I still don't own Chuck.

Okay, I've documented my surgery issues elsewhere so I won't get into it here. But one thing that being in the hospital has made me realize… however bad things get there is always someone in a tougher spot.

If you've read all of my stories (and if not, WTF? :) ) you'll realize that redemption is a favorite theme of mine. Well, there is more than character that could use a little redemption here… and more than one way to find it.

Sarah is in big trouble. Being Sarah Bartowski and Agent Sarah Walker at the same time simply isn't going to work. But she does have assets, literally a whole boatload of them.

I understand that there isn't a review function on this site. But I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything.

The Road to Redemption

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Actually the mission with Bryce didn't take very long. The team was waiting for them in his hotel room wary for any sign of trouble. Fortunately, as soon as he walked in the first thing that he saw was Orion's flash card… and it was game over.

Steven and Ellie were going to wait for Bryce to regain consciousness, explain the general situation to him, and take him back to the ship for a more through debriefing. Steven estimated that Bryce would be sleeping for several hours yet. Casey volunteered to stay and back them up just in case of any unexpected trouble. Josh and Joey had some time ago been dispatched to go back to the ship and get it ready for a victory party. So that left very little for Carina and Chuck to do. Steven suggested that they just head back to the ship and wait for Sarah and her gang to show up.

Chuck was a little torn. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He was a lot torn. Sure, he wanted to be there when Sarah arrived. For some reason she was clearly struggling with this mission more than usual. But he also wasn't looking forward to being alone with Carina, for obvious reasons. Hopefully, they could just have a quiet drive.

Unfortunately, that wasn't in the cards.

They hadn't quite made it out of the parking lot when Carina turned to him. "I know that you don't believe this," she said softly. "But I'm not a bad person. I do love her. What I did I honestly believed was in her best interests."

Chuck just looked at her as if she had just spouted a third eye. "You thought that getting her drunk, seducing her husband, and using that to force her to fuck other, well who knows how many and of what gender, would be in her best interests?" he asked angrily. "What world do you live in, and what color is the sky there?"

"I don't blame you for being angry," she said. "I'd be disappointed if you weren't angry. I've underestimated you. I understand that now. And I'm truly sorry about that. But if you would give a chance to explain, my motives were good."

Chuck just glared at her skeptically.

"You asked what world I live in," Carina continued. "I live in a spy world. So did Sarah when I last left her. I'm not sure what color the sky is there. I don't spend any time looking at it. All I do know is that she wasn't equipped to live in that world. She was clearly headed for disaster."

"What are you talking about?" Chuck retorted angrily. "Sarah has been a super spy for some ten years. Who is better at it than she is?"

"She was the very best," Carina agreed. "You're right about that. I don't even think that you realize how great she was. Her skills are second to none. But she was still headed for disaster. Turn off your anger and prejudice for a second and let me convince you. This is important."

There was something about the tone of Carina's voice that gave Chuck pause. "Okay," he finally said. "I'm listening. How was she headed for disaster?"

"Spies are wired differently," Carina said. "We're just not normal people. When we're ordered to kill someone, or to deceive or sabotage… , or fuck someone, we have a switch in our head that let's us do it with no guilt. Sarah doesn't have that switch. She forces herself to follow her orders, and then she simply takes that guilt and pushes it down deep. Surely Chuck, you can see that is not healthy. No one can live for very long with that much accumulated guilt. It was only a matter of time before she cracked like an egg. I watched that build up for the past six years. She was getting closer and closer to the edge. Come on, Chuck. You know in your heart that I'm right."

Chuck thought about it for a long moment. "Let's assume, just for the sake of argument, that you're right," he finally said. "How would getting her to fuck other people help with her built up guilt?"

"It wouldn't have," Carina admitted. "In hindsight, I miscalculated. But at the time, I honestly thought that if I could get her to let go once, it would change things. She could realize that her attitude was unhealthy and maybe unclench her butt cheeks a little. Maybe develop that switch that all spies need. I was honestly trying to help her."

"How did you miscalculate?" Chuck asked. "What's changed?"

