"Rick, can I talk to you?" Carol asked, approaching Rick and Rachel who were pacing around in front of the gate, waiting for Glenn and Maggie to return from a run that they'd gone on scoping out possible neighborhoods and such, having chosen to avoid the neighborhood where the accident had happened.
"What's on your mind?" Rick asked.
Carol looked at Rachel and then back at Rick.
"Could we talk alone, Rick?" She asked.
Rick looked at Rachel for a moment.
"Rachel, why don't you go take a break. Carol and I can hold the gates if they get back," Rick said.
Rachel didn't say anything, just nodded at him and smiled at Carol as she turned to walk away. Carol walked over closer to Rick and watched as Rachel walked off.
"What can I help you with?" Rick asked after a minute.
"It's about Judith," Carol said. She'd practiced this speech a few times in her head during the night, she'd practiced it over breakfast, and she'd practiced it while doing dishes, but she still hadn't perfected it and suddenly she couldn't really remember how she'd decided it was best to start it.
"What about Judith?" Rick asked. "Is something wrong with her?"
He had seen her at breakfast, sitting in her high chair eating what she'd been given, like everyone else. She'd seemed fine then, chattering away with whoever would listen to her.
"She's fine, Rick, nothing's wrong with her," Carol said.
Rick wrinkled his brow at her and shifted his weight, but it was obvious that he was going to wait for her to tell him whatever it was she had to say.
"She's growing up, Rick," Carol said. "I don't want you to be mad, but she's starting to call me Mama, and I don't want you to be surprised when you hear it. I didn't tell her to call me that, Rick, she just started…"
Rick nodded a little, his face fairly expressionless. Carol wasn't sure if he was OK with the situation or he wasn't, he hadn't offered any words yet.
"Carol, I don't hold that against you," Rick said.
"I'm not under any illusions that she's my child, Rick, I always intended to tell her about Lori, when she's old enough to understand," Carol said.
Rick smiled.
"I know you're doing right by Judith," Rick said in a reassuring tone.
Carol loosened up a little, suddenly aware of the fact that she was tensed.
"But Rick, you've got to figure out what you want to do," Carol said.
"What do you mean?" Rick asked.
"Rick, she's not exactly clear on what…well, she doesn't really understand what Daddy means," Carol said. "I think right now she thinks it's just another word for a man who takes care of her, or pays her some attention. She's not too old yet to learn that you're her daddy…if that's what you want her to think, but you're going to have to act soon."
Carol wasn't sure at all how Rick was going to react. They hadn't actually talked about Judith much, hardly at all since she'd been born and he'd been struggling with all of his issues surrounding Lori's death. Rick had been unstable for so long, reacting in the most unpredictable to ways to every situation, but now it seemed like he was more level headed, more reasonable.
"What do you think I should do?" Rick asked, cocking his head to the side, slightly.
"I don't want to tell you what to do, Rick," Carol said. "It's up to you to decide what you want to do. I just think that you need to do something if it matters at all to you that Judith regard you as her father."
"I don't think Rachel is exactly ready to take over as Judith's mother," Rick said. "She doesn't really seem even that fond of having Carl around, and I'm not sure that I would be able to take care of Judith by myself."
Carol felt her chest tighten at the thought. She had already talked herself through this. If Rick wanted to take the girl back, then she would let him take her back. She had no ground to stand on when it came to the girl and she was aware of that. It was better if he did it now instead of prolonging this.
"I don't mind taking care of her, Rick, if that's what you want," Carol said. She was concentrating on trying to keep her emotions from rising up in her voice or in her face, "but if you want her to come and live with you that's fine too."
Rick looked like he was thinking about it, and Carol was also acutely aware that he was studying her for a moment. She hoped that nothing about how she was feeling was visible to him.
"I think she's better off with you, Carol," Rick said. "There's a reason that Judith thinks of you as her mother, and that reason is that you've done everything for her that you can. You've been a mother to her. I don't want to take that away from her."
