"This is gonna be sooo cool!"
Normally such an exclamation might be attributed to a certain team leader with red-tipped brown hair, or perhaps a hammer-wielding pinkette, or maybe even a blonde brawler with a penchant for even more destructive tendencies.
For all three of them to utter the same phrase, at the same time, spelled certain doom for all of those assembled on the airbus.
"We're doomed," Weiss groaned, giving voice to popular opinion.
Pyrrha smiled gently. "Surely it cannot be all that bad?"
The platinum-haired girl gave the taller Amazonian warrior an incredulous look, one with was shared by her teammate.
"You do remember who we are talking about, do you not, love?" Blake asked with a humorous twinkle in her amber eyes.
Pyrrha opened her mouth once more, only to let it drift closed as she regarded the excitable trio consideringly. "Perhaps you may be correct," she murmured.
From the other side of her, a mint-green head of hair poked around her shoulder. "Just how much trouble could they possibly get into?" Emerald asked curiously.
Around her, Blake, Pyrrha, Weiss, Jaune, and Ren all shared a glance before chuckling loudly.
"You have no idea," Jaune snickered, giving his date for the evening a bump with his shoulder.
Emerald gave a rather disgruntled snort as she leaned back once more, warily eyeing the three ecstatically chattering girls across from her.
"Relax, Emerald," Weiss sighed. "You will only have to deal with Yang and Nora at the party. Ruby will be staying behind with her girlfriends."
"Yes, she's decided we should be trick-or-treating instead," Pyrrha stated with a wry smile.
Blake added a grin of her own. "She was very persuasive."
The green-haired girl shifted slightly, grasping her overnight bag in her arms. "Yes… Er, about that…" Her coral eyes drifted over to where Blake and Pyrrha sat, contentedly snuggling together.
"Yes?" the pair responded with identically droll tones.
"Okay, that's just creepy," she murmured in reply. "But seriously… The three of you? In a relationship? How does that even… work?"
Blake and Pyrrha shared a grin. "Quite well, actually," the Cat Faunus replied smugly. She gave a little eep as a red-clad form hurtled into her lap.
"You guys talking about me?" Ruby giggled, leaning up to give each of her lovers a peck on the cheeks.
"Why, were your ears burning?" Pyrrha asked with a soft smile.
The brunette rewarded them with her particular lecherous trademark smirk. "Nope, other things were, though…"
"Ruby!" her girlfriends exclaimed, the both of them pushing the laughing girl off of their laps.
"Okay, I withdraw my question," Emerald interjected. "I think I get the idea." She turned to Jaune with an eyebrow raised. "So she's topping the both of them?"
"Um…" the blond hedged, blushing brightly.
"Yep, she sure is!" Yang called out cheerfully.
Ruby, by this point, had dragged the other pair down with her, and they were currently entangled in a giggling mess of limbs on the floor of the airbus, heedless of any other passengers observation.
"Right," Emerald murmured before turning to the others. "You really are an odd group."
From the pile of wriggling body bods, a hand was thrust upwards with a thumb raised.
"Yep!" Ruby cheered.
o o o
The island of Patch was normally a rather sedate, lackadaisical place. One night out of the year, however, the residents tended to cut loose with parties, decorations, and a veritable crowd of ghouls, goblins, and ghosts.
The nine teens smiled indulgently as they dodged some of the smaller children as they scurried about while it was still daylight, led by parents around the neighborhoods.
"Halloween is definitely one of my favorite holidays," Nora giggled, skipping happily alongside Ren while gripping her boyfriend's hand tightly.
"Really?" Weiss deadpanned in a rather admirable imitation of Blake. "We hadn't noticed."
Nora opened her mouth to retort, but Ren leaned over and gave her a quick peck on her lips. "Sarcasm, love," he murmured.
"Ooooh, gotcha. Thanks, Renny."
"So do you all do this often?" Emerald asked curiously. "Return to Patch for the holiday, that is?"
"Nah, not for Halloween," Yang returned breezily, her arm wrapped around Weiss' shoulders and lending her considerable body warmth to the heiress. "We did for Yuletide last year, though, and we're all gonna be here this winter break too. Likely have dad pick us up again then like he did over the summer, won't be as nice out as it is now."
