Just because I don't update for a month doesn't mean the story's over. There's still some stuff I can get out of this story, trust me! And I apologize for taking so long. February and March have been so freaking busy for me (as will April and May be also) I had no motivation to write nor the mean to. Stupid writers' block.

Anyway, so I don't really know if this would be too much to ask of you guys, but I wouldloveto see some fanart of this fic. I have practically no talent when it comes to drawing things inside my head (which is why I write instead). I'm not making you obligated to do so, but I would be so happy to see some. If you do happen to take up this challenge, send me a link or just send it to me directly so I can see it! Thank you so much! You guys are the best!

Our marriage in this world was different. Here, we actually had to work at the marriage itself rather than work on keeping it hidden. I quickly got used to being able to actually hold Erwin's hand in public, but nothing more. A month or two after our marriage, Erwin was finally put into the reserves of the military, meaning that he would only be called upon for duty during a draft or in a national emergency. Only once every three or four weeks would he have to leave for a couple of days to train.

We lived in a modest home at first and then a year later moved into a beautiful house in a mountain valley. I loved living there. The lush green grass and wild flowers grew all over the hills surrounding our house. I liked being able to sleep outside on a blanket when it was warm and sunny, the tall grass providing a nice cushion. Sometimes I would go walking up around the mountains behind our property. It was perfectly secluded, but at the same time close enough to a small town where we could buy groceries and other necessities without much hassle.

Since it was only the two of us at the house, we freely talked of our time in our other world. Unlike the other world, we were able to keep our memories of being there. We enjoyed the freedom we felt living in the mountain valley. We felt as if we could rebuild our lives again. Properly and with each other.

Sometimes, I would find myself staring out at nothing, imagining what it would be like to be back in that world again. A concerned touch on my shoulder from Erwin would quickly bring me back to reality. I found that I was not the only one who would space off. Every so often, when Erwin and I discussed certain things, he would call me Levi or Espyon or even Hanji, but would quickly apologize and correct himself soon after. I pretended I did not mind, but we both knew it hurt. We relied on each other to keep ourselves in a reality.

Erwin pretended not to notice the stray orange cat that I kept feeding every time it came to our back door. I would leave out a bowl of leftover food for him to eat. Eventually I got the cat (whom I coincidentally named Marcus) inside and bathed him so he could go in and out of the house as he pleased. Erwin accepted it, knowing I would reject to getting rid of him.

One particular morning, I awoke before Erwin with a sick feeling to my stomach. I knew immediately what it was. I sat up in bed and slipped out from under the covers, trying not to wake Erwin or Marcus, and silently made my way towards the French doors that led to an outside patio. Erwin stirred lightly in his sleep. Marcus jumped off the bed and ran after me, meowing softly. He purred loudly and rubbed against my legs. It was still early morning, too early to be awake yet, the sun not even lighting up the sky. I opened the door as quietly as I could and stood outside, taking in the cool morning breeze that whipped around my bare legs and arms. I pulled my shirt down some and rubbed my arms, trying to keep warm. I hoped the fresh air would calm down my stomach as it gurgled and churned uncomfortably.

Finally I realized that the air was not helping. I rushed back inside as quietly and as quickly as I could towards the bathroom, making it just it time to retch into the toilet. I pushed my hair back and puked again, losing the rest of the dinner I had eaten several hours before. I glanced towards the bedroom through the open door of the bathroom. Erwin had not gotten up. I used my foot to kick the door shut, wincing when it closed with a bang. After a while my stomach settled and I was able to pull away from the toilet bowl. I had a suspicion as to why I was puking again. I reached under the counter and pulled out the small box for the pregnancy test. (I had bought one just in case). After following the instructions and waiting for the results, I was not entirely surprised to find it positive. As soon as I realized what that meant, a bout of fear struck me.

I did not want to lose this child as I had before. Certainly I would not lose it in the same way as I previously did, ifI did of course, but I was still scared. I knew I would have to tell Erwin, and soon. As I sat leaning against the wall of the bathroom, I devised a plan to let him in on my knowledge of the child. I would wait until evening to tell him. I opened the door to the bedroom and shivered, goose-bumps crawling over my skin as I slid beneath the still warm covers. Marcus hopped up on the bed near my feet at the end of the mattress, curling up into a ball.

