Ch 4: Ruminations
AN: Ugh. I hate this chapter. I'm not good at brooding. That's why I like writing Wally. Anytime something is starting to get serious – Boom! I can count on him to make a joke and derail the whole thing. Anyways, I've had this written for weeks, and wanted to get this to you sooner, to thank you guys for being so awesome and helping me with my paper (although I would still appreciate other people answering some questions!). I've just been hosed all week with tests, and I just… never got happy with this. Please, please, please tell me what you think is wrong with this. In excruciating detail, if you must. I really think I should re-write this…
XxXxX
While outwardly as stoic as always, on the inside, J'onn's emotions churned. Luckily, the Martian was more than capable of multitasking. It was not difficult to introspect while simultaneously making up for his absence form the bridge these past few hours. Not that there was much to do. Mr. Terrific seemed to have done an excellent job keeping things running while he took care of things with Flash and Tigress. Even so, it didn't hurt to recheck everything. His family and his new home depended on him to keep things running smoothly for the league; he couldn't slack off out of concern for just one person.
Though to be fair, that one person's well-being certainly affected the well-being of many others.
He may still not understand humans particularly well, but he understood relationships. He knew that Wally had become something like a metaphorical sun that many leaguers revolved around. Their light when the darkness in their world began to grow too strong. On Mars, the happiness of a mind like Wally's would be addicting – he would protected by all who came into contact with him. It didn't surprise J'onn that the League felt the same about their speedster. Anyone who had felt such genuine joy and kindness would want to keep it close.
And in that respect… J'onn believed The Question's doomsday predictions. Logic wouldn't let him blow them off. Especially when he thought of the other five founding members. Of his family.
John's feelings for Flash were obvious. The speedster was his best friend. He may complain about the 'Hotshot's' impulsiveness, but J'onn knew better. Could feel the truth whenever the two men interacted. In the beginning, Wally was the only person in the League John felt he could relax with. They were the only humans on the team (because even J'onn knew that Batman didn't count, not really). They could both appreciate sports, food, girls… Wally got John into video games and action movies; John tried to get some discipline into the speedster. Wally was always willing to listen to John talk about his travels in space, his work for both Corps, how he managed to screw up his relationships this time. John might think he was too controlled to go after Wally's killers, but J'onn knew there was a streak of hot-blooded soldier under the surface. He wouldn't let his comrade's –his friend's – killer escape unscathed.
Shayera was like John in that respect. She wouldn't ever say it out loud – she could barely admit it to herself, though J'onn could feel it from her without even trying to examine her mind – but she loved it when Flash called her his big sister. It felt… right. The young man certainly acted like the 'annoying little brothers' J'onn saw on TV sometimes. His inherent compassion also touched her soul-heart deeply. He was the first to accept her back after her people's Invasion. No, J'onn mentally amended. He never turned against her in the first place. How could she not care for him when he had such a trust in her? The fact that he worked so hard to help her fit back in after she decided to come back didn't hurt either. Admit it or not, Wally was her baby brother and she would not let anyone hurt him without facing retribution. It was not in her people's nature to let such slights pass. And honestly, Earth Justice wouldn't be enough for her. He knew she would kill to avenge him. Shayera had once explained that 'Flash' was the Thanagarian word for kill. Without Wally around to remind her of the good associated with the word, J'onn feared it would be all too easyto slip back into the solider she had been. And if the Invasion had taught him anything, it's that Thanagarians don't show mercy in war.
Diana would actually admit that she was fond of Wally. Diana was all about truth, honor and compassion, and Wally had those things in spades. Plus, while his flirtations often annoyed the Amazon, he never pushed her buttons many of the other heroes did. He actually did the opposite. While J'onn didn't always understand the problem, he did know that more often than not, John or Clark or (usually) Bruce did something that left the Princess stomping around cursing 'men and their stubborn pig-headedness.' Then Wally will zip up to her with a corny joke, or a too-honest-to-be-flirting compliment or a question because he doesn't understand something. Suddenly, Diana's laughing, or preening, or helping Flash because his problems are so much simpler than the emotional wrecks that are their fellow heroes. She once confided in him that these moments remind her that Man's World isn't so bad… that it's something worth defending. Wally's reminds Diana of the reasons she still fights, and the proud Amazon wouldn't let someone hurt that without retaliation.
