Sherlock watched Jo carefully as the evening progressed. She seemed on edge, which was odd considering that he was pretty sure that she was supposed to be happy about finally getting home. And it just got worse as time went on; he eventually found himself talking just to fill the silence, even stooping so low as to comment on the weather. After they finished eating, Jo insisted on doing the dishes herself, saying that menial housework made her feel like she was finally home. When that was done, she went and sat in her chair, looking tense and pensive.
After a few minutes of silence, she took a deep breath and turned to her friend. "I suppose that I owe you an explanation now."
"You don't have to," he said, hating the fact that he felt nervous. "I mean you're obviously tired; we can talk about it tomorrow. There's no rush."
She shook her head, looking even more determined. "No, I have to do this now. If I'm going to destroy everything we have here, then I'd rather to it sooner than later."
"Jo, I don't know why you're so worried," he said in an obvious attempt to comfort her. "There's no way you could tell me anything that would change things. Barrs is obviously a bigot with far too much power; I don't know what he has against you, but he was obviously leading a witch hunt…"
"He's right," she interrupted, purposefully averting her eyes. "Barrs is right about me; he always has been."
His eyebrows shot up, fear and confusion settling like a heavy ball in his stomach. "What are you saying? I don't understand. I know you didn't blow up that building."
"Just because I didn't blow up that building, doesn't mean that I've never blown up any building," she answered, closing her eyes so that she would have to see his reaction even peripherally. "I was an active member of the LEF for over three years and Barrs was the agent assigned to my case. He arrested me a little over eight years ago, and I took a plea deal, opting for five years of mandatory service in the RAMC instead of going to trial and risking a prison sentence. Barrs was angry that I had even been offered the deal, and I guess he wanted to let me know that he hadn't forgotten about me."
Sherlock let out a choked sound but didn't say anything; his companion fell silent, wanting to give him the chance to get his thoughts together in peace.
"Jo, the LEF is a terrorist organization," he said quietly after a few moments. He cleared his throat. "Why would you be a part of that?"
She sighed. "It's a really long story."
"I think I'm going to need to hear it anyway," he answered, hating how he felt like his whole world was falling apart. "For Christ's sake Jo! You're a terrorist! I don't think I'm overstepping my bounds to ask for an explanation."
Jo took a deep breath and let it all out, puffing out her cheeks. "No, of course you're not. I'll tell you anything you want to know. I just don't know where to start. I don't know what you want to know."
"How could you be a terrorist? That's what I want to know," he said, sounding bitter. "You're supposed the be the one with an actual moral compass. Last I checked, terrorism isn't morally justified. How could you do that?"
She sighed again, not really knowing what to say. "I was angry and I didn't think that there was anything else I could do."
"Lots of people get angry Jo! They don't blow up buildings!" He took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. "There has to be more to it than that, so you should probably just start at the beginning."
She nodded and swallowed heavily. "I joined the LEO when I was fifteen and became really active in the local organization. Within six months my parents had kicked me out. I ended up leaving for Uni early and by the time I was in med-school I had become really interested in the medical aspects of Lycanthropy, which was what I ended up specializing in. After I finished, I went to work for Regicore doing genetic research. I was assigned to a project that was looking for a way to "cure" foetal Lycanthropy." She paused for breath and Sherlock felt his stomach turned, sickened at the thought of what Jo was talking about. "I ended up getting pretty lucky and made a breakthrough within three months of starting work. There is pretty much no oversight when it comes to protecting lycans in situations like that, and we started chemical trials within six months. Unfortunately, there was a problem with the compound that I had developed and all 75 test subjects died.
"The project was shut down, but there were no other repercussions. What we did wasn't technically illegal, and even if it was, no one would have really cared all that much. I didn't really know what to do. No one else at Regicore even seemed to be bothered by what happened, and I couldn't talk to anyone else about it because of the non-disclosure agreement I signed when I was hired. And so I quit. The non-disclosure agreement was still legally binding, and I had no idea how to go about looking for a job after what had happened, but I just couldn't stay there after that.
"Fortunately, a guy I had worked with in Uni was working with Harte — The hospital and medical research facility run by the LEO — heard that I was no longer working for Regicore, and offered me a job. They were looking for a doctor with research experience, and I was one of the few people who was qualified for the position they were looking to fill. I needed the work, and I thought that maybe I'd be able to do some good in order to make up for what I had done. So I took the job and became really active in the LEO. Fairly early on, I was approached by a few members of the LEF. I was frustrated by how long it took to get anything done through official channels, and I was discouraged by how moderate the changes we were able to bring about actually were. Which is why I ended up joining the LEF as well; I thought that what the LEF was doing would get people to actually listen for once. I was really active in both organizations for a little over three years.
"I ended up becoming a project manager with the LEF — which meant that I was in charge of planning and executing LEF attacks. I had planned on working with the LEF until I either died or was arrested. Te last project I worked on was targeting an office building for a large drug company that continued selling drugs that had been proven to be dangerous. Things went wrong, though.
"We had planned the attack according to what was, apparently, outdated information, and instead of the building being empty, a cleaning crew was working on the night we had placed the bomb. We had already set the bomb and were in the process of leaving the area when we realized our mistake. It was my project, so I was the one who sneaked back inside to disarm the bomb.I had just finished doing so when a few of the cleaning women came in and caught me. I was, obviously, arrested.
"Fortunately, I have a very good lawyer, and the only thing that the NOA was able to actually prove was that I had disarmed the bomb. If it had gone to trial, I probably would have been acquitted, but that wouldn't have been satisfactory for anyone. Even if I was acquitted, the trial would have brought a lot of bad publicity to the LEO and would have undermined the public work that I had done, and the NOA wanted me out of the way. So the government, I'm not actually sure which specific group, interfered and offered me a deal, which I accepted. Which is why I spent five years doing medical research for the military. After my five year sentence was up, I was given the opportunity to work at one of the all Lycan bases I had helped develop. So I spent a little over two years in Afghanistan before I was shot and came home. I had been back for less than six months when I met you, and now here we are." She stopped talking and sighed, leaning back in her chair and attempting to look far less tense than she really was.
Sherlock took a deep breath, feeling lost and a bit sick to his stomach. "What do you expect me to do with all of this?"
"I don't know," she answered with a shrug. "You can do anything you want, and I'll go along with it. If you want me to move out, then I can leave now. And if you want to turn me in, then I'll make a full confession. I understand if this is something that you can't get past, and I don't expect you to make any decisions tonight, or even anytime soon."
There was a long moment of silence and then he stood up. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." He quickly left the room before Jo had the chance to say anything, shutting his bedroom door firmly behind him.
Jo sighed again and rubbed at her face, trying to hold back tears of frustration and exhaustion. She was working on getting up and going to bed when Sherlock came back. She blinked up at him, not really knowing what to say.
He cleared his throat, very obviously feeling awkward. "For the record, I'm glad that you're not in prison. And if I have anything to do with it, it will stay that way." He left again without giving her the chance to answer him. She sighed again before finally heading up to her room, promising herself that she would sleep for as long as physically possible and deal with everything that had happened after she was rested and, hopefully better prepared.