Rick was quiet for a minute and Carol nodded, releasing the breath she'd hardly realized she was holding. She took another breath and stood there, watching him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and looked away from her for a minute.
"That's fine, Rick," Carol said. "I don't mind taking care of her, I do love her."
"I know you do, Carol," Rick said. "I appreciate that, and she does too." Rick was quiet for another moment. "What do you think I should do, Carol? Just tell me what you think needs to be done."
"I can't tell you that, Rick, you've got to figure that out for yourself," Carol said quietly.
She could see on his face now that he was struggling with something. Maybe it was what was left over from the mourning he hadn't finished with Lori, maybe it was guilt at having abandoned his daughter for as long as he had, Carol really had no idea what he might be dealing with. She could imagine that Rick had a good number of things, of past actions or words, that he had to deal with.
"I just want you to do whatever it is that you need to do, before it's too late," Carol said.
"I don't even know if she's mine, you know," Rick said. Carol wasn't sure that he really meant for her to respond to that. He may have been thinking out loud, or he might have been searching for some kind of confirmation. Carol wasn't clear on what he expected.
"She's got your eyes," Carol said after a minute.
Rick just looked at her, nodding slightly, but not with any real conviction.
"She needs to know who her daddy is, whether or not it's going to be you or someone else. If you love her, and if you want to be her father, then you need to try to start making that somehow clear to her," Carol continued. "I know she's not mine, but it doesn't mean that I love her any less. I think we've come to a point where we define family the way we want to define it. Biology really doesn't matter anymore," she said.
Rick didn't respond, but he did look a little struck. Carol waited a moment and then quietly walked off, leaving him to think about what she had said, about what he wanted to do. She knew that Judith would be alright, regardless of what Rick decided about her paternity. If he chose to step up and try to be a father figure for Judith, then she'd be a lucky little girl with a father and more than enough doting uncles to take care of her. If he chose to remain outside of her life to some degree, she'd be fine since there was more than enough men in her life that seemed willing to fill the shoes that Rick would choose to leave empty. The call was up to him now, and there wasn't anything that anyone could do to push him to feel one way or another.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111
Maggie and Glenn were a little later getting back than they'd originally anticipated, but it was still well before sundown when they came into the gates. Tyreese, Daryl, and Beau were nearby, having been putting away some meat they brought back from a short hunting excursion. Carol was busy readying dinner, and only glanced in the direction of the truck.
Maggie crawled out of the passenger side of the truck looking more than a little excited.
"Y'all need help unloading?" Tyreese called when Glenn got out of the truck.
"Yeah, a little bit. We got some stuff, but not too much," Glenn responded. "We got a surprise while we were out."
"What kind of surprise?" Carol called out.
"Peaches!" Maggie called.
"What?" Carol responded.
"We got peaches!" Maggie called back, going around to the back of the truck and producing a burlap sack. "We got a lot of them!"
Maggie trotted over to Carol carrying the bag.
"Where on Earth did you get peaches?" She asked, taking the bag from Maggie and examining its contents. The only fresh fruit they'd come up with since this whole thing happened was a few berries and such that they'd come across here and there. Nothing to be too excited about.
"There's an orchard. We ran into it by accident," Maggie said. "There were a lot of peaches that were ripe, and others that are going to be ripe before too long. It looked like there were other trees and stuff there, but I don't know what they were. They weren't ready and the place is pretty overrun with weeds and all. We got all the ripe ones that we could, but I think before long we need to go back and see what else we can get."
"Looks like we're having a good dessert tonight," Carol said smiling. "I can put away whatever's leftover tomorrow. We brought in a few things from the fields today too, it's not much, but it's a look at what's coming."
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 1
"What are you doing?" Tyreese asked Carol. He had thought she was mending clothes, but she'd been working on the same pair of pants for the better part of the evening, her chair pushed up against the shelves that supported her lamp.