Superman might be the loveably naïve Boy Scout most of the time, but he has an angry self-righteous streak just below the surface. When he sees injustice, and knows it's in his power to stop it, it's hard to convince him not to, even if his methods would be… questionable. Yet Wally always knows how to diffuse him. It's like he's used to dealing with stubborn, quick-to anger Kryptonians. J'onn once spent Christmas with Clark and his parents. He understood how the Man of Steel could associate Wally's Midwestern charm with all the good things that come with family. Superman would probably not kill just to avenge the Flash… but he probably wouldn't stop anyone else from doing the same. And it would only take one of the Kryptonian's outbursts without Wally to anchor him for Clark to make a terrible mistake, for him to start down the path to becoming Lord Superman.
And Batman… well. Ostensibly, Batman's only 'friend' was Superman, and even then, no one doubted the Dark Knight could and would drop the Man of Steel 8 different ways from Sunday should he decide the Kryptonian posed a threat. But the Flash was probably the only person the Batman actually trusted. Sure, he could go on about the tactical advantages of Wally's powers, improvisation, and unpredictability. What he really meant though, was, Flash has my back. Besides, he had noticed that Batman's glares were never really as harsh as they could be whenever Wally cracks his corny jokes. Wally pushes all of the Dark Knight's buttons in the best way, and the man will forever owe the speedster for bringing his little lightness into their darkest hero's life. It's no surprise that Lord Batman reacted the way he did. J'onn knew that their Batman would be the same, left unstable and vengeful for the loss of his light.
As for J'onn himself…
The Flash just understood the Martian better than the rest of them. He was the one that introduce the extra-terrestrial to the joys of Oreos. He was the one who tried to learn about Martian culture, and helped J'onn recreate Martian dishes and holidays here on earth. Wally was the only person he knew of who wasn't bothered by his telepathy. He had even suggested using it as a sort of mental comm link to improve secrecy and communications back when it was just the seven of them. The others had vehemently shot that idea down – they all had their own share of secrets to keep – but he was still touched by the suggestion.
It was hard, painful, being stuck inside his own head after a lifetime of only mental communication. But whenever it got too bad, Flash always seemed to be there, offering to let a him bounce around in the back of the younger hero's mind. The speedster had an unusually large mindscape for a human, and his thoughts were fast enough to feel like a network of minds rather than just the one. It was soothing and familiar, and gave him direct access to Wally's earnest happiness. The high from those times could keep him going for weeks. Like the others, he had to admit that he cared deeply for Wally as a person, as family. Should someone hurt him… well. Minds are such fragile things really. He would enjoy taking apart anyone who took apart the Flash, before stepping aside and letting the rest his family finish them off.
An incoming call interrupted his macabre thoughts. It was Diana.
"I just received your hails. Tell me it's good news."
"Flash has returned, and should recover fully."
"Thank Hera! I was so worried…"
" I know. He brought someone with him. A vilainess of the League of Shadows."
"Was she the one that hurt him? Athena help her when I get up there…"
"No. We believe she was the one that rescued him. We'd like to confirm the veracity of that statement."
"Let me finish some things here. I can be back by tomorrow. With my lasso."
"Actually, we're calling an emergency meeting for the Council. People have been keeping dangerous secrets."
"What has Bruce done this time?"
"Apparently he sent this woman undercover as a villain and didn't think to mention it to us."
"Gods damn him."
"Although Wally has some explaining to do as well." And wasn't that a painful thought. How – why – would Wally of all people keep things from them?
Diana, too, looks surprised and hurt at that news. Finally, she sighs. "I'll tie things up quickly here. I'll be there in a couple of hours."
"I will see you then." She cuts the link and he holds in a sigh of his own. It had been too long since they had all been together. He wished it were under more pleasant circumstances.
