Note: The following is a fictional parody. If you are offended easily, please leave and have a nice day
Edited/Co-Written by DragonBall787
Chapter 4 - Cheese Moon
"Woman, I'm telling you that the moon is made of of CHEESE!" Zoro yelled at the top of his lungs whilst slamming his hand on top on his desk. He and Nami had been arguing about this subject since yesterday.
Nami, who was drawing a map out of crayons, just rolled her eyes while her eyebrows twitched, "No, it isn't Zoro...that makes no sense AT ALL!"
"Nami is right, how could the moon be made of cheese? It produces light..." Lucy chimed in.
Zoro stared at her and squinted, "I wasn't talking to you, Ms. Richie Rich! And if you're so rich, what do you propose?!"
"Well, we could to Walmart, which my family owns, and buy a telescope..." She shrugged lightly.
Zoro was silent for a moment before glaring at Lucy, "Fine! But since Nami thinks she so SMART, she's paying for the telescope!"
"Oh please, you and Gray are just going to steal it like you ALWAYS do!" Nami stuck her tongue out and got up, her eyes turned into Beli, "But fine..I'll take you on! If I win, you gotta pay me one hundred beli!"
Zoro shrieked, "YOU FIEND! If I win...you have to, um...give me THREE beli!"
Nami snickered at Zoro's stupidity, but took advantage of it, "*gasp* You MONSTER! But, I accept!"
Nami and Zoro both stood and walked towards the door, "Anyone else want to come? Luffy? Rukia? You guys good?"
"I'll come!" Luffy beamed as he stood up, "Oh this will be great! We will be three pirates!"
Zoro and Nami laughed in unison: "Oh please Luffy that will NEVER EVER HAPPEN! Not even in an alternate dimension!"
Luffy shrugged and walked out, Natsu followed him because of course he did. Naruto and Ichigo decided to sit this one out.
Gray got up and walked next to Zoro, "I'll come to see Nami finally eat her words!" He slammed his right fist into his left hand.
"That's it? Well alright" Nami said as the kids started to walk out of the classroom.
"Hey! You guys- oh whatever" Mr. Colgeen yawned, he sat down on his rolling chair and started to sleep instantly.
"So what are we supposed to do now?" Sasuke questioned while staring around the room.
Sakura leaned over to where Sasuke was and gave him a creepy smile, "So, tell me about yourself?"
Sasuke's eyes widened as he gulped in fear.
- At Walmart -
The kindergarteners entered the store and looked around in wonder.
"Wowwww!" Luffy's eyes turned into stars as he ran off.
"Why do his eyes do that?" Nami asked
" They've done that since I first met him, he said he doesn't know why..." Natsu said blankly while shaking his head in sadness, "Poor kid..."
Natsu then looked at a box in far away isle and gasped, "Igneel!?" He held his cheeks and gasped, "No way!"
"Natsu that's just a regular toy dra- andddd he's gone," Gray stated.
Zoro just ignored them and put his hands into his pocket, a cocky smile was plastered on his face, "Well NAMI, let's find that telescope so you can pay up!"
"Whatever, but I'd rather go alone...I am allergic to idiots!" Nami sneered, making Zoro glare at her.
"Ugh, this will be great!" Zoro exclaimed and he and Gray started to march down the isles, "Nami has been ruining my fun since forever! Now she swallow her foot!"
"Zoro, you do remember the pact don't you?" Gray sneered while squinting.
"Wait, what pact?" Zoro asked
"You know, our 'bros before h**s' pact we made when we were 5!" Gray reminded.
"Ohhhh! Of course I do! What makes you think- no...no no no no no! You don't actually think that, do you?" Zoro shook his head in disgust.
"Wellll, I mean you are obsessed with beating her, don't you think you should just move on?" Gray asked.
"Of course not! You have to crush your enemies!" Zoro yelled.
"Oh really? When's Nami's birthday?" Gray tested Zoro.
"July 3rd, why?" Zoro immediately answered.
"Nevermind dude..." Gray said, then proceeded to whistle.
- Wherever Luffy's at -
"Oh man! Just look at all this food!" Luffy's mouth watered and he started to cry tears of joy, "I am coming here with Grandpa from now on!"
He grabbed a box of cereal and ripped open the top, pouring all of the contents in his mouth.
"HEY! That was $6.75!" Someone yelled from a distance. He looked young, as if this was his first day on the job.
