A/N: Sorry it's been so long! I had planned to have another chapter up much sooner, but I spent a week visiting family, attended a wedding and a birth, so things were quite busy on my end. Not to mention, my muse completely abandoned me, only to return all of the sudden and leaving me with something I am half proud of and half skeptical of. All the same, I've never been one to obsess over every detail, so here's to hoping it's not half bad!
Chapter Fourteen;
Clarity
"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Victoire had nearly been dressed before she realized that Cora's cot was empty. For a moment she stared confused at the blankets strewn to the side, her shoes still set carefully on one side of the floor, as if not processing the fact that Cora had actually woken up first. Every day since Victoire had decided to stay in the manor as Cora recovered, the woman had slept as long as was allowed her, often protesting when she had to get up. Victoire didn't even bother to tame her tangled hair before she left the room, her curiosity burning as she descended the stairs.
Achilles sat in his chair reading a book, not bothering to look up at Victoire as she entered the room. When she opened her mouth to ask where Cora was, though, he closed the book and pulled himself up with his cane.
"If you are looking for them, I am sure you need only listen a few moments." Victoire wrinkled her face in confusion, but then she heard the noises coming from outside.
"Is that... laughter?" Victoire said, furrowing her brow as she tilted her head, listening. Achilles nodded, a rather annoyed look on his face.
"Not to mention the barking," he said, shaking his head and murmuring something about the wasting of time. Victoire smiled at the old man's attitude, letting out a soft laugh as he rounded the corner. As soon as he was out of sight, she made for the door, quite interested in what what so completely hilarious out there. Once outside, the noises only intensified. A short scream filled the air as she rounded the corner of the house, followed by a fit of laughter and a burst of barking. When she finally saw what was going on, it was all she could do not to gape.
Cora, barefoot and hair sticking out from her unruly braid, was near drenched, holding a bucket of water as she tried to catch Connor, who was dodging all her attempts to get him in arms reach, no doubt hoping to unleash the contents of her bucket over his head. She threatened and chastised him as she ran after him, the water sloshing from the bucket as she jerked about. It was so childish, so carefree, so... Strange. Only a day ago they had been at each others throats, yet now it was as if they held no cares whatsoever. Victoire stood reluctantly in her place, for though she wanted nothing more than to go and tease them about their playful state, she knew she should let them be. Besides, she was more than curious to see how this would all end.
She was sure Cora had gotten him, but then all of the sudden he had leaped away from her reach, and she groaned, pointing an accusing finger at him as she lowered the water bucket. Connor took a few steps forward as the danger subsided, a broad smile on his face.
"You cheater!" She yelled, holding the bucket up threateningly as Connor took a step back, holding up his hands as he began to argue his innocence. When she went to raise it above her head, though, she cried out, almost dropping the bucket as she drew her arms down, cradling her left against her chest. The smile slid from Connor's face as he quickly jogged over, crouching down to her and putting a hand on her back as he spoke to her in a low voice that Victoire could not make out. Just as she nodded in answer to some question, though, a mischievous smile broke out and she grabbed the bucket, dumping it over his head quick enough that he hadn't had time to move out of the way, but with enough leeway that Victoire could just make out his mouth drop in shock. He sat there a moment as Cora leaped away, almost doubled over with laughter as she pointed at him.
"I got you," she yelled, laughing hysterically. Connor stood, and for a moment Victoire thought he would walk away in anger, but instead he smiled, and then laughed. Laughed! Not even a chuckle, or some soft breath of a laugh, but a loud, booming laugh. Victoire was stunned. She had seen the man smile maybe a handful of times in the years she had known him, but had never known him to laugh. He started after her, yelling something about her being the cheater. Cora ran from him, smiling, but Victoire could tell she was not trying too hard to get away. Connor caught her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her off the ground as she gave a quick little squeal. When he turned his face to her neck, Victoire turned away, making for the manor. She almost laughed as she turned the corner, shaking her head with the bliss of being absolutely right. Oh, how Cora would get it when she saw her next... She had told her from the beginning! If there was anything that Victoire never failed at, it was sensing the undisclosed feelings between two people.
