YAY YAY YAY CHAPTER 20! :D

Holy crap, we've come a loooong way. You honestly have no idea how much you guys mean to me. Thank you so so so so so much. I wish I could give you all cupcakes.

Anyway, here we go...ENJOY!

Love you guys.

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And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

-Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls

"Give it back, Ellie!"

She let out a laugh, shaking her head and holding out the book to read. "What do we have here?" she teasingly asked, paging through it. "Is this a secret diary?"

"What? No!" he said quickly and stalked around the table to catch her. "Now, Ellie, kindly pass me the notebook." Just as he jumped in, she teleported to the living room area, where Clint, Bruce and Natasha were watching TV. Steve sprinted towards her, causing her to hurriedly hop onto the couch to get away. Clint let out a loud, obnoxious groan and tried to push her off, but she jumped off too quickly.

"Any form of love is beautiful," Ellie started reading aloud. She even put on her deepest voice, trying to mimic Steve. She scrunched up her face and looked at him. "Damn that's a block of cheese," she laughed.

Before he could respond, Clint did. "C'mon, knock it off you too. Nat and I are trying to talk," he complained, folding his arms. It was like talking to a couple of kids. Steve followed her tracks over the couch and as soon as he tried to lunge towards her, she disappeared to the other side of the room, still flicking through his book. The only time she stopped was when she stumbled across one of his drawings. Her smile faded as her finger brushed over the portrait of her.

He'd obviously drawn it a while ago –even before they got together. She recognized herself in the picture, wearing the dress from her 'Welcome' party back when she first joined. When she turned the page, it was another one –only of her at the carnival, laughing at something. The next one was of her in her pajamas, sitting on her bed, and the next was of her sleeping, hugging her pillow on her stomach.

"What the hell?" her lips motioned, then suddenly, she hit the ground with Steve, who had finally managed to tackle her down.

"Give it. Now," he told her and she willingly gave it back. He released her and the both sat up, looking at each other. "Are you done?" he firmly asked her, frowning.

"Yes, stalker."

She knew then that she had gone too far. Steve stood up without saying a word and started walking. Walking to his room. Walking away from her. Her small laugh had faded. The amusement inside had been replaced with a growing sense of embarrassment. Not for herself, though –for him. He had obviously kept the drawings to himself for a reason, even though she couldn't quite figure out why.

Silence drew around the room like an atomic bomb. Clint's mouth had been molded into an 'o' shape as he glanced at her from the couch. Natasha went still; but her pursed lips and raised eyebrows told Ellie everything.

"Steve," she swallowed. He didn't stop. In a second, she had gone from sitting on the floor to in front of him. "Whoa, I'm sorry," she said softly, shaking her head. "I didn't mean to…"

He looked to the side, jaw clenching. "Didn't mean to what?"

She opened her mouth, but found no reason to proceed. Steve stepped past her, shaking his head as he carried on about his business. Almost instantaneously, she followed, as if his body had some kind of gravitational effect on her.

"Hey, hey, hey, hold on," she called after him, grabbing his arm. "I was just fucking with you."

"Yeah, well you know that using your powers gives you an unfair advantage," he huffed, starting to smile a bit.

Her frown unfolded. She pressed her hands against his shoulders and shoved him back before starting to walk away. "Jerk!"

This time, he followed her, tucking his notebook underneath his arm as he chuckled. "Aw, c'mon, Ellie, I was only playing. You think I'd really get hyped up about you going through my things?" he laughed at her. She shook her head, holding back her grin as she tried to ignore him.

"You're a jerk," she said again, rolling her eyes. He let out another laugh as he followed her further. Teasing Steve was fun. But teasing Ellie was a blast. He enjoyed each reaction when she fell for the same tricks. Sometime's she'd pretend to ignore him, but their little silent game only usually lasted for a few minutes. She would get over it quickly, then the tables would turn again with him on the other end of the stick.

"You're a jerk," he mischievously mocked. She turned around and pushed him again, feeding his appetite for laughter even more. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" he choked, rubbing his shoulder blade as if her push actually hurt him. He didn't even stumble back.

"You better be," she warned him, cocking her brow. "Or I'm gonna have to kick your star-spangled ass."

"Is that a threat?"

She narrowed her eyes and put her hands of her hips. "Jesus, Steve, when the hell did you become this cocky?" she asked him, tilting her head as she waited for his list of excuses to roll in.

"Okay okay, I'm sorry," he apologized, lifting his hands in surrender. With his arms out of the way, she quickly grabbed the book that had been tucked under his arm again. And so it began again, only this time he didn't react. He allowed her to flip through it as an apology. She spun around, gently paging, admiring how good of an artist he was. Usually, he kept his art locked away in his room, where nobody could find it. "Don't laugh, alright? It's not that –"

"Shut up," she sighed, shaking her head as she studied a portrait of the Avengers Tower. "It's fucking incredible."

