Chapter 37

As I Recall

Lying in her stone bed worrying over the details of her parentage did nothing but make Juliet extremely tired, and she groaned as she tried to find a comfortable position. She vaguely recalled being as uncomfortable in the cavern she'd dwelled in beneath the tunnels. Tossing and turning on the cold dirt floor with her head on a rucksack, unable to sleep due to the pounding of her own heart. The voice in her head telling her they could arrive at any moment. She'd become paranoid, unable to sleep. She heard voices echoing through the narrow halls, whispers and laughs and she felt herself being watched.

But she stayed put. She knew, eventually, he would come to her.

She'd lay there in the cold and the dark and consider searching further in the mountain. A few times she did, sneaking into the halls. She would only take a few steps before she would run back to her little cave, determined to keep her presence a secret, even as her curiosity grew more demanding.

Juliet sighed. How was it she could remember certain things so clearly, but had no recollection of exactly how long she had stayed in that cave? She'd had food and water for weeks, but had she actually been there for that long? Had it really been over three months since she'd left on this journey that all had believed would be fruitless?

It had been six years since she'd felt normal, what was three months in all that time? Six years with the hunters, four before that since she'd first started itching for answers about Mika ver Leth. A decade lost. 'Lost? Perhaps not.' She wondered. Finding this mountain had opened up many thoughts she had pushed to the back of her mind. Thoughts about her and Mika, about what their lives could have been. Seeing him in his full glory, naked and brimming with strength the other night reminded her of the nights they'd spent together in her youth. Of sweaty bodies and laughter and wine that she hated but would drink when he asked her if she wanted some.

She hadn't thought of those times in so long. The moment she'd recoverd from the fire she'd pushed all thoughts of Mika from her mind. Partly because she blamed him for the loss of her home, partly because nobody wants to dwell on their ex-boyfriends. He'd been her first lover, but not her last. She'd enjoyed nights with many handsome men since then. It's not as if she thought about Mika while in the throes of passion with another man. She had moved on, truly. Though sometime she couldn't help but remember the way he'd touched her, he'd been her first. And he had been good, very good. Skilled.

Juiet huffed and rolled her eyes at her own thoughts. This is why she hadn't thought about him, because it made her miss him. She hadn't missed him in forty years then suddenly she was pining after him with a fury that made her head swim. She wanted to hear him bed for forgiveness. It was as if he'd bored a hole in her mind and made camp, poking her and prodding her until she hated him. She had no reason to hate him. She had no proof he set the fire, and yet she found herself blaming him for it. Even the miscarriage. She thought perhaps he'd known something and fled from his responsibility, but at the same time, she had had a hard time believing his nose was THAT good, to smell pregnancy on her. She hadn't even realized. They'd been together months, protection wasn't something that was thought about back then, and if Mika had believed himself barren, as she now knew, then he was right to not use any. She hadn't known any better. In her naiveté she'd thought perhaps they'd get married. She had hoped. But in the end it wasn't meant to be. Besides the sex was great.

Again she growled at her own thoughts. The last thing she needed was to be pining after the man's body, after she had clearly told him to forget about the possibility of the two of them every getting back together. She had meant it. She hated dwelling in the past, it's impossible to live with yourself when you don't age and all you do is wonder about people or things that are long gone.

But still, her memory was perfect, for an amnesiac. She was irritated by the gaps in her mind for the past ten years. Since she'd become enraged and obsessed with finding Mika she'd become so forgetful. Blacking out and finding herself home or in Istanbul, or in Paris. She didn't know how it happened, but time after time when she came to her senses she was one step closer to finding him. Until finally she was at the mountain and her insides screamed at her to end him, to end everything.

Right then she wanted to scream, for not knowing how she could lose so much time. For allowing it to happen. For not having the self-control to say 'NO'. This changed her life, her life which had been so tranquil and peaceful. Now here she was in a mountain surrounded by Vampires, who she had sworn to kill on sight at some point in the past few years, with no way out, no way home, and no allies save a boy who was one of their leaders who had a crush on her, and the man she had come here to kill, but had instead spared her life.

"I'm fucked." She groaned, placing her arms over her eyes to block the light of the torches.

She didn't know exactly why these Vampires were giving her such strange treatment, but she took their leniency as a chance to get back in those tunnels, hoping to remember some things if she was back down there. She hopped to her feet, regretting it as she felt her stitches stretch in irritation. She went to change out of her clothes, wanting to be able to move with ease and knowing the flowy black cotton pants would get caught too easily in the tunnels. She reached for the Daisy Dukes Seba Nila had so hilariously given to her when she asked for shorts and put them on with some difficulty, trying not to stretch too much. She then grabbed the thick black sweater he had given to her for when she was feeling cold and shrugged into it, hoping the tough material would protect her midsection should she scrape against something. She would take her time to keep from getting exhausted, since she knew she could barely walk without getting winded. She finished the outfit off with the worn leather boots, hoping they would give her some traction and more arch support than the soft black flats she had been wearing.