Well, in other people, at least. It had been far too long before she had sensed anything in her own life. Sadly, she smiled to herself, thinking of him. No one else knew, for they had thought it improper to mix such feelings into their work, but with the direction that Cora and Connor seemed to be heading, that now seemed moot. Still though, the secretive, hushed way they had gone about things was rather thrilling, though Victoire would be lying to herself if she said there had not been a time when she wanted the freedom to take comfort in him or show him affection when others were around. Even more, the last time they had been able to have a conversation, he had brought up marriage. Marriage! Of all things that Victoire Chapheau had ever been known for, it was certainly not the desire to marry and settle down. Oh, what her mother would have said... What her brother would say when he was told! He would never let her live it down after how many times she had sworn against any such thing. Suddenly, she pitied him, for she knew how hard of a time her brother would doubtlessly give him. For all that he teased Victoire, he was protective, too. He had been the eldest of their parents children, and Victoire the youngest. When their parents had died, and the rest of their siblings along with them, Stephane had become near obsessed with making sure nothing happened to her. But oh, how he was sure to laugh when he was told that she had chosen a gentle, softspoken man... He was no saint, surely, and she had seen how terrifying he could be in a battle of brawn or wits, but he was not near as stubborn or headstrong as Victoire.
"Well?" Achilles' gruff voice broke her away from her thoughts.
"They... Uh..." She glanced back out the window, wondering what, if anything, she should tell the old man. At her hesitation, he sighed, shaking his head.
"There are things to be planned and discussed."
"Should I retrieve them?"
He was quiet for a few moments, and though Victoire was sure he would insist on it, he shook his head. "No, let them be. Perhaps I can find at least one day of good rest in this house if they are not in it." He sighed again, looking out the window where Victoire could only just see them in the distance. "At least these halls will not be filled with arguments," he added, grumbling. Victoire laughed and agreed hopefully, though she knew that with those two, it was only a matter of time.
Cora could not remember the last time her face had hurt from smiling, or her stomach from laughing. Sure, she had had moments of happiness when she had been with Henry, or playing with Jane's child, braiding Hannah's hair, indulging in her sketchbook... They had been fleeting moments, though, and always underscored with sadness. Though she had long tried to remember happy moments of her childhood, she could not. It seemed for so long, all she could remember was the painful memories, the ones that had made her cold and harsh. Yet there she was, laughing freely, her cares and burdens far from her mind. And then, when Connor had taken her into his arms, and she had felt his breath against her neck as he lifted her... That was a feeling she was not sure she could even put into words.
It was nearing evening now, but still the two of them had not returned to the manor. Cora knew they should be there discussing their next move or making plans, but today, she did not care. Instead, they sat by the river, letting their horses rest after having raced through the woods. The sound of the water was calming, and though they had made good conversation, they were now sitting quietly, enjoying each other's company. Cora had pulled out her sketchbook, taking advantage of the change of scenery, and so involved she was in her work that she did not notice Connor studying her.
"What are you drawing," he inquired, looking in the direction that her eyes kept drifting.
She shrugged, then patted the ground next to her, motioning for him to come. Pointing into the distance, she closed her book, setting it aside. "See just beyond the trees? I was just drawing the river, but then..." Her voice was just a whisper, as if the smallest bit of noise would scare them away. Connor strained, trying to see where she was pointing, but then he saw them, just beyond the tree line, a doe and her fawn. The little one stepped forward, bending to the river for a drink, and Cora grabbed her book, flipping it open and quickly yet carefully beginning to add the fawn to her drawing. She bit her lip as she made her lines, furrowing her brow as she glanced between the page and the river. Connor fought a smile at the sight of her, so intent and focused. He had never seen within that book before – she always kept it so guarded. The pages were filled with drawings, and she was far better than he could have thought.
"How long have you been doing that?" He asked when she had finished. Startled, she hugged it to her stomach, her face flushing as she realized he had seen.