Still, now that things were settled, he could afford to take a moment for himself. He closed his eyes, and allowed himself to fall into his familiar meditations. This focus allowed him to extend his empathic range. For a few minutes, he would allow himself to indulge his feelings and skim the edges of the love and happiness emanating from the Med Bay.
XxXxX
The room is dark, except for the glow of the computer screen, silent, except for the clicking of a keyboard, and calm, except for the man's churning thoughts. But can there really be darkness if there is light? Sound of there is silence? How then, can the man claim to be calm in the face of this newest revelation?
He analyzes the stolen data almost automatically. Abilities, weaknesses, bases, plans… it's all here. It is nothing to sort, to catalogue, to match up the teams that can most effectively eliminate their enemies, to predict which villains will run because of Tigress's defection, and where they will run too. No, the Legion and its member will be easily taken down now. That is not the issue at hand here.
Because their Wally is also their Wally.
This is not what he anticipated when the other-worlders approached him eight months ago. Batman hates the unanticipated.
Let us protect Wally.
Let us infiltrate your villains.
Let us give you the tech you need.
If the offer had come from anyone other than, well, himself, it would have been contemplated only long enough to find the motive and destroy whoever was behind such false promises. Instead, he decided to believe the other Bat and his colleagues. As it were, it took months of faithful reports (not to mention stringent trans-dimensional cross-referencing) for him to actually believe in the interlopers.
And he did not agree to this because of the young man who came with the other Batman, the one with the easy smile and the brilliant plan and the aura of understanding his darkness and pain. The one that the other Batman smiled at. (The one that could have been his son.)
When Flash disappeared three weeks ago, the Dark Knight did not panic. Artemis would be able to find out who had him. When Artemis went twelve days without reporting back, he was concerned. When the Tigress and Flash's tracers both suddenly came online, even as the Watchtower locked down and began hailing him with emergency signals, he was simply annoyed. Flash's vitals were stabilizing before his eyes, and no secondary alerts were triggered. He could turn his attention to other matters for a few hours before dealing with the League.
When he finally arrived at the Watchtower, he was unsurprised by Superman's debrief of recent events, although the details were… interesting. He would be the one to later figure out that the Legion's base acted as a giant Faraday's Cage, interrupting and incoming or outgoing signals that weren't manually rerouted. When Artemis blew a chunk out of the wall electromagnetic waves were able to penetrate the fortress, and Wally was able to use the comm in his cowl to call for help.
When he went into the interrogation cell, he was intending to berate the woman for throwing away their plans. He was instead caught off guard by Tigress's revelation.
So now here he is, organizing an assault against many of their most prominent villains, and bracing for a discussion with his colleagues. It would not be hard to stonewall them, as always. And he honestly doesn't have all the answers, for once. Despite outward appearances, he does understand people. This is something they need to hear from Wally.
They'll be upset, because the Other Wally he's been told about is nothing like their Wally, but he should be. Do they even know him at all? Personally, Bruce is glad that Wally never said anything. Because they would have felt obligated to help him find his way home, and eventually they would have succeeded. And then they might have lost him all the sooner.
Batman is under no illusions. Wally will not be staying in this dimension. Artemis has dealt a critical blow to the Legion – the League will likely have a surplus of 'firepower' once they're taken care of, so Flash won't be obligated to stick around. There will be nothing to tie the lovable speedster here, nothing strong enough to withstand the pull of home. Where Wally has people who actually know him. Where he has speedster mentors and mentees that understand what life's like at the speed of light. Where he has life-long friends and a Team that looks up to him. Where he has aunts and uncles, cousins and nieces care for him. Where he has a girlfriend who loves him. Where he has parents. Where he has a real family.
Batman closes out his plans of attack, and rechecks the encryption on this computer. He needs to plan for Wally's departure. He'll need to re-examine his contingency plans for the other Leaguers, analyze the best arguments to win them over if the league divides over this... He doesn't think they'll go Lord because of this. They'll know that Wally is safe and happy; there won't be anyone to take vengeance on. Even so…
They might try to stop Wally from leaving. He doesn't think they're that selfish, but he's not wasted the other League's equipment. He's been watching other universes, trying to distill what information he could that was applicable in this dimension. And he's seen the things they could be. And possessive is one of those things.
