Northern Narwhals: Dakota, Leshawna, Max
Southern Starfish: Dawn, Staci, Scott, Brick
Eastern Eels: Eva, Anne Maria, Noah,
Western Weakfish: Courtney, Sugar, Ezekiel, Tyler, Leonard
Eliminated: Beardo, Sam, Sadie, Rodney, Katie
"Previously, on Total Drama Redemption," Chris starts as usual. "Katie and Staci's new friendship blossomed, until Scott tried to drive a wedge into it. Dakota and Zeke once again showed off their feral sides. The Northern Narwhals and Eastern Eels formed a truce, which lead the Eels to victory, and Scott's scheming lead the Starfish to defeat. Brick took the blame, but Katie took the shame. The ball of shame, that is." Chris laughs. "Teams are dwindling fast, except the Weakfish, surprisingly. How much longer can these teens last? Who will be 'cut' loose tonight? Find out tonight on Total. Drama. REDEMPTION!"
In a shining, purely white, tiled room, Eva, Noah, and Anne Maria sit comfortably in large black leather massage chairs, enjoying the spoils of the luxury suite.
"Victory feels nice," Eva sighs contently.
"Guess this is your first taste of it on this show, huh?" Noah remarks with a grin. Usually Eva would tear someone's head off for that, but Noah had earned her friendship.
"Yo, we got the best team now!" Anne Maria celebrates.
"She's right," Noah says. "Things like this take brains, brawn, and a smooth social game. We've got all three between us."
"You know it!" Anne Maria cheers, while shaking up a can of hairspray. Noah and Eva both stare at her nervously. "Right, I remember, don't worry." She stands up and strolls outside to coat her hair.
CONFESSIONAL: ANNE MARIA
"This is the bomb!" she yells. "Eve and I got this great understanding goin' here, see I spray my hair outside, and she doesn't wake me up early with her workout. We both win!"
As Anne Maria exits the building, she accidentally walks right into Ezekiel.
"Ouch, sorry eh," he says in his scratchy voice.
"Oh no no no no no, don't you gimme sorry!" Anne Maria snaps back. "Don't you think I forgot about season four! You can't just go grabbing the prettiest girl on the show, then hand her a fake diamond, a million ashes and trick her into quitting! Then you go 'round sayin' 'sorry eh' as if that's gonna make up for it? Sorry ain't worth a million!"
"Jeez, I meant for bumping in to you!" Zeke says in defense. "I barely even remember what happened after so long in that plane, but I'm better now eh!"
"Ya whateva." she says walking away and surrounding herself in a cloud of hairspray.
CONFESSIONAL: EZEKIEL
"There have been a lotta questions about how I'm normal and why Chris let me come back. Well my parents finally got a TV and found out about my near-death experience and stuff, so they went down to the studio..." Zeke trails off for a moment. "They can be really persuasive," he concludes, wide-eyed while chewing his fingernails.
Staci, Brick and Dawn are sitting on the steps leading up to their cabin.
"I hope now you two believe my warnings about Scott," Dawn says to them.
"I should've known not to give him another chance. I didn't know he lied to you like that, Staci." Brick adds.
"Yah, I hate liars." Staci says. Brick and Dawn pause for a moment and stare at her before continueing their conversation.
"I don't see too much of a problem though," Brick starts. "If he sabotages our team again, we'll just vote him off."
"I guess so, we'll just have to keep a close eye on him." Dawn says. Dawn Brick and Staci are unaware that hiding beside the cabin is Scott, listening to their whole conversation.
CONFESSIONAL: SCOTT
"I don't see a problem with lying," he starts. "In case they've forgotten, this is a game! And I just wanna win! I guess now I'll have to make sure our team doesn't lose..."
A deafening sound startled all the campers and lured them to the fire pit in the center of the cabins. Chris stood there with an air-horn, megaphone, and glistening smile.
"Hello, everyone!" he shouts. "Time for another challenge! Meet me by the lake!"
"What lake?" Courtney asks.
