Chapter Thirty-Five

Don't Trust Me

As Mika led her through the winding halls, he mulled over the questions he needed to ask her. Though the prospect of the woman he once loved bathing before him was something he couldn't ignore, he forced himself to focus on the importance of the store room's missing contents. She was a few steps behind him, and he could hear her heavy breaths as her footfalls became more pronounced. He knew from looking at her in the mess hall that she was exhausted, her face pale, bandages needing to be changed.

Juliet's hand braced against the wall as she let Mika continue to walk away from her. She cursed inwardly. 'No way in hell am I asking for his help,' she thought. As she continued to stumble behind him, he turned a corner sharply, and she struggled to keep up, desperate for a shower more than she'd ever been. As she careened around the corner she tripped, falling into Mika's waiting arms.

"Put me down!" she growled as he hoisted her bridal-style. "I will not be carried, I can walk. Let me go!"

She struggled, and Mika loosened his grip, afraid to injure her, or allow her to injure herself. "Be still, Juliet. You know you cannot walk. You barely rested in the hall." He snapped. Juliet stilled momentarily before struggling again.

"What the fuck do you know? I'm not letting you do this. Let me go!" She pushed against him and pain tore through her body as she felt a stitch pop open. "Ahh fuck," she groaned. Blood began to soak through her bandages and Mika cursed. Setting her on the ground.

Juliet clutched at her abdomen, afraid to let Mika see where the blood was beginning to pool. To her surprise he pulled a roll of the cloth bandages from the pocket of his black pants. He began to offer it to her, then stopped himself.

"Juliet, give me your hand." He said, offering her his.

"No, fuck off. Give me those bandages!" she snapped, swiping at his extended arm.

"Juliet-"

"Stop calling me that. You don't get to call met that!" She felt the red haze beginning to cloud her vision once more, and fought the pull of it. It wanted to overtake her. "Just give me those bandages, please!"

Her plea made him stop, clenching his jaw and weighing his options. "I want to take you to where you can bathe. Your stitches need to be cleaned, and then we can re-apply the bandages."

"I'm bleeding here!" she shouted. "There's no time!"

"You're not dying, Juliet. I know this because I have been present each time they've re-stitched you. Your organs are healed, and safely tucked within your body. Your stitches keep coming undone simply because you cannot sit still!" he growled back. "Let us tend to this properly. Trust me."

"Trust you?" she spat. Her rage gave her the strength to struggle to her feet, hand on her abdomen covered in blood as it trickled between her fingers. She pointed one of her blood soaked fingers at him. "You did this to me, didn't you? You're the entire reason I'm here! Why should I trust you?"

"Because I'm also the only reason you're alive, and if you wish to stay that way you will shut up and do as I say!"

Juliet gnashed her teeth, biting back curses as she turned from him and braced herself against the wall, unwilling to look any weaker in front of this man, even as her knees threatened to give out. "You should have just let me die." She coughed, sobs threating her resolve. "I shouldn't be here. I was happy, dammit! I had forgotten all about you!"

Mika continued to clench his jaw, now his hands mimicked the action, close to his sides. Leather gloves squeaking in earnest as he tried to keep from reaching out to her. This woman, this ghost from his past, hurting so terribly right before him and he could do nothing. They sat in silence for an eternity, Juliet pushing against the rage that threatened to overtake her and force her hand, and Mika silently and unknowingly giving her the strength to push through.

"Please, just come with me." He said, finally, taking a step towards him. She could feel his warm body behind her, ready to catch her the moment she fell. Ready to let her trust him.

Juliet let out a shaky sob, allowing herself to fall back into him. He caught her with ease and once again she was in his arms, cradled softly against his firm chest.

"Don't make me regret this." She whispered, barely audible, though she knew he could hear her perfectly.

He said nothing, instead simply letting her fall into him as he began striding towards the hall of Perta Vin Grahl.

Inside the hall, the thunderous roaring water cascaded down into the mountain, and out down the side of the mountain. Juliet hid her surprise as Mika set her against the wall, making sure there were two fur towels ready in the corner for when she finished.