For the first time, Carina's smile was genuine. "You are what has changed," she said. "She no longer has to feel guilty, because she no longer is a spy. She's now a lovesick housewife. It honestly took me a long time to realize it. I thought it was just another one of her impressive defense mechanisms. You have to admit that she has walls like no one you've ever met. But I was wrong. She is really that lovesick. And lovesick housewives have no reason to feel guilty. You're her redemption."

Chuck didn't respond but he also couldn't keep the silly grin from his face.

Carina's smile quickly matched Chuck's grin. "I'd like a little redemption of my own," she said. "What is it going to take for you to accept my apology?"

Chuck's grin faded a little. "Tell me why," he said. "Why do you care what I think of you?"

"A couple of reasons," Carina said. "You would probably consider them selfish. First off, I was wrong. Whatever you think of me, when I'm wrong, I admit it. But the second is more important. I don't want to lose my friend. And it would be impossible to have the relationship with her that I want with her husband hating my guts. So I'd like to propose a deal."

"A deal?" Chuck asked. "What kind of deal?"

"One where we both get something," Carina replied. "I agree to respect your marriage in every sense of the word. And you agree to respect our friendship and not sabotage it… oh and not ever try to turn me into Sarah. I'm a spy Chuck. I like being a spy. It's what I do."

Chuck paused for a long moment. "I don't know, Carina," he finally said. "You're saying all the right things. But you're also trained in how to manipulate people, men especially. How do I know that you're being genuine?"

That got Carina's grin back. "I'm way ahead of you," she said. "You're right to be skeptical. I don't expect words alone to fix this. So I set up a little demonstration to prove to you with my actions that I'm being genuine. And I figure the only way to do that is by doing something that Carina would never do. Hopefully that gesture will make a difference."

For the first time, Chuck realized in the darkened car that they were no where close to the ship. In fact, Carina had just pulled into the driveway of a residential type condo and parked the car. "Well?" she asked with a grin. "What are you waiting for? Go get her."

Chuck was admittedly more than a little confused. But he really had no choice but to play this out. So he got out of the car and knocked on the door.

When the door opened, Chuck suddenly realized what Carina had just done. Whatever faults she had, and she most definitely had several, she was right this time. It was totally out of character for her. She had just gone way, way out of her comfort zone to do some nice. "Hello, Laura," he said with a pained smile.

"Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?"

x-x-x-x-x

As soon as Bryce opened his eyes, he was treated to the sight of his latest beautiful conquest staring down at him holding his hand… or more specifically his wrist.

"How are you feeling?" Ellie asked. "Is your headache better?"

Bryce paused a beat to consider the question. In fact it really did feel better… much better. "That's a new look for you," he said in his typical boyish manner. "Are we going to play a little slutty doctor tonight?"

But when he started to snake his hand up her top, Ellie just laughed and pulled away. "I may be a slutty doctor under the right circumstances," she said. "But not today. I really am a quite serious doctor. And it's not tonight anymore. It's tomorrow. How much do you remember?"

Again Bryce paused a beat to consider the question. Then full memory came back. "Oh my God," he said. "I stole a nuclear weapon."

x-x-x-x-x

Carina Miller was feeling pretty full of herself as she walked up the walkway leading to the ship. And why shouldn't she be? She had just done a good deed.

People always underestimated her. And honestly, Carina encouraged that. She liked that people thought of her as the dumb redhead whose main talent was her willingness to spread her legs wide on demand. But like she couldn't read people, spies especially. And okay, so she was wrong about Sarah… this time. But that was a special circumstance, an honest mistake. But she wasn't wrong about this. It was just as she thought. Laura would never again be happy as the lone wolf. She had made the lone wolf's fatal mistake. She had fallen in love… maybe with Casey, but certainly with her new family. That was so ridiculously obvious that it was pointless to even try and deny. She had been clearly struggling with it herself. After all, it didn't take Chuck five minutes before he had her laughing out loud… and only three minutes more before she was hugging him, throwing her bag in the trunk, and ready to climb in the back seat.