"I was thirteen when I covered the first page. I only have a few pages left now..."
"Can I see?"
She looked at him, hesitant, then relaxed her grip on the book. The first pages had been attempts at her family, but they were from so long ago, and she was embarrassed to even think of them. "I was so young, they are terrible," she said, flipping the pages all the same, taking great care not to let him catch a glimpse of any that were of Henry.
"My mother," she said, opening to the first pages. She held the book out to him and he took it gently, handling it reverently. "She died when I was ten, and I have trouble remembering her face. I remember her blue eyes, and that her hair was blonde – a reddish blonde. I remember her voice. But that is all..."
"I was not yet five," he said, closing his eyes as he tried to remember his own mother's face. In his dreams, it was as though he could see her there before him, but now... Twenty years had passed since he had last seen her face or heard her voice, and no matter how hard he tried, most memories were lost to him. He remembered the comfort of her arms when he was afraid, her scolding, and he thought he could remember her laugh, but all else was lost to him, save the last time he had seen her. That was something he would never be able to forget.
"I'm sorry," Cora said sadly.
"As am I." Their eyes met, and for an instant Connor felt a sense of unity, but the moment passed as quickly as it came. "You are very good," he said, turning his attention back to her drawings, turning the page.
"My father," she explained, ignoring his compliment. "I could remember him well when I drew it. And my brother," she said, motioning to the next page.
"These are good, Cora," he said again, looking her in the eye.
"How would you know?" she asked, laughing softly. "You have no idea what they really looked like!"
"No, but I can see the resemblance. You look like them. If it was terrible, I cannot imagine I would be able to notice that." Cora shrugged in response, and Connor closed the book carefully, handing it back to her. It was strange, to see the faces of people that he would never meet, and that Cora would never see again.
"I have shown that to no one," she muttered as she stood, putting the book back in her saddle bag and dusting the grass from her skirt.
"Then it was an honor to see."
Heat filled her face and she turned away, embarrassed at her reaction. What was it about him that got her so easily flustered? It was maddening! She smiled to herself, patting Ealga's neck and murmuring praises to her to try and wait out the silence between them.
"You plan to find him still," Connor said, the sentence formed in a statement rather than a question. Cora sighed, turning to him. He would never let this go...
"I will not lie to you, Connor."
"So you will?"
"Yes."
"Why did you tell me that you would not?"
Cora narrowed her eyes at him. It was not plain to her why he felt the need to start an argument after having a nice day, and after last night... Last night. She had meant to talk to him about what it had meant for them, but now...
"Because I knew it would lead to an argument, Connor. I'm tired of arguments."
"I just wish you would be honest with me," he said more gently, approaching her. "I need to know what you want to do if either of us are to be successful."
Cora did not move away as he came close, holding her head up and refusing to back down. "I do not know why you are so concerned with me telling you what I am thinking when you yourself keep so much hidden away."
She was right and he knew it, but that wasn't a conversation he wanted to have right now, and so he ignored it. "I do not want you to go before you are ready. If I had any choice, you would not go after him any time soon, but it is not my place to tell you what you can or cannot do."
"You are right," she said coldly. "It is not your place."
Connor sighed, then. This was not how he meant this to go... He had only meant to tell her that he was concerned, that he wanted her to be stronger before she did anything, but now she was angry with him. Again. "I did not mean to..." He trailed off, knowing that those words would not calm her. "I care for you," he admitted quietly, resting his hands on her shoulders. "I do not want to see you hurt again, or for you to go through a search and come back empty handed." At that, her face softened, and she leaned into him, the tension melting away. When she drew back, she looked up at him, and then in that moment, all he could think to do was kiss her. Yet just as he leaned down to her, she pulled away, her eyes wide and startled.
"I'm sorry," she rasped, staggering backward.
Before he could even call after her, she was gone, leaving him to question near every bond he thought they had forged in the past few days.
