"I was, am, one of four sisters. Not human, as you so adroitly concluded but bound to the human world. Our fates are apparently inextricably linked. I don't know why. Humans are awful."
"You feel that way about people, human or not." Regina pointed out with a flicker of smile so brief it might've been a vanishing atom.
"Fair enough," Vivien conceded, "But that might simply be from watching generations of men killing and being killed in every way; cruel, creative, repetitive and useless."
"You're immortal?" here the Mayor's eyes briefly transmitted surprise. Perhaps she wasn't expecting an adversary older than herself? Or maybe she just found the eternal a bit more difficult to kill.
"No. We're-," Vivien hesitated a moment, turning the truth around in her head for a safe answer, "Magical. Very gifted in healing of all kinds and age is nothing more than a type of sickness. The right magic holds it at bay; even eternally."
"You said there are four of you?" One immortal being was hard enough to imagine. Four was absolutely intolerable; logistically anyway.
"Mmm. You don't have any siblings do you?" Vivien swirled her cider.
"No."
"I didn't think so. You reek of Only Child," Lake smirked when the Queen scowled in distaste at the suggestion that she 'reeked' of anything,
"Life is different with siblings. Particularly when they're all sisters. You see, siblings – even immortal ones - have rank. It wouldn't matter if we came into existence within seconds or eons of each other. The oldest would always be the oldest and I would always be the youngest. That put me on the sidelines, capable of being near invisible if I needed to be. I observed my sisters a lot; how they managed affairs and how they navigated the human world. It was idealistic and stupid."
"Those usually go together." Regina nodded her sympathy with Vivien's feelings.
"The eldest thought on a grand scale. She wanted peace and justice for the world and she was forever getting wrapped up in kingdoms and their wars and successions. The next oldest saw just how frustrating and futile that was so she decided to just help and protect the few she could. She took in orphans, raised them as her own, taught them higher values and greater perspective than the narcissism born of mortality." Vivien found her eyes wandering to the windows, trying to picture the children that she'd helped watch and protect. It was one of the few tasks she enjoyed; playing with them in the water, taking them foraging in the woods, forever playing games and teaching them things their mother would be horrified to let them know.
"How many?" Regina gently prodded Lake's drifting thoughts.
"Three while I was still at home. Probably dozens more since. I've been gone a long time." She could see the three boys clearly now.
They'd each had a particular virtue that gave them power. The smallest one had a strangle hold on honor, forever bent on fighting everything and everyone that wronged him or any other. The middle boy was love personified and just as whimsical as that emotion dictated. The oldest had been her favorite. He was sacrifice. She'd always loved the way he would put his younger kin's safety and needs ahead of his own desires. If only she could've learned from him, perhaps she never would've ended up where she did.
"What about the other sister?" Regina took a box of tissue and extended it. Vivien puzzled at the gesture until she touched her cheek and found it damp. Damnit. She did NOT want to cry in front of Regina. The Queen was obviously trying to give her a way to gracefully change subjects. Shaking her head and privately threatening to rip out her eyes if they dared betray her again, she resumed,
"Well, she didn't have the head for politics or the patience for children. She got involved on a more individual level. Actually, she would've fit in great here with the 'true love conquers all' cult. She married a human."
"I doubt you attended the wedding." Regina observed the way Vivien's mouth turned marriage into a curse.
"I was long gone by that time. I saw it from a distance." Lake shrugged. It was the least of her regrets.
"Protectors of justice, love and innocents. Where does that leave you?"
"Patron saint of screw-ups, I suppose," Vivien chuckled at her own fate, "I was the one that couldn't do anything right. Not according to them, anyway. Older sisters are bad enough but immortal ones? Forget ever catching up. I would never be as powerful as them. They were more practiced, trained, experienced and knowledgeable. I would never measure up."
"What happened?" Regina leaned forward, sensing they'd reached the crux of the story.
"I wanted to cheat, to find a shortcut that would help me catch up to my sisters. I wanted to make them see me as an equal. I was tired of being ignored," Vivien clenched her empty glass, remembering the burning, frustrated pride. It had been so infuriating being ignored or worse: dismissed.
Why, child, you're crying! What could hurt such a perfect thing as you?
"A powerful sorceress had been seeking our home for some time. She knew about us because my oldest sister had meddled in her kingdom. We usually stayed hidden from prying eyes, greedy power-seekers and the like. A few good cloaking spells and they'd be on our doorstep without knowing it,"
You must be far from home. Even when it's right here, this isn't where you belong, is it?