"Ugh, just follow me." he groans. Before long, the fifteen contestants are standing at the edge of a large, crystal blue lake. In the center is a wooden, hexagonal platform rising just above the flat water. A thin plank connected it to the land. "Everybody loves some good old fashioned sword violence with an added splash of watery danger, right?" The contestants stay quiet. "Well unfortunately the network denied my request for real swords, so these plastic ones will have to work. We're going to have a four way single elimination tournament. Everybody on your team has to go at least once. Knock the other person into the water and you score a point. Most points wins! The two winning teams from round one will compete for the luxury suite, while the two losing teams compete for avoiding elimination. And since I noticed a bit of a truce going on in the last challenge, first up we have the Northern Narwhals and the Eastern Eels! You have two minutes to decide who goes first, second and third. Go!"
"Alright, how do you guys wanna do this?" Leshawna says to her huddled teammates.
"Obviously the strongest, smartest, and evilest player should show his underlings how it's done!" Max states.
"Okay, so Leshawna's first?" Dakota asks.
"You think I'm evil?" Leshawna says with a slight glare.
"Uhm, I'll go first!" Dakota squeaks.
"Fine, I'll go second. Max, you're third."
"Why am I third?" he protests.
"Cause uh, we're saving the best for last?" Leshawna says with a fake smile.
"Oh, excellent!" Max laughs while rubbing his palms together. Chef approaches the scene with a gong on wheels and a mallet. He whacks the gong, ending the strategy time for both teams. Dakota steps forward and picks up a red plastic sword, while Eva does the same with a green one. Both girls walk across the narrow beam and to the platform. Chris lifts the beam and nods to chef, who strikes the gong again.
"GO!" Chris yells. Dakota glares at Eva, showing her sharp, fang-like teeth. Eva's eyes widen and she steps back.
CONFESSIONAL: EVA
"First Zeke, and now blondie? What's with these people?"
CONFESSIONAL: DAKOTA
"Okay, so even though my daddy paid those scientists to make me pretty again, my teeth still stayed kinda pointy. Still got my fabulous smile though!" Dakota smiles, showing off her razor teeth. "It's really not so bad cause my tongue got really strong too, see?" she then opens her mouth and lets her tongue hang out.
Eva shakes her head and regains her composer. She sprints towards Dakota and swings her toy sword, striking Dakota right in the face.
"Ow! Hey! No modeling agency wants a beat up face!" she yells, swinging her sword with one hand. Eva scoffs and rolls her eyes before smacking Dakota's side. Dakota falls over and Eva pushes her into the water with her foot. Noah and Anne Maria cheer for their first victory. Dakota pulls herself out of the water, along with the pink jellyfish that's resting on her head. She gasps and tries to grab it, but when she does it stings her, causing her to drop it back into the water.
"Forgot to mention the jellyfish, did I? Heh, whoops! Surprise!" Chris says, laying the board back down for Eva to walk across. "Eels get a point! Next pair!" Dakota passes the sword to Leshawna, while Eva hands hers to Noah.
"Great, of their whole team I get the biggest one," Noah vents as he walks across the plank and onto the platform.
"Biggest one?!" Leshawna growls. The gong sounds and she rushes towards Noah, delivering a strong and fast slide to his shoulder, sending him off his feet and into the water, with a girly scream. "Who's big now?" Leshawna huffs as she steps back onto the land. Noah squeaks again and doggie paddles out of the lake before any jellyfish can touch him.
"Excellent! A close match!" Chris says with delight. "Max, Anne Maria, you two are up." Both contestants grab their respective team's swords and step onto the platform.
"Be warned, I am an evil mastermind, and can defend myself if my underlings should fail!" Max says while making several awkward poses with his sword.
"Yeah, whateva" Anne Maria replies. The gong sounds and Max makes the first swing. A direct hit to the top of Anne Maria's hair. "Ooooh! Oh no you didn't! Tell me you did NOT just hit my hair with that thing!" she barks. She leaps forward towards Max, her plastic weapon swinging violently. Max shrieks and cowers in a ball against the hard wood, while Anne Maria zips passed him and off the edge. She resurfaces in a panic. "No! Not the hair! It's wet!" She cries as she swims to the edge and plucks a jellyfish off her shoulder. Within seconds she's coating her hair in hairspray from a can she seemingly got out of nowhere.