"Hey, Em," Ruby piped up from where she strode along in between her own girlfriends, hands clasped with each other. "Where do you call home?"
She blinked hesitantly at the frantic hand-waving by Jaune behind Emerald's back, but the mint-haired girl responded levelly anyways.
"Don't really have a home," she returned in a monotone. "Originally from Mistral, though."
"Oh," Ruby murmured, downcast for only a brief moment. "Well then, you should totally come visit us for Yuletide!"
"Er… pardon?" Emerald asked, nonplussed.
"Yeah, it'd be totally cool, I mean, Blake and Pyrrha will be there, and Weiss..."
"I'll think about it," the other girl replied after a moment's hesitation. "Um… thanks for the offer."
"You bet!"
Jaune nudged her with his elbow. "Really, that's just the way she is," he whispered. "She hates for people to be lonely."
"It's very sweet," Emerald whispered back. "I'm not sure, though, if I could handle all of…" She waved a thin hand aimlessly to encompass the trio of girls as well as both Yang and Weiss. "...That."
Jaune snorted softly. "Try living across from them," he chuckled.
"Heard that," Yang called out cheerfully.
"And you know I'm not wrong," the blond retorted.
"Never said anything of the sort," Yang smirked.
o o o
After quite a bit of walking, they eventually arrived at the Xiao Long household to be greeted by a towering zombie with matted blond hair. Tai grinned at the group, setting his bowl of candy down to pass out hugs instead.
Pyrrha and Blake were once again reminded of where Yang got her propensity for smothering hugs from, and Weiss was reminded she needed to make a chiropractic appointment soon.
"So good to see you girls!" the hulking Hunter effused. "And who all do we have here?"
Intros were passed around, followed by more hugs. Curiously, though, Emerald managed to disappear briefly from the end of the reception line only to reappear by Pyrrha's side. At the pleading look in her coral eyes, the taller redhead grinned and protectively tucked her in behind her.
"Well, we should have plenty of rooms inside for you all to change in, Yang and Ruby show them around, okay? How far away is the party?"
"Just up the street," Yang reassured him as she ushered the others inside. "We can walk, heck, we walked here."
"Yeah, okay, just lemme know if you need picked up."
Yang grinned at her dad's thoughtfulness. He'd come a long way from the mostly-wreck after losing Summer, maybe not the model dad but one she was happy to call as much a friend as a parent.
"Will do, thanks, dad."
Before too long Ruby and her girlfriends were standing in their room, having all turned their backs previously to change in order to circumvent any potential distractions.
"Okay, you are too adorable fluffy fox," Ruby giggled, eyeing the tall redhead dressed as an angel, complete with flowy white robe, wings, and a fuzzy golden halo suspended by wire over her head.
"Oh, I think our kitty cat here has me beat," Pyrrha grinned. The Cat Faunus was dressed as a witch, sans the stereotypical tall black hat so that her furry ears might be free. She otherwise had a rather slinky, low-cut black dress and carried a broom.
"Mmm," Blake murmured, sauntering over towards their brunette lover. "But what about our adorable little rose here?"
Ruby was dressed as an absolutely precious vampire, which, granted, her predilection towards a more gothic line of clothing wasn't terribly far from her usual. Plastic fangs and her red cloak completed the outfit.
She gave a toothy smile at Blake as she approached. "Mind if I drink from you?" By the way her eyes lowered down past the Cat Faunus' waistline, the double entendre was glaringly obvious, causing both of the other girls to blush furiously.
"Really?" Pyrrha deadpanned in a rather admirable imitation of the raven-haired girl.
"Oh, don't worry fluffy fox," Ruby smirked. "I'd love to… drink… from you as well…"
"Right," Blake groused, grabbing the both of them by their hands and dragging them out of the room. "We're going to wait for the others in the main room before this descends into exactly what it usually does…"
"Aww…" the brunette whined half-heartedly. "But Blakey…"
"Come on, little rose," Pyrrha chuckled, wrapping an arm around the shorter girl as they headed down the hallway. "Save it for the evening."
"Hmm, I suppose vampires do work better at night, don't they?" Ruby asked humorously.