Cora stood quietly in the corner of the room, arms crossed and sulking for some unclear reason as the others discussed Fort George and Charles Lee. When Connor had asked for her to join them, he had said it as if nothing had happened, and though she went along anyway, she could still not help but be annoyed, both at his lack of anger and her own actions.
"Have you ever been inside?" Victoire asked, responding to Connor's assertion that he must breech the fort.
"No."
"Have you even seen it?"
"No, but-"
Victoire scoffed, waving her hand at him. "You cannot go blind into Fort George. It is vast, Lee could be anywhere. There is no way you could sneak around forever!"
"She is right," Achilles agreed. "Perhaps there is some way to send someone to scout the lay of the Fort." The light seemed to go on in Cora's head as she heard his suggestion, and she stepped toward the rest of the group.
"Or a map," she said with a smile.
"Do go on," Victoire said.
"Henry's uncle is one of the wealthiest men in New York, and is quite involved with the Templars. He was given oversight of the construction of newer fortifications of Fort George. I know he certainly would have a map. I also happen to know where he lives, and a way we could get into his house without being detected." Her voice was smug and she knew it, but she was so pleased that she was finally able to put her background to use that she did not try to conceal her glee. The three of them stared back at her expectantly, and she continued, leaning in.
"He has a ball each month for his friends and business partners. I have been before, I know his house well. Many come that are not invited, he would never know, and I could claim to be related to one of them if I must. We could go, use the opportunity to infiltrate his office. He must keep a copy of the map of the Fort."
"You are certain?" Connor asked, eyes wide with intrigue.
"Yes."
"How wonderful, a ball," Victoire said dryly. "Do you know when the next one will be?"
"Second Saturday of every month," Cora said, crossing her arms. "It will be easy."
"Nothing is ever easy," Achilles warned, giving her a scolding look. "It is the best chance at gaining a better understanding of where Charles Lee is hiding, but you are not ready."
Cora rolled her eyes, but nodded all the same. There was no use arguing her condition here, not with the three of them against her. She knew she was not ready to put herself in harm's way, even if she refused to admit it. "It has been months," she said, desperate for them to let her go. "I do not deny that I am still nowhere near my previous strength, but if I could get permission from Dr. White to train again..." She trailed off, looking between the three faces in front of her.
"Connor? You are the leader of this mission, you decide."
He looked at her for a long time, his eyes dark and so impossible to read. She did not dare move her eyes from his, as if it was some sort of test to win his agreement.
"Very well. We are nowhere near ready for such a mission, anyway. It could be weeks before we are, which will give you time to train and begin to regain your strength, if Dr. White allows it. You must have his permission to go, as well. It would do no one any good if you hurt yourself further and prolonged your recovery. I need your knowledge to get the map, but if you agree, I would prefer that you do not take an active role in any fighting that may come."
Accepting his words, Cora nodded curtly, satisfied with his answer.
"Victoire, if you would agree to it, we could use the extra sword."
Victoire smiled, giving a quick nod. "It will be my pleasure."
"Thank you," he said, before turning to address them all. "I think that is enough for tonight.
As they dispersed, Cora meant to pull Connor aside, to clear things up with him and explain why she had left, but his name caught in her throat when he turned to leave. Before she could do anything about it, Victoire pulled her aside, muttering of the brilliance of her plan and asking questions that Cora could only halfheartedly answer.
"I suppose we will need dresses," she said, frowning. "And it would not do for Connor to wear his Assassin robes into a Templar party," she chuckled. "I suppose we should have Ellen make us something..." Cora nodded as she spoke, but Victoire could tell that she was not paying much attention. "Oh, what happened now," she teased, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow, smiling. When Cora did not smile back, she dropped her arms. "I am sorry, I did not know-"
"It was nothing," Cora said.
"I cannot keep up with the two of you," Victoire huffed, leaning against the wall.
Cora laughed, shaking her head. "Nor can I. Truly, though, it was nothing. I just think we are both confused. Every time we speak, we can't seem to get to the point. We always talk around it, which only leads to an argument, and..."
"You argued?"
"He brought up my brother," Cora said, sighing wearily.