"I thought any sorceress powerful enough to scare my sisters might be able to help me. I was adept at healing arts and magic but I wanted to know more. I wanted powers my sisters didn't have. Power that would make them listen to me. She could teach me. In exchange for some unique services,"
It will take a lifetime to teach you what I know. You may have all the time in the world but I don't. Do you have a spare life?
"So I became her apprentice. I promised service to her for the length of a human lifespan and in that time I would use my magic to keep her young and healthy as well. I chained myself to a monster but it was years before I understood it. She taught me magic – such magic, Regina! Dark and powerful, frightening and unstoppable. The kind of magic that fights nature itself and bends the world to will. And do you know what happened?"
There was a pause as Regina realized the question wasn't rhetorical.
"I can guess."
"With every spell and potion, every page and magic word, I lost a little of myself. Every dark spell stole of piece of me. I ended up completely in her control. And I did things . . .," Vivien repressed the wave of nausea, "I wasn't being dramatic, Regina. I don't have a soul anymore. I gave it up with every bad act and betrayal of my nature and she took it in small doses. Every wrong decision, selfish deed and capitulation yielded up its fragments until she got the whole thing. I used to imagine it bottled in her sanctum but that would be too cliché. I'm sure she keeps it in herself somewhere."
Regina meditated in the pregnant silence. Her pursed lips tested the flavor of the words rolling around in her mind. She analyzed the story, looking for the holes. Vivien poured a fresh glass of cider, hoping it would steady her nerves. If Regina found the gaps, she might also be able to find the truth. This was the moment of challenge, to let her know enough without too much.
"Where is this mistress now?"
"On an island where she keeps safe haven. I've been in exile there as part of her retinue for many, many years now. She sits in a secure refuge, shrouded in mists unapproachable by mortals and plots and waits. Or she was, 28 years ago. I have no idea what has happened in the years since I left. I don't even know how I ended up here."
"Do you think she sent you?" Regina went straight for the fear that cut deepest to bone. Vivien took a deep draught of cider and focused on not biting through the glass.
"I am truly terrified by that possibility. People here, Regina, they curse you and call you 'evil.' They have no idea what true evil looks like. It's not motivated by revenge, it doesn't focus on people as individuals. Evil is too selfish even for vengeance because that would credit another being with worth. People are annoying fleas or amusing toys, distractions to while away boredom. I would not ever wish StoryBrooke to meet real evil."
Regina's eyes flickered; her thoughts going inward, backward. She must've known her own instance of evil. Was there a shadow cast over her as well? Perhaps StoryBrooke had been her escape too.
"So even if you aren't a threat, you might be the messenger of one."
"I am doing my damnedest to find out how I got here, to make sure I'm not still a pawn in a sick, dangerous game. If I find out, think or even suspect that she's got designs on this place? I will ask you to end me. Once and for all. I will not return to that life."
Regina's brows rose a fraction. She didn't seem entirely comfortable with the prospect of being the Dr. Kevorkian of magical life. But the trust and determination in Lake's voice wouldn't allow negotiation.
"I would prefer it not come to that." The Queen finally admitted.
"Me too."
Regina's eyes flitted to the wall clock and she sighed. She still didn't look convinced. The information Vivien offered was little more than an olive branch, a promise that she was willing to reveal all but couldn't for fear of the consequences. Based on the story she'd told, Lake didn't doubt that the best option in Regina's mind was simply to walk her across the town border and be done with it.
"I have to meet Gold," Regina got to her feet, "But I still don't believe you're safe to have wandering around the town. Immortal mages with suicidal tendencies can be hazardous to public safety."
"I guess being a responsible mayor got pretty ingrained, didn't it? Tell me where you want me to go." Vivien studiously gazed at the glass in her hand, awaiting pronouncement of the sentence. It would be better for everyone. If she couldn't remember her life then she couldn't use her powers; couldn't hurt anyone.
"Nowhere. Stay here, in this house. I want to keep an eye on you. I don't know when I'll be back but I will know if you've left." Regina walked out to the entryway and put on her jacket.
"Regina-," she was actually going to argue. She was going to try to convince the Queen that it would be better to get her out of the picture now. Apparently survival instinct had gone right out the window.
"We will continue this conversation when I return. There are still a number of questions to answer." Regina cut off the protest. She opened the front door and arched one eyebrow of pointed inquiry at her guest.
"I'll be here." Vivien confirmed. The gently sigh of the closing door sealed her in, alone with her thoughts. Who knows for how much longer. But I will be here.