Erwin rolled over to face me, his eyes still drooped from sleep. "What were you doing?" he inquired sleepily.

"Just getting some fresh air," I replied, scooting closer to him and pulling the blanket up to my chin to warm up faster.

"Feeling alright?" he asked, glancing at me for a moment before closing his eyes again.

I nodded, smiling reassuringly. "I'm fine now. Go back to sleep."

"You too," he told me, adjusting his arm underneath his pillow. After a few moments he said, "Get your legs off me. You're cold."

I giggled playfully and snuggled closer to him, falling asleep soon after.

All day I anticipated telling Erwin my "secret." I still felt a little scared, but I brushed it off, feeling determined to be upfront about it. That evening, Erwin and I were sitting on the couch under a blanket while we watched a fire burn in the hearth. His left hand absentmindedly stroked my hair. I had my hands lying limply on his chest. It was romantic enough that I imagined the scene could come straight out of a romance novel. Marcus was curled up on the rug in front of the fire, sleeping soundly. I was so cozy and warm sitting beside Erwin that I nearly had forgotten to tell him the news. I watched as he took a sip of wine from a glass and struggled to set it on the side table using his right arm.

I looked up at him, resting my chin on his shoulder. "Erwin, I'm pregnant," I stated almost too bluntly.

Erwin stared down at me. "Really?"

I nodded. "Found out this morning."

"Oh, so that's why you were up," he stated, looking back towards the fire.

I nodded again. "Pretty much." It was not necessarily the reaction I was hoping for, but I waited for the realization to settle in.

Erwin adjusted himself to where he had his hand over my stomach, as if feeling for a bump that had not begun to show. "Really?" he asked again.

I nodded again, a smile forming on my face. "Yes. Really." I waited, searching his face for any kind of surprise. "Are you not excited?" I asked, frowning slightly.

"I don't know what to think," he replied, staring down at our entangled feet. He looked back at me again. "We're going to be parents?" he asked, seemingly in disbelief.

I nodded a fourth time. "Yes, we are."

I could feel Erwin's touch suddenly become gentler, as if he was afraid that him touching me too roughly would hurt the baby in some way. He kissed me softly, letting me know he loved me and was as excited as me.

As my stomach grew, so did my anxiety. I was terrified that something bad would happen to me and the baby. When Erwin would leave for the week for training, my fear would worsen. Nightmares would return to me as I slept, but left when Erwin returned home. I continued to see Dr. Wyatt throughout my pregnancy. He assured me that myself and the baby would be alright, but that did little to calm me. Erwin ended up taking another job in the city nearby our home to pay for our coming baby. With each passing month, our house slowly filled with gifts from friends and family as the wonderful news spread. They were meant to be kind gestures, but I could not help but think of what to do with them if I lost this one. I did not want to lose him (or her, whichever it was). It was only after I felt the flutter of movement inside me that I relaxed and began to really look forward to becoming a mother.

It was when I was sitting on the couch reading when I first felt it. I immediately set my book down, shutting it with a snap. "Erwin!" I exclaimed, dashing outside where he was. I reached for his hand when he paused in his work. "Feel this!" I excitedly put his hand to my bulging stomach where I felt the fluttering. "Do you feel that?"

Immediately he smiled. Laughing lightly he said, "Yes, I feel that." He got on his knees in front of me, gently pressing his lips to my stomach and then turned his head against my middle to listen. He smiled again. "Hey, don't be beating up your mother," he said playfully.

I smiled. I enjoyed seeing this soft part of Erwin that he seemed to reserve only for me. I wondered what it would be like once the baby was born. I imagined seeing this softer side of him more and more often. The thought of it made me beam.

