Warning!!!!!! Ultra-Angst!!!!

"Draco?" I tugged the sleepy boy's limp form onto my lap and smoothed his damp hair away from his clammy forehead. "You have to wake up for a while," I murmured as Draco gave a little moan of protest. "Just for a little while whilst we get things sorted out. Then you can sleep for as long as you like."

"Nooo…" Draco cried out pitifully, twisting around to hide his face. "I can't…please don't make me…"

"Here," suddenly, my mother appeared- a beaker clasped in both hands. "I mixed it with honey and water," she explained as she knelt down and pressed it into my fingers. "It's very diluted so it is vital that he drinks all of it, otherwise it won't be effective."

Sluggishly, Draco lifted his head as I accepted the cup and held it out for him. "Dragon, I need you to drink this. Can you do that for me?"

Uneasily, Draco nodded and slowly, with me helping him not to spill, he managed to consume the entire concoction.

It took only a couple of seconds for the potion's heady effect to kick in. Draco's eyes became glassy and he gave a little twitch as though a bolt of electricity had shot though him.

"It's working," my mother sighed, relief obvious in her tone. Then to Draco, "How do you feel?"

My godson looked at her somewhat vaguely and frowned. "I-I dunno…strange."

"Can you remember what happened?" I asked, setting the empty vessel down upon the floor. "Do you remember why you're here?"

Draco nodded, eyes set on the chair opposite. "Yeah; Father wanted me out the way 'cause…'cause of what happened with Dr Southard."

"What did happen with Dr Southard?" Draco looked up at me, eyes wide- silently pleading me not to ask. "Draco, this is important. You have got to tell me what happened."

"He was angry at me," Draco whispered, eyes going cloudy at the memory. "Really angry 'cause he knew I kissed you…he didn't like that. He said it was a dirty thing to do. He said that you'd expect more. But I told him you didn't. I told him what you said before but that made him even madder…"

I met my mother's eyes- I had never seen that look on her face before. And, to be honest, there was a slight pang of jealousy that it was for Draco and not for me.

"Did he try to take off your clothes?" I pressed.

Draco gave a little nod, flushing heavily with embarrassment. "Yeah…he was going to but then he 'sploded. I-I dunno what would've happened if he hadn't. 'sploded, I mean."

"Do you know why that happened?"

Draco faltered, "I don't know…but I think it may've been me, 'cause my head went all tingly just before it happened. I didn't mean to though, I swear! But he was going to…he was going to…like he done before only more 'cause he was angrier than he was before. And…and I got scared 'cause I knew he was going to hurt me and I thought that you were going to come and stop him like you said you was going to, but you didn't. Not for ages. And he knew that I'd told you!"

Draco's voice had been increasing in pitch steadily and was now so shrill I could barely make out a word he was saying.

"Why'd you tell him, Sir?" he raised his teary face to mine- eyes bright and confused. "Why'd you let him come for me when you said you'd stop him?"

My discomfort was becoming increasingly harder to bear as both my mother's and my godson's eyes were fixed accusingly on me.

Ignoring Draco's question for the time being, I swivelled the boy around and looked deep into his eyes.

It was clear that the small amount of Veritaserum in Draco's body wasn't going to be effective enough to coax him into telling me willingly, and there was no way I was going to make the dose stronger, so I would have to combine what little there was with another method.

"Draco?"

He regarded me miserably; shivering in his torn pyjamas.

"Do you remember when you met that man with the red eyes?"

A sharp intake of breath told me exactly how much Draco remembered that night. "Yes. I remember."

"And do you remember when he went into your mind?"

"Mmm hmm…" Draco watched me with growing trepidation; milk teeth, once again, gnawing on his bottom lip.

I picked my words carefully, "Would it be okay," I said slowly. "If I did that? Would you let me into your mind?"

The moment the words had left my lips, Draco shrank back, shaking his head rapidly. "No! Please don't! I don't want to remember…" he was crying in earnest now; big tears rolled down his cheeks and his hands were pushing against my chest. "I just want to forget…I want to forget about everything!"