"Ah. I see. I, at least, have learned not to do so unless it is to ask what I can do to help you find him." Cora smiled, glancing to the door and sighing again. "He will learn," Victoire reassured her. "And so will you. That is how it is in relationships, of any kind. It takes time and effort to sustain the bond between two people, to keep it strong. Trust me."
"Oh?" Cora nudged the other woman, winking. "Care to elaborate?"
Victoire smiled, but mimicked locking her lips. "No."
"I will find out soon enough, you know it is true!"
"We will see," Victoire said, crossing her arms stubbornly. She changed the subject quickly, asking about what had happened the night before, and though Cora was not going to forget about her secret, she let it be and told her of all that had happened, save a few more intimate details. When she was finished, she expected Victoire to make a huge fuss, but instead she crossed her arms and smiled, giving a knowing look.
"Go ahead and say it," Cora said, rolling her eyes. "I know you want to."
"I knew it!" The woman exclaimed, pointing at her friend. "I always knew it!" Cora laughed at her satisfaction, ignoring the rest of her bragging as she made her way to their room.
Later, when they were both in bed and nearing sleep, Cora sat up, suddenly remembering a comment she had made weeks before. "He plays the violin," she yelled out. At first, Victoire did not even stir, and Cora thought she was already asleep, but then she groaned and turned to face her.
"You win."
"You will tell me?"
"Of course not," she laughed.
"I will figure it out soon enough."
Victoire was not concerned. "How many men do you know that play the violin?" The other woman opened her mouth but stopped mid breath, sinking back into the pillow as she realized there were none.
"Exactly. Now go to sleep, you will need all the energy you can get if you intend to convince Dr. White to allow you to train."
Though Cora tried her best to fall asleep, she knew she would not be able to until she had set things right with Connor, and so she found herself again rising in the middle of the night, making her way to his room. However, this time he was not there and she leaned against the doorframe, disappointed. Then, she realized where he was. She knew he often spent nights in the basement when he could not sleep, though what he did there, she did not know. Hesitation clouded her mind when she reached the first floor, unsure if she would interrupt him, but she pressed on anyway, determined to find clarity.
The basement was damp and cool as she came down the stairs, each step creaking under the weight of her feet. Connor stood before his wall of portraits, leaning over the table as he seemed to be examining some sort of letter or map. He turned with a sigh, looking at her wearily before surprise flashed on his face.
"I thought you were Achilles," he said, quickly closing whatever book he had been looking at. She could almost see him draw the mask over his vulnerability, his weariness and exhaustion. By now, Cora was used to him hiding from her in that way, though she despised it. Had she not been open with him? Even after everything, he still did not trust her completely, and the reminders hurt every time, no matter how often she reminded herself that he did not mean for it to do so. Cora lingered in the middle of the stairs, her hand hovering over the railing as she kept herself in the shadow. She wasn't even sure why she had come down here, but after her talk with Victoire, she had longed to explain her actions earlier, and to ask what last night had meant for them. It had taken hours to build the courage to go to his room, but when she found it empty, she had abandoned the idea. Still, when she passed by the door to the basement, she found herself opening it all the same, some part of her unable to not know what was happening between them.
Though Connor could not see her face in the dark of the room, he could sense her anxiety and hesitation. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes," she said, though she could hear how uncertain her voice sounded, even to her own ears. Cora descended the stairs, stopping a few steps above the floor so that she could stand eye to eye with him. He was skeptical of her answer, she could see that plain enough. He looked concerned, almost too much so, as if she was a fragile baby bird that had flown too early from the nest. It wasn't only concern, but also pity, and she had received enough of that to last her a lifetime. "I really am fine," she insisted more confidently, trying to banish that look from his eyes. "I just... Last night, and... earlier... I don't know what it means, what we..."
She put her hands on her hips, sighing at her inability to get her words out in a coherent fashion. "I'm sorry," she muttered, looking away in embarrassment. "I'm not really good at these kinds of conversations."
