Chapter Twenty
Vivien wasn't entirely sure what comprised the duties of the sheriff of Storybrooke but she was reasonably sure guarding prisoners wasn't in the job description. This was emphasized to her throughout the day as a parade of dwarves took turns sitting in the office and watching her. By the early afternoon Lake had decided that every one of them had a clinical disorder in need of medication.
The annoyingly jolly whistling of her current sentry was mercifully interrupted by an argument working its way towards them. The chaos of voices and footsteps were indecipherable.
"You just have to answer some questions!" Emma, frustrated as usual.
"Which I could have done in my home or office." Regina, naturally.
"It isn't your office anymore." Charming, living up to his name.
"Are you sure we're safe bringing her here? Maybe we should get Grumpy and the others." Snow White, the voice of worried reason.
"She isn't going to hurt anyone!"
"Don't be so sure, Miss Swan!" Regina was the first through the doors, her proprietorial air crackling with outrage. Emma was right on her heels, looking ready to strangle her with her bare hands. So much for the truce.
"Not helping yourself, Regina." Snow tried to calm both women as she and David both struggled to keep up.
"Hey! What's going on?" Vivien was at the bars, trying to make herself heard but the four voices were warring at top volume. Even Jolly (or Perky or whoever the hell he was) had stopped whistling and left the room as quickly as possible.
"You can't seriously go in alone with her." Charming was trying to pull rank on his daughter.
"Don't start with me."
"David, she's the sheriff."
"How long do you intend to waste my time?"
"HEY!" Lake grabbed her breakfast coffee mug and shattered it against the bars. That brought a moment of silence as the pieces spun on the floor.
"Lake? What are you doing here? Are you people on some sort of campaign to harass all the enchanters in town?" Regina's righteous indignation stoked higher.
"Separate case. David, please just get her seated." Emma groaned, running one hand over her own weary face as she crunched across broken ceramic to the cell. Regina marched herself to the interrogation room before Charming could try to escort her.
"Sheriff, what's going on?" Vivien spoke as quietly as possible; adding to the air of intense agitation wasn't going to help.
"Archie is missing. We're trying to find him." Emma answered just as quietly. It wasn't lost on either of them that Snow was standing nearby, arms crossed nervously but eyes intent on watching them.
"And you expect to find him somewhere here? In the interrogation room, perhaps?" Lake wasn't fooled. Swan looked worried and guilty at the same time. She was being backed up to a wall.
"It's a bad situation, Lake. We're just trying to figure out what happened." The sheriff shook her head, unable to fight the direction events were flowing. The woman had investigated and locked up her own mother – not that she knew it was her mother at the time. She was going to follow procedure.
"She couldn't have had anything to do with it!" Vivien insisted. Regina didn't need this. If the whole town turned on her every time something bad happened it was going to push her past the breaking point. Couldn't they see she was trying to not be the villain anymore? Their previous conversation snapped into sharp focus. It wasn't that Regina couldn't change; it was that they wouldn't let her.
"Then she has nothing to hide." Emma concluded simply and turned away. Snow gave Lake a final, curious glance before following her daughter.
And I thought I was going to be bored. She sat back down on her bunk and waited in the silent room.
Vivien spent the following hours trying to read everyone's minds by the way they walked through the sheriff's office. The most she could perceive was heightening states of panic and anger. Regina had spoken with Lake at the cell on her way out, just long enough to chastise her for fighting with Gold as well as not doing more damage when she had the chance. Swan and her parents were back and forth without any more explanations.
Lake knew nothing was improving when school got out and Henry came straight to the sheriff's office full of hope and saw the expression on Emma's face. Whatever information she'd found, it wasn't what she wanted.
"Just wait here, kiddo. We have to make a couple more visits." Swan was trying to put on a brave face. It was the sheer falseness of it that gave away the intensity of her worry. Henry was much better at courage. Not until Emma had left once again did he wander over to Vivien at the cell and let the fear show. He glanced over his shoulder at the current dwarf snoozing in a chair.