"Making something for Michonne," Carol said.
Tyreese looked at Michonne, who was sitting on the couch with her legs drawn up beside her, watching Daryl. He was crawling around on the floor with Hope, holding her hands and trying to convince her to let go of his fingers and stand without his support. Hope didn't seem entirely sure of the plan. She would walk all over the floor if he guided her there, letting her hold to his hands, but she was reluctant to let go of them.
Every now and again Daryl would use his thumb to gently push on of his fingers free from Hope's hands, first one, then the other. She would walk with him a second, one hand loose, and the other still clutching his other hand. Her face would be calm for a moment, until it dawned on her that one of her hands was unoccupied, and then she'd panic, grasping for him. He'd return both hands for a moment, let her get her confidence back, and then he'd use his thumb to push the other finger free.
"She's being very kind," Michonne said. "I told her that I didn't like a lot of the pants that they'd found, so she's putting one of the waistbands from some of the pants on a pair of pants that I do like."
"It's not that big of a deal," Carol said, "and they should stretch with you most of the way."
"What are you doing in return?" Tyreese asked. He knew the two women often did things on their own kind of barter system.
"She's agreed to can the attitude with me for at least two weeks," Carol said smiling.
"I'm sorry," Michonne said. "I said I was sorry."
Carol smiled but didn't look up from what she was doing.
"I told you, it's fine, I'm not mad, but I will appreciate the vacation from your attitude when I'm only trying to make sure you're taking care of yourself," Carol said.
"I agree," Daryl said, "You can keep watering crops, but you don't need to be haulin' the water. There's plenty of others that can be doin' that."
Michonne didn't say anything.
"Oh, and by the way, the deal also includes that she's got to can it with Daryl for two weeks too," Carol added.
Tyreese chuckled.
"She's got you tied now, doesn't she?" Tyreese said.
"It's fine," Michonne said. "Daryl's been at me for a couple of days."
"Actually," Carol said, "in all fairness to Michonne she apologized and agreed to not be as hard headed before I even suggested trying to solve her frustration with her clothes."
"Man, she could do this if she'd just let go a' both and trust herself," Daryl said, interrupting them.
Hope was clinging to one of his fingers and whining, having just realized again that one of her hands was free.
"Be patient, Daryl," Michonne said. "She's doing really well, but right now she still trusts you far more than she trusts herself."
Daryl smiled. He did like the idea that Hope trusted him like that, but he wanted her to understand that she was basically walking on her own. She was hardly even pulling on him, and he was certain that he wasn't holding her up at all. She was walking, she just didn't believe it.
"Should I shuck both her hands at once?" He asked, looking nerviously at Michonne. "I don't want her ta think she can't trust me, but she's doin' it on her own, 'Chonne."
"She's using you as a security blanket," Michonne said. "Give her another day or so to try on her own, and if she hasn't started doing it on her own we'll do it a different way. I'll sit on one end of the room and you'll sit on the other. Then we'll put her down and try to get her to walk back and forth between us."
Daryl nodded at Michonne and continued his tour around the living room, leading Hope, with Judith toddling around beside him, watching every move that he made with Hope, asking him a variety of questions that he couldn't entirely understand.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11
AN: OK, so there's another little short piece to our tale. No worries, I've been doing a little planning and there's a lot ahead of us for those of you who are still with me.
On another note, I'm also working on some plans for some other Walking Dead fanfics. I'm certainly not giving up on this one, no worries, but I'm thinking there could be some others in my future. One that I'm considering doing is a collection of one shots or stories that consist of maybe only a few pieces. If you have any particular one shot that you'd be interested in seeing, AU or otherwise, feel free to message me with what you'd be interested in. If I feel moved by your prompt, I may actually write a one shot to go with it.
As I said, though, these are plans I have for possible future writing. I may start some of them soon so that my muse can play in various places depending on my mood, but please don't worry, I have no intention of abandoning this story at all.