Even better was that Chuck was well on the road to forgiving her. Not that they were ever likely to become close friends. They weren't. They saw some fundamental things far too differently for that. And Carina was fine with that. She could live without being friends with Chuck Bartowski. What she couldn't live with was the prospect of not being friends with Sarah Bartowski. And now, at least, Chuck wouldn't stand in the way.

But the best part of the night was the fight. Carina loved to watch fights, most spies did. This one wasn't much of a fight, more like a beating. She had already gotten just a glimpse of what the Intersect could do on the dock in Miami. But that day she had her own assignment and didn't get a very good look. Tonight, she had a front row seat. And really, that Seth ass hat didn't give Chuck much of a choice. He was clearly convinced that it would be a mismatch of a trained agent vs. a computer nerd. And he was right. It was a mismatch. Seth's almost fatal mistake was not factoring in that the computer nerd had a computer… in his brain. Once Chuck was convinced that a fight was inevitable, he clearly took his time and slowly and methodically inflicted as much pain on Sarah's ex-husband as he possibly could before Laura finally stepped in and gently asked him to stop. It was as much of a one-sided beating as Carina had ever witnessed.

So Carina wasn't looking for any further trouble, not tonight anyway, not unless it came in the form of a shot of tequila… or maybe the whole bottle. But it didn't work out that way.

Sarah was waiting for them at the entrance to the ship. "Where in the hell have you been?" she asked.

Chuck could tell that she was a little tense. He marked it down as post mission tension. So he tried to keep the mood light. "Carina kidnapped me," he said with a grin.

It was, under the circumstance, the wrong thing to say.

Most people had never seen Agent Walker in action, didn't know about her lighting quick left foot. That wasn't true of Carina. She had seen it connect literally hundreds of times over the years. She had even tasted it herself more than once. So maybe she should have been more aware. But she didn't see the kick coming until it had impacted her jaw. Being totally unprepared to take such a hellacious blow, she went down to the deck in a semi conscious heap.

Agent Walker didn't get her reputation of being a total bad ass by allowing an enemy any time to recover. So she stepped up and launched another kick deep into Carina's gut. "You bitch," she screamed. "I told you to stay the fuck away from him. Once you make up your mind you're just not happy unless you can get in someone's pants."

By this time Chuck had recovered his bearings enough to wrap Sarah in a bear hug and keep her from launching the next kick. But she was still pretty wild. Even with the Intersect, it was a struggle to control her without actually hurting her. "Sarah," he said once he had her immobilized. "You've got this all wrong. Carina didn't do anything wrong."

Alerted to the commotion, Devon was already helping Carina sit up on the floor and was examining her. Once he was satisfied that she wasn't seriously hurt, he helped her to her feet and guided her to a chair. Her eyes were still a little glassy as she rubbed her jaw. Devon then turned his attention to Sarah, whose nostrils were still flared. "You're overwrought," he said. "I'd like to give you something to help you relax."

Sarah was just starting to regain her full senses. "I don't want any drugs," she said.

But Devon wouldn't be deterred. "Come on, Sarah," he said. "Look at you. You're a mess. Let me give you a minimal dose. It will just help you to sleep for a couple of hours. You'll feel a lot better."

"Are you deaf?" Sarah asked harshly. "I said no fucking drugs."

Fortunately for Devon, it was Chuck that interceded. He grabbed Sarah by her arms and not so gently turned her to face him. Then he put his face directly into hers. "I don't know exactly what the fuck is going on here," he said firmly. "But you are clearly having an episode of some kind. I'm worried sick about you. So this is what is going to happen. You're going to settle down and allow Devon to help you. You're going to immediately do whatever he says. And I really don't want to hear another fucking peep out of you with the possible exception of 'yes, sir'. Do we understand each other?"

There was one person in the whole world that could hope to talk to Sarah Walker like that and live to tell about it. Fortunately he was the one who was currently speaking. She didn't say anything close to 'yes, sir' but she did finally nod and try to blink some of the tears that were quickly forming.

"Come on, Sarah," Devon said. "Let's go to your cabin. You can get into bed and I'll give you the injection there so you can rest for a while."