As she approached the exit she spotted the guards against the wall, watching her warily. They made no move to stop her.

"Am I allowed to leave?" she asked.

The guards looked at each other, then one cleared his throat. "If you leave without an escort we are to tell the Princes immediately."

"Okay well tell them I'm going back to my cave." She shrugged and turned to walk away.

"They will send someone to bring you back." The guard warned her.

Juliet sighed. "Whatever they need to do." She continued walking.

It took her a while to make it to the entrance to the tunnels, she wasn't quite sure where all the halls led, but she knew she'd recognize it when she saw it. She had to make frequent stops to catch her breath, but appreciated the exercise. She could walk without leaning on someone, she just needed to pace herself.

As she got down on her hands and knees and began crawling through the tunnel she felt immediate familiarity with her surroundings. Dark caves don't all look the same, she'd learned that whilst living in one, but there was something off. She saw tracks leading in different directions at each intersection. Every fork had one trail leading down each path, it was confusing. She realized the Vampires must have had to come down here multiple times to make sure she was alone, so she shrugged it off. A few times she stopped and just lay on the ground, letting her body recover from the strenuous activity. Her abdomen was screaming, her lungs burning, but it felt good to sweat from actual exercise, not just a damn walk.

As the twists and turns became more and more familiar, Juliet began moving faster, excited to find the place where she had spent so many days, lost so many weeks of her memory. The torches that once lit the cavern had been extinguished and she had to slow herself when her eyesight refused to adjust any further to the darkness.

And she stopped completely when she heard voices.

They weren't voices she recognized, Juliet thought they must be Vampires Mika had sent down here to scour for more items. She was sure he was still investigating her life in the tunnels, and as she moved closer to the entrance she could hear what they said.

"This isn't a good place to be, they've been coming to this place over and over!" one voice whispered, frantic.

"I know, shut up! We're supposed to be looking for supplies, so shut up and look!" the second hissed.

"I'm lighting a torch." The first said, and Juliet heard the sound of stone striking against stone, and then there was a blaze of light, and she needed to cover her eyes in order to keep from being blinded. When she opened them and peeked into the room again, her heart stopped.

Two purple-skinned men stood in the center of her cave, looking around in vain. Juliet's breathing hitched as her heart began to beat rapidly. Vampaneze. There were Vampaneze in the mountain.

As Juliet tried to calm her breathing, her thoughts were moving rapidly. The Vampaneze were right before her, and she scooted behind the wall to where they couldn't see her if they turned around.

"C'mon Fletch, look around!" the second voice said, it was coming from the taller of the two, and Fletch, the one with the torch groaned.

"There's nothing here!" he said.

"True, but if we don't look for a good ten minutes Pask is going to know we didn't look at all!"

Juliet clenched her jaw. Pask, Fletch, and the tall one. How many Vampaneze were there?

"Like he thought we'd find enough to feed thirty men in here." Fletch growled.

Juliet froze. Thirty men. There were thirty Vampaneze hidden in this mountain? Why did this sound so familiar? Maybe she'd vaguely heard them talk about a similar situation that Darren had informed them about not too long ago, the reason he became a Prince… but-

Suddenly her head hurt, a deep seated throbbing starting from the center of her cranium. She fought back a moan, eyes shut tight as the light made the pain even worse. Thoughts flooded her. Images, memories. Standing in the snow, obscured by a fallen tree, watching as a large group of men climbed on ledges. Purple skin. She'd pushed it to the back of her mind, none of them had been Mika, but they had been useful. They showed her the way in.

Her eyes snapped open. Maybe she didn't know how long she'd been here, but she needed to move. Juliet maneuvered her body to try and turn to begin the crawl back but paused as Fletch spoke,

"When I Pask gonna send that scout out for reinforcements?" he grumbled.

"When we've explored all of the tunnels. Remember? And we can't do that without food, and I don't Pask finding a reason to cook and eat me! So you better hurry up so we can scrounge around these other caves!"

"He can't eat us." Fletch almost laughed.

"He'd find a way. You've never seen him mad." The other said, sighing.

Juliet knew she needed to move now, she had to get out of there before she was spotted, before they moved back into the narrow tunnel. She began to move faster than she had before, straining herself but desperate to get away. She needed to tell someone, Darren, Mika, Seba, maybe the bald one with the tattoos, he looked like he could break people.

As she made her way away from the Vampaneze in her old quarters, she slowed her thoughts and considered if telling the Vampires was a good idea. If there was some sort of scuffle she might be able to make it out during the fighting.

'But,' she thought frowning and scraping her thighs against the walls as she struggled to keep her movements silent. 'They may just kill me before I can escape…'