I woke up and found myself lying in an empty bed. I looked around myself and slowly began to pick together the pieces of my my memories from the previous night. The wedding, the preparation, the guests, Severus…"Oh fuck…" I looked around myself once again and realised where I was.

It was Snape's apartment, or house or whatever. I quickly got out of the bed and began looking for my clothes. It was all lying on a chair folded in a way I was sure not to fold during all the happening the previous night. I shook my had and began to dress up.

There was note under the clothes.

I searched around the house but there was no sign of Severus. I took out a piece of parchment a wrote down a simple note.

I guess we should talk. Meet me at Leaky Cauldron at 6 pm.

I left it on a coffee table in the entrance hall and made my way out of the building. I didn't know the suburb well so I just quickly apparated to my apartment. Oh what did I do? What the hell was I thinking?

There were two letters for me. The first one was from Ginny, she thanked me for all the help and asked whether I was all right as she couldn't find me for the moonlight picture taking. I had to smirk a bit at the sentence: "I hope you took the presence of Snape well, I know it couldn't be easy for you." "You have no idea." I said to myself.

The other one was from Dean, he wrote he was coming tomorrow and wanted to meet me as soon as possible. Oh fuck. Dean! How could I forget? How can I meet him now? I began freaking out. No, there was no way I could meet with Dean, but of course I had to meet him!

He told me he loved me! That he adored me and all of that silly romantic stuff, what's worse – I told him I loved him back. Yes, of course I do love you, it's great you're back' By the way – I slept with Severus last night, I hope you're OK with it. I'm a bit confused now and I'll need some time to fix it up.

I smirked at my thoughts, rather smile than cry, I thought.

What am I gonna do?

I have to sit down now. What do I actually feel to Snape? Yes, we spent the night, but still, we didn't talk much during the evening except those arguments we threw at each other. So why in the hell did I do it? I've spen quatre of a year abroad, not getting a single note from him since our last meeting which didn't end up well, really, and still I come back and the first thing I do is getting in the bed with him?

How did he do it? Or was it really him? Wasn't it what I actually wanted? And what about Dean? What do I feel to him? To the boy I have spent so much time with recently and who swore to give me his heart if I was willing to accept it. What do I feel to him? I told him I loved him, but if I did, how could I do what I did?

Does this all mean I actually and unconciously love him? A Man I don't even call by his first name? A man I hardly knew and who keeps on pushing me away? God, I'm such a mess.

But I need to sort it out, I have messed it up enough so far, I can't keep on doing like this, have to explain it – not just to myself, but mainly to the people I've been recently playing with, or maybe who were playing with me? Whatever. I can't keep on hurting them, hurting Dean, he deserves better than this.

I wrote a quick message to Dean that I wasn't sure whether I could make it to meet him tomorrow but I would let him know as soon as it was possible. I also sent a message to Ginny wishing her a beautiful honeymoon and apologising for missing at the picture. Than I went to take a shower and prepare myself for the evening, it was going to be a long evening.

I came to the Leaky Cauldron soon, I found an empty table in a corner and sat there. I couldn't help looking at the watch, the time has suddenly stopped.

I have drunk several butterbeers, but he still didn't come, not even an hour after our meeting time. Maybe he didn't get my message? Maybe he didn't want to make a big deal from it, just stupid mistake? Maybe...

I paid for the butterbeer and left the pub heading home, it was time to get to normal life.