"It isn't going to hurt," I tried to assure him. Draco looked at me sceptically, so I continued, "I know that it did last time, but remember when you said that something got broken when he went into your mind? Well, that means that it will be much easier and much less painful than it was before. And besides," I added, "I promise that the moment it gets too much, we'll stop."

"Why d'you want to anyway?" Draco whispered hoarsely. "Why's it so important? What do you want to know so bad?"

His questions- so innocently spoken- caught me off guard and I faltered a little; I had (foolishly) assumed that Draco knew what I was trying to ask and was just unsure of what to say or scared of the repercussions of finally 'revealing' what had been going on. But, it appeared that I had been more nervous of actually asking the questions than he was of answering them. God, I was such a great adult!

"I need to know exactly what Dr Southard did to you. I know that it is difficult for you to talk about it, especially after everything that has happened tonight, but if we just get this over and done with as soon as possible then you never have to think about it again. And besides," I smiled sadly, smoothing Draco's hair away from his face. "There may be certain…effects in the future. And, as long as we know what has happened, then you will be able to get help."

Draco hid his face behind trembling fingers, then gave a little nod of agreement.

My mother rose then, drawing her dressing gown tighter over her shoulders. "Would you like me to hold him?" she asked. "It may be easier."

"Yes. Thank you."

We exchanged places; Draco settling on my mothers lap without a sound. They looked very nice together, I realised- his almost shining paleness contrasting beautifully with her dark complexion.

Kneeling up, I gently tugged the little boy's hands away from his face, with a murmured, "Draco, look at me."

He did as I asked, unshed tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. My mother's hand came up to caress his hair, willing him to relax and make the invasion easier to bear.

As carefully as I could, I pushed into Draco's mind. Luckily, the small amount of Veritaserum had relaxed his wits enough to make it relatively effortless although I felt Draco flinch when I had breached his defences.

Draco's voice- whispered and distant- echoed in my ears as though he were a long way away.

'Everything was bad when you left. Even before Dr Southard, even when you was still writing to me…I hated it. It wasn't even 'cause of Father- he was nicer for while- but it was just so different without you there. I had so much I needed to say that I couldn't say to Father and when I wrote it to you...I didn't really understand what you were saying. Father was so angry when he found out about the letters. He forbade me from talking about you and he ripped them up. He told me to forget that you were ever here. But I couldn't.

'I did try, though. To stop thinking about you, I mean. But I worried about why you had stopped writing back to me so suddenly. I thought, maybe you had found another job with another boy who was better and cleverer than me. Or you'd figured that it was too much bother to look out for someone like me. Half of me wanted you to come back and half of me was scared that, even if you did, it wouldn't be the same. And I got angry 'cause all the things you said and all the promises you made…in the end you didn't mean then and then I'd be angry at myself for letting myself believe that you were for real.

Then Father told that there was going to be a new man to teach me and he wasn't going to stand for any nonsense and I'd have to work twice as hard to catch up with everything I'd missed with you and if I didn't…

'So Dr Southard came. He was alright at first…Nice. Patient. Like you were…I didn't want to like him, though. I thought if I didn't talk to him and didn't do anything he told me to, he'd get really mad and hurt me so then I'd tell father and he'd send him away and then he'd make you come back 'cause I wouldn't be good for anyone 'cept you.

'But he didn't. He was nice to me even though I was horrible to him. And I started to like him even though I'd promised myself that I wouldn't. I think I sort of pretended that he was you and I started to trust him and like him like I liked you 'cause I thought if I wished enough…he'd turn into you.

'It was really good for ages…but I 'spose I should've known something would go wrong. It always does in the end. I wish he'd just done something big right at the beginning…or anytime, I guess. It would've been better 'cause then I would've known for definite.

'But then…he got a bit funny. There was this time- the first time something happened- I wasn't feeling so good that day. Father had got angry at me in the morning and I couldn't concentrate properly on what Dr Southard was telling me to do and I kept getting things wrong. But he didn't help me like he did before but he wasn't getting cross at me neither. I got scared 'cause I thought he was going to tell on me and then Father would be even angrier at me but Dr Southard…he said that he wouldn't tell on me to Father if I let him kiss me. So I did 'cause I thought it would be better than getting hit by Father.