The time for our baby to be born could not have come at a worse time of day. I was home alone, besides Marcus, and Erwin had just left for work not long before. My anxiety was so bad just dialing the phone to call Erwin was nearly impossible because my hands were shaking. I ended up calling Dr. Wyatt as well to let him know what was happening. His voice was delighted at the news, but also concerned to when I would get help. Despite my own fears, I assured him I would be okay. I had to wait nearly an hour before Erwin was able to come home and drive me to the hospital. While I waited for him, I tried to get my shoes on, but Marcus was playing with the straps on my shoes making it even more difficult for me to tie them. I gave up and put on sandals instead.

I did not relax until we were actually at the hospital and I was given some medication to make me relaxed. It felt like forever, full of pain and my own crying out, until it was all over. Erwin stayed by my side, holding my hand and giving me encouragements. I held his hand so hard I was certain I had broken one or two of his fingers, but he did not seem to mind. I only for real relaxed when I heard the sound of my baby's cries and even more so when I held him in my arms. My fears and anxiety of his birth and his possible death went away as soon as I saw his face.

He was perfect in size and shape. His face was pudgy and still slightly red. His fingers were short and stubby and grasped at nothing. A wisp of dark hair covered his head. It was not until much later that I could see his eyes were colored more blue-gray like mine rather than Erwin's sky-blue.

I let Erwin take him from my arms to hold. Erwin's hand easily cupped the baby's head, his arms holding him supporting and gentle. Erwin rocked him ever so slightly as he looked him over, brushing a careful hand on his cheek. I wanted to continue watching this beautiful moment, but I was so exhausted, I fell asleep moments later.

It had to have been in the middle of the night by the time I awoke. Erwin was still awake, holding our son carefully in his arms. He looked up at me when I shifted my position. "You did well," he told me, reaching for my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled slightly. "Better," I breathed. Before I could say anything else, a doctor entered the room, asking for the name of the child. I looked at Erwin, hoping he had remembered the name we had chosen. My mind had drawn a blank.

"Michael Liam Smith," Erwin told the doctor, smiling slightly at my forgetfulness. The doctor looked to me to confirm the name. I nodded in response, too tired to do any other communication. I soon fell asleep again.

We were able to take Michael home the next morning after some health tests for the both of us. He slept soundly the way there and for a couple of hours once we did get home. Erwin made us breakfast as we waited for the sounds of crying from the nursery. We expected them and were not surprised to hear them shortly after our meal. Having Michael changed our entire life-style. We had to schedule things around his sleep and eating habits. For the most part, Michael did not cry as much as I thought he would, especially during the first six months. He was easy-going (for a baby) and loved things that moved and lit up.

Eventually Erwin went back to work, leaving me home alone to take care of Michael. Unlike before, I was not nervous about being left alone with him. I had a responsibility and that was to take care of my son, which I loved doing.

I continued to visit Dr. Wyatt, taking Michael with me. He enjoyed seeing Michael grow and would play with him while we conversed. I easily considered Dr. Wyatt a father-figure to myself and a grandfather to my son. Since he had never married or had children, he considered the position an honor.

When Michael was about eight months old, I took him with me on another visit to see Dr. Wyatt. However, this particular visit ended up differently than usual. Dr. Wyatt was unusually quiet during our typical chats. I asked him what was wrong.

Dr. Wyatt cleared his throat before replying. "I received a letter in the mail the other day. It was addressed to me, but it was clearly written for you." He maneuvered his wheelchair to the other side of the house towards his office, coming back a few minutes later with an envelope in his hand. "Read this," he said, handing the paper to me.

I took out the letter and read it carefully. Once I was done, I sat speechless. The only sound in the room was Michael gurgling happily in the carrier beside me as he sucked on the paw stuffed toy dog.

Dr. Wyatt looked at me gravely. "Well?" he asked after a while. "What do you think? Are you going to reply?"

I folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. "I don't know," I replied, setting the paper down carefully on the table. "I never considered it possible to go back."

Well, that's where it's going to end until next chapter. Again, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I didn't forget about you guys, I just got super busy.

I hope you guys like the new little addition to the Smith family! He will end up driving a good bit of the next chapter, meaning he's important for the next few scenes. You'll see why when I get it up.

Thanks for reading!