Interactions

It had been two weeks since they'd left the farm, the burning barn, the herd of walkers. Two weeks since she'd lost everything but her sister and her daddy. Two weeks since everything she'd known had been turned upside down. Everyone else seemed to be handling the situation better than she was, even Lori despite the fact that she was now starting to show the sings of the pregnancy. She wanted to be strong like them, she wanted to be able to hold herself together, but every time she tried, she felt empty and hollow inside. It had gotten to the point where she was faking everything, every smile, every laugh, every bite of food. She ate less and less every day, it just tasted like ash in her mouth. No one seemed to notice though and as long as she could keep them in the dark they would leave her alone. She was a background character in the story they were apart of now and she liked it that way. No one bothered her, no one harassed her. They just let her be.

Summer was over now and it was getting colder. Rick and Daryl had left a few hours ago to see what they could find worth bringing back to try and keep them warm. They were held up in an old farm house but they wouldn't be there long. They never stayed in one place long. They had to keep moving, keep looking for something better, something safe. She was starting to become cynical. There was no more safe, safe had gone up in flames the second Shane opened that stupid barn.

She heard them come back but she didn't move. She didn't join the others in the living room. She stayed where she was in the hallway, curled up in a corner beside an old grandfather clock, staring at the wall. She'd been outside earlier; they didn't even know she'd left. She doubted the noticed. Maggie and Glenn were too wrapped up in each other, Lori and Carl and her daddy were too wrapped up in worry about Rick and the baby, and she had no idea what T-dog and Carol were doing. They didn't pay her any attention and as long as she could float under the radar she would be fine. She wouldn't have to pretend, wouldn't have to fake everything to please them. If they knew how empty and hollow she felt, how utterly useless she felt, they'd put her back on suicide watch and she'd never get a moment to herself.

Later that night, it was her job to make dinner. She was outside with Daryl playing lookout as she cooked the few squirrels he'd shot over a small fire. They had a few cans of beans, but they were saving those for when things got really bad. As long as Daryl could bring meat home, they would keep the canned food for emergencies. They didn't talk, he just stood there, leaning against the tree with his crossbow as she pushed the meat around, making sure it was cooking right. She had noticed that he was wearing warmer clothes. She assumed they had managed to find something while they were out but she hadn't gone to look. She was still in her summer clothes, but as close to the fire as she was, she didn't feel the chill seeping into her body.

She snuffed out the fire and took off the t-shirt she was wearing over a tank top and wrapped it around the handle of the pan she'd been using. She carried it back inside, Daryl following her. She set the pan on the table and stood back, pulling her shirt back on as everyone started to eat. Her stomach churned as the smell reached her nose inside the small room, away from the smoke and burning wood and she felt sick. She quietly snuck away from them as they ate, no one noticed. She all but ran outside and over to the bushes that surrounded the house so close to the woods. Her nails bit into the rough bark as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the shrubbery. She was surprised more than acid came up; she couldn't even remember the last time she ate more than a few bites of food.

She slowly stood up and all of the blood rushed to her head, making her dizzy. She almost fell over until two strong arms wrapped around her waist and held her up. She looked back at him and she could see the anger in those intense blue eyes. "Thanks," she muttered as he set her back on her feet. She held onto the tree until the dizzy spell had passed.

"You need to eat," he told her, crossing his arms.

She glanced at him. They were starting to notice. "I just threw up because the smell made me sick. I don't think I'd keep it down." She hoped he bought the lie.

He didn't. He walked back into the house and came back with a few bigger pieces of squirrel. "You're throwing up and dizzy because you're not eating." He looked stern as he held his hand out to her. "If you don't take it, I'm gonna force feed ya." Beth glared at him and took it from him, sitting against the tree as she forced all of the meat down her throat. It was dry and tasted horrible. She hadn't realized Daryl had left until he dropped a sweater on her lap and sat down beside her on the ground. She looked at him and then at the sweater. "Put it on before you get sick."

She hated being bossed around but she did as he commanded her anyways. "Thanks." She might not like the way he was coddling her, but she was still grateful as she realized she was colder than she thought.

He watched her carefully for a few moments. "Beth, you gotta start eatin' more."

She shook her head. "Lori, Carl, and daddy need more than I do. I'm fine." It was true, with a baby on the way, a thirteen year old, and her dad pushing seventy-two, they needed it more than she did. She could live on a few bites.

Daryl shook his head. "Ain't a good enough excuse." He pinned her with a look. "They might not notice cause they're too wrapped up in their own bullshit but I do." He got up and moved so he was sitting beside her. "You don't eat, you go off by yourself all the time, you don't hardly say two words to anyone…you don't sing anymore."

She looked at him. "How did you know I sing?" She hadn't done it in front of them before. Only when she was alone in her room and the house was quiet.

He blushed a little, looking at his lap, embarrassed. "I would sit outside your window…back at the farm." She just stared at him. She hadn't known. She was starting to see the rough redneck for the first time. She had thought he was just mean and brutal, but now…she could see the softness in him, the compassion, the need to help others. He might keep it buried way down deep, but it was there.

…

Over the next few weeks the group started to take notice of Beth, but not because she wasn't eating. It was because of how much time she was spending with Daryl She always sat beside him, always ate whatever he gave her, always slept beside him at night. It was staring to worry them a little bit. Daryl wasn't the best role model in the world. They never brought it up though, never said anything. As long as the relationship remained platonic, they wouldn't.