"Do you need help undressing?" he asked, clearly unsure of how to approach her.

Juliet wanted to snap at him, but instead she thought practically, and realized there was no way she could safely remove her clothing and bandages without help. "Just don't get any ideas," she sighed, nodding at him.

The tall vampire strode over to her, careful to keep his demeanor calm. Juliet raised her arms, and Mika reached under her and pulled her shirt up over her head. The fabric bandages wrapped over her shoulders and breasts, obscuring them from his view. But he could see the red liquid creeping through the vesicles of the fabric, and made a note to hurry the process along. In his pocket, along with the bandages were the items needed to fix her stitches. He'd made sure to have them on him at all times, in case she attacked him again and he needed to repair her. The thought brought immediate shame to him, and he pushed the thoughts from his minde. He cast the fabric into the corner, and watched as Juliet wiggled, pulling her pants down over her ample bottom.

"I need you to pull." She said, pointing to the black material that hung loosely at her ankles. Mika knelt down and gripped the fabric, and Juliet lifted her legs up with a grunt then a hiss from the pain exerted on her abdomen. As Mika pulled the pants from her he was all at once surprised and embarrassed to find that she was not wearing any underpants. His surprise dissipated quickly as he realized Seba's store rooms more than likely held no undergarments for females, as they held little for males. He hid his flush well, though, as Juliet simply crossed her legs without glaring at him as he tossed the pants to the corner with her shirt.

"Alright, you got a look, but it's nothing you haven't seen before," she sighed.

Though Mika badly wanted to tell her how seeing something for the first time after fifty years was akin to never having seen it before, he stopped himself. Juliet had probably only agreed to come with him because she wanted this shower, and only with him because he had seen her fully unclothed before, though it was long ago. To a woman, it was the closest she could come to safety and familiarity in such a strange place.

Mika offered her his hand to help her stand, and Juliet took it with no comment. "Be careful with the ones in the front," she mumbled as he began unravelling her bandages. Mika nodded, knowing full well that the Medics had needed to pack many pieces of cloth underneath to make sure the stitches had adequate pressure.

As her skin became revealed, Mika again fought against thoughts of their history together. Visions of nights where her tan skin had melded with his pale white flesh flashed before his eyes, but the moment her stitches came into view they stopped, replaced by her hand gripping the cool steel of his sword as she dragged herself forward, further impaling her body on his sword.

His shudder was barely noticeable, but Juliet knew he was reliving the night she'd died. She was too. This instance was the first time they had been so close since. She wasn't sure how long it had been. A week, two? It didn't matter. This man had caused this injury on her, and she'd allowed it. Wanted it. Anything to silence the voice in the back of her mind. But as his cold hands brushed against her hips while he removed her bandages she shuddered, trying in vain to act like this wasn't the most intimate touch she'd received in years.

When her breasts became uncovered, Mika stiffened. He'd noticed in the cave that first night that though she had remained mostly the same, she'd grown in numerous ways, but this was the first time he'd seen, up close and very personal, exactly how much. Fully nude in front of him, Juliet stood at least four inches taller than she had previously, putting her to his chin as opposed to his chest like she was when they had been lovers. Her bust had increased exponentially, something the man in him could not help but appreciate, though the gentleman in him remembered not to stare. Her hips and thighs had grown to complement her form, and no longer was she the petite woman she had been before. Bombshell was the term they had used back in the fifties, and bombshell she was, hourglass figure, legs for days, and eyes that could kill.

And they were killing him right then.

"If you don't mind," she growled, feeling his gaze inch over her naked form. She reached up and undid the knot she had made at the back of her head, stretching her stitches and causing more blood to ooze out. Mika reached to stop her, but he black locks fell in cascading waves over her shoulders and back, dropping to her hips, and she strode past him with a little sway to her hip to walk directly into the water.

If she had been affected by the coldness, she didn't let it show, leaning back and allowing the waist-deep water to take her weight. He heard and felt her sigh as she floated there, black hair becoming one with the dark water in the dimly lit cave.

