*Here's chapter 17! Let me know what you think?*

Chapter 17

Tris POV

"Uriah, I need you." Tris spoke softly, curled up under a thick Afghan on Zeke and Shauna's couch.

Uriah looked up from the book he was reading and smiled. "What's up, buttercup?"

Tris could feel a small bubble of laughter escape her lips. "I can't believe Marlene isn't murdering us as we speak. Doesn't she miss you?"

"Eh." Uriah shrugged, putting his book down and plopping himself on the couch next to Tris. "She understands. It's actually really funny how pissed everyone is at Four."

Tris nodded a little. "That's…that's actually what I wanted to ask you about."

"What is it? Do you want me to hurt him for you?"

"Yes…" Tris said, then corrected herself. "Well, no. Okay, I want you to hurt him, but not in the way I think that you're thinking."

Uriah smiled and he wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm intrigued. Tell me more."

"I want to be okay again, Uriah. Or, at least pretend like I am. Maybe if I pretend enough, it'll just happen naturally. But being happy won't be enough…I want…would you pretend to be my boyfriend?"

Uriah was silent for a moment, taking in what Tris had said, obviously. She thought he was going to say no, and she began to take it back, say it was just a joke when he finally spoke.

"Tris, you want to make him jealous, don't you? You want to know that he's hurting even a fraction of the amount you are right now, don't you?" It was maybe the first time she had ever heard or seen Uriah be completely serious. And it broke her heart a little more inside to know that he had hit the nail right on the head. Dead center.

"Yes." Tris whispered. "I just…I want him to hurt. Please Uriah, I'll apologize to Marlene myself if I need to but I just…I need this, for a little while. Our break-up can even be you if you want. You can make me look like the bad guy."

Uriah laughed, that deep belly laugh that made everything okay. "Please, we both know that if this ever happened for real, you'd break up with me. You wouldn't be able to handle the knuckle-headedness, despite how devastatingly handsome and sexy I am." He winked at Tris, and she couldn't help the laughter that came out.

Once they composed themselves, Tris leaned forward and hugged Uriah close. "Thank you, Uriah. Thank you so much."

"Hey," He said, "What are big brothers for? We've got to make the idiot boys who break our little sister's hearts burn."

The next day, Uriah and Tris walked to training hand in hand. They hadn't told anyone what they were doing, although Uriah planned on talking to Marlene later that day. The looks they got standing waiting patiently to take their turn were priceless. Tris refused to make eye contact with Four, because whenever she did, it just hurt more.

She could remember the fight they had. The lies come spilling out of the darkness and into the light. She could remember her world slowly crumbling around her.

But worst of all, she could remember all the good times. With Toby. With Four. And it burned. It burned like someone taking a white-hot branding iron to her heart, because those amazing nights in the field, him holding her hand, his Fear Landscape, his saving her, their kiss…she wouldn't be able to forget that. And despite all those amazing memories she shared with Toby…or Four…or whoever—he still lied to her. He still kept the truth from her.

Uriah came out from his turn in Lauren's Fear Landscape, and Tris forced a smile on her face, jumping into his arms and hugging him tightly, telling him how good he did.

"You should see Four's face right now." Uriah whispered, his arms still wrapped around her. "He's practically green with jealousy. He looks like he's ready to murder me."

Tris forced a laugh to escape, like Uriah had just said something to her that made her blush and they separated, still holding hands. They waited patiently for her turn to come around. When it was finally time for Tris to go, she let Uriah's hand go, and went up to the platform, where Lauren injected the fear serum into her neck.

She wasn't expecting the panic that arose in her when she felt arms wrap around her. A scream escaped her lips as she fought against her captors. But suddenly Tris could hear the roar of the chasm and she was hanging over it again. There was no fighting her captors, they were too strong.

Tris screamed again, she wasn't ready to die—

"Stop." A deep voice said, and suddenly Tris was back in the real world, collapsed on the floor of the simulation platform, sobbing.

She lost all sense of logic, she panicked and there was going to be no calming her down. Tris failed, she failed in front of everyone. In front of Four. Suddenly she was being wrenched to her feet. Four was shaking her slightly. His eyes were bloodshot.