"Nor I," he responded, sounding so nearly afraid that it almost made her laugh. Here they were, so flustered by a kiss...
But then, what they had shared had not been as simple as one kiss. They had shared time, and the arguments, battles, stories and even laughter that had come with it. Cora had opened up to him in a way she had not to anyone else, even Henry and Jane, or to Victoire. She took comfort in his words, in his presence, and trusted him, even if he did not yet return it.
"I am sorry, Cora," he said, interrupting Cora's silence. "I should not have been so hard on you earlier when you spoke of your brother. I know how badly you want to find him, and how important it is to you."
"More than anything," she found herself saying. "The thought that he lives has given me hope." As have you, she thought, but the words did not find their way to her lips. Connor said nothing, only looking at her with the same stony expression he so often held. "I did not come to speak about our argument," she admitted, descending the steps and walking past him. Her eye was drawn to the book he had been reading before she had come in, but turned before her curiosity overcame her. "It is about last night."
Connor grimaced at her words, looking away from her for a moment. He had known she would come to speak to him about this, and it was something he had been dreading. Over and over he had gone through this conversation in his mind, what he would say to put her at ease, but now that they stood face to face he found his mind unwilling to comply.
"I am sorry for last night. I should not have taken advantage of you."
Cora stepped back, stung by his words. "What are you talking about?"
"You were upset, and I-"
"I came to talk to you. We were both responsible for what happened after. I would not have kissed you if I did not want to." Connor looked confused at her words, and Cora stepped toward him again, determined that he understand her. "Where is this coming from?"
"Earlier, when you left, I thought..."
Realization washed over her, then, and she softened her tone. "I'm sorry, I did not mean for you to think I was rejecting you. It had nothing to do with you in truth, I just needed some time to think about what we had spoken of."
"Still, perhaps we should not have-"
"Do you regret it then?" Cora could not hide the hurt from her face – it was evident enough to Connor, and though he wanted to reassure her, he found himself frozen. "Do you?" She repeated, her voice strained as she tried to get her question through to him.
"No." His response was confident and sincere, but it still did little to calm Cora's emotions.
"Then why are you saying this?" She could feel her eyes stinging and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Of all times for her to cry, this was not it. Frustrated with him and herself, she could feel the heat of anger beginning to run through her despite all she did to try and keep herself steady.
His voice was low and weary when he spoke, trying to steer the conversation in another direction. "Cora, please..." Scowling, Cora crossed her arms.
"I am tired of always dancing around the point, Connor. We have always done this, and I do not want to anymore. I just want to understand. What is it? What is wrong? Why can't you tell me?" Cora looked at him, her eyes wide, searching his face for any sign of what he was thinking. They had always done this, tiptoeing around what they really wanted to say, hesitating and holding back. She had done it all her life, and she would do it no longer. She wanted nothing more than to understand him, and to be understood... But standing here before him, she finally realized that maybe she would not like what she found if she understood him. Maybe she had misread him all this time... Oh, what a fool she had been.
"I'm sorry," she said finally, her voice quieter. "You were right, we should never have... This is all my fault. It's alright if you don't-"
As soon as Connor understood what she was going to say, what she was thinking, he cut her off, stepping in arms reach of her so that he could look her in the eye. "Cora, no. That is not what I meant."
"Then where is this coming from? Please, Connor," she said gently, taking his hand. "I want to understand."
He squeezed her hand softly, trying to find the words to explain. Finally, he slid his hand from hers and took a step away. When he spoke, his voice was quick and unrestrained, the words flooding out. "I cannot give you what you deserve, Cora. I cannot."
"And what is that?"
"I am devoted to the Assassins, to this cause. I belong to it," he said, his voice tense as he pointed at his chest. "I cannot give myself to you, not fully."
It was with a new understanding that Cora looked at him, then. Suddenly, everything was so much clearer. If only they had spoken so freely before! "You belong to yourself, Connor. You are free to make your own choices."