"And with that, the Narwhals move on to the next round!" Chris announces. "Be ready guys, some of you will have to go twice in the next round. But first, the Southern Starfish and the Western Weakfish will be going next! Starfish, one of you has to compete twice. Strategy time starts...NOW!"
"This is the perfect challenge for me!" Leonard proclaims. "I'm more than a mere mage you see, I've used swords to battle orcs, werewolves, and other monsters!"
"You fought a werewolf?" Sugar gasps. "Oh then you HAVE to go first!"
"Uff, fine. Leonard's first." Courtney scoffs. "Tyler's second, Zeke is third, I'll go fourth, Sugar's fifth. Sound fair?" Her team nods. Leonard grabs the yellow plastic sword, while Brick holds up a blue sword for his team.
"Be warned, my opponent. It will be hard to knock me off this platform once I start...levitating!" Leonard yells.
"Uh right, may the best man win." Brick says awkwardly in response. The gong chimes loudly, starting their match.
"Levitatus, mashed potatus!" Leonard shouts, waving his arms around. "I am now safe from your-WAH!" Brick strikes Leonard with a strong jab that sends him onto his back. "Ah, so you've countered my spell, foul beast! But I-Hey!" Brick whacks Leonard again as he stands up, this time it's enough to send him into the water below.
"One point for the Starfish!" Chris yells. "Next pair?" Tyler and Scott face each other on the platform.
"Against this klutz? No problem..." Scott sneers with a devilish grin. The gong echoes and the pair steps forward. Their swords clash with each other in a mass of clicking sounds as the plastic hits plastic. Tyler seems to be putting up a surprisingly good fight, but Scott's expirience getting raccoons out of his bedroom is proving to be useful. Scott finally lands a strong blow on Tyler's head, but Tyler delivers a powerful stab to Scott's gut, sending him over the edge.
"One point for the Weakfish!" Chris shouts over the team's cheering. The next duo to square off are Staci and Ezekiel. At the gong's signal, Zeke steps forward and whacks Staci with the sword, but she doesn't flinch.
"Hey did you know that swords were invented by my great great great great great great great great uncle Chester? Yah but he didn't get the idea until his great aunt Veronica invented knives, and before her people had to use karate chops to cut things and karate was invented by my great great..." As Staci babbles, Ezekiel is constantly batting her with his weapon, but she doesn't even react.
"Stop talking!" Ezekiel whines. His toy sword smacks Staci's unflinching head with each time she says "great." Her endless chatter begins driving him crazy. He throws his sword down and dives into the lake, where he is immediately surrounded and stung by the jellyfish.
CONFESSIONAL: EZEKIEL
A dripping wet Ezekiel is seen reaching under his hat and pulling out a jellyfish. "Was that more karma for what I said about women in season one? I thought I suffered enough for that! And there are people here who have done way worse stuff than me, eh!"
CONFESSIONAL: STACI
"Wow! I can't believe I won that!" she cheers. "In season four no one really gave me a fair chance. They were probably intimidated by how creative my ancestors were. Yah."
Courtney now wields the yellow sword for the Western Weakfish, with Dawn as her opponent. The same, fire breathing pink bird that's been following her lands on her shoulder.
"Uh how long are you gonna keep that pest around?" Courtney complains.
"Just until it can find its way to the sanctuary I built on Boney Island." Dawn says.
"Wait, you built a mutant sanctuary on Boney Island?" Coutrney asks, as her head quickly turns to Chris. "Chris, was the Fun Zone an animal habitat?!"
"Maybe." Chris shrugs.
"Fun Zone?" Dawn says, confused.
"Chris had us there in the All-Stars season collecting mutant eggs!" Courtney shouts.
CONFESSIONAL: DAWN
"After I was eliminated in season four, I explained that I'd sell all the Total Drama souvenirs online to build a sanctuary for those poor, innocent mutant creatures." Dawn recalls. "Someone with the username 'CodyFan64' bought all of them, but I didn't make as much as I had hoped, so Boney Island was the nicest location I could afford to use. I can't believe Chris harmed their eggs!"
