A Reminder

The door of her apartment closes after him, and he leans against it for a moment to regain his composure. The look she gave him while he held her hand keeps replaying on his closed eyelids, the hesitancy and the affection swirling in her eyes almost too much to bear. That's why he broke contact with her, to prevent himself from doing something they would both regret later.

He thought it would be a good idea to share Royal's custody for the day. He had always wanted a dog, so it was great being able to have one, even for such a short period of time. And it had the advantage of needing to go to Beckett's apartment so she could take over their dog-sitting duties.

What he hadn't taken into account was the overwhelming rush of adrenaline that always came when he was alone with her in her home. It wasn't the first time, of course— just a few weeks back, he had gone to her place to convince her to partake in a ghost hunting expedition with him. But every time, the intimacy of seeing her in her domestic attire, so carefree and relaxed, gets to him. It's no different tonight.

He still doesn't know what possessed him to reach for her hand and draw small circles with his thumb on her skin, but he knows that the memory will probably plague his dreams for weeks on end.

And the way she said his name... In that moment, it felt like a warning, a way to express her desire to be left alone. It was his cue to abandon the apartment, but now, in the solitude of the hallway, her breathless admonition is stuck in his ears, making him question the real meaning behind it. In fact, the more he stands there, with his back against the cool surface of her door, the more he's convinced that there was more to it.

So, before he can lose his nerve, he turns on his heel and faces the entrance of her apartment. He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath, already feeling his resolve slip away. Before he can back away completely, he pushes the door open, foregoing the knocking altogether, fully aware that she hasn't had the time to lock it yet.

He strides purposefully inside the apartment and opens his mouth, ready to call her name. However, what he sees there stops him in his tracks. In front of him, Beckett is sitting on the couch, Royal at her side, licking her face enthusiastically while she laughs. The happiness and beauty of Beckett makes his heart burst with joy, and he knows that he won't say anything to disturb the moment. Not today. He doesn't want to be responsible for the disappearance of that bright smile on her face, so he reaches for his phone instead.

Without saying a word, he snaps a picture and retreats in silence. If she wasn't so caught up in her moment with Royal, she would have heard him, he's sure. So before she can discover him, he leaves.

Once again, he stops outside her door; this time to observe the picture he's just taken. The joy is evident on her face, and she looks younger, just a happy girl, no trace of the badass detective.

That's the Kate Beckett he loves. And she's worth the wait.

Years later, that's the picture of her he chooses to have in his office. He had to endure a lot of scolding- and eventually, teasing- from Beckett for his antics that day, but he still framed the picture and placed it behind his chair, so he would only need to look over his shoulder to see it. He found that it's a great inspiration for when he's blocked. That way, it can serve as a reminder that no matter how frustrated he is about his life, he still has someone to brighten his days.

Thank you to acertainzest for helping me with this little ficlet :)