'Then he started doing it every time I got something wrong. Even if it were just little things. He'd say that, unless I let him kiss me, he'd tell Father that I'd done something really really bad. I didn't like it, but I let him do it. I 'spose I shouldn't have but I didn't know. After a while, though I tried to make him stop 'cause I hated it and he was doing it more and more. I said that if he made me kiss him, I'd tell Father. But Dr Southard said that Father wouldn't believe me and he'd think I was lying. And even if he did believe me, he said, Father would know that I'd let him and Father would think I was dirty.

'He stopped being so nice as well. If I tried to push him away he'd get really mad and start putting his tongue in my mouth and he'd bite my lip to make it bleed. He stopped waiting for me to get something wrong too, so I never knew when he was going to do something…

'I guess it was better then 'cause at least I could avoid him when there wasn't lessons. But one day…he started to come into my bedroom at night. It was always not long after I had gone to bed so that I wasn't asleep. At first, I tried to pretend that I was. Asleep, I mean, but then he'd just sit on my bed and I'd know that he was there and I wouldn't be able to sleep then and I'd know that he knew I was awake really so there wasn't any use in pretending.

'He didn't like me talking to other people neither. He said they didn't like me and if I tried to talk to them they'd be horrible to me, so it was for my own good if I stayed away from people. That's what he said at my birthday party. I did try to, but then Theodore Nott came and started talking to me and wouldn't go away. I could feel Dr Southard watching me too and I knew I would be in trouble later if Theo kept trying to talk to me. So I hit him. Father was furious with me after, but at least I hadn't gotten into trouble with Dr Southard.

'He started talking about you a lot as well, about a week before my birthday. He wanted me to tell him everything about you and why you had left. When I said I didn't know, he kept going over all the reasons you may've not wanted to stay. He said that maybe you were bored with me or you thought I was a horrible, ungrateful person 'cause I never gave you anything back for all the nice things you did for me. But the worst thing was that he kept repeating all the things that had been going through my head and, now somebody else had said them, I started to believe them.

'He made me believe that the only reason you would ever come back to me was 'cause I owed you. The day you came back, before I saw you, we were s'posed to be having lessons; Father wanted to test me that week, but all he talked about was you. I know now that he knew that you was coming back, but he didn't tell me. He kept going over and over all the things he'd said and if I ever saw you again, I wasn't to have anything to do with you 'cause you'd try to hurt me.

'I got angry…or scared or both, I don't know. I did something to him, but I can't remember what. I was so angry at you and him and upset, I can't remember what happened. But he went to fetch Father and Father knew that something was wrong and he did try to be nice, really he did, but I was still…I don't know…I panicked and I bit him. We had a bit of a fight and loads of things got knocked over.

'And then suddenly you were there! After all that time of thinking about it and wanting you back and hating you and everything that Dr Southard had said, you were suddenly right in front of me. And then you spoke to me, just like to spoke to me before; all kind and wanting to help. I wanted so bad for it just to be like it was before, but I didn't know that you weren't going to try to…I was so confused; I remembered all he promises you made and all those times you comforted me and then I remembered what Dr Southard had said 'bout you.

'When you touched me, even though it wasn't in a bad way and I didn't mean to, I suddenly got really scared of you and I screamed. I wanted to rum away from you. but you didn't get angry or try to make me do stuff like Father or Dr Southard would've done. Even though I hurt you, you still tried to fix me. I wanted so bad to tell that I'm sorry and everything what had happened, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

'Then you started to ignore me completely, as though I wasn't there at all. And I could see you making friends with Dr Southard. It felt as though you'd gone away all over again, only this time I couldn't pretend that you missed me 'cause I could see you right in front of me, only you were looking right though me. He used to go on about that, when he'd come into my room. It was even worse than when he'd kiss me.