"I think my mom did something bad." He finally broke the silence, his confession a whisper. No child should have to worry over their parent.
"Which mom?" Vivien demurred from the uncomfortable subject. This was dangerous territory.
"The scary one." Henry pointed out the fact as though it were dead obvious.
"Again, which one?" Lake smirked a little now, gesturing to her captive state. Regina wasn't the only woman in town with control issues and a temper. The rebuttal earned a small smile from the worried boy.
"Do you think she hurt Dr. Hopper?" his fingers picked at the edge of the bars as though he could rub away the years of fear staining the iron. Lake looked at her hands while contemplating the answer. Could Regina hurt Archie? Absolutely. Can and do, however, are very different matters.
"I think you know your mom better than anyone, Henry. She would do everything to keep you safe and nothing to hurt you."
"What if she thought he was a threat?" Henry must have had some insight into the rather adversarial relationship between his therapist and adoptive mother. Shrinks and mothers had been fighting since Freud.
"A woman who has dealt with witches, dragons, armies and Mr. Gold? You really think she's going to be scared of a cricket?" Vivien packed as much incredulous sarcasm into her words as her voice could carry. Everything she'd heard of, about and from Regina pretty well convinced her that nothing scared her. Except losing Henry. What that fear might motivate her to do was a bottomless hole of questions.
Fortunately, Henry didn't think of that and his smile suggested genuine relief. Whatever had happened, he trusted his family to fix it all. It was a conviction that Vivien didn't entirely share. The most pressing worries set aside, he pulled his backpack around to open the zipper. Vivien saw the edge of a familiar hard cover book. She'd only ever seen it from a distance but she knew the color and texture of the binding immediately.
"I thought we could look at it together?" he offered, sliding the fairytale volume out of his pack and holding it up. Vivien stared, incredulous.
"It's that easy? I get thrown in jail trying to find out what's in there and you just bring it for me to see?"
If she'd felt stupid and impulsive before it was nothing compared to the swell of miserable idiocy washing over her now. She wasn't sure if the best option was to beat her head into a wall or just climb under the bed and hide until the shame passed. He'd meant it – all she had to do was ask! She could've avoided all this trouble if she'd just thought like a good person instead of a villain.
"Well, there is a catch." Henry admitted as he went to grab his mother's chair and roll it over to a position right next to her bunk. He could sit beside her with only the bars between them.
"What it is it?" The thought of a price made Vivien feel better. Not even heroes did the right thing for free. She could make a bargain for the book and its information and her efforts would then be justified.
"If you see your answers, will you tell me?" Henry slid the book through the bars, holding it out for her to take. He positively radiated trust. The boy had to have some kind of magic in him. No ordinary human could manage such faith. No humans deserve it either.
"You're the expert, Henry. I don't think I'll find them without you." She scooted over as close to the bars as possible but pushed the book back through. He deserved to take the lead. Henry nodded understanding and cracked the book open in his lap, making sure she could see each page as they began scanning the stories.
"So, you're not from the Enchanted Forest but there are other people in here that weren't. Jefferson is the Hatter from Wonderland." He explained as he ran his finger down the table of contents.
"Yeah, I know that crew. They're not from my world." Vivien shook her head.
"Then where are you from?" Henry looked up at her, the curiosity both innocent and suspicious at once.
"I know where I'm from, Henry. That isn't the problem. I don't know how I ended up here." She could just tell him but it would undoubtedly influence his view. She needed pure fact, not confirmation bias.
"Ok, then it goes back to the curse I guess." He thumbed forward in the pages. He must've known every story by heart. Ever character, every adventure, every illustration -
"Wait! That picture!" Vivien's hand shot through the bars to catch the fleeting image before it was gone.
"The tree?" Henry looked at the drawing that nearly had claw marks in it where Vivien's nails had grabbed.