"Let's talk, Vampire."

As she floated there, Mika found himself undressing, tugging at his black pants and throwing his gloves away. Before he realized it he was in the water, standing a good ways away from Juliet as she allowed the water to run over her wound.

"How long have you been in the mountain?" Mika asked, watching as she stroked the sides of her wound tenderly. "There have been some items taken from the store rooms."

"You're accusing me of stealing from you? Hah, if only. I've had better food from you all than the slop I packed myself."

"What do you mean?" He asked, interested.

"I brought protein bars, jerky, you know, hiking stuff. Luckily the guy I was out here with brought more nutritious stuff. I was not prepared for a four week trek through snow and woods."

"You did not come alone?" Mika's voice was loud enough to disturb those down the hall, but luckily they had this hall to themselves. "Where is your companion?"

"Killed by wolves. I took his pack and his food and fled. It's fine though, guy was a misogynistic dick." She didn't seem phased by his apparent distress but Mika was not happy.

"How did you find this place?" Juliet considered the question, and Mika found himself adding "If you are trying to protect your friends, I understand, but please, I'm trying to protect my people."

"I don't care about the Hunters," Juliet finally said. "I only cared about finding you. About calming… my mind." She couldn't let him know about the voice or the rage. She already knew she was crazy, but if these Vampires thought she was any crazier… she didn't want that. "I found this place by following leads the Hunters hadn't bothered looking into. You know, old lore and children's tales and shit. But the thing is, this old dude, Gary, he was following the same leads. So one day we meet up and I'm like 'Hey Gary you lookin' for the mountain?' and he's like 'I'm scared of vaginas please don't hurt me' so we went out here together we hiked for what seemed like forever, he died, I took his shit, and surprise-surprise I found this place."

Mika was unsure whether or not to take Juliet's rendition of Gary seriously, so he shook it off. "And how long have you been here?"

"The Vampire boy said I've been out for about a week." She supplied.

"In the mountain as a whole. When did you first arrive?"

Juliet was quiet, as if she was searching for the answer. "Believe me when I say I'm not sure."

Mika grew cold. She didn't seem to be lying, so her lack of knowledge of her own whereabouts bothered him. "You had enough food?" he asked finally.

"I had plenty of weird green things to eat thanks to Gary. But god I wish I had packed more jerky."

"You said four weeks earlier."

"Yeah I think it was about four weeks before I found this place, but… I…" she sighed, scratching idly at her stitches. "I just don't know how long I lived in that cave."

Mika watched her float on the freezing water, her gaze distant as if searching for a lost thought. He shook his head. Clearly she was not the one to take from the store-rooms. "Come, let me clean your injury." He motioned for her and she stood, slowly wading through the water to him. He grabbed one of the waiting towels and wet it, taking care to dab at the stitches delicately. Juliet did not show a hint of pain.

"As I said, you are right within, it is just this flesh wound that refuses to heal." The words he said hit him by their double meaning, as he realized there was something broken within both of them that would not heal as quickly as Juliet's organs.

"I'll try to take it easy." She muttered, controlling her hands as she desperately wanted to push this man away. Or jump on him. Seeing his talk form glistening from water by torchlight. Juliet had felt so attracted to a man in years, and she'd had her fair share. The perks of being ageless.

"Will you?" he asked, his voice had a smile in it. "What is taking it easy to you? By everything I've heard from medics I should be thanking all the Vampire gods that you haven't tried to drown me yet."

"The night is still young, Vampire." She replied.

Mika straightened and frowned. Vampire. She hadn't used his name since the night he'd…

"You have bandages, do you have something to fix this?" She gestured pointedly at the broken stitch, interrupting his thoughts.

"I do, bathe a little longer and I will fix you once you've dried."

Juliet didn't wait for him to finish before she floated away again, noticing that the bleeding of her stitches had stopped exponentially…. Once she'd stopped fighting and getting so angry. She frowned at the thought.

