Ch 18: Integration
AN: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I loved it when I wrote it… back around chapter two. Now that I've revised the heck out of it to fit the fact that it's chapter 18 instead of 8… I dunno. What do y'all think?
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It takes them only moments to reach his rooms, once she mentions that both of them are capable of density shifting. He hides his reaction well, but even without her empathy she can see how startled he was by that reminder. It makes her curious. Who is this man with her Uncle's mindscape but not his mind?
Though M'gann doesn't dare intrude into her counterpart Uncle's mind, she can't restrain herself from feeling around it. The unique undercurrent of loneliness and sadness that pervades his feelings, despite the surface calm, fascinates her. She wants so much to soothe the hurt in the mind that feels so much like her Uncle's. She instinctively grabs his arm and leans in closer to him. He flinches, but doesn't try to shake her off. Again, her interest is piqued. What has he been through that such casual gestures are surprising?
"These are my rooms," he says somewhat hesitantly when they arrive. He seems unsure of what to do now.
"I see what you mean about the shielding." She tries to assuage his self-consciousness. "It's so… quiet here."
He nods his head in assent.
"Can… can we meditate now? I've missed your guidance so much since we started this whole dimension-hopping thing."
"You would like me to join you? Truly?"
"If you don't mind, of course." She clarifies, remembering that this is not her uncle, and that she shouldn't be so familiar with him just because he's been kind to her thus far. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"
"I do not mind." He cuts her off. No, J'onn does not mind this at all. He too, has missed partnered meditation. His mind has been empty of all but his own thoughts for so long… He's somewhat embarrassed of how out of practice he is, actually. "I might be more of a hindrance than a help, actually. It has been many Mars cycles since I have last meditated with another."
She backpedals as his grief surges. "I'm so sorry, Unc- J'onn. I didn't mean to-"
"It is not your fault, M'gann." He soothes her worries. He tries not to dwell on how his heart skipped when she began to call him Uncle. "I am pleased to meet you, and proud to know how my kin might have turned out."
She drops her eyes at that, ashamed at the regard he has for her. It's one thing for the Team – her family – to forgive her. For this man – the counterpart to the loving Uncle whose kindness she'll never be able to repay, despite his protests to the contrary – to admire her is too much.
She replies in his mind out of reflex. 'You think too highly of me, J'onn.'
'I doubt that is true.'
A sort of bitter disagreement swells through the link from her side. 'That is because you do not know me. You do not know the mistakes I've made.'
'Everyone makes mistakes. I myself have a fair share.'
'Few as egregious as mine, I am sure.'
'I would like to be the judge of that myself.'
She hesitates. 'If I show you, it's only fair that you return the favor.'
'…If that is the price you ask for knowing you, I will gladly pay it.'
She nods, and allows him to take her hands in his. They sit cross-legged, quickly floating off the ground as if this were any other meditation, only they hover right across from each other. With one last confirmation that yes, this is okay, they both lean in and touch their foreheads together.
Their minds meld.
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They're not expecting it.
She should have been expecting it.
He hadn't been paying attention, simply enjoying an evening picnic with his wife on their balcony. Mars has been at peace for so long that they don't immediately understand what's happening when fire rains down upon them.
She hadn't been paying attention, just following silently behind her sisters as always. This area has been segregated long enough that she should have known better than to enter.
He's pulling his wife inside, scooping up their daughter.
She's pulled roughly outside and thrown down onto the ground.
His daughter is crying, and he holds her tight as they wait for the next explosion. When he glances at his wife, he sees fear. He can't hold her gaze, and looks away.
Her sisters have noticed the commotion now; how she's waiting for another blow, another taunt. They look away, embarrassed of her.
They wait out the first attack in their basement, and survive the retreat to the city's center.
She can only wait for her attackers to tire of this so she can retreat to the city center, where all colors are allowed.
They say things can't get any worse, but it gets harder to believe that every time.
She tries to remember that she's more than the color of her skin, but it's harder to believe that every time.
The invaders have learned to shape-shift, and people are on edge. You can't trust anyone anymore. They develop passwords and codes as they learn to always ask who people are.
She's learned how to patch herself up; it's better than feeling the shame in her family's mind when she come home in such a state. This way, her mother doesn't ask, and her sisters don't have to tell.
Their measures fail. Their camp is infiltrated. They are betrayed.
She's too used to this treatment to even feel betrayed.
It gets worse. Bloody battles rage. His family is in danger. They need to leave.
Things get worse. Racial tensions are high. Her family is uncomfortable with her. She needs to leave.
He makes contacts with others who are fleeing. It will be a fight, but it's his only chance to get his family out.
She sneaks aboard her Uncle's ship to earth. It will be a fight to convince him of her worth, but it's her only chance to get away from this.