"Chris, that's horrible!" Dawn shouts, but she is drowned out by Chef hitting the gong. With Dawn distracted, Courtney moves in to attack. The bird on Dawn's shoulder lifts itself into the air and spits a stream of fire at her, but Courtney is unfazed. She swats the bird away with her sword and sends it sailing through the air. "My blessed friend!" Dawn gasps. She swings at Courtney, but Courtney blocks her strike and sweeps Dawn's leggs, sending her tumbling into the water. The moonchild crawls out unharmed, with only one jellyfish swimming behind her. "Sorry I invaded your home, little one." She says. She quickly stands up and runs to retrieve her lost bird.
"The score is now tied at two each!" Chris shouts. "Next match wins. Starfish, who's going twice?"
"I am," Scott says.
CONFESSIONAL: SCOTT
"I have to go again," he starts. "If we lose and it's my fault, the others will definitely vote me out!"
Scott and Sugar now stand on opposite ends of the wooden battlefield. The starting gong sounds and the two rush towards each other.
"Kabam!" Sugar cries as she swats Scott away like a bug. She hits him so hard that he doesn't even land in the lake. Instead he slams facefirst in the dirt around the water. "Just be glad this wasn't no gun fight, vermin!" she taunts.
"And the Western Weakfish move on to the final round!" Chris announces. "Narwhals, since you only have three members, two of you need to go twice."
The first to fight are Max and Leonard.
"I am an evil scientist!" Max yells. "Magic has no effect on me! I don't believe in it!" Leonard gasps at this. He can't even reply. Everyone else just roll their eyes at this display. Instead they both start swinging their swords violently at one another. Leonard gains the upperhand and has Max dangling by one hand from the edge of the platform. Luckily, his short size keep him just above the surface. He reaches the red plastic under the water and scoops up a bright pink jellyfish. He then throws the animal and strikes Leonard in the face with it. It stings him, which gives Max, who has just returned to the platform, the chance to strike. He pushes Leonard off the edge and into the water.
"Nice job!" Leshawna says, high-fiving her teammate as he regroups with her and Dakota.
"It just shows that evil is-"
"Yeah yeah," Leshawna interrupts him as she grabs the toy weapon. Leshawna's opponent is Tyler. Leshawna's bulky frame allows her to withstand Tyler's attacks. Tyler strikes slowly due to his reluctance to hit a girl. He knocks the sword out of her hand, but she ends the fight by just shoving him into the water.
"Hey!" Courtney cries. "Can she do that?"
"Sure," Chris shrugs. "I never said you had to use the sword."
The third match is between Dakota and Ezekiel. At the start, they both growl and hiss, revealing their dangerous fangs. Dakota lets out a surprisingly vicious roar, but Zeke takes the opportunity to smack her with his sword. She rubs her head and whines for a moment before she drops into the lake from Zeke's second swing.
"Two to one!" Chris calls out. "If the Northern Narwhals get one more, they win! Next?"
Max is fighting again for the Narwhals, against Courtney for the Weakfish.
"Well," Courtney says. "If we don't need the swords, than I'll just do this!" She drops the yellow sword and instead picks up Max. Raising him over her head, she drops the short evil mastermind off the edge.
"Two-Two!" Chris calls again. "It all comes down to this!"
Sugar grips her sword, while Leshawna does the same.
"Bring it on, pageant queen! Let's see what you got!" Leshawna shouts to her opponent. The gong sounds. Both girls violently slash at each other with their weapons. They paused as a loud cracking sound was heard. The bases of their blunt blades had both snapped, leaving them with two useless handles. Sugar glares and throws her handle at Leshawna, hitting her in the forehead. Leshawna growls and tackles her, sending them both into the water. They both resurface simultaneously.
"Well, that was fun. Since Sugar hit the water first, Leshawna scores the point for her team meaning the Northern Narwhals win!" Chris confirms.
"Gawsh dangit!" Sugar shouts, with a jellyfish on her shoulder and streaks of mascara running down her face. The jellyfish stings her as Tyler pulls her out of the water.
"Well at least we're safe tonight, right?" Ezekiel says, trying to cheer up his team.
"Yeah, whatever," Courtney says.
"Next, we have the Eastern Eels and the Southern Starfish, fighting it out to see who sends someone home! Eels, one of you is competing twice!" Chris explains. For the first match, Eva is fighting Brick.
"Don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you, just because you're a girl, ma'am." Brick says confidently.
