Kendall lay in the dark, she didn't want to move and she didn't want to think, everything hurt so much.
The wall she had so carefully built up around herself as she got over the death of her husband had been shattered the moment he returned. A living breathing miracle, who brought back the love and warmth and family she hadn't even been aware that she had lost. The reunion had been the most wonderful moment in her life and now he was gone, now she had nothing. Her defences had long ago fallen to rubble; she had no strength left to rebuild them and no will left to try. She cocooned herself in sorrow and refused to let anyone in.
Kendall began to hate her house. Every room, every item of furniture held a memory of Zack. Kisses on the couch, children's games on the carpet, barbeques in the garden. In the end she could no longer bare to step outside her bedroom door. No longer bear to do anything other than curl around Zack's pillow breathing in his scent and wishing his return had been nothing but a dream. Wishing that her heart wasn't shatter beyond repair.
Jackson had come to talk to her. He talked softly and sadly and held her hand but she didn't hear a word he said. All she could hear was the gunshot; all she could see was her husband fall and in that instant knowing he was dead. She refused to respond to Jackson, never uttered a word. He sat beside her in silence for a while before kissing her forehead and leaving a quietly as he had come.
Ryan stopped by. He tried to talk to her about grief and loss but in the end he just sat at the end of her bed crying. He called out Greenlee's name. He cried until he had no more tears to shed. Kendall let it wash over her. She couldn't share his grief. Her own was so over powering. She lay still and silent and let him cry. Maybe if he filled this room with enough of his own sorrow it would take away some of her own. When he left, his tears all spent, Kendall never moved, her heart just as hollow and empty as before, nothing had changed.
Opal marched into her room; trying to make Kendall get to her feet, get out of bed. Kendall didn't respond. She let her body flop on the bed and wouldn't allow herself to be moved. Opal told her to think of her children. But Kendall knew she was. Her children couldn't see her like this. She was no longer their mother, just some husk who no longer had a heart to beat or the hope to smile. Opal was persistent. She begged and she cajoled but Kendall made herself deaf to her words. She only wanted to be left alone. Opal too cried by Kendall's bedside, cried for her best 'gal pal' who's life was hanging by a thread, but Kendall couldn't allow herself to hear her. How could she think of her mother when all she wanted to remember was Zack?
Why wouldn't everyone just leave her in peace so she could hold onto her memories of Zack!
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