' I came into your room one night, after Dr Southard came to mine, just to see what would happen. Just so that I could be sure. I figured, if he was right, then it would be worth it if you would stop ignoring me. And, despite everything, I still felt safe with you. I was happy when you didn't do anything, so I started coming more, before Dr Southard went to my room

'Last night, when you turned the light on…I was so scared that you were going to make me do stuff or-or you was going to tell Dr Southard. I felt like I was going to be sick and even though you were acting nice to me…I still wasn't sure. And I thought you was still angry at me 'cause of what happened before with Father and I wanted to ask you why you stopped talking to me but I was scared that you would shout at me. I wanted to tell you what was happening to me and I was going to, really I was! But then He came in…and you sent me away…

'He was so angry when he took me back to my room. I hadn't never seen him like that. He kept yelling that I was a dirty little liar and if I ever spoke to you again he would kill me. He put a silencing spell on me then and took off my clothes. I-I tried to fight him but I couldn't. He was too strong. He did something to me…I dunno exactly what 'cause I closed my eyes. But it hurt, Sir. I haven't never hurt like that before…I thought I was going to break and I wanted to scream but I couldn't 'cause of the spell…there was blood after and he said something had actually broken but he fixed it with magic so that nobody would know…and nobody would believe me if I tried to tell. He said that I was his now, that I belonged to him.

'It happened again…when you took me home. I thought everything was going to be okay, now that you knew. I thought you was going to stop him. But he came up and he knew that I'd told you. He said that it didn't matter anymore, he said that Father would send me away 'cause I was dirty. He said it would be worse now that I'd told 'cause Father wouldn't love me or want me in the house…

"And he was right!" Draco wailed, repelling me suddenly from his mind. "After everything, he was right! Father doesn't want me anymore!"

I was very shaken; partly from what I had just witnessed and partly because the bond had been broken so suddenly. It took me a minute or two to gather my wits together and process all the information I had just received.

Everything was starting to make sense and link together. I could fully understand, now, Draco's behaviour towards William and me. I could see exactly how William had tricked both Lucius and myself into turning a blind eye to what was going on.

And…oh god! The worst thing that could have possibly happened had happened. And, if Draco's magic hadn't suddenly kicked in…it would've happened twice.

My eyes drifted towards my little godson weeping, inconsolable, into my mother's dressing gown as she cuddled him. How would he ever be able to get over this? You read about children committing suicide after something like this has happened, not being able to live with the memory. Or even the parents killing themselves because they realise how badly they have failed their child.

'I should've known…I have failed him…again.'

Silently, I got unsteadily to my feet and took Draco's sobbing form from my mother. He immediately latched onto me- wrapping his arms around my neck and laying his head against my shoulder.

"I'm so proud of you for letting me do that," I whispered into his hair. An uncomfortable lump had risen into my throat, making it difficult to swallow. "You've been so brave."

But Draco was not to be comforted. Not this time. I knew from previous experience that Legilimensy could leave a person feeling very emotionally fragile, even at the best of times. And I could only imagine how completely shattered Draco was feeling, now that everything had been brought back to the surface.

"I think I'm going to take him upstairs," I said to my mother, who nodded understandingly.

"Your room's exactly how you left it. I haven't been in and moved anything around."

I gave her a small smile of gratitude, then started towards the door when her voice made me stop,

"Sev…"

"Yes?"

She hesitated, looking at the pitiful bundle in my arms, "Look after him, won't you?"

"Of course."

Draco refused to be put down when we had reached my room. He clung to me as though the world would end if he let go. His grip was surprisingly strong for one so small for his age and I had no choice but to sit on the edge of my bed and just cuddle him until he calmed down.

But, poor thing, he was absolutely convinced that his father had abandoned him and there was nothing I could say to convince him otherwise. No matter what I said, he just cried and cried and showed no signs of stopping.

"Oh Dragon," I murmured, resting my cheek against the crown of his head. "What can I do to help you? How can I make it stop hurting?"

"I-I want to go h-h-home!" Draco wept, frail body convulsing with tears. "I-I want m-m-my Daddy!"

A/N: Happy Christmas people!!!! Sorry about the exceptionally late update, but I hope the length makes up for it :-) Wow! Holidays! I love holidays Hope you all have a good one!

Love Lily

PS- Reviews makes LadyLily happy::Hint hint::