"I take it that it didn't go quite as well as you had hoped?"

As a rule, I despised sympathy in all its sickeningly patronising forms but, for a moment, I was grateful for it. At least, it was better than the smug 'I-told-you-so' that I was sure to get from Lucius.

I shrugged and sighed, "I suppose you might say that.".

"Ah well," Dr Southard said as he bent down to start tidying up the chaotic mess which had once been a room. "You could always try again tomorrow. I'm sure everyone will have calmed down by then."

I smiled weakly, thanking him for his (although somewhat ineffective) attempt at making me feel better.

"I only wish," I continued, getting down on my knees to help. "That I knew why Draco is being like this." I looked at Dr Southard trying to get his attention, but when he did look up, it was only for the briefest of seconds.

"Please," I implored, "If you know anything…"

"Mr Snape," came the response so sharp, it made me jump. "It is none of my business, nor is it yours, to know every detail of how the Malfoys choose to live. Anything that we do know, however, should be kept to ourselves." He hesitated slightly, before saying in a low voice, "I know you are only doing what you think right, but ultimately, you are just causing more trouble, for yourself and for Draco. I gather that isn't what you want?"

I shook my head, my eyes fixed on a rather interesting dust particle.

"Then, just leave it," Dr Southard continued. "It isn't worth it."

I excused myself quickly after this exchanged, not exactly trusting myself to speak. The worst thing was, I knew that he was right. I was just making things worse for Draco. But, even though I knew this, I still refused to admit it to myself.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where he belongs, where he belongs.

I left Draco alone after that; partly because of what Dr Southard had said and partly because it was blatantly obvious that pushing Draco any harder would ruin everything I hadn't lost already.

It was difficult though. There were times when I would catch Draco looking up at me, as though he wanted to say something, but the moment I looked back, his eyes snapped to the ground. It was like a game, each of us waiting for the other to speak first, to break the oppressive silence that hung between us.

Surprisingly enough, I found solace in Dr Southard or 'Call me William'. It was nice to have somebody who seemed to understand what I was talking about without being overly patronising or sarcastic as Lucius was. He sympathised in all the right places, but was also able to explain where I was going wrong.

"Draco'll come around eventually," he said. "Just let him do it in his own time."

So I did.

For two, solid weeks I barely even acknowledged Draco's presence. I hated myself for it and I could sense Draco's hurt but it was, as William convinced me, for the greater good. And he was the professional.

June 20th 1988

It was one of those nights where I had been trying so hard to fall asleep with no success, that I had made myself too tired to sleep. Oh the irony…

It was about three o'clock in the morning and, when finally I could feel a glorious nothingness descending on, I heard the small click of my door being pushed open and a set of feet padded their way in.

I lay still, pretending to be asleep.

Draco, for it couldn't be anyone else, paused at the foot of my bed, trying to determine whether or not I was asleep. I could hear him sniffling quietly in the dark. Then suddenly, I felt the mattress sink slightly beneath Draco's weight as the little boy climbed on top of the covers and curled up by my feel, like a cat, one hand holding on to my ankle for security.

'A bad dream, probably,' I assumed vaguely, yawning. 'I'll talk to him in the morning…'

But, by the time I had woken up the following day, Draco had slipped away without a sound.

This little routine became a regular occurrence and an unspoken arrangement between us. It was one of those things where words are just simply not necessary; I understood that, although Draco wanted to be close again, he still didn't trust me enough to say anything and he knew, by my not saying anything about it, that I wasn't going to push him to do anything that he felt uncomfortable about.

And yet, I was still so worried. Something was troubling Draco deeply, something that I had no idea about. I couldn't talk to Lucius for obvious reasons and whenever I would try to voice my concerns to William, he would just tell me that it wasn't my problem and I shouldn't involve myself too deeply because of what happened last time.

Unfortunately for some and lucky for others, I had used up the last ounce of self-control during those two weeks and, whilst I was recharging so to speak, I became rather impulsive.

June 27th 1988

As I heard Draco approaching my bedroom once again, I lit my bedside candle with a flick of my wand and sat up, determined, this time, to get some answers.

Draco froze as he stepped over the threshold, one hand still on the door-handle. He made to back out, to run away, but I spoke out before he could do so.

"Draco, come in please. I'd like to talk to you."

