14th January 1989

Despite the whole situation having been his idea, the clauses that Madam Pomfrey insisted upon had been met without enthusiasm, particularly the requirement that Draco must come to Hogwarts. 'I am not at all happy with this,' was the phrase repeated a countless number of times throughout early January. 'Besides the fact that Draco has been neglecting his studies enough as it is over the holidays, you fully aware of how impressionable he is and if I allow him to visit Hogwarts...' and so on and so forth. But I knew it would only be a matter of time until he came around to the idea; even his pride was not enough to overshadow the fact that this was undeniably too good an opportunity to let go.

However, as much as I tried to convince him of the benefits of accompanying Draco to Hogwarts, Lucius was adamant that it would be impossible for him to take any more time off work so soon after Christmas and so I met Draco out of the fireplace in the Three Broomsticks early Friday morning alone.

He greeted me with a sooty scowl, tired and irritable after his journey through Britain's filthy floo network. He did not look happy to be here.

As we had several hours before Madam Pomfrey was able to see us, I treated Draco to his first butterbeer in an attempt to improve his mood.

"So, are you looking forward to seeing Hogwarts?"

Draco scowled into his untouched glass and shrugged sullenly.

"Not even slightly?" I pressed uselessly, feeling more than slight disappointed at my godson's lack of enthusiasm. "I thought, perhaps, you might be-"

"Excited?" the contempt in his voice made him sound more like his father than ever before. He glared at me. "I know why I'm here, you know!"

Sobered by this reminder, I looked away, ashamed that I had almost forgotten the purpose of Draco's visit myself. "Of course. Forgive me."

"I don't see the point," he muttered furiously. "I don't need to talk..."

"You don't think it'll help?" I asked, feeling my own mood deflating, "To get it out of your head, I mean?"

Draco shot me a withering look. "No. I don't. And it won't get it out of my head, will it? It'll just mean that I have to think about it and talk about it and I don't want to. I don't see the point!"

Even as we walked through the main doors of the castle, Draco obstinately refused to look up from the ground. He followed me silently through the halls and up the maze of stairs, determinedly keeping his eyes fixed upon his feet. With each step we took towards the hospital wing I could feel Draco becoming more and more tense and unyielding; I prayed that Madam Pomfrey would, somehow, be able to reach him through the barricade that the boy had been constructing around him for the last seven months. Merlin knows where we would go from here otherwise.

Thankfully, we past very few people on our way; the time of day was such that most of the occupants of Hogwarts were busy in class or marking or Quidditch and, as such, were not loitering around the halls as they might have been.

The overpowering smell of disinfectant greeted us long before we reached the ward, no matter how many times I visited it, it still made me wince. By this point, I just wanted to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible. My own disappointment and Draco's determined petulance was beginning to grate on my nerves and so, when I sensed him stop in his tracks behind me, I was in little mood to humour him.

I turned and fixed him with my very best 'I-am-the-teacher-you-will-do-as-I-say' look. "Draco, come on."

Draco raised his chin haughtily and folded his arms across his chest with an equally as good 'try-it-I-dare-you' look.

"We do not have time for this."

He took one step back as I took one step forward.

"Draco, please-"

My insistence was met with a stony glare.

It was as much as I could do to refrain from grabbing his arm and marching him the rest of the way. I had a feeling that would be counterproductive. "Look," I ground out, "everyone involved is giving up their own time for this, to help you. The least you can do-"

"I never asked you to," came the inevitable rebuke. "And if it were that important, Father would be here."

"It wouldn't make a difference if he was. This is about you."

Draco stiffened with anger, hatred almost physically radiating from his small body.

The intensity of his sudden hostility confused me greatly; I had known that this was going to be a difficult thing for Draco to have to deal with but, as far as I was aware, I had done nothing to provoke such animosity from my godson. And yet, I was unfortunately familiar enough with Draco's feral side to know that, were I to provoke him further, I would there would be no hope of progression.

I forced myself to take a deep breath, to calm my own temper and regain control of the situation. Then, as patiently as I could manage, "Draco, please. This is to help. This is to make life easier. You need to trust me. Do you understand?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid," Draco snarled, in no way appeased. "I know exactly why you and Father wanted me here and it's not to help me! I'm not stupid!"

I stared at him, bewildered. "What?"

