Well, this is it. The Big Day. Time to test out my master plan on Lily. James says she's got "the most beautiful golden fiery red hair" and "eyes so green they could put a traffic light out of business." His words, not mine.

Ben looks adorable; his curly blond hair and big blue eyes make him look really angelic. A huge deception; I really don't know how he pulls it off. He's in his old school uniform, the one he had to wear back in Washington at PC: black pants and a white button-down dress shirt. He chose not to wear the tie; good call, Benny.

I, on the other hand, am not so classy. I need to make Lily as jealous as possible, so I go for optimum hotness. With my wand I poof my hair, giving it more volume and shine, and apply my make-up with even greater care than usual. I look at my green eyes in the mirror; they aren't bright, not like James says Lily's are. Mine are more of a hazel, a darker green. I wish I got my brother's eyes; clear, beautiful blue. Lucky bastard.

I pull on a little thing I think must be a skirt; it's denim and scandalously skimpy. James picked it out; he said it would work the best to make Lily jealous. Pfft. I don't want to make her think I'm a whore! I lengthen it a good two and a half inches, and then pull on my favorite pink hoodie. I know; mini skirts and hoodies don't exactly mesh that well, but it's more of a comfort thing. I need it.

Once I'm ready, and have all my stuff packed (including the inhaler) I skip out to the living room, where everyone else is already waiting. James stands up when I enter, and extends an arm. I link up, grinning.

"You look lovely." He says politely.

"As do you," I say back in my own British accent. He laughs. "Shall we?" We walk outside to the large black car waiting for us (we have to go muggle-style because my stupid lungs can't handle apparating or traveling by flu powder. Too much dust.)

The trip there is surprisingly awkward. I mean, as good of friends as James and I have become over the past couple weeks, this is taking our relationship to a whole other level. We don't speak much, and once we get there I'm actually really nervous. What if this doesn't work? What if I misjudged Lily's reaction, and she tries to kill me for stealing her Jamesie-poo?

"Ready?" I ask him. He looks at me, his nerves visible, and takes my hand, nodding.

"Ready."

We step through the barrier (which is totally sweet, by the way) and onto Platform 9 ¾; suddenly we are surrounded. The platform is crammed with students and their families, and is extremely loud. After saying goodbye to James's parents and waving to Ben as he heads off to greet some jocky-looking boys in another part of the platform, James and I start on our way to the train.

"Oi! Potter! Who's the girl?" A boy, who looks a bit younger than James comes running up to us. He has short sandy-blond hair and brown eyes, and a devilish smirk.

"Hey Peter! This is Max. She's American."

"Ohhhhh." Peter says, as if this explains everything. "Pleasure to meet you, Max; I'm Peter Pettigrew.

"'Sup." We shake hands. "What grade are you in?"

"Grade? Oh, you mean year…same as you, I think. Seventh, right?"

"Yep. So…are you one of the infamous Marauders?" I'm actually a bit surprised that Peter is in seventh year; he's so tiny!

"I am, I am," he confirms, grinning. This basically ends our conversation; Peter sees a friend and rushes off, and James and I continue on our way.

"Damn, I almost forgot!" Suddenly James stops, and digging around in his pocket pulls out a shiny little badge. "My awesome Head Boy badge."

"Head…Boy?"

"I forgot to tell you…I'm like, in charge of everyone." He shrugs, looking pleased with himself. "I bet Lily is the Head Girl…which means we'll be sharing a room…" He stares dreamily off into space for a moment.

"WHAT?! AND YOU ARE JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW?"

"Sorry, sorry, I just—"

"Potter."

Oh, look who's here. This must be Lily Evans. I snatch up James's hand and lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Evans." He nods, before walking off without introducing us. Perfect!

"That was amazing!" I say as soon as we find a compartment on the Hogwarts Express. "You were perfect, James, absolutely fabulous! She was sooo jealous!"

"You think so? I felt really rude." I snort. Since when does James care about being rude? I mean, this is the boy who said my name is a guy name the first time we met. I'm still pretty ticked about that, actually.

"You were great. Now come sit next to me."

"Is this part of the plan?" he asks, confused. I nod.

"Yeah. Plus, I really need a nice pillow to take a nap on. I'm tired." And I lay down, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Max! Max, wake up!" My eyes open to see someone shaking me. Ben.

"Hello to you too." I say grumpily. "Was that really necessary?" I sit up, stretching. James is sleeping, his mouth open, head resting against the window.

"This train is awesome, Max! Did you try the candy?" He sounds so excited.

"Glad you like it."

"And I met these really awesome guys; their names are Craig, Ethan, Ash, and Jimmy!"