"What the hell was that, Stiff?" He questioned her harshly, his breath smelled vile, but Tris couldn't breathe or calm herself down.

"I'm…I…" She struggled to make words come out, "I didn't…"

"Get yourself together!" Four shouted, shocking Tris out of her tears. "This is pathetic."

Tris could feel something in her just snap. It was brittle and harsh, and Tris wasn't sad anymore. She wasn't upset about Four's lies, although this did feel like a slap to the face after that. He knew, he knew about what happened to her and he has the gall to call her pathetic?

Tris couldn't stop the fist she had unknowingly formed from slamming as hard as she could into Four's jaw.

"Shut up." She hissed. Tris didn't want to be here anymore. She turned on her heel and left the room, trying to put as much distance between her and that ridiculous Fear Landscape room as humanly possible. She couldn't stand to be there right now.

At some point she made it to the chasm, Tris stared into the depths, the roaring water, the darkness that engulfed the bottom. She sat down, letting her feet dangle. Was this how Al felt when he jumped? Hopeless? Lost. So completely and utterly finished with life, like the people that mattered to him didn't really care? Tris thought about Al almost as much as she thought about Four. Something in Tris wouldn't let her off the hook for his death.

After Four had saved Tris from Peter, Al, and Drew, Al had come up to her, a few days later and tried to apologize, or something. She still wasn't completely sure. But Tris had yelled at him. She told him that if he came near her she would kill him. Tris wasn't sure she meant it anymore. She missed her friend.

Tris could feel the tears burning in her eyes. How had everything gone from being so completely perfect one second to being completely destroyed in the next?

Toby wouldn't have done this to Tris. He wouldn't have lied to her, he wouldn't have gotten short with her, and he never would have done what Four just did in training this morning. It was like Four was without emotion or something. Like he just thought she was a rag doll he could throw around. Like she would never get hurt by anything he said or did. That he could come crawling back and fix everything.

But there was so much to fix, she wasn't sure he could, even if in a deep part of herself, Tris really wanted him to try. Eric was right. Toby was dead. That wasn't the boy that Tris had fallen in love with in Abnegation. Four wasn't fitting wither though, becaue Tris had seen glimpses of Toby. Maybe he was something in between.

Not completely Toby. Not completely Four.

Tobias.

He could be sweet. He could be strong and stubborn. He could be kind. He could be a complete jerk. He was something in between.

Tris just wasn't sure what to do with this realization though yet.

"There you are!" Tris heard Christina squeal, running up to her and wrapping her arms around her from behind. "We were getting worried about you."

Tris looked up and saw Will and Uriah standing there as well. "Well, I'm right here. I just needed some space to think."

"Well just know you're not allowed to jumping into the chasm. We'd miss you!" Christina said. Tris could see that she tried to keep it light, but the seriousness in her eyes showed just how much this loud, sometimes obnoxious, but sweet girl cared about her.

Maybe Tobias wasn't the only person that mattered. What about these people, who cared so much about her? These people, who decided that it mattered whether or not she jumped into the chasm. They would miss her. Tris realized that if the tables were turned, she'd miss them too.

"Come on." Uriah said, smiling. "Let's go get something to eat."

Tris smiled a little. "Did you talk to Marlene?"

Uriah nodded, taking Tris' hand and helping her to stand up. "Yeah I did. It's all good, don't worry."

"Wait," Will asked, "So you guys are dating then?"

Tris and Uriah had decided to neither confirm nor deny their 'status'. That way people could assume all they wanted, but it wasn't definitely set in stone. They both shrugged, and Tris turned to Christina.

"Hey Christina, I think I'm finally ready to grow up a little more."

Christina's eyes went wide and bright with excitement. "Does this mean what I think it does?"

Tris rolled her eyes, it was now or never, and she was ready to become a new, even better version of herself. "Yes Christina."

She squealed jumping up and down, and hugging Tris tight.

"Wait, I'm confused," Uriah said, "What's going on?"

Christina pulled back and squealed excitedly, "MAKEOVER!"

*What did you guys think? What is going to happen with FourTris? Will FourTris happen? What lies in the future for everyone as the end of initiation looms? Read, Review! All my love, Rosaline*