"I choose to fight for this. I have worked toward it my entire life. I cannot abandon it now," he said, his voice still wrought with urgency and frustration. Then, his face softened and he turned back to her, regret in his eyes as he spoke softly. "Not even for you." The honesty of his words stung, but she understood, and could not blame him for it.
"I am not asking you to," she insisted. "I understand that you cannot walk away from your duties, and that you do not want to."
Such unrestrained acceptance was not something that Connor had expected to receive when he finally told her of this. He had thought she would agree that they should return to their working relationship, perhaps try to salvage whatever friendship they could so that they could work together before parting ways, but this? He had not considered this as a possible reaction, and his surprise kept him from accepting her words. Perhaps she did not understand the extend of what he meant...
"I can give you nothing," he continued, his voice less confrontational. Cora could hear his resolve wavering, his determination to convince her failing. "I cannot give you my full attention. I cannot buy you nice things or spend every moment with you. I cannot provide a stable, happy life, or even my presence. Cora... I cannot even protect you," he said, reaching for her injured shoulder but instead letting his hand brush her arm. The pain in his eyes at the reminder of her wound tugged at her, and she caught his hand as it dropped, holding on tightly as she looked up at him.
"Do you really think so little of me that I would be so consumed with things? Things have never sustained me, and they never will. I don't need stability or nice dresses or your every waking moment. I only need you," she said quietly, taking his other hand.
Yet despite her reassurances, he did not give up. "Surely someone else could-"
"They could not," she said, her voice both stern and gentle. "I want no one else. I am comfortable with no one else. Connor, I respect you, and your cause. I do not ask that you throw it all away for me. Besides, there is little I can give you either, save my confidence, my trust... I am no housewife. I would rather wield a sword than a sewing needle. I do not know the proper ways of women, and I have no desire to."
"You do not need to be anything but what you are."
Cora smiled at his response. "And neither do you," she said, her point proven. His resolve was faltering, she could see, but his stubborn nature had not yet given up.
"Cora..."
"I ask little of you." Stepping closer, she slid her arms from his hands to his shoulders, looking into his eyes so that she knew he understood. "I only want you to be truthful with me. Trust me..."
Raising herself impossibly close, she lifted a hand to his neck, tightening her hold on his arm with the other as she felt him give in, his hands sliding across her waist. Her next words were only a whisper. "Love me."
He kissed her then, his hands warm against the small of her back. Before, their kisses had been gentle despite the urgency, but now was something so completely different, riddled with a passion she had not known she was capable of. She bit at his lip gently and he opened his mouth, deepening the kiss as he moved a hand to her neck, tilting her head back. Every part of her seemed ablaze, as if she would melt within his arms. She longed to feel his skin under her fingers, and tugged at his shirt. Desire ran through her and she shuddered as he kissed her neck, sucking gently at her skin. Cora knew this was going too far, but she didn't care. All she could think about was the man in front of her, to hell with all propriety.
She pulled at his shirt again, but this time tugged it upwards, and he pulled away for a moment, helping her to pull his shirt over his head, depositing it carelessly on the floor. His skin was hot against her palms, and she dragged her fingertips along his spine, reveling in the feel of him. This time she kissed him, her lips dragging against his jaw. She could hear him suck in a breath as she found a sensitive patch of skin just below his jawline. There was hardly a chance to enjoy his reaction before he had pulled her face back to his, kissing her mouth roughly as he pushed her blouse away at the small of her back, resting his palm against her skin and eliciting a silly noise from her throat. He laughed softly, but Cora was too busy to notice as she took a few steps backward, feeling for the wall. When her fingers finally found it, she pressed herself into it, using the leverage to wrap her leg around him, hooking her heel behind his knee.