"Jimmy?" I ask, not really paying attention.

"Yeah, Jimmy Smith; he's really cool! You might have seen him; he's got, like, these awesome dreads."

"Introduce me," I say. Maybe one of them will be cute or something, you never know.

"Sure! Come on!" He practically drags me to his compartment, where the four boys are sitting, laughing at something. "Guys, this is my sister Max. Max, the guys." They aren't bad. Not bad at all. They're no James, but they're not completely physically unfortunate. I pick out Jimmy right away; he has black dreadlocks and tan skin, and deep, hooded brown eyes.

The other three look a lot alike; nothing special. One of them has blond hair and large hazel eyes, and wears glasses; another has long brown hair and very light eyes, with dimples. The final one is tall and thin, with pink cheeks and light hair. They all look pretty athletic, except for Jimmy, who just looks like a rebel. I decide to address him.

"So. You play Quidditch?" I ask. He looks surprised that I'm talking to him. His friends snigger.

"Not exactly." He grins, like I said something funny. "You?"

"Well, duh. And soccer, and volleyball."

"Soccer? Oh, you mean football…so, you're athletic? You got a six pack?" The guys think this is just hilarious.

"Yup." I lift my shirt; this shuts them up. I lower it again, in a dignified sort of manner, clear my throat, and say, "Well, it was very nice meeting you all." And then, I leave. Ben just stares after me, looking half amazed, half horrified.

Haha.

Ha.

When I get back to my compartment, James is still sleeping. Only now, he's not alone. Lily?

"Um…excuse me?" I ask, eyebrows raised. She jumps up; she'd totally been checking him out when he was sleeping! She turns bright red.

"Oh, um…I was just…hello, I'm Lily." She extends a hand. I shake it, smirking, then take a seat beside James.

"He's just so cute when he sleeps," I say lovingly, brushing some dark hair out of his eyes. Lily doesn't say anything. "I'm surprised he hasn't rolled onto the floor…usually he's very…what's the word? Mobile, while he sleeps. I go to sleep beside him, and when I wake up he's half under the bed!" I laugh hysterically at this, which probably makes her think I'm insane. Great.

"You know each other well, then?" There's an edge to her voice. I grin.

"You could say that." I don't elaborate.

"You're from America…how did you come to be here in Europe?"

"Well, Lily, it's a long story. But basically, I met James at the beginning of the summer, and his family invited my brother and me to stay at their mansion for the rest of the summer. They are sooo nice, the Potters. So is James. He's such a sweety, always helping out around the house and taking care of his family. I never once saw him yell at his mom."

"You and your brother? So where are your parents?"

"Oh, they're…dead, actually. They both died from disease."

"I'm so sorry!" She gasps, looking horrified. I shrug.

"Yeah, it pretty much sucks. James has been really nice this whole time…comforting me, and stuff." I decide now is a good time to turn on the tears. I sniff, looking down. "I j-just don't know what I would do w-without h-him!" And of course, this is when James chooses to wake up. He's got impeccable timing, this one.

"Lily?" He asks, confused, before noticing me. He shoots up, hair messier than ever. "Max, what's wrong?" He looks concernedly at me, putting an arm around my shoulder. I wonder if he heard our conversation…he's playing his part perfectly. "Are you okay? Should I get Ben? How are your l—"

"I'm f-fine, James." I sniffle pitifully. "I was just thinking about m-my parents, and how they d-died." James is looking extremely confused. I guess he was sleeping.

"Oh, I…umm…here, come here Max, that's it…" he pulls me to him and I "cry" into his chest. Lily clears her throat.

"Well, it was lovely meeting you, Max. Potter." And she leaves. I immediately sit up, rubbing the tears from my eyes.

"What the hell was that all about?" James asks. I grin.

"Lily was totally checking you out when you were sleeping." I say. He frowns.

"Oh. Okay. And you really are—I mean, the tears were really realistic…"

"I'm fine, James! Calm down. Here, let me fix your hair." I take out my wand and go about smoothing and styling his hair. It doesn't exactly work all that well, but it does look a lot better once I'm done. "You have really soft hair," I comment. Then I jump as I feel a hand in my hair.

"Yours is softer," he says.

His hand is still in my hair.

"Whoa."

"Hello Sirius."

"Whoa."

"This is Max, my girlfriend."

"Whooooooa."

It feels weird to hear James say that…I mean, we agreed to pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend, right? Remus knows, but he won't tell anyone. I know it's going to be really hard for James to keep this from Sirius, though. And really, I don't have a problem with Sirius knowing the truth; as long as he doesn't go blabbing to Lily, that is.

