I knew exactly to where I would apparate. I wiped one tear away from my wet face, which didn't help much because two more rolled down.
I didn't knock at the door. I tried to opend it with simple Alahomora and when it didn't work I used several other spells to open it, some of there were more destructive than the others and with help of one kick I got inside. I smahed the door open and entered the hall.
"You bastard. Where are you? Too scared to see me?" I didn't know from where was this ire coming. How that I didn't realise how much I loved and needed my baby?
"I don't care you don't want to see me. I might be stupid and naive but I'm not a doormat!"
I continued through the entrance hall when I finally heard footsteps coming down the staircase.
"It's very kind of you to enrich me with your lovely presence," he said with a smirk and a dose of sarcasm, "but weren't you taught to knock? Not talking about the use of polite words..." But he suddenly stopped when he stood right in front of her seeing how devastated she was.
"You! You..." I spited the words and took steps towards him quickly so we were just inches from each other. I pushed him. He didn't expect my strenght and so he smashed the wall. "What do you think you're doing? "
"You tell me! It was you! You were the one who came to me! You were the one who took me here! Why didn't you come? Why? Was I so meaningless for you? That you couldn't spend two minutes with me in talking?"
He used my moment of weakness and grabbed his wand from his pocket and suddenly I was the one at the wall with his wand pointing at me.
"Is this all about me not coming to Leaky Cauldron? Because your ire seems to be a bit delayed."
I hit him with my fist trying to cause him at least some of the pain I was feeling. "I would have loved you. I was just confused, I didn't know if I wanted her...because...because it was just a one night stand and you didn't care. I didn't know if I should keep my baby and now she's gone! She's gone before I could apologise her for my behaviour, for my hesitating!"
Severus looked at me in total shock, watching me falling apart, desperately trying to take a piece of him with me down there.
"You are telling...You were pregnant?"
I nodded as I was slowly falling down on the floor. I rested my had against the wall and released all the sobs. I couldn't breath, I just let every emotion go through my body again and then slowly leave.
He quickly hid his wand and sat on the floor next to me. He took my hand and pressed it. I looked into his eyes and saw something I have never seen in them before. It was sorrow, so deep I could have drown in it very easily. And then one tear he tried to hold on so much escaped and then others.
"Tell me," he whispered pleadingly. "Tell me about her." He could hardly talk. "I'm not telling you about her, I'm going home!" I tried to get up now but was too weak.
"If you have cared at least a bit, I would have told you everything, you could have been part of her life but that's all just meaningless now." I tried so hard to hurt him in the way he hurt me, but he didn't seem to be botheres by that. He knew me too well and he also knew how people who were in pain acted. And I was in so much pain.
"So then I'm gonna tell you about her," he whispered softly. "she would wisest from the whole class, as you always were. She would take messy hair after you and she would be stunningly beautiful as you are." He added softly. I didn't break the eye contact with him, only nodded.
He then leaned closer to me and took me into his arms and he cuddled me like a baby. "I lost her. I lost her Severus." I whispered crying. "Please forgive me. You haven't even met her. I didn't give you a chance...I just thought that when you didn't appear, that you didn't care for me at all. I'm so sorry I doubted about my love to her. I do love her."
"I know." He whispered into my hair. "You were right, it's all my fault. I didn't come, because I believed you'd be better without me. I didn't believe, you could really love me, I was too scared. To scared of falling in love with you, because you were the first person ever since Lily that got so close to me. "
I held on him even more tightly.
"I understand that you hate me."
"I couldn't hate you even if I tried. But I hate life for taking away from me the best part of me."
I lifted my head which was buried in his chest and gazed into his eyes for a moment before brushing my lips against his softly. He kissed me back hungrily and I reseted against his body in his tight hug once again.
"I have always cared about you." I avoided the slimmy tricky word "love" succesfuly.
"I have care about you since the first time a saw you at the battle anniversary. I did like you at school, but you weren't that attractive to me then." He teased me a bit.
"You!" I said angrily but had to smile. The first smile in a pretty long time.
"Come, I will take you to the bed so you can rest now."
"I have to return home, there's no way I'm staying here tonight." I argued stubburnly.
He only smirked. "And from all I'm not going to your bedroom!"
"So you aren't. I'm taking you there."
He stood up still holding me in his arms carefuly.
"Cheater," I sighed but was too eshaust to continue arguing with him. "Just promise me not to leave this time."
He stole my lips once again.
"I promise."