Suddenly he lifted her from the floor, and she wrapped both legs around him, breaking their kiss to look at him. His eyes were dark with lust, but there was also a closeness there, a tenderness that made her stomach twist into a million knots. Their faces now level, she lifted a hand to his face, tracing his features with her thumb. When she ran it across his lips, dragging his lower lip down, he smiled at her before kissing her again, his hands moving up her sides so they rested just beside her breasts. She gave him a few moments, but when he did nothing else, she grabbed his hand and slid it across her breast, leaving him there as she wove her fingers into his hair. When he gave a gentle squeeze, moving his lips to the base of her neck, she tightened her legs around him, pulling him into her hips. A low groan escaped his lips as she felt him hard against her, and then suddenly all she could think about was how badly she wanted him. Her breaths now ragged and her face flushed, she felt him reach for the hem of her skirts, trying to push them to her hips, but the fabric was tangled around her legs and her feet, thwarting his attempts. She put her arms around his neck, intending to brace herself so she could unwind her legs without falling to the floor. Dazed by desire and passion, she forgot all else, and leaned too heavily to her left.
She sucked in a loud breath, crying out as the pain shot through her, and she let go of him, cradling her arm against her. Connor sunk to the floor with her, eyes wide and looking horrified as his hands hovered over her.
"Cora, I'm so sorry," he said urgently, his brows furrowed with concern as he looked at her.
"No," she said in a raspy breath, curling her legs tight against her as she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the pain to subside. "It was my fault, I was not thinking."
"What can I do?"
"Nothing," she muttered as the worst of it passed. She breathed deeply, opening her eyes and unclenching her fists, resting her good hand against his forearm. "I'm alright."
He helped her to her feet when she was ready, and Cora looked around the room, catching sight of his shirt pooled on the floor and her slippers that she had not even noticed had fallen off. Suddenly, Cora blushed at the realization of what they had almost just done, and though Connor had a hand against her back as she took a few steps, she could not look him in the eye. He picked up her slippers and set them on the table before pulling his shirt back on and turning to her. He said nothing, only wrapping her in his arms, taking care to avoid jolting her shoulder.
"It is late," he whispered in her ear. "You should rest." Oh, as if she would ever be able to sleep now... Truthfully, she wanted nothing more than to stay with him. She did not necessarily want to kiss him, as the moment between them had passed, but his presence was warm and comforting and made her heart feel full. All she wanted was to fall asleep in his arms, but with Victoire only a room away, that was more than unwise. Selfishly, she cursed the woman's presence, then nodded in response to Connor's words. They made their way up the stairs together, but Cora stopped at the door, turning to tuck in his shirt. For all she knew, Achilles or Victoire could be out there, and the last thing she wanted to do was face either of them looking like they did. He returned the favor, his fingers slipping the thin fabric of her shirt into her waistband. She was just finishing the tie of his night shirt when he lifted her chin, tilting her face up to him. He gave her the smallest of smiles before kissing her gently on the mouth, giving her one last embrace before she opened the door. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but what came out seemed so mundane.
"See you in the morning," she muttered, the last syllable almost a question as she realized how silly she sounded. He nodded and she kissed him on the cheek, blushing furiously as she turned and headed up the last few stairs.
Just as she put her hand on the door to push it open, he called her name, and she turned slowly, looking down at him.
"Goodnight," he said, looking down for a moment as if that was not what he had meant to say.
"Goodnight."
A/N: I must say, thank you all for all the support over this journey! I can't believe I started writing this story a year ago... It's interesting to look back at the beginning and see how my writing has changed over the past year. Sometimes I look at those early chapters and cringe, but hopefully I'm just being harder on myself than I deserve. I would not have been able to make it this far without all of your support, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
SarahXXluvingsantsrow - So glad it didn't disappoint, I was a little nervous as that chapter didn't unfold how I had planned. Cora and Connor seem to be writing themselves in a little bit different direction than I had attended, but oh well! A little spontaneity may do me well!
themadgears - Glad to see hear that you enjoyed it! "Woah" was my exact thought when I finished the chapter, haha... Even I wasn't exactly sure what happened there.
Smash-n-Mash - Thank you so much! Your words mean more than I can say! I'll try!
GuestThing - Sorry for keeping you waiting! I've had terrible writer's block in the past month, but hopefully this chapter made up for it, haha. Thanks so much for your kind words!
Feel free to review, and thanks for reading!