"That tree – it was really in the Enchanted Forest? It isn't just some random illustration?" What were the odds that an artist would just happen to draw something so identical to reality? She knew every whorl and knot in its aged bark. She knew exactly how to squint her eyes to see a face.
"No, it was real. That was how my mom came here. Geppetto turned it into a cupboard that kept Pinocchio and Snow's baby safe from the curse."
"Cupboard? They cut it down?" she could still see the face, even in the drawing. It was the same.
"Well, yeah. They had to carve it. It was the only magic tree of its kind."
"They cut it down. Oh, damn me. They cut it down." Vivien covered her mouth, not sure if it was a scream or a sob she had to stifle.
"Viv? What is the tree? What was it?"
"They killed him, Henry. I didn't want him hurt. He was supposed to be safe! He just had to be out of the way! He wasn't supposed to die!" Had he felt anything? Would it have hurt when they severed the roots? Could he have simply slept through it all?
"What? Who died? The tree?" Henry leaned forward, trying to bring reality back to her. Vivien pulled her eyes from the face in the wood that now looked like it was screaming. She focused on Henry. He was getting scared. She had to explain before it got worse. Where to begin?
"Not the tree. It was magical because it was under a spell. I used the tree to imprison someone." This was going to be hard. She had to admit what she had done not to just anyone but to a boy who believed in magic beyond anything else.
"Who was it?" Henry was steeling himself.
"The greatest wizard that ever lived. I locked him in a tree because I couldn't kill him." Vivien felt irony stabbing through her words. Couldn't kill him but still managed to get him killed.
"A wizard? You fought a wizard?" Henry was almost bouncing in his seat, eyes starting to shine with excitement. He was very quickly getting wrapped up in the wrong idea.
"No. I tricked him. He actually never called himself a wizard. He was too good a man. He always just said he was a magician."
"A magician," Henry repeated, the word apparently stirring separate connections, "A magician trapped in a tree? You don't mean –,"
"I knew you'd figure it out." Vivien sighed. The boy was well-read and just plain too damn bright.
"They killed Merlin the Magician?!" his sheer horror was heartbreaking. Lake let her head fall back against the wall. The grief of her mistake was already unbearable. What was coming next was going to be worse.
"No, Henry. I think I did."
"How? Why?" the inevitable questions followed and they weren't going to go away. She said she'd tell him her answers. No backing out now. Probably best if he heard the whole story anyway.
Vivien sat in the stern of the small sailing craft. She wasn't sure if they'd been on the water for hours or days now but the dawn light ahead of them showed a golden coastline. She glanced over one shoulder at her companion. The old man hadn't said a word the entire trip. She could feel the flux and ebb of magic around and through him during the night – he'd been concentrating tremendously. Maybe it would've been easier for him if she hadn't been stealing his power for so long.
"Where are we?" she finally called to him as he adjusted the sails. He struggled with the ropes but managed a coy smile.
"I told you – across the sea." He maneuvered their small boat up a large tributary that scythed inland.
"We sailed in total blackness, Master Merlin. There was no moon and no stars for navigation. We weren't traveling by the laws of nature and I know we didn't cross any sea I've ever seen before." She dangled her fingers in the river water as they sailed upstream. The feel of it was clean but warm – spring fed instead of ice melt.
"You wish to dive in even now, don't you? The water calls you." Merlin's observation changed the subject.
"Water calls all living things. Without it everything dies." Vivien demurred but pulled her hand from the river as though she'd been caught doing something forbidden. Merlin had been trying to divine her origins for some time now. She never should've soaked up his lessons so greedily, the aptitude gave her away.
"But water also kills; by storms, floods and depths it has slayed more men than war." He was baiting her. Mental games were his second favorite.
"All of nature is dangerous but water is merciful. It is quick, it is indiscriminate and it is clean – even those lost are carried away and buried without ever needing a shovel of earth."
"You have no heart, Vivien." Merlin chuckled at her pragmatic answer. It was his usual retort; when he couldn't refute her logic he simply condemned it as callous. After so many months of these arguments she was beginning to think he was right.