"I don't need you to go easy..." Eva growls. At the signal, Eva dashes towards Brick and whacks him in the crotch, causing all the remaining male contestants to flinch. With Brick stunned, Eva punches him in the chest and sends him toppling into the water below. Dawn, who has returned with her bird, pulls Brick gently out of the water.
"Don't worry." she whispers. "If we lose, Scott's still going home." Brick smiles and passes the sword to Scott. Scott looks worried as he picks up the blue toy. He steps into the ring to fight Noah. Almost immediately after the gong, Scott beats Noah repeatedly over the head before bashing him into the water in a really quick matchup.
"That was quick." Chris says bluntly. "Next pair!" Staci and Anne Maria are squaring off now.
"Staci, focus on the challenge, okay?" Dawn calls out to her. Staci nods, and swats at Anne Maria with the sword. Anne Maria takes a shot to the shoulder and glares.
"Oh no way! That is IT!" she yells, holding up her can of hairspray. She sprays Staci in the eyes with it. She yelps and drops the sword, rubbing her eyes frantically. Anne Maria rushes towards her but Staci blindly throws her fist, knocking her off the edge. As Anne Maria climbs back onto the shore, the water seems to slide off her thick hair, which looks as if it's still dry.
"Well with the score at two to one, the Starfish are ahead!" Chris reports. "But since everyone has to go once, Dawn must face off against one of the Eels. If she loses, we have a sudden death tiebreaker! If not, the Eels lose! Again!"
Eva reaches for the sword, but Anne Maria pulls it away.
"Oh no sister, I got this one!" she says. Eva growls and tries to pull the sword away, but Anne Maria refuses to let go. The struggle continues until Chris interrupts.
"Hey! You're supposed to fight the other team!" he snaps. "Noah! I've decided you're up again!" Both girls reluctnatly hand the sword to him.
"Hold my friend, please?" Dawn asks as she gently places her bird in Brick's palm. It opens its beak, revealing a sharp row of teeth that it proceeds to dig into his thumb. He winces in pain as Dawn walks onto the platform. "I'm not fond of violence," she explains.
"That's nice, can we just-" Noah is interrupted by a powerful swing. "Ow! Hey!" he swings at her a few times, but she gracefully avoids all of them. A gentle tap on the forehead confuses Noah, just long enough for Dawn to tap him again, knocking him over and into the water. "Sorry! Don't hurt him my aquatic friends!" she says. Dawn's team cheers while Noah's sighs, and Leonard watches with bright, wide eyes, still amazed by the power Dawn possesses.
"And the Eels lose once again!" Chris yells. "I'm so glad I split up your truce," he laughs.
Noah, Anne Maria and Eva sit in a familiar situation. A plate with only two marshmallows teases them from Chris's hand.
"Wow guys. I have to say, I'm surprised. And just this morning, weren't you guys talking about what a perfect team you three were?" Chris taunts. "Eva, you won both matches you were in, which is why you are the only one who is definitely safe tonight!" He throws her a marshmallow, making her smile. "Noah, you're a scrawny weakling. You got creamed by Leshawna, Scott and even Dawn!"
"Oh shut it McClean." Noah grumbles.
"Harsh..." he replies. "And Anne Maria. You cared more about your hair getting wet than winning. You lost to Staci. Staci!" he repeats for emphasis. "Even after you sprayed her in the eyes!"
"I've said it once and I'll say it again!" Anne Maria shouts. "A million bucks is nice, but these looks are worth a billion! Two billion, even!"
"I'm glad you think that, because you're not getting a million from me!" Chris says as he tosses the last marshmallow to Noah.
"Wait what?!" she cries.
Now standing in a giant, clear plastic ball, Anne Maria faces her teammates.
"Anything left to say?" Chris offers.
"Yeah, good luck to you two! You're gonna need it now that there's just the two of ya. And this show's ratings are gonna plummet with the most beautiful girl gone!"
"Aaaand that's enough!" Chris says as he flicks the lever, launching the Ball of Shame and its next victim out to sea. "How will the Eels fare with just two members? Will the Starfish ever trust Scott again? How will Noah recover from his embarrassing defeat at the hands of Dawn?" Chris asks. "Find out next time on Total. Drama. REDEMPTION!"