But Wally deserved happiness. It wouldn't be fair if Bruce kept him from his real family.
He pauses in in preparations.
He activates a special communicator in his belt, and sends a quick message to the other Batman, while he was feeling generous. Because Batman didn't always do fair.
He would need a contingency for himself.
XxXxX
She was ticked.
As if the past few weeks, the past few hours hadn't been bad enough, she now had to deal with the crap John just shared about Batman's newest conspiracy. She was so tired of that word. After months of the conspiracy with Cadmus, weeks of Question harping that the Flash's disappearance was part of 'The Grand Conspiracy'… she could have gone her whole life without dealing with another one. Damn better have a very good reason to keep a conspiracy of his own from them.
Her anger had kept her away from medical for a couple of hours. She knew Wally would cheer her up, and right now, she just wanted to be angry. Diana was back though, and they were trying to get everything together to discuss their latest round of secrets and lies. A part of her felt guilty. Really, who was she to judge someone for betraying the trust of their loved ones? Then she remembered what Batman's secrets had done to her baby brother, and she became angry all over again.
In any case, she had to face him now. The medics needed to clear him to attend the meeting, and she had volunteered to babysit his ninja girlfriend.
She was surprised to see a crowd of people loitering outside Wally's hospital room. No, not just loitering. They were definitely staring through the observation windows, peeping on the room's occupants. Annoyed by the crowd's intrusive fascination, she elbowed her way to the window. "What is going on- oh."
And she really couldn't blame them for staring. This was too cute. The woman had, at some point, crawled up on his bed and buried her face into his chest. Her arms were wrapped around his neck; his around her waist, twining in her hair. She was on his uninjured side, somewhat facing the door, so it was clear that they were asleep. She had thought she knew what happiness looked like on the Flash. He was always happy. But his smiles had never looked like this.
She hated to interrupt them, but there were things to be done. She slips inside the room. The reaction is instantaneous.
Whether the woman hadn't actually been asleep, or if she just has strong reactive instincts, Shayera doesn't know, but the moment the door slides open, the woman half-rolls, half-vaults over Wally and the bed, landing in a defensive crouch between the speedster and the door. At some point she had acquired a scalpel, (and Hawkgirl would have to talk to the medical staff about leaving such dangerous things around where anyone could take them) which she now brandished at the room's intruder.
"Relax. Don't do something you're going to regret." Shayera runs a finger down her mace, but doesn't make any further moves towards Tigress.
To the woman's credit, she seems to realize what she's doing, eyes widening a fraction before relaxing her position. She carefully sets the scalpel down on the table and takes a step back from it. "I- sorry. Habit."
"We're gonna have to work on that particular habit, Beautiful. Not a fun way to wake up." Wally groans from the bed.
"I'm sorry." She rubs his good arm in apology. "Instincts like that are what keep you alive when you're neck-deep in an organization of villains."
"Right. I'm sorry." He looks dolefully into her eyes, and takes her hand in his.
"Not your fault." She whispers back. They hold each other's gazes for a moment, before turning back to Hawkgirl. Their fingers are still twined together.
"I'm sorry to… wake you. The doctors need everyone out so they can determine if you're free to go." Wally pumps his fist and cheers. She turns her attention to Tigress. "I thought you might want to shower and change. You'll both be debriefing after Wally gets cleared. It's probably not a good idea to go to the council, you know..." Wearing a villain's suit and covered in Wally's blood.
"I…" She hesitates, but Wally recovers for her.
"Babe, it's okay. I'll still be here when you get back. And if they're going to make you leave me anyways, I want you to at least make yourself more comfortable." She squeezes his hand and nods.
"I'll be quick. Don't leave again." Don't leave me again.
"Never." With quick kiss, she follows Hawkgirl out of the room. Shayera pretends she doesn't see her glance wistfully back into the room as she steps over the threshold.
They make the trip to the nearest locker room in silence. Shayera shows her where the soap and towels are, and offers her a change of clothes. "I only have some of my spare civvies to offer you, but if that makes you feel uncomfortable, I can probably get your suit cleaned up pretty fast."
