concentrate on taking deep breaths.

"So if my counting was not totally of, I have 8 punishments to give to you" he says, still smiling. The demon just likes to torture me!

"Do you want to hear them all in one go, or one at a time?"

"Whatever you feel like" I answer, just eager to get it over with. Earlier punishments have included everything from cleaning the latrine, to a days worth of weapon exercises.

But it has happened that I have won too. That I can count those times on my fingers and it mostly was pure luck or a big mistake from Jecks side that made those possible, is dampening the feeling of success pretty much.

"Then I think I will give them to you one at a time to savour the sweet taste of success a bit" he says, snickering.

"Do as you wish" I repeat tiredly.

He gets close to me and I back of a step. He slowly follows me. A trickle of fear together with a knot of excitement and anticipation start building inside me. I take another uncertain step back.

"Jeck?" The question is hanging unanswered in the air as he takes a second wickedly slow step closer, looking me deep in the eyes. I believe I can read a longing but also uncertainness there, hiding under a thin mask of indifference.

Finally he stops, looking at me, and does a little bow before me.

"Then the first punishment will be for you, this evening, to accompany me to a lovely restaurant I have seen not far from the palace." I stare at him in surprise, trying to come up with an appropriate answer. Breathing hard again.

He answers in my stead by saying:

"Yes I will be there and ready in good time for supper, is the answer you are searching for I believe" Then fast and soft as an autumn leaf he strokes the back of his hand against my cheek and leaves the room in a brisk walk whistling.

I slumps down to the floor, drained both physically and emotionally. I am just looking at the place he was last seen. To the empty room I say:

"This will not work for much longer, I will break! And what will happen after that?… I close my mouth and eyes, resting in myself for a moment, as I do not know any answer to my question.