Bianca lay somewhere between asleep and awake. In the dark behind her eyes she saw her sister weeping over her husband's corpse; she saw her mother swathed in bandages, boxes of lights and wires the only thing keeping her alive; she saw Marissa still as death a trickle of blood running down her forehead… Behind her eyes all she felt was despair.

Bianca was disturbed by the sound of nurses moving around the room. There was Jean, all motherly smiles and no nonsense and Brittany the trainee, very young and always fighting twinges of embarrassment. Bianca smiled politely as they set to work. She knew they would be touching her body, changing her diaper, washing her down ready for visiting hours. The nurses moving a body which to Bianca, could just as well be made of straw and not as her own flesh and blood, so separate she now felt from it. Bianca wanted to just close her eyes again - if she couldn't feel it, it wasn't real. Instead she made small talk while she waited for the humiliating ritual to be over.

She starred up at the view of white ceiling tiles and quite frankly she was sick of the sight of them. She was still waiting for David's miracle, but the miracle hadn't come. She had another operation scheduled for tomorrow; a new experimental drug was already dripping into her veins. She wondered at what point she should give up. At what point was she going to have to accept that this was now her life…

…

"Well hi sweetie, how are we doing today."

Opal breezed into the hospital room like a breath of fresh air.

"I've been better." said Bianca. She tried to make her statement light but her voice sounded as flat as she felt.

"We'll have none of that, thank you." said Opal, standing over the bed so that Bianca could see her clearly. After the blandness of the ceiling Bianca was almost dazzled by the combination of blue and red in Opal's coat. "You need to get your smile all shiny and bright – I've brought you some special visitors."

Bianca's heart almost missed a beat.

"My girls!"

Opal's warm smile was the only answer she needed.

Opal disappeared from sight and Bianca braced herself. As much as she so desperately wanted to see her children she wonder just how scary she looked lying in this hospital bed, a brace on her head like a crown of thorns.

She heard movement at the door. The nervous shuffling of little feet.

"Hi sweeties is that you?"

"Yes mommy." Miranda's voice sounded nervous, but it was such a wonderful thing to hear.

"I know I look a little scary right now." said Bianca, straining her eyes to try and get a glimpse at the precious faces she hadn't seen for so long, "But it's all to help me get better."

"Why don't we get closer so mommy can see you." said Opal.

The shuffling of feet came closer and although she could see Opal's smiling face all she could see of her children was the very top of Miranda's head.

"Can you lift them up?" Bianca asked, "I can't…"

She didn't need to finish the sentence; Opal scooped up Gabby and sat her on the bed.

"Hi baby!" said Bianca. It had been weeks since she saw her children, she was sure Gabby had grown.

The bed shook a little as Miranda then climbed up beside her sister, a nervous smile on her face. The bed shook some more and Bianca was surprised to see AJ grinning at her too.

"Hey buddy." she said delighted to see the little boy who had so recently become part of her family. "It's great to see you. It's great to see all of you."

Bianca was almost crying she was so happy.

"We missed you too, mommy." said Miranda, her eyes taking in the drips and machinery that Bianca was attached to. "Can you really not move anything?"

"Not right now, but I'm not giving up. I've got surgery tomorrow and I'm on new drugs and I'm not ready to stop hoping just yet."

She realised this was true. This morning she had been more than ready to give up on everything. Now, with her children all round her, she knew she had no option but to keep on fighting for however long it takes.

Gabby was staring at her a little wide eyed.

"Am I that scary looking?" Bianca asked.

"I think you look cool." said AJ.

"Cool?"

"Yeah like a robot or something."

"Well that's good to know." said Bianca unable to keep the amusement from her voice.

They sat in silence for a moment. AJ began to fidget looking around the hospital room.

"What do you do all day?" he asked.

"Not much." said Bianca. "They put the radio on sometimes but mostly I get to stare at the ceiling all day."

All three children glanced up as she spoke.

"That must be really boring." said Miranda.

"You have no idea." said Bianca, playfully rolling her eyes "I have counted every tile and every hole in every tile; 63 tiles, each with 1493 holes in. Apart from that one over there." she said, glancing to an odd tile in the right corner, "Which only has 441 holes in it. Do you know how many holes that is in total?"

Miranda, Gabby and AJ's all shook their heads.

"93,000 give or take a few."

The kid's jaws dropped.

"You must be really bored, mommy." said Miranda.

"I really am."

Then Bianca laughed, the first time she had laughed since the accident. Then she started to cry.

"Don't c-wy, mommy!" gasped Gabby and she moved to wrap her arms around her mommy's neck, Opal caught her just in time.

"Honey, remember we have to treat mommy gently right now, like a precious china doll. And as much as we would like to cuddle her to bits it can't be done."

"I'm crying because I'm happy." explained Bianca. "I haven't been this happy in a long long while and it's because I'm seeing you."

All three children were grinning proudly now.

"And although you can't hug me." continued Bianca. "I wouldn't be opposed to a kiss at the end of my nose."

Gabby giggled, swooping in and kissing her mommy's nose before letting Opal pluck her from the bed.

"I love you, mommy." said Miranda most sincerely.

"I love you too." said Bianca, "You're being such a big, grown up girl for me you make me very proud."

Miranda smiled and kissed the tip of her mom's nose.

AJ grinned nervously, turning a little red and then kissed Bianca too.

"I hope you get better soon." he said quickly.

"Thank you AJ." said Bianca her smile wider than it had ever been, "I'm sure to, after all those wonderful kisses."

…