"No. Thank you. A pair of jeans and a shirt sounds perfect right now. In fact… you can probably throw that costume away."
"Distancing yourself from the villain?" Shayera could understand that. Her stay at Fate's tower and the introspection she did there helped her mentally sort out her loyalties, but she still couldn't bear to wear her Thanagarian helmet again. Costumes can hold too many regrets.
"Well, no. Tigress did hero work too. It's just… Tigress isn't needed anymore. She's just a placeholder. A cover. Artemis is Wally's partner."
"I see." She didn't. But she didn't know what else to say. Tigress – Artemis – seems to take that as a good moment to duck out of the conversation and into one of the shower stalls. Shayera waits on one of the benches, and tries not to let her mind wander to those darks days during and after the Invasion. Instead, she questions the other (heroine?) woman. "You two obviously go way back. How long have you known Wally then?"
"Oh, since we were fifteen." Her voice sounds different, but that might be the echoes of the shower. "You think he's a goofball now? You should have seen him back then. First time I see him? I'm just getting introduced to the team, and he comes running in decked out in swim trunks and carrying an armful of party gear."
"He tripped didn't he?"
"Bingo. He and the beach ball go flying. Comedic gold. Of course, he didn't really appreciate me laughing at him before I even knew him…We hated each other back then."
That was surprising. "I didn't know it was possible for anyone to hate Wally. Or vice versa."
"Trust me, I feel the same way now. He's too sweet for that, right?"
"What changed?"
"We grew up and got over it. I… my family were all villains. No one should have trusted me. But Wally – in the awkwardest, most adorable way possible, mind you – walks up to me one day and declares that I'm 'a real part of the team and that he trusts me completely.'"
She's leaving the league, but he stops her with a hug and a whisper. 'I'll miss you, Sis.'
"Yeah. He's still doing that."
"Oh?"
"You know about the Invasion?"
"Which- oh. By Thanagar?"
"Yeah. Even after… everything. After I betrayed everyone and quit the League, he still called me family."
"He's good about that."
The water shuts off as she contemplates this woman who was similarly touched by the Scarlet Speedster. She wonders why they needed to be similarly consoled. She's just working up the courage to pry when Artemis finally steps out.
"What the Hell!" She finds herself brandishing her mace for the third time in as many hours.
The woman who just stepped out in her clothes is not the vill- heroine she had known these past few hours. Blonde tresses frame a soft face. Open, gray eyes convey a deeper surprise than sharp black ones ever could. Gentler curves have replaced the harsh lines of a warrior, although stance and muscle definition betray the fighter that's still there.
"Shayera! It's me. Here-" Shayera tenses, but she just pulls out her amber necklace and clasps it around her neck. Instantly, Tigress is back.
"Neat trick."
"Convenient for protecting your ID from the villains you're snitching on, at least." She removes the necklace and becomes Artemis again. "Er, is the meeting soon, or…?"
"Right. Follow me then, Blondie."
"I knew I should kept the necklace on! I'm never going to live my hair color down, am I?"
"Not a chance, Girlie."
They leave the locker room laughing.
2nd AN:
On Batman:
Nightwing once admitted that he wouldn't trade his life to get his parents back whereas Bruce… Bruce would. And to me, that's a very defining character trait. Batman never got over his parent's deaths, and his terrified of his loved ones leaving him. He also doesn't seem to get 'surrogate families' very easily – to me, it was very clear that in the JL universe that he wasn't emotionally invested in the League, and didn't understand the other's favorable emotions towards him. So don't take Batman's thoughts that seriously. I promise things end happy for everyone we care about.
On Updates:
I hope I'll be abe to update this every week (probably on friday mornings) until mid-may. Then I'm going to have to take a break for finals and because I'm leaving for a symposium in Japan. When I get back, though, I'll be on summer break, and should be able to update more often. This story WILL be finished (I'm too excited about the epilogue for it not to be), but I think it's going to be a while before we get there. So thanks for all of your awesome reviews; they soothe my insecurities and convince me to keep writing.