Part Three

I don't know who to trust

Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cos I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you

Tension is building inside steadily
Everyone feels so far away from me.
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me
Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me

Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cos I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with youI'll take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cos I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you

Lucius arrived back in his study looking most dishevelled and even more disgruntled than he usually did.

"Problems?" I asked, suppressing a smirk as he shot me his filthiest look.

"Nothing I can't handle," he muttered sullenly, heading purposefully towards the set of crystal decanters on the sideboard. Dr Southard and I exchanged looks, both agreeing that it was probably in the best interests of everyone not to ask too many questions. It was, as you can imagine, incredibly tempting though and I felt, as much as I am loath to admit it, for it is extremely callous, a certain amount of pleasure at seeing Lucius struggling with control.

Settling himself back into his chair, Lucius took a long, sloe drink, then said to the ceiling, "I think it would be best if you didn't see Draco today, Sev."

A pang of irritation jolted unpleasantly through me. "Why?" I demanded, glaring indignantly at my host. Then, more childishly," But you promised!"

"Don't whine, Severus, it doesn't suite you," said Lucius dryly and, rolling up his sleeve, he presented to me what seemed to be teeth marks.

"I didn't know you kept vampires," I said conversationally, leaning forwards to get a better look.

Lucius raised an un-amused eyebrow. "Wit has never been one of your stronger points," he observed with a look of utter contempt, "and you sound quite ridiculous when you try."

"And as ever, you astound me with your delightful manners," I muttered under my breath. Dr Southard concealed a smile behind his hand.

" Look, I'm sorry that you have had a wasted journey," offered Lucius as a sort of half-hearted apology. "But it really isn't the best time at the moment. Draco is already far too over excited from yesterday and I'm afraid that you shall only make it worse. I'm sorry Severus, but that's my final word on the matter. You're welcome to stay for awhile on the off chance that he calms down, but really, I'm only looking out for your personal safety."

"You are making him sound like a rabid dog!" I exclaimed, finding it exceedingly difficult to believe what I was hearing.

Yes, it was true that Draco had never been the most stable of people, but it sounded as though he had gone completely mad. I was sure that it was simply Lucius over-exaggerating things, but going also by what I had heard from Dr Southard, perhaps it was true.

'But why?' I wondered, 'What has happened to push him that bit too far? Is it my fault?'

"If it's any consolation," Lucius aid in a way which immediately assured me that it wasn't, "I haven't told Draco that you were coming, so it's not as though he is going to be disappointed."

I stared at him incredulously. "You haven't told him? You were just going to let me waltz back into Draco's life without even telling him? Why would you do that?"

"It was going to be a surprise," Lucius explained flippantly. "Although it may not have necessarily been a nice one."

My eyes narrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know perfectly well what it means!" Lucius gave a dry, humourless laugh. "Come on Sev, stop acting so damn innocent. You simply cannot expect things to just go back to how they were. Things have changed. People have changed."

I made an unconvinced growling sort of noise in the back of my throat, making my host literally throw up his hands in despair. "Listen, if you don't believe me, go and see for yourself! But you're the one who'' have to clean up the mess afterwards."

Fine," I said quickly, not waiting for him to change his mind.

"I umm…I think I ought to come with you," Dr Southard put in hastily. He made to follow me, but I stopped him. This was really something I had to do on my own.

"Don't bother," I told him, although it was really meant for Lucius too. "If I get rabies, I promise that I shan't blame you."

Approaching the door to the rooms that had once been mine, I felt a rather overwhelming combination of excitement and apprehension.

'It'll be fine,' I assured myself as the brass handle twisted in my palm. 'What could possibly go wrong?'

The door moved easily as I pushed against it to let myself in and I was able to close it just as easily. The last thing that I wanted was to startle Draco and cause any unnecessary tribulation.

The first thing that I noticed as I took a couple of seconds to absorb my surroundings, was that the curtains had not been set alight, but the room still looked as though a war had taken place there; chairs had been overturned, torn up paper littered the carpet and bottles of ink had been tipped over. Chaos. Utter chaos.

Then I saw, as my eyes lingered over each part of the classroom, Draco. He was staring out over the extensive gardens, back towards me and seemed quite oblivious to my presence.