In the living room, both Jaune and Emerald were already sitting on the sofa, chatting quietly. There was a respectable distance between the two, but Ruby noted that it was considerably less than what it was on the airbus. Progress, she supposed, even if she still had the same biting, sarcastic humor as before Jaune had asked her on perhaps the strangest first date ever.
Before Ruby could begin grilling the pair on how a Halloween party off-campus was what finally broke down her reservations, the others of the group began all filing in, glancing around at the costume choices for the evening. Some, like those of Ruby and her girlfriends, as well as Emerald's choice of white bikini top and shimmering green dress for a mermaid, were quite obvious. Others…
Everyone was staring at Nora foremost. In retrospect, the theme was clearly discernable. The execution, however, gave cause for some concern. Pun intended.
"So, this…" Weiss remarked levelly, waving her hand across the very large cardboard contraption around the orange-haired girl's torso, decorated as a box of Pumpkin Pete's. It was even complete with the smiling visage of Pyrrha on the front.
"Yep, pretty cool, huh?" Nora chirped.
"Nora, dear," Pyrrha remarked, appearing a little nauseous as she looked askance at the bloody plastic knife protruding from the forehead of her facsimile. "That is a little disturbing."
"Mmm," Blake agreed warily.
"But I'm a Cereal Killer!" the hammer-wielder protested.
"Yes, nobody's debating that, but…" Pyrrha paused as she regarded her brunette girlfriend warily. Ruby had her hands clamped over her mouth, her entire body quivering with her attempt to stifle her laughter. Tears of mirth were streaming down her reddened cheeks.
The redhead just sighed and shook her head, regarding Ren next. "And you, Ren? What exactly are you supposed to be?"
The raven-haired boy looked down at his white tee shirt, emblazoned with writing that spelled out 'Go ceiling go! You're #1!' on it.
"I'm a Ceiling Fan," he replied, nonplussed.
Several groans chroused throughout the room. "Yeah, okay, that one's bad for even Yang," Weiss deadpanned.
"Hey!" the blonde protested, recovering from her own bout of suppressed laughter from Nora's getup.
Ren gave an embarrassed shrug. "Well, it was Nora's idea."
"I happen to like it," Yang declared, giving her girlfriend a challenging look.
"And somehow that does not reassure me," Ren murmured in return.
Before the conversation could deteriorate further, Blake suddenly let out an uncharacteristically loud laugh. She blushed furiously as everyone regarded her, but she could only shrug and pointed towards her platinum-haired teammate. "Sorry, I just got her costume."
Weiss, though, was beaming at her brightly. "I knew you'd be the first to comprehend, Blake!"
Glancing at her partner in confusion, Ruby screwed her eyes up to read the words scrawled across the slip Weiss was wearing, such as libido, oral fixation, id, ego, and penis envy.
"I don't get it," the brunette mumbled.
"It's a Freudian Slip," Blake sighed humorously.
"Ooohhh…"
Weiss smirked proudly, though Yang was quick to denounce both her girlfriend and her partner as a bunch of nerds, only to earn herself a smack on either arm by each girl.
"Okay, well I get yours, Emerald," Ruby spoke up. "Nice mermaid. But Jaune?"
Emerald sighed in amusement as she gave Jaune a smirk. The blond's vision snapped back up from where he'd been ogling her, though she looked slightly pleased from catching him in the act. "Would you care to explain?"
Jaune leapt to his feet, his outfit on display for all to see. He wore orange shorts, a pink tee shirt, soft purple backpack, and a long, fake grey beard, while carrying a plastic wand.
Before he could open his mouth, however, Blake facepalmed with an audible smack. "Oh my Oum, Jaune, really?"
The blond nodded unrepentantly. "Dumbledora the Explorer," he confirmed triumphantly. Soon thereafter he was dodging pillows that followed the numerous pained groans.
"Right, then, that just leaves me," Yang announced proudly. "Nobody guessed it yet?"
She stood in the spot Jaune had vacated, fists on her hips. The blonde had a tiara perched in her luxurious locks, and a white gown under a red velvet cape. The odd aspect of the getup were the numerous stuffed puppies and kittens sewn into the cape, all along the length of it to where it brushed along the floor.
Staring incredulously at the slow shakes of her friend's heads, she sighed melodramatically. "I'm Reining Cats and Dