Hey, happy new year! Here's my first update of the year! I hope it's a good one.

As a warning, these next couple of chapters (including the end of this one) kinda spoil the manga from chapter 45 on. So if you haven't read them, then I would suggest you go read them before this if you don't want the manga spoiled. But hey, it's up to you, don't gotta listen to me.

Anyway, enjoy!

Three months had past since Erwin and I had signed our marriage certificate. As far as I could tell, we worked pretty well together. But it was hard keeping our relationship a secret. We could not always sleep together and could not publicly hold hands or things like that that I wanted to do. Sometimes we would accidentally stare at each other for too long when we passed by in the hallway or wherever. Thankfully, we only had a few close calls to our discovery. It was difficult, but I think the distance we put between ourselves actually strengthened our relationship to an extent. It certainly set up boundaries between us, meaning what was okay to do and what was not. I liked it best when we could be alone together and were free to be beside one another without worrying about whether or not someone saw us.

During our third month together, I continually awoke having to puke. It was usually in the morning or the middle of the night. It was highly annoying and I could not figure out why I would be feeling like crap one minute and then be fine the next. If it was during the night, I would have to scramble to crawl over Erwin just to make it to the bathroom in time.

"You should see a doctor," Erwin suggested one night as I knelt beside the toilet. It sounded more like an order than a suggestion, but I supposed being a military commander was hard to snap out of sometimes. "This may be more serious than you're taking it to be," he said, kneeling beside me and holding my hair back as I retched into the toilet.

I narrowed my eyes. "I'll be okay," I replied, retching again. I felt flushed and my head was spinning. "I probably just keep eating something bad."

"You eat the same as everyone else. I don't think it's that."

"Fine, then I have a stomach virus," I snapped, suddenly feeling very irritable. I leaned my head on the edge of the toilet. It felt cool on my forehead.

Erwin pushed some loose strands of hair away from my face and tucked them behind my ear. "I'll get one of the doctors to take a look at you tomorrow."

I shook my head. "I'll be fine, really."

Before Erwin could reply, we heard the door to the bedroom open. "Commander!" It was Espyon. "We have a problem," she announced, rushing into the bathroom. "The West Wing dorms are on fire!"

Erwin immediately stood and followed Espyon out the door. "Stay here," he said to me. (As if I was feeling like I could move away from the toilet without throwing up anytime soon.) I could hear his voice trail away as he gave orders to Espyon. "Wake up the other dorms and get everyone outside to help. Have them get as many large open containers as possible for water…"

I had wondered why Espyon had come to inform Erwin of the fire instead of Levi. Then I remembered Levi was out watching over some Wall Cult Priest or something. Hanji was with another group doing something else. I tried to stay well informed, but I obviously did not try hard enough.

When my head finally cleared and my stomach settled down, I stood up and went down to the courtyard as quickly as I could. I did not find any buckets or anything to carry water to put out the flames, but I went empty-handed anyway.

When I made it outside, there were plenty of people in their pajamas running amuck with buckets of water and throwing it onto the fire. Windows busted open and more flames licked out, lapping at the cool night air. Black smoke rose up against the already dark sky. From where I stood, I could feel the intense heat coming from the burning wing of the castle.

I only saw a group of about five people covered in soot from being inside the building. Some of them were lying on the ground while others sat up, coughing heavily. I noticed they were all younger soldiers. I ran towards them, hoping I could be of some help to somebody.

The closest one to me was a boy, probably not much older than 17, lying on the ground. His hair was black and dirtied with ash. Black smudges covered his pale face and skin. His right arm, shoulder, and neck was burned to boils. His night shirt was mostly burned off. I cringed at the sight of the wound. I quickly noticed he had stopped breathing, even though he had been just a minute ago. I checked for a pulse and found nothing.

I knelt beside him and tilted his head back. I could see the other young soldiers watching me out of my peripheral vision. I pinched his nose shut and pushed my mouth to his, breathing air into his lungs. I released his face and set my hands on his chest, pressing down hard rhythmically. I returned back to his face and repeatedly breathed air into him and then I was back to pressing on his chest. I pressed two fingers to his throat to check for a pulse again. Nothing. I went back to breathing air into him and pressing on his chest. I checked again. Still nothing. I started to become desperate. I continued my actions, hoping some bit of life would flicker back into the boy.

The last time I knew it was possible for him to come back, I pressed my fingers to his throat and felt a faint beating. I sighed softly in relief. The boy coughed harshly, spitting up blackened phlegm. He did not open his eyes, but instead continued coughing until he was breathing better. I needed to treat his wound, but I did not have anything to treat it with. I stood and ran inside, running towards the hospital wing. They were bound to have an emergency kit of some kind. Or at least gauze and all that. I grabbed as much supplies as I could carry, unsure of how much I would need.

I ran back outside and shot a glance towards the burning building. It was still mostly in flames, but it was more contained. The air smelt of burnt wood and flesh. I tried not to think of the second scent and breathed through my mouth instead of my nose. The smell made me want to gag and throw up again. I pressed on.

I carried the items back towards the group of teens and began treating them as best as I could. A few other soldiers came over from carrying buckets of water to help me treat them. It did not occur to me until later that we could have carried them inside to treat them, but they needed the medical attention immediately.

When the fire was finally extinguished, it was early morning, the sun peeking over the horizon and the sky a peach color. The medical staff had earlier taken the five teens inside to treat them better than what I could do. I had changed clothes since then. I now sat on the steps of the castle looking over the still busy courtyard. Espyon sat on my left, fiddling with the fabric of her pants.

"Well," I said, breaking the silence between us, "that sure was eventful."

Espyon nodded. "Unfortunately."

I ran my fingers through my tangled hair. "Now what?"

My friend shrugged. "I dunno." She looked at me. "Do you mind if I braid your hair?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. I have a hair brush in my room. I'll run and get it." I ran inside then quickly back out a few minutes later with the brush in hand.

I sat a few steps below Espyon while she brushed all the knots out. Her slim fingers running through my hair and against my scalp were highly comforting for some reason. I could not remember the last time anyone had even done my hair, let alone when the last time I braided it myself. It was an odd request once I thought about it. I mean, a quarter of our platoon just burned to death and Espyon wanted to braid my hair. It was a distraction for both of us.

She pulled the locks from the top of my head down to the ends into a tight braid, tugging it every so often and then tying it off with a band. Her hands paused and rested on my shoulders. "Ariadne," she said quietly.

I felt the braid with my hand, assuming she was finished. "What is it?"

"Most of the people who were going to go on the expedition were in that dorm," she said, still speaking softly. "Do you know what this means…?"

I stared up at her. "No…what does it mean?"

"Ariadne, Commander Erwin will have no choice but to let me go outside the walls." Her dark eyes were bright with the sense of adventure. She tried hiding a smile, but soon failed.

I did not like the way this was heading. "Espyon, you do realize it just took a bunch of people to die for that to happen, right?"

The light in her eyes faded slightly. "Yes," she said quietly, looking beyond the courtyard. "I-I know it's terrible, but, Ariadne, you don't know how long I've waited to go outside the walls." Her voice strained with her desire.

I shook my head and then leaned against her. I did not like it. I of course did not tell her my thoughts because I did not want to crush her hopes of ever escaping the walls. It had already been a demanding day for the both of us. I would talk to Erwin later to see if what Espyon thought was true. I wished it would not be.

Suddenly, a horse with a rider came bursting into the courtyard. Espyon and I stood immediately, alarmed and curious as to who the rider was and why he had appeared so quickly. As soon as the horse stopped, the rider got off and removed his hood. Light orange hair on his head was blown back from riding so fast for so long. His green eyes were wide open. Joseph.

Joseph ran up to Espyon. "Where is your commander?" he asked urgently. "I need to speak with him immediately! I have a message for him!"

"Follow me," she ordered, turning swiftly and going inside with Joseph not far behind. I followed after them both, arriving at Erwin's office in what felt like a matter of seconds. Espyon quickly knocked on the door and soon ushered Joseph inside after we were welcomed in.

"Commander Erwin!" Joseph saluted and immediately started to speak. "Sir, I have a message for you and you must hear it and come with troops as soon as possible." Erwin looked at him, glanced at Espyon and me, and nodded for him to go on. He breathed in deeply before continuing. "They found no abnormalities or breaks in the wall."

"That's good to hear," Erwin said. "Is there more?"

