Marissa was a-buzz with excitement when Cara dropped her off at Tad's. She tried very hard not to wake the household as she stumbled quietly to the kitchen for a glass of water.

This evening with Bianca and everyone had been the best night she could remember; which was admittedly only went back a few months but still… She hadn't laughed so much, or sang so much, or drank so much, or just relaxed around people like that at all since her return from hospital. She had found a new part of herself and she rather liked it.

Marissa stumbled with her glass of water to sit at the kitchen table. She winced at the noise the chair leg made as it scraped on the floor as she sat down, but there wasn't a sound from the rest of the house.

No, Marissa had had a great night and a lot of it had to do with Bianca Montgomery, her best friend. Marissa found it so funny how Bianca's sister looked out for her and teased her mercilessly as well. When Kendall had sung that song just to make Bianca squirm, Marissa considered joining in with the tease – what would Bianca have done if she had kissed her like the song said? And then when Bianca sang – Oh boy that voice! But the most amazing part of all was when Bianca just reeled off all the little facts about Marissa as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to know every intimate part of her life. It was amazing and wonderful, that Marissa had someone who knew her, and cared about her so much.

No Bianca was amazing – which only made Marissa feel worse that she knew so little about her. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything about her, all the intimate details just like she knew about her. But she didn't know where to even begin… and then Marissa remembered JR's disc. JR told her it would tell her everything about Bianca; would that be cheating?

Marissa staggered back into the hall and rummaged in her handbag for the green cased disc and returned with it to the kitchen table. She then remembered she had to find her computer as well. She hunted around the living room until she found her laptop under the coffee table; all the while trying to be as quiet as possible. Not an easy job when your legs are so unsteady.

When she turned on the laptop the chime it made as it powered up sounded deafening to her drunken ears and she quickly scrabbled to turn down the volume.

Again she held her breath in case someone woke up, but the house slept on.

Sitting in front of the computer screen, the disc in her hand Marissa wondered once more if this was the right thing to do. If she wanted to know about Bianca then the person to ask was surely Bianca herself. It was partly her own fault after all. She had focused her mind on AJ and being his mother, ignoring everything else. And it wasn't just Bianca she had been blocking out. How much did she really know about JR or her mother? Maybe if she had used some of her energy in finding out about Bianca she wouldn't feel like she was missing out on knowing a woman she felt such kinship with. But then she remembered why her friend had stayed away from her; a fear and a stupid secret that had kept them apart for so long. If Bianca had only asked someone – a doctor at the hospital - she would know that she never hurt her. Instead she had hid it inside and Marissa knew that there was more that Bianca was keeping from her. She just had to know the truth.

With clumsy fingers Marissa slipped the disc into the computer and pressed play. For the first few moments she wasn't sure what she was looking at. When she realised what she was seeing her stomach did a flip and her eyes went wide. She suddenly felt very sober indeed.

"Oh god!" she gasped.

…