"You should get out soon though," he commented as he waded past her towards the falling water. Juliet stood up and watched as he stood beneath the falling waves, the water running down his muscular form in waves, drawing her eyes to every bulge, every tendon. His body had tensed as the cold water began its torrential fall onto him, and Juliet was reaping the visual benefits.

She shook her head, avoiding the thoughts, and climbed out of the water, cringing as blood began running down her body with the water. It felt good to bathe, even without the creature comforts of silky body wash and conditioning products for her hair, but she hadn't used those in years, so why did she suddenly think of them?

It was also strange, she thought, that she'd been in this room with Mika ver Leth, the object of her vendetta, alone and hadn't thought once about what it would feel like to strangle him, well not in the killing sense, anyhow. Again she shook the thought away.

These Vampires didn't want to hurt her, most of them seemed apologetic to her, and she knew from firsthand experience with Mika from their past that they didn't kill people when they fed. He'd never killed her, at least not from feeding.

He said he didn't start the fire.

Things were clearing up in her head. She suddenly had nobody to blame, but more questions than she'd ever realized. What was she, or would it be who was she? Why wasn't she aging? She'd given up on that question so long ago and just embraced the eternal youth, using it to her advantage. Who wanted to grow old anyhow? Though she remembered the one time she had returned to her hometown, to Jen's pub in the dead of night, hoping to see him even though it had been twenty years, and aching to tell this aging man that it was her, Juliet, she'd come back and she missed him and his laugh and his sparkling eyes. How she'd missed being his guinea pig for his new ales. But when he walked out and saw her face he smiled kindly and told her that she reminded him of an old friend. And she felt the pain in his voice, and saw it in his eyes and knew she couldn't say anything to anyone.

That was when she realized she needed no long-term connections.

Mika was behind her now, handing her a towel to dry off with, and as she dabbed at her stitches to keep from irritating them she watched him rummage in his pants pockets and pull out the bandages and a needle and thread.

"I hope I don't hurt you," he said, kneeling before her. The man was so tall even on his knees he came to her breasts. Juliet fought the urge to blush, or say something rude and needlessly hurtful. He had hurt her, in so many ways. He'd changed her life, he'd made her realize things about her she never needed to know. She'd become strong for herself, become dangerous because of him. She didn't even feel as he fed the needle through the tender flesh of her abdomen. She had become so desensitized in the past decade, as emotional and physical pain had assaulted her at every turn. The bandages were wrapped around her midsection, and as he finished wrapping her abdomen she felt his fingers dance against the tight flesh where her navel sat. Before she knew it he had finished.

As his arms encircled her waist she looked up at him, fully bandaged and clean, and saw the question in his eyes. Any thoughts she'd been trying to lock away from the past she'd shared with this dark creature came rushing to the forefront of her mind, and she nearly choked at the emotions overwhelming her. She pushed away.

"No, stop."

"I'm sorry, Juliet. I just couldn't help it. It's-"

"Hard. It's hard to realize that we are different people. It's hard not to see you as you were, for you to not see me as I was. But stop. Just stop." She cut him off, looking tired and angry and more than anything else, pained, as if he'd hurt her more than he had when he'd run her through with his sword.

Mika bit his lip, fists clenched "I'll stop."

"I mean it. Really, stop. Just get the thought out of your head. This is never going to happen, we are never going to happen, ever again." She pointed at herself. "I'm not who I was. I don't care what you see. I've changed in ways you couldn't imagine. You changed me," she nearly sobbed but contained it. "In ways I never imagined. I can't live in the past, Mika. I won't."

He was startled to hear her say his name, the way her voice broke rushed over him like a wave. Numbly he walked to the corner and picked up her discarded clothes, handing them to her. "I will dress and wait outside."

"No, I… send the kid. Have him walk me to my room. I can't look at you. You just don't understand." Juliet averted her eyes from his muscular form as it tightened in stress. "Or maybe you do."

"More than you know." Mika growled. He quickly dressed and left, leaving Juliet alone to find a way into her own clothes.