Luffy just looked confused, grabbing another box of cereal, "Look, I don't know what your talking about but I don't have any money
..."
The man growled, "SECURITY! SECURITY ON AISLE FIVE!"
Luffy gasped and two large men rushed towards him.
"AAAAH!" Luffy screamed as he ran off with the box of cereal.
The man smirked in victory but his boss' voice projected from his walkie, "Ned we need you on aisle seven, acts of protest going on!"
Ned stomped over to the lane and saw Natsu in a suit, holding a toy microphone.
"MY PEOPLE! OH MY PEOPLE! THESE ARE CLEAR ACTS OF RACISM! WHY IS IT THAT A DRAGON HAS TO BE KIDNAPPING A PRINCESS ON THESE BOXES!?" Natsu declared.
Ned just face palmed and walked over to Natsu, "Look, kid...I don't need this stuff today of all days, now please just take this free toy and leave!" Ned tried to hand Natsu a toy but Natsu just smacked it away.
"HOW DARE YOU TRY AND BRIBE ME!" Natsu yelled.
Ned started to sweat nervously as people around him shook their heads in disappointment.
'Dang it, I have a driver's test today! This kid has to scram quick!' Ned thought to himself.
- Nami -
While Nami was walking around humming, she spotted the very last telescope and smiled.
"Well it's time grab this telescope with no interruptions or anyone that can get in my way whatsoever!" Nami smiled as she reached over and grabbed the telescope.
Right when she was going to walk away, it was snatched from her very hands, "D***! I knew this was gonna happen!"
She turned around to see Frieza's smirking face, holding the telescope box, "Looking for this?"
"Listen you bald headed lizard, give me that back and I won't hurt you too much!" Nami threatened.
Frieza gave an evil chuckle, "You really think you can hurt me? Listen up, I'm the strongest fifth grader in elementary, well the fourth strongest, Alucard and Medaka and Pegasus are there, but still! For personally insulting me, I will grant you a death wish..."
Nami started to slowly back away, before taking off into a full out run.
"Man, I gotta stop talking so much!" Frieza cursed to himself before running after Nami, "Come back you b****!"
- With Zoro and Gray -
"Dude, why are we at the little girl's section?" Gray asked, both of them surrounded by pink, glittery clothes.
"I know where I'm going! The telescope is south from here!" Zoro announced, immediately walking west.
"Zoro, that's WEST!" Gray smacked his forehead, "You know what, follow me!"
The two started to walk towards the entertainment section, and by the time Gray got to the section with telescopes, Zoro was nowhere to be seen.
"...Zoro?...Aw s***! I lost him again!" Gray rubbed his temples stressfully.
- With Luffy -
"Alright look guys, it's Internet sensation Datipinya!" Luffy yelled.
The guards turned immediately and glanced around, "Where?"
"DA TIP IN YA MOUTH!" Luffy slammed the box of cereal into one of their faces and bit the other's leg, a shriek was heard all over Walmart.
"WHAT THE F*CK!?" The guard curled up in a ball and clutched his leg tightly, Luffy took this opportunity to escape.
He ran out of the Walmart and ditched his friends in the process, "They'll forgive me!" He said to himself.
- With Frieza and Nami -
Frieza sighed in exasperation as he could feel Nami's ki by the toy section, "Man, this is so boring when you can sense people..."
He decided to end the chase by phasing before Nami, who was cornered between the board games and the tennis rackets, "MWAHAHAHA! It's time for your death now! Any last words before I blast you to oblivion?"
"...Can I have a moment with my wallet?" Nami whimpered.
"...No!" Frieza charged up a ki ball, which was inches away from Nami's face, "Say hi to King Yemma for me, and tell him he owes me 5 bucks!"
But, before he was about to blast her to HFIL, there was a voice:
"GET THE F*** AWAY FROM HER!"
The ki ball dissolved as Frieza barely dodged a scissor attack.
There Zoro stood, with his two scissors in each hand and one was in his mouth, "Meet my three-scissor-style and prepare to face death!"
"...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Frieza couldn't help but bust out laughing at Zoro's words, "Jeez, kid you took it to a whole 'nother level when they said 'Don't run around with scissors'!"
Zoro glared at Frieza and put his bandana on his head, "You asked for it..."