Sarah looked towards Chuck expectantly. He smiled and nodded. "Don't worry about anything," he said as he held her tenderly. "I'm coming with you. I won't leave your side. In fact a nap doesn't sound half bad."

"We'll talk about this when you wake up."

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck was sitting by the bed holding Sarah's hand as she slept. For all of her protests, she was out like a light almost the very instant that Devon gave her the injection. Devon may have fibbed a little about the minimal dose thing. But she was sleeping as soundly as Chuck had ever seen her. And for right now anyway, that was probably for the best. Whatever had happened, they would deal with it a lot easier if Sarah was rested.

So when the soft knock came at the door, Sarah didn't budge.

"How is she?" Carina asked as she poked her head in the door, the concern clearly evident in her voice.

"I'm not sure," was Chuck's honest answer. "How are you?"

That got a little smile. "I'm fine," Carina said. "Doctor McDreamy gave me some medicine. Although just looking at him had me feeling much better a lot quicker." She nodded to where Sarah was sleeping with a short laugh. "The girl can really throw a mean kick," she said. "I can't tell you how many times over the years I've seen the surprised look on one of their faces just before her left foot sent them down for the count. It wasn't the first time that Sarah has kicked my ass and it probably won't be the last. Next time maybe I can be a little more aware and get a shot or two in myself. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about my skills. She's the best, but I could usually give her an honest fight for a while."

Carina paused for a moment, and then sat softly at the foot of the bed and got a lot more serious. "Do you believe me now?" she asked semi rhetorically. "I talked to Joan about Sarah's mission tonight. She went kinda nuts on that Fulcrum Elder bitch. Not that it's necessarily in itself a bad thing. But it's also obvious, she's on the edge."

Chuck was instantly ashamed that he hadn't paid enough attention earlier. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I'm actually listening now."

"She's in serious trouble," Carina said. "Before when she was Agent Walker, she really didn't have much to lose. The worst thing that could happen was getting killed… and since she really didn't like herself all that much anyway, even that wasn't so bad. That's why she always volunteered for the ridiculously dangerous missions. And sure, she had tons of guilt, but she was also able to rationalize it, tell herself it was part of her duty, then to push it down deep and ignore it. That worked for a lot of years. She was simply head and shoulders the very best of the best. But now…"

"She has something to lose," Chuck finished her statement.

Carina smiled at how quickly Chuck figured it out. He really was a genius. "Exactly," she said. "Now she has something to lose. She actually likes herself now. I don't think you can overstate how important that is to her. She simply loves being married to you, so much that it scares her a little. She loves being part of a family almost as much. She's terrified of losing that, of going back to the way it was before. So now when you ask her to become Agent Walker again, there is no place for that guilt to go."

"That's easy to fix," Chuck said. "We just won't ever ask her to become Agent Walker again. It's not worth it."

"That's not going to work," Carina said sadly. "I really wish that it would. But the current plan requires her to become Agent Walker… and she knows it. Can anyone short of Bad Ass Agent Sarah Walker go to Russia and stand face to face with Alexei Volkoff and live to tell about it? And in her mind she needs to become Agent Walker for the very best of reasons, to protect the new husband she honestly adores, her new extended family that she has fallen in love with, and the future family you and her are going to have together, the one she daydreams about every night. There is no way to talk her out of it. And if you put your foot down and didn't allow her to do it, her guilt would eventually become even worse."

Chuck nodded as he recognized the wisdom in Carina's logic. "It sounds like we have reached an impasse," he said. "What should we do?"

Carina's smile became relaxed and genuine for the first time. "I've already done it," she said.

Chuck was understandably a little confused. "What did you do?" he asked.

"Easy," Carina said. "I found the one person who she'll actually honestly listen to, and made sure that he understood the problem. By all accounts this man is a fucking genius. Although I have to admit, he really hasn't impressed me all that much so far."

Chuck smiled at her not so subtle shot.

"But I'm sure that he'll figure it out," she said.

"So maybe it's time that this genius impressed me a little and fixed this situation for us."

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