Slowly, cautiously even, I walked towards my godson, keenly aware of everything both Lucius and Dr Southard had told me. I hadn't a clue what I was going to say to him. What could I say? Would I apologise? Or maybe try to pretend that nothing had changed between us? I had been so focused on just getting to the stage where I could see Draco, nothing else had even crossed my mind.

Unfortunately, I didn't even get the chance to think of something then, because suddenly a piece of torn up parchment rustled beneath my foot and within a second Draco was on his feet, body rigid with defence. For a moment, I don't think he recognised me, for when our eyes met, his seemed blank and confused, as though he were not really seeing me at all.

He'd grown, I noted, rapidly during our time apart, although he was still small for a boy of eight and the added height only served to emphasise how pale and thin he had become.

Almost without meaning to, I held out my hand, palm up, similar to how one would entice a stray cat, wanting to draw the little boy to me, to protect him. Instantly, Draco's eyes focused on me and he let out a piercing shriek, which left my ears ringing, and he shied violently away from me.

"Stay away!" The panic laced within those two words did not surprise me in the slightest.

"Draco, it's okay," I said as gently and as calmly as I could manage. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I realised only after I had spoken them, how ridiculous those words sounded. Merlin only knows how many times people had said that to Draco, only to go back on them again. Draco, probably having thought the same thing, winced and retreated back a little further.

"Please Draco," I murmured, crouching down on my heels, "we have to talk. Just give me a chance to explain. Please Dragon…"

At this, Draco gave another shriek, more hysterical than the last. "No!" he screamed. "You can't make me talk! You can't make me do anything! No one can! Just stay away!" He stood and galred, hands clenched into fists by his side.

"You can't just push me away," I told Draco quietly, looking him directly in the eye. "Too much has happened for me to allow you to do that."

A pained expression crossed Draco's faced and I noticed tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"But…but why now?" came the whispered response. "Why not…why didn't you…" But he couldn't get the words to form.

Sensing Draco's momentary lack of defence, I took two swift steps over to him and, hoping to shock him into responding to me, gripped him by the shoulders, not tightly, but enough to make him flinch.

His reaction can only be described as 'fiery'.

Draco screamed and twisted hard, fighting passionately against me. It was a struggle not to let him go; he kicked and struggled, all the while screaming for me to let go. But I would not. I wasn't prepared to give up so easily. I knew that I could hold out much longer than Draco could, although I hated having to resort to a test of physical strength, as it seemed highly inappropriate given the situation. But what had to be done, had to be done.

The frenzied, uncontrolled way in which he had initially fought, eventually gave way to a more weary, half-hearted attack and Draco stopped screaming. Tears trickled unchecked down his cheeks as tiredness overcame him and, soon, he stopped struggling completely.

It was only then that I drew Draco close and held him in the way he needed to be; my arms wrapped tightly around him as he wept into my robes.

When all the tears had been cried, Draco simply let me hold him, his body stiff and unforgiving.

"I brought you a birthday present," I told him, when I couldn't bear his resentful silence any longer. I reached into my pocket, having to twist my arm in an awkward position to reach it, and held out the tiny model of a dragon, which I had purchased a week ago in Diagon Alley. I had learnt during that time, not to keep scraps of paper in the same pocket, as you could be sure that they wouldn't be there the next day. The Antipodean Opaleye strutted across my palm, it's pearly scales glittering in the sun-light, then, with a flap of miniature wings, it sailed across to alight on the back of Draco's hand.

"Do you like it?"

Draco made a non-committed sound, which I interpreted as 'yes, he did like but, didn't want to admit it'. Which was good enough for me.

"So…how has everything been?"

Attention fixed on the Opaleye, which had just sent out a jet of brightly coloured fire, Draco shrugged.

"I hear you've been having problems," I continued, ignoring the fact that I was more or less having a single sided conversation. I felt Draco's body stiffen. "Do you want to talk about it?"

At this, Draco leapt to his feet, anger rekindled. The Opaleye, taking fright, hovered nervously in mid-air.

"No I don't want to talk about it!" Draco snarled, teeth bared. "You can't make me! I never wanted you to come back! I hate you! I hate you!"

And before I could do or say anything, whipped around and ran away, away from me, the Opaleye flying after him.

A/N: Ta daa! -thinks of something interesting to say...but can't- Meh! Hope you like the chapter, I'm on a role so the next one shouldn't take tooo long -fingers crossed-

Lily xxx