Frieza chuckled and teased, "What are you gonna do, kid? Cut me to pieces-"
"Oni Giri!" Zoro crossed his two scissors across his chest and placed the blade in his mouth horizontally behind them. Zoro then approached Frieza at a high speed and cut through by swinging the scissors across his chest, resulting in a descending diagonal-crossing slash from both scissors. The scissors in his mouth made a horizontal cut from the left.
As Zoro went past Frieza, a small amount of blood trickled from Frieza's cheek. Nearly three small 2 inch cuts were visible on his chest, and each side of his cheek.
Frieza's eyes were in dead shock as he saw his own blood drop in tiny amounts on the floor.
He started trembling in anger, and his ki started to rise, "You...you...you made me bleed! A weakling kindergartener who plays with scissors, made me, the Great and Powerful Frieza, bleed?! You...you...you will pay for this!"
Zoro gulped as he took a defensive pose in front of Nami. That was his first time trying out that move, and he didn't really expect it to work.
Frieza slowly walked towards Zoro until they were only a few inches apart. In less than a half a second, Frieza smacked Zoro away with his tail, sending him flying into the bikes.
"Zoro!" Nami yelled as she was too terrified to move.
Zoro groaned while trying to get up. He eventually got to his feet, but collapsed back into the bikes.
Frieza rose up into the air, and charged up his ultimate attack, "Prepare to die, human-"
"FRIEZA!" A voice screamed from a few aisles away.
Frieza paused in his attack as he saw Goku Instant Transmissioned right in front of him, "Well, well, we meet again,"
"Frieza, I swear if you touch another living being, I will destroy you!" Goku threatened.
"Hmph...you really think you can beat me?...Fine, I'll rest...for now, but just wait- I plan to become immortal and destroy this Earth soon!" Frieza chuckled evilly as he planted himself onto the ground, and calmly walked out of Walmart.
Goku looked down at the two kindergarteners for a moment before his stomach growled. He turned pink and chuckled sheepishly, "I'll see you guys later...I'm starving!"
He then used Instant Transmission to disappear once again.
"Zoro! I'm here to kick some a**" Gray yelled as he ran over to the destroyed kids' section.
"Where were you!?" Nami growled and slapped him.
"Hey! I was playing NBA 2K16! The demo is really nice!" Gray defended himself.
"Yeah yeah, let's just go" Zoro grabbed the telescope and limped out the store. Nami and Gray followed him.
30 seconds later Natsu walked out and the store exploded.
BOOOOOOOM!
"What did you do!?" Gray questioned.
"Eh..." Was all Natsu said as he walked towards the forest.
Meanwhile, Ned cried and sulked,"I'm totally gonna get fired!"
"Ok then..."
-Zoro's House-
"Man, the Moon IS just a rock!" Gray said in disappointment, "Well that sucks...oh well, hope you have 100 Beli, Zoro..."
"You KNOW I don't have 100 Beli!" Zoro screamed at Gray.
"Oh well..." Gray gathered his stuff and left.
"So, since I can't pay, what are you gonna do?" Zoro smirked, thinking he was off the hook.
"Easy, I'm gonna add it to your debt," Nami shrugged.
"EH?! I HAVE A DEBT TO YOU?!" Zoro yelled.
"Of course! You don't think I let you borrow my colored pencils for nothing, do you?" Nami shook her head at Zoro's stupidity.
"I saved your LIFE! You owe me now!" Zoro yelled.
Nami thought for a minute before nodding, "You're right, I do owe you,"
Nami walked over to Zoro and hugged him, making him turn red "What are you doing?! Get off of me, woman!"
She let him go and smiled, "There, debt payed,"
"Hey! A hug doesn't count!" Zoro growled.
"*sigh* So what do you want? A kiss?" Nami asked sarcastically.
'Yes,' Zoro thought, but said instead, "...Be my girlfriend,"
"What?! Why?!" Nami stared at Zoro like he was insane.
"I dunno, somebody's gotta protect you..and you DID hug me," Zoro stated.
"Well, what about your stupid pact?" Nami asked, "Gray's gonna be mad at you!"
"He'll get over it," Zoro said, "Now am I gonna walk you home, or not?"
"...Okay!" Nami hugged Zoro again, but he didn't protest. She then grabbed Zoro's hand, and leaned her head against his shoulder. The two then started to walk home
"You know...you still owe me 100 Beli..."
"WHAT?!"
Next Time: The Big Mistake