"Oh, hello, girls," Pyrrha's mother greeted the trio as they lounged in the living room. "Not going out today?"

"Hello, mother," Pyrrha smiled. "No, not just yet. I'm afraid my Valesian girlfriends are worried they might self-combust if they walk outside."

"It's sooo hot," Ruby whined piteously from where she lay across the redhead's lap. "And I feel like I hafta swim instead of walk out there!"

"I am not overly fond of feeling my ears sweat," the Cat Faunus added grumpily.

Pyrrha and her mother shared a chuckle. "Valesians," the elder Nikos woman sighed.

"Indeed," the younger one smiled.

"Pfft, whatever," Ruby scoffed. "That's what air conditioning and vids are for." She craned her head up to regard their hostess for the remainder of the summer. "Um… would you like to join us, Helena?"

"Oh, that's very nice of you dear. Were you about to start a new one?"

"Yes, but we cannot decide on one," Blake murmured. "I refuse to watch another gore-fest."

"It's an action movie, not a horror movie!" Ruby protested. "No gore!"

"Says you," Blake snarked, reaching over to thread her fingers through the red-tipped brown hair affectionately.

"We were thinking perhaps a romance, but it would appear we've already watched the most recent offerings," Pyrrha interjected.

"I see." Helena perched herself over on the chair that matched the pattern of the couch that the other three occupied. "How about something of a classic, then?"

The girls perked up at that, gazing at the older woman eagerly. "Such as?" Blake prodded.

Pyrrha's mother picked the remote up and worked her way through the menu on the vid player. "There was this lovely movie with Cary Golden and Deborah Carr, called An Affair To Remember…"

"Oh, I think I remember you mentioning it previously," Pyrrha mused thoughtfully.

Helena nodded genially. "Yes, it's about this popular Atlesian playboy who meets a Valesian girl aboard a long-distance airship trip. They fall in love, and agree to meet at the top of Beacon Tower in six months…"

The older woman paused in her perusal as she seemed to tear up slightly. "And… and then she tries to, but something happens… And he waited and waited. And it was raining, I think. And then... she's too proud to tell him... that she's, uh…"

Mesmerized, Blake grabbed the tissue box next to her and handed it to the now sobbing woman.

"Oh, thank you dear… So in any case, he's too proud to find out why she doesn't come. But he comes to see her anyway. I forget why, but, oh... Oh, it's so amazing when he comes to see her because…"

Helena trailed off tearfully, unable to continue as she blew her nose and wiped her tear-stricken face.

"Okay," Ruby breathed. "I'm sold."

"Agreed."

"Mmm."

o o o

Epirus walked through the door of his house, smiling at the sounds of a movie playing from the living room. He meandered over to see what was on, only to come to an abrupt halt.

Three teenaged girls and a middle-aged woman were all sitting on the couch together, embracing one another and blubbering emphatically.

He eyed the scene warily, noting the massive piles of used tissues littering the floor and the rather distraught state of the women occupying his house.

"Er…" he began hesitantly. "What are you watching, Lena?"

"Oh, hello Epi," his wife greeted him tearfully. "We're watching An Affair To Remember."

Now, he had been married for over two decades by this point. He loved both his wife and his daughter dearly. He'd also grown somewhat in both maturity and experience since the beginning of his marriage. And he was certainly acquainted with many of the movies from his generation.

He well knew the movie in question.

Unrepentantly and unhesitatingly, Epirus Nikos turned around and fled his own home in terror.

A/N: So, the movie is, as I noted, An Affair To Remember but with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. And for those not into classics, much of this, including a lot of Helena's lines, are taken from Sleepless in Seattle. Wait, that can't be considered a classic, can it? Gods, I hope not, that would seriously make me feel old.

Whelp, you guys did it. Over the weekend we broke 100k hits (squee!) and 400 follows (double squee!). Reader OutSquash13 is lucky number 400, you get a virtual cookie and a big hug! As a reward for everyone, I put up a new chapter of Thorny Bind, the fluffy smut companion to this story. And yep, it's the Freezerburn one. Enjoy!

Seriously, when I started out writing this crack ship, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it reaching six digits in hits. You are all amazing, thank you so very much.

Much love to my wonderful collection of faithful reviewers: DschingisKhan, ExKage, Jack Inqu, makoto-18, RedWing36, Boombox94, THB4, ILikeHotDogs, Reaper Whisper (a.k.a. LE), kaiju62, Staticquake143, WyattMoore, SamuraiShippo, Marauderby, MakaS0ul, and Gorsouul. Thank you all once again for the kind words and humor!

Stay shiny!