Speaking of Sirius, he is smokin'! Shaggy dark hair, light grey eyes; but he's too…I don't know, typical. Model-y. Plus, judging by his lack of a decent vocabulary, he's not the roundest hole in the doughnut either, brains-wise. Maybe more of a crescent moon.

"What about Lily?" Sirius asks, looking genuinely confused.

"I don't know; I guess she just gave me one refusal too many. I met Max here at Mum's work."

Sirius turns to me, beaming.

"You fixed him!" He says joyfully, and gives me a big hug. Is he retarded?

"It's nice to meet you too, Sirius." I say slowly and clearly, smiling pleasantly. "Now what exactly do you mean by saying that I 'fixed' him?" He looks taken aback by the slow tone with which I am speaking to him.

"I mean, you fixed him," he shrugs. "I was starting to worry he wasn't a proper, you know, boy." He whispers the last word, looking over at James, who is scowling. "I mean, come on; a guy only lusting after one girl? Yeah. Riiiiight."

"Who says I only lusted after one girl?" James asks defensively. "Just because I can control myself doesn't mean—"

"Whatever you say, Prongs. I'm just glad that Max here is a girl. I must say, when Remus told me that I have to 'go see James and his new love interest Max' I was quite concerned."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" James and I both ask at the same time, outraged.

"Nothing, nothing. Well, later then you lot. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." And off he goes.

"Yeah, like there's anything he wouldn't do," James mutters darkly.

"Um, James? Is Sirius okay? In the head?"

"What?"

"Is he, you know, mentally challenged?"

"That's debatable," James says seriously. "But no, I don't think he is."

"Oh. Okay."

Awkward silence. I clear my throat.

"You know, it's okay with me if you tell him. About us, I mean."

"Are you crazy? After all that he said about me lusting after Lily? No way! I'd basically be proving his point!"

"Well, he's right you know."

"No he isn't! I've liked a lot of girls before other than Lily!"

"Like who?"

"Um…..hmmm….."

"That's what I thought." I say this triumphantly, but inside I'm a bit hurt. What am I, chopped liver?

The rest of the trip is pretty boring; I meet some weird people with even weirder names: Lexus, Cajus, Shealin, Oryan, and Kyren, to name a few. Not that I'm one to talk when it comes to weird names.

"Your name is Max? That's so brill! Mine is Shealin! We're in the same year, right? This is so ace!"

This girl is going to get very old, very fast. She's like the valley girls back in the States who talked like, "Omigod, like, is that, like, totally new? So cool! Omigod! Like, omigod!" Too many exclamation points, for one thing. For another thing, like, OMIGOD, like, shut up with the omigods! Haha. Ha.

Oh, and then there was good ol' Cajus, who spoke with such a thick cockney accent I couldn't understand a word he said. I just nodded and smiled. Lexus, on the other hand, is very proper and reminds me of some royal princess. She even looks like one: long curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, prominent cheekbones, etcetera, etcetera.

Once the last person finally leaves, James and I are all alone again.

"FINALLY." James says, groaning. "I thought they'd never leave!"

"I know. What, have they never seen an American before?"

"Some of them haven't. They probably wanted to see if all the rumors about you lot are true." James grins evilly.

"What rumors?"

"Well, it's a widely-known fact that an American girl will bang anything that moves. And some things that don't—"

"You didn't just say that." I growl, and throw myself at him, out for blood. I tackle him onto the floor, and grab him by his crazy hair. "Take it back! Take it back!"

"Are you going to deny it—OWWOWWOWW, GEROFF ME, YOU LITTLE—"

"Potter."

Crap.

James tries to stand; unfortunately I am still clinging to his hair when he does this, and he lets off a string of swearwords I will never again repeat, and some that I think he must've made up.

"L-Lily!" He says when he finally detangles himself from me. "What's up?"

"Do the words 'Head Boy duties' mean anything to you?" Lily asks coldly. James just stares at her. No doubt he has something nasty running through his head right now.

"Head…Boy…Duty…"

"You were supposed to talk to the prefects with me, but you never came so I had to do it alone!"

"Ooops. Sorry 'bout that, Evans. I was…caught up." He looks back at me, winking. Good one. Caught up. Verrrry funny. I smile flirtatiously at him.

"Well, one more slip-up like that and I'll have you released from your position!"

"Released…Position…" Obviously this is just too much for his one-tracked little mind to take; he bursts into laughter, and soon I'm laughing too (who knows why) and we're in a heap on the floor again.

When I look up, Lily is gone.

And I am on the floor.

With James Potter.