Joseph nodded gravely. "On their way back from Trost, they met Commander Hanji's Scout Forces and found some of her troops did not have 3D gear. These troops were new cadets from the 104th trainee squad." He gulped and began to shake. "As it turns out, 3 among those soldiers turned out to be Titan Shifters!"

Espyon and I gasped and turned to look at each other then back at Joseph. "Who?" I asked. I figured I might have seen them or knew them, whoever they were. I did not consider that other people, besides Eren Jaeger and Annie Leonhardt, could be Titan Shifters.

Erwin held up a hand to me. "Wait," he said, turning his attention back to Joseph. "What happened after they were found out?"

Joseph continued shaking, but more visibly than earlier. It was affecting his voice. "T-the Scouting Legion en-engaged in fighting the C-colossal and Armored T-titans. By the t-time we got there I-I was told t-to c-come here and g-get you and more tr-troops t-to be sent back t-to the wall." He breathed in heavily again. "Another thing, the T-titan Shifters took C-cadets Eren Jaeger and Ymir!"

Erwin looked alarmed. "What do you mean by that? They took them?"

Joseph nodded. "From what I was t-told the Armored T-titan had bitten Jaeger out of his T-titan form and the C-colossal T-titan turned back t-to a human and c-carried off Ymir, escaping on the Armored Titan's shoulders."

Erwin rubbed his chin, thinking hard. His face was dark and grave. "Ride back as fast as you can. Tell them I will be there with troops as soon as possible."

Joseph nodded again with a salute. "I need a fresh horse," he requested, gathering a bit more confidence now that he had finished relaying his message. "Mine is tired and would not be as fast."

Erwin nodded as well. "Espyon, please see that he gets a horse and his is watered and cared for. Also, get as many able troops as you can prepared for going outside the walls."

"Yes, Commander." She paused for a moment, waiting for Joseph to begin following her and started out the door. I knew at some point Espyon wanted to ask Erwin to go outside the walls for this, but there was never an appropriate moment.

Joseph stopped in front of me before continuing after Espyon. "Sorry," he apologized with a small smile. "We can't ever seem to meet up under better circumstances, can we?"

I shook my head. "No, apparently not," I replied, returning a smile.

"See you," Joseph said, following quickly after my friend.

I turned back to Erwin, who was sitting at his desk with his face in his hands. "Erwin," I said, taking a step forward.

Erwin slammed a hand on his desk, making me jump. "Dammit!" he cursed, wiping his face. He was avoiding my gaze.

"Erwin, what's going to happen now?" I prompted.

He glanced at me. "Ariadne, I'm sorry," he apologized, straightening himself. He stood, walked up to me, and held me in a sheltered embrace, his hand stroking my braided hair. We stood for a while in silence. I was unsure of why he was hugging me at a time like this, but I soon realized it may be the last time I ever would.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his torso. "Erwin," I said after a while. "Whatever happens, I will trust your judgment. Even if it's something that goes against what you want."

"I don't want you to go to the frontlines, Ariadne," he admitted, bending down slightly to kiss the top of my head. "I don't want either of you out there."

I breathed in his familiar scent and sighed into his chest. "You have no choice," I replied. "None of us want to be out there, but there's no one else to spare." I hugged him tighter. "Plus, it's one thing to keep me at home, but not Espyon. She deserves at least one look at freedom." I rested my chin on his chest and looked up at him. "Put her in the safest spot of the formation you can think of. That's how this all works, right?"

Erwin sighed. "That's just it. There isn't really a safe-spot in the formation. When you're outside in the open like that, things are unpredictable. Anything can happen."

I did not like leaving the conversation off like that, but we needed to be going. Before leaving his office, I kissed him, savoring the feeling of his lips on mine. "I'll see you soon," I said as I left to find Mary Kat and get our gear together. I soon found Espyon as well and informed her to get gear on with the rest of us because she would be coming with us.

I was silent as I got my gear ready and put on. I felt like I had forced my husband to sign my own death certificate. My heart was already heavy.

Ugh, these next couple of chapters may be a while because they're really choc full of stuff and it's going to be interesting. But, hey, at least Espyon gets to go outside the walls now, which is what she's wanted for the last 10 years or so of her life. We shall see what happens next time.

Please feel free to leave a review with your predictions for the coming chapters! Thanks for reading!