They sailed in silence for most of the morning, enjoying the creeping warmth of the rising sun and the sounds of a forest waking on either bank. Unfortunately, the quiet only served to amplify the noise inside Vivien's own mind. She was running out of time. The Mistress was growing impatient and couldn't be stalled much longer. Vivien was loath to return to her service. At least Merlin was kind and gentle as a master. He was patient as a teacher and considerate in all their affairs. He often changed his form depending on what he thought she needed – a grandfatherly figure one hour of the day and a strapping companion the next.
The longer she delayed, the worse it would be. The Mistress' anger was already bubbling and would grow stronger with every passing day. If left simmering too long it would explode and destroy everyone in its path – including herself and Merlin. She could at least spare him that.
Vivien steeled herself to speak but was interrupted by the magician's happy cry.
"There! Just as I recalled! An idyllic spot; safe harbor from the raging river. A perfect place to rest." He pointed to a large inlet where the river water flowed into a protected grotto and seemed to magically still. The moment the vessel coasted onto the calm water everything became tranquil, even the noise of the rushing river was muted.
"What is this place?" Vivien asked as she stepped onto the grassy soil. There was wonder in the air here, they could both feel it. Merlin breathed as deep as he could hold, the very essence of the place enlivening him from within.
"It has many names though what the natives call it I don't know." He walked to a moss covered log and sat, gesturing for his apprentice to do the same.
"So you have been here before."
"Once, many years ago I was here briefly. I knew that to linger or return would mean never leaving."
"Yet you come now?" Vivien couldn't get a grip on the moment. Why were they here? Why now? Why had he brought her along? Did he have some final trick she hadn't surmised?
"Because now I am ready for my rest."
"I don't understand." Her fingers dug into the moss, trying to hold her balance as the world began to spin. He knew. He had to know.
"I didn't understand either, at first. I couldn't understand why you were giving me back my second sight when it had been gone for so long." He looked at her like a parent awaiting confession. Vivien didn't know just how much she had to confess yet so she kept silent. He was right, she'd stolen his foresight before any other ability. If she hadn't she never would've been able to take anything else.
"I didn't want you to see my purpose." She looked away from his patiently inquisitive eyes. The placid blue was unnerving.
"Dear child! It hardly needs second sight to realize you were a spy for Morgana." He chuckled, a wheeze behind the laugh belying the age of his lungs. He convulsed into a fit of coughing, Vivien instinctively taking his arm and rubbing his back to loosen the pain in his lungs. He could only change his appearance, not what lay beneath.
"Drink." She opened her flask and held it to his mouth. The pungent wine would oil his throat and the herbs would open his lungs. She'd seldom been without the medicine in her years of service to the magician.
"You gave me back my foresight some days ago," Merlin resumed after his fit had calmed, "I thought at first it was your desire to torture me; to make me suffer in the knowledge of a future I couldn't change."
"Master Merlin-," her protest was cut off by the preemptive flutter of his hand. He took a final swig of wine before passing the flask back to her.
"Then I realized your true intent. You wished me to stop you. You showed me this fate in the hope I could stop it." Merlin took her hand now, squeezing it with fatherly affection. Vivien gazed at his fingers. The joints were bulbous and gnarled, the bones themselves scrawny. Bulging veins crisscrossed like vines climbing a wall.
"You have the power. Magician, wizard or sorcerer, by any title you're the most powerful in the world. You can prevent this." She didn't lift her eyes from his hand. It seemed so obvious. As easily as he could deflect and repel the ravages of age he could – if he chose – defy the dictates of fate; even the schemes of Morgana. Except he hadn't chosen to do so.
"Fate will not be denied, Vivien. It is inevitable and I have postponed mine long enough. Besides, terrible things are coming to our kingdom; terrors and catastrophes even I cannot prevent. I do not wish to let these old eyes see the fall of everything I have worked for."
"I don't want to hurt you." She had to raise her eyes to his face, he had to see she was sincere. She'd lied to him for so long now, he deserved whatever truth she could give.