"The only reason you and Father want me to do this," said Draco stiffly, hands clenched into fists by his side, "is because you both still feel guilty because it's all your fault! You didn't help when you should've, so you're trying to make up for it now because you feel guilty! It doesn't matter that it's too late, that you're just making it worse! You don't care, you and Father, what I think because you never have! All that matters is that you don't want to feel bad about it anymore! Well," he finished with a sneer, "I'm not doing it, because you should. You should feel guilty because it's all your fault!"

I was, quite literally, struck dumb. Was it wrong that the thought of guilt had never really occurred to me? As far as I was concerned, it had happened, it had been beyond my control and I had done my best to rectify the situation as quickly and as effectively as I could. Throughout the entirety of last summer, my intentions had always been completely sincere and, for that reason, I had never considered the fact that Draco might be holding a grudge against me.

"And I know that's why Father's trying to be better too," continued Draco bitterly. "And why you came back after you left. No matter what your mother says, or anyone. I'm not stupid."

"I left because it was the best thing to do," I said slowly, considering each word carefully before it left my lips. "And I came back for the same reason. Everyone makes mistakes Draco, your father and I included. You cannot hate us for trying to fix what we've done wrong."

"It shouldn't have happened! You shouldn't have let it! You should've helped then but you didn't and now it's too late!"

I opened my mouth to reply, although what I would have said I have no idea- something completely useless, probably- but, thankfully, we were interrupted.

Disturbed by the commotion we were causing, Madam Pomfrey had been drawn out of the hospital wing.

"What in Merlin's name is going on out here?" she demanded, glaring indignantly between us before landing solely on me. "Severus, this is a hospital wing, there are people trying to recover in here!"

I apologised profusely, my head ringing with the stress that this day was causing. "This is Draco Malfoy," I told her wearily, gesturing to the angry young boy standing a few feet away, still smouldering. "Mr Malfoy sends his apologies but-"

"He's too busy," Draco interjected coldly. "There are more important things to do today."

She looked disapprovingly at me, as though somehow it were my fault that Lucius was not here. "Never mind. Given the little of the argument I heard between the two of you, I would like to begin by talking to Draco alone." She turned her attention to him, "If that's okay with you?"

Clearly a little disorientated by being asked his opinion, Draco did not dismiss her suggestion immediately as I had expected him to. Instead, he considered it for a few moments and, as he did so, I saw a little of the tension he had been holding onto subside. Finally, he gave a slight nod of consent.

Relief.

I was effectively sent to my room on Madam Pomfrey's promise to send for me when they were done. Draco stalked past me without a second glance as he followed her through to her office at the end of the hospital wing.

I had hoped that, somehow, Draco's mood would have been improved by the time his appointment with Madam Pomfrey was over.

No such luck.

He was as sullen and his gait as heavy as it has been two hours ago; eyes fixed stubbornly on his patent black shoes, his silent fury had in no way been diminished. Madam Pomfrey offered me nothing in the way of reassurance either; lips drawn into a single thin line, the eyes behind her spectacles were troubled as she beckoned me to her.

"Severus, I will need to speak to both you and mr Malfoy separately before any sort of conclusion can be reached. I have written to him and he is arriving first thing tomorrow morning." She lowered her voice before continuing, "What has been made clear to me, is that this goes much deeper than I think anyone realised. This is not simply Draco's problem, there are clearly a lot of issues that you need to address in yourself before you can have any hope of helping Draco with his."

I nodded, dumb, her words not making a great deal of sense in my head.

Behind me, Draco had perched himself in my high-backed char, a large volume of Oscar Wilde's Complete Works balanced precariously in his lap.

"If you could come with me now, Severus?"

I looked at her blankly. "Now?"

"Now. He needs some time to himself and it would be better to do this sooner rather than later."

I glanced reluctantly at my godson; I felt an overwhelming need to talk with him properly, to sort us out before I could even think about sorting myself out.

I felt a hand on my arm. "Now is not the time. Come on. He'll be fine on his own."

Feeling more confused than ever, I allowed her to lead me away from my rooms to look for answers to questions I had no idea existed.

A/N: Still struggling :P This part just sort of sprung upon me and I'm trying to work out where it's heading... So thought I'd give you this as I go because it's still being worked out in my head and I don't know how long that's going to take. We shall see :) Hope you enjoyed it!

Love Lily xxx