It is not as hard as it should be, to become violent. To fight back. To kill.
It is harder than it should be, to understand the rules that go with being a part of the League.
He's lost contact with many of his old friends, but he has found new ones along the way.
She doesn't keep in contact with her family. The Team is her family now.
The invaders keep coming, and the Martians fall one by one.
The invasion comes in their minds, and the League falls one by one.
"My'ria'h!"
"Artemis!"
His wife is gone; their daughter falls soon after. There is not hope for Mars now. He has nothing left to lose when he joins the resistance for one final, desperate assault.
Artemis is gone, then Kaldur. They pin their hopes on Wally's Zeta Beam theory. When he's wrong, there is nothing left to lose. At least he and Robin go down fighting together.
They win. Their plan worked and the invaders are all paralyzed.
They win. The mother ship is destroyed.
The cost was too high.
The cost was too high.
He wishes it was a nightmare.
It hurts, even though it was a nightmare.
He guards them, to keep them from hurting others.
She will protect them, and they will keep saving others.
Time passes slowly. His people and world are dead; he's left only with his stagnant tormentors.
Time passes quickly. The Team and the world seem to be changing too fast.
The invaders manage to leave their prison. He has no choice but to follow. He talks these other heroes into helping him, and he leads them into the fight.
Wally decides to leave the team. Artemis chooses to follow. Dick tries to talk them out of it, and it turns into a fight.
They form a League and vow to protect this planet. Even Batman is willing to leave his preferred isolation for them. They are aliens, demigods and even simple humans, but they learn to fight as one. J'onn won't know until later that he was watching his family come together.
Zatanna and Raquel join the Justice League. Kaldur becomes withdrawn after Tula's death. One by one, her teammates are leaving, quitting, even dying. Her heart breaks as she watches her family fall apart.
Things get harder and Flash becomes their precious light. One day, they learn just how mortal he is. J'onn can't stop his other self. 'They're just bad guys,' the Lords say, 'their lives are worth nothing for peace.'
Conner is her one rock through it all, but now he's threatening to leave her too. She can't stop what she's doing though. They're just bad guys. Their minds are worth nothing next to her family.
Batman has an idea, as always. It will be a hard fight, though, with so many of them outmatched by their counterparts. It would be simpler if they just end the Lords permanently. It would solve so many of their problems.
She has an idea. Conner just needs to forget he was mad at her and then everything will be okay again. It would be such a simple thing, really, and it would solve so many of her problems….
It's a line he can't bear to cross.
She crosses the line.
They've won. He never thought Superman would turn to Lex Luthor of all people, but it worked. The team becomes closer in their victory. He hasn't felt this connected since he was back on Mars.
She's ruined everything. He'll never forgive her, never love her again. She realizes she has no one to turn to. Not with the Team so distant nowadays. She's hasn't felt this alone since she was back on Mars.
How dare Shayera betray them. They were supposed to be family. Instead, she brought invaders to their door.
How dare Kaldur betray them. They were supposed to be family. Instead, he killed their sister.
But apparently they were her family, and she came back to them. "I know what they're going to do."
But apparently they were his family; he had never left them. "What have you done?"
They manage to stop them. Together.
We can still fix this. Symbiosi.
It's hard, after the Invasion. Shayera's gone, and they'll never be the same again.
It's hard, after the Invasion. Wally's gone, and they'll never be the same again.
But life goes on. With the threat of other invasions hanging over their heads, they expand the League, even though it increases the risk of betrayal.
Life goes on, and with the threat of the Light hanging over their heads, M'gann returns to her home world with her beloved in a desperate gamble for allies.
"J'onn. We need to talk."
"Conner, we need to talk."
"I need to apologize. For lying. For betraying the League. For letting you down."
"I need to apologize. For lying. For betraying your trust. For trying to alter your mind."
"I know I can't make up for it. But even so, I'm rejoining the League. You all are my family and I want protect you. So it doesn't happen again."
"I know I can't make up for it, but there are priests on Mars who can ward your mind, teach you to feel and eject intrusions. You mean so much to me, and I want you to be able to stop me so I can't do it again, even if I wanted to."
"I forgive you. Isn't that what family does?"
"I forgive you. I… I still love you, you know."
Shayera is back. They are whole for the time being.
Dick comes back, but they aren't whole. Yet.
Wally's missing, maybe dead, and there's nothing they can do to save him.
Something's trying to kill Wally in every dimension. Are you up to try and save him?
Their Wally is returned, but it turns out he's not, in fact, theirs. His old team is here to save him. It changes everything.
Yes. Yes it does.
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AN: Well, I officially fail at consistency. Confrontations- no quotes on thought speech. Realizations- double quotes. Here- single quotes. Whoops. I just don't have it in me to go back and change it though.