The boy bit his lip, glancing guiltily up at me. He didn't move.

"Please," I repeated, patting the space next to me in, what I hoped was a friendly and not-in-the-least-bit intimidating way.

Draco eyed me suspiciously. "Why?" he whispered. "Are you angry with me?" He licked his lips nervously and began to stammer, "P-please…I d-didn't think you…minded. You never…you never said anything…I-I-I thought it was okay…please don't be…don't be a-angry with me…"

"I'm not," I assured him, trying to smile. "I promise you I'm not. I'm just worried about you, Draco. I want you to talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

At my words, Draco shrank back. "Nothing Sir," he mumbled, staring at the carpet. "Nothing's going on. I-I just…I just…" There was a long pause as Draco mustered the courage to say what was babbling up inside, then suddenly; "Why did you go?" he blurted out. "I don't understand and you never explained. And why did you stop writing? Did I do something to make you cross? 'Cause if I did, I'm really sorry and I never meant to, I swear, but please tell me if it's my fault. Please…"

"Draco!" I exclaimed, jumping out of my bed. "For Merlin's sake, breath! Now listen to me," I knelt down and put my hands firmly on his shoulders. "Anything that has happened, whether it be about me or your father or anybody, nothing is your fault. Do you understand? You're just the one who happened to get caught up in the middle of a lot of conflict and a lot of difficult people."

Draco's lip trembled and tears gathered in the corners of his silvery eyes.

"I know that it isn't fair," I continued. "None of this should've happened and I am sorry that you've had such a miserable time. Now, I am not going to start making promises that I can't keep; that will only make things worse for both of us, and I'm not going to say that things will start getting better, but what I can do is to promise you that if you have a worry or something is scaring you or if you want to talk about anything at all, I will listen. I might not be able to help, or offer any advice, but I shan't tell anybody and I shan't tell you to be quiet. I promise that you can trust me. Do you understand?"

Draco shook his head slowly, pure confusion set deep into his eyes. "But…but you went away. You didn't even say good bye. Then y-you stopped writin' t-too and…and I d-don't know why. Why should I trust you when you lied to me?"

I opened my mouth to deny his accusations; to say that it wasn't my fault and I was forced into doing what I had done…but the words choked me.

'Not again' I told myself. 'Only the truth now. No more lies.'

"I was wrong," I told Draco, taking the boy's small hands in mine. "I have done some terrible things and I have treated you appallingly. But I never meant to, Dragon. You have to believe that, if nothing else. I have only ever tried to make things better for you, I just…I just made a lot of stupid and careless mistakes, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

Draco stared at me, unsure whether he ought to run as far away from me as possible or to cling on to the shreds of what we had before, of what he so desperately craved.

"You wouldn't come back," he whispered resentfully, yet he did not snatch his hands from mine. "Even when I begged you, you still wouldn't. I begged you, Sir!"

"I'm here now…" I stated uselessly, feeling unbearably small.

A sigh slipped passed the boy's lips and he looked down. "Yeah…now,"

"What?" I demanded, sensing that he was holding something back/

Draco flinched as the word came out sharper than I had intended.

"N-nothing…"

"What are you so cared of?" I appealed, gently turning his pale face towards mine. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

"You aren't staying," said Draco, turning his attention obstinately to his bare feet. "I know you're not. So what's the point? You can't help."

"Can't help what? Please tell me,"

"Stop it!" Draco cried suddenly, clapping his hands over his ears. "You promised you wouldn't do that! You said you wouldn't push me! Stop it!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry," I felt as though I was dealing with a very delicate time bomb; any wrong move could result in a terrible explosion and then it would all be over. No more second chances.

I turned away from Draco and sat back down on the edge of my bed, kicking my heels against the wood. Draco regarded me apprehensively, before slowly joining me.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, allowing Draco to determine what he wanted to say.

"I'm…I'm glad that you came back," he mumbled eventually, glancing up at me, almost shyly, out of the corner of his eye. "Even if it's not for always…I'm still glad."

I smiled. "Me too."

:-)

Tu aime? Shnapey plushies to reviewers and a weak promise to update soon lol! But don't hold your breath, I'm on holiday for a while, but I've had a lot of inspiration from DH, so a couple of one-shots might be up in the next few weeks! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!

-ahem-

Lily xxx