The closest thing she could find to sit on was the stairs. He tracked her and towered over her as she sat down. Ellie took her sweet time going through the book. She didn't want to miss a single detail. The first few pieces were of landscapes and buildings pulled together by skillfully curved pencil lines. Her biggest fear was to ruin something, either by smudging, tearing or accidently folding a page.

She turned the page. It was of a woman. Short, curled brown hair framing a beautiful face. She was flawless –everything about her. Her eyes, her lips, her hair. Each feature complemented the next in an ongoing cycle.

"Who's this?" she breathed, definitely not intending for her voice to suddenly croak like that. Steve's lip parted. He had completely forgotten about those drawings. His throat clenched tightly, sucking out his voice.

How could she ever compete with that? How could she ever expect him to feel something similar to the way he obviously felt for this mystery woman? There was no competition. The woman had already won. It was easy to guess who he would pick between the two of them –it was the pathetic girl against the stunning woman. Even she wouldn't have chosen herself.

She looked away as she sunk into the ground. Peggy Carter held Steve Rogers' heart.

"Was she your wife?" she forced out in a soft mumble.

He managed to shake his head. "No."

For whatever reason, that made her feel a bit better. At least now it was only her against the woman, and not her against his wife.

"We didn't know each other for long, but she was one of the few who actually believed in me before the serum." The book closed. "Peggy Carter," he whispered, taking a seat next to her. "My first kiss. My first love."

"Is she…"

He shook his head.

"I visit her in hospital, back in DC. Sometimes it's like she can't even remember me."

"I'm sorry," she said softly, bringing her knees up. "I can't imagine how that feels."

Steve shook his head, the corner of his lips tugging up. "I guess things happen for a reason. I mean, now I got you, right?" he asked, nudging her with his elbow.

"Steve," she breathed, feeling more at ease. "I'm warning you –," she went on, finally looking back at him, "I might not be going anywhere for a long while. Once you have me, I'm yours 'til the end, because I don't have anywhere else to go."

He nodded his head. "The same goes for me," he agreed, "except you've had me since day one."

That finally got a smile from her. She turned her head the other way, trying to hide it her sudden introversion. He looked away too, forced by the rising awkward tension between them.

"Uh, can I have my book back ple –"

She quickly silenced him with her lips and he immediately returned the favor by sweeping his fingers over her cheek. Her body leaned over as she mirrored him. A moment later, it came to a quick end as she pulled away, grinning.

"No," she shook her head. "Come get it."

Before he could respond, his body fell forward in an empty space. The entire place erupted with the echoes of her footsteps and giggles as she ran as far away as possible. He rolled his eyes, snorting as he stood up to find her, even though he already knew where she'd be.

...

"…Bucky, take…my hand…," he mumbled, shaking his head frantically as his body tossed and turned restlessly next to Ellie. Since she was a heavy sleeper, it took a while before she began to hear him sob beside her in his deep sleep. She only started to wake up when she felt him grab her t-shirt from behind, twisting his fist tightly.

She woke up irritably at first, wanting to know why he was waking her up at such an obscene time. It was at least 4am. "What the hell -," she groaned, rubbing her eyes and lifting her head to get a look at him. That was when she saw him rolling around, burying his face into the pillow and whimpering. She had never, ever seen Steve Rogers in that state before.

Her next immediate move was to completely wake up and try to get him awake, too. She still owed him for doing the same to her. She sat up, hovering over him.

"Steve," she called out, sitting up and gently shoved him. He shook his head. She repeated his name, only louder. "Steve, wake up!" That was all it took. Within the next second, he opened his eyes. His breathing calmed down quickly, unlike hers, which usually broke her down. He tried to explain himself to her. He wanted so badly to give her a reason as to why Captain America was rolling around, crying in his sleep and waking her up by pulling her clothes.

When he tried to speak, no words came out. She didn't care.

"Hey hey hey hey hey," she whispered, "come here." He obeyed by shifting closer. Ellie gently progressed her hand across his jaw to the back of his neck. "It's alright," she assured him, brushing the back of his head with her hand. He didn't move a muscle. "Look at me, baby boy, it's alright."

Ellie's hand stopped caressing the nape of his neck. He looked up at her, her hands then holding each side of his face above hers. She pressed her lips against his forehead softly; he closed his eyes as she pulled away as if it hurt. After a while, Steve reached out his arms around her waist, accepting her. He closed his eyes once again and tried to fall asleep to the soothing touch of her fingertips running through his hair slowly.

"That's it," she breathed. His short, quick breaths turned into soft, calm ones. "It's okay."

She spent a half hour that night, holding him until he went back to sleep. Every few minutes, she'd lightly lift her head to see whether he was asleep or awake. Only once she was certain that he was out, she closed her eyes too and fell asleep almost a few seconds after.

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Aww, poor Cap :(