"I know. That's why I brought you here. Your mistress will only know that I am gone and out of the way of her plans. What must happen in our own kingdom, let it pass over me. Here I can simply rest."
"What is it that is coming, Merlin? Why are you willing to give up fighting?" Vivien had never known the aged magician to back away from any challenge. What future could make him hang his hat and lay down?
The old wizard didn't answer at once. He gazed out at the peaceful grotto and tilted his head to listen to birdsong as though it held answers.
"You are fond of him, aren't you? The child of Arthur's blood." One teasing eyebrow arched as his eye glanced sideways towards her. Eternally young and indeterminately aged, Vivien was stunned to realize she was blushing at the observation.
"Morded," she corrected, "He carries tremendous pain within himself. But he suffers it better than anyone I have ever seen."
She hadn't confirmed or denied Merlin's assumption but she had definitely answered.
"I have seen much of him in my visions. He shall be Arthur's fall. That is right because sins must be punished. But do not deceive yourself, my dear. You will not be able to save him from his own fate."
The warning made her heart twist as though a hand were squeezing the muscle. She'd kept herself separate from mortal affairs for so long. She'd believed she was above such petty concerns, superior to the transient emotions of men. Yet in this body, this servitude, she found a sensation of pain tearing from her chest throughout the rest of her bones – like shattering without ever being broken. But if the Mistress had taught her anything, it was how to endure pain without even a grimace.
"And what do you see of me and my future?" she teased light-heartedly, grasping for a change of conversation.
"I see that what happens here today will grant you freedom but not by the means you think." Merlin smiled. He had the most irritatingly knowing smile when he disclosed clues. You could never be sure if he was simply conceited about his knowledge or secretly concealing extra information.
"I will never be free." The words tasted bitter on her tongue, saying out loud what she'd known for years now. She'd thought that she might find her freedom through this mission, through Merlin. Perhaps he held some secret spell, some all-powerful concoction? No. She'd begged, seduced and tricked away every shred of power the old Mage possessed. Nothing could buy her life back. She'd had to give up her dreams and now, after today, she would have to give up hope.
"You will be free, Vivien," he clasped both her hands in his own, "But only when you choose it. Remember: freedom comes from courage. You will be free when you find the strength within yourself."
"I am not strong, Master Merlin." Vivien shook her head and looked away, humiliated by the admission. She had given up her incomparable position, her nearly unlimited power and for what? For a liberty that had bound her in heavier chains.
"You will be," Merlin promised quietly before gently kissing her forehead with the tender affection of a patriarch, "Now, shall we get this done?"
Vivien could only laugh, brushing an errant tear from the corner of her eye as she watched Merlin rise and stretch. Just another task to be finished, nothing different here today.
"About here, I think. It's a good spot. I can hear the birds and the water." Merlin stood a few yards into the forest, head tilted back as he listened to the sounds of tranquility on either side.
Emotion rose in Vivien's throat as a choking knot she couldn't swallow. No words would slip past it. Silently, she raise her hand, bringing vines and roots creeping across the forest floor towards Merlin's feet like a legion of snakes. They crept up his body, slithering and entwining around his legs before engulfing his torso. As the greenery climbed up his chest and over his shoulders Vivien finally found her voice if only for a moment.
"I'll see you again, Master Merlin." She called. In those words she promised him no harm, she wished him a quiet rest, she hoped to be present when it was time for him to emerge again back into the world and bring forth his wonders. His response was swallowed by the engulfing foliage but when Vivien approached the green tree trunk she could clearly trace the contours of his smile. The extending branches might have been his own exultant, outstretched arms as they suddenly blossomed all over in flower. The white petals gently floated and danced around Vivien on the zephyr breeze.
As she walked back to the boat with a wistful smile Vivien couldn't help but think this was perhaps the most magical place she had ever been.
Note: Of the multiple versions of Arthurian legend this is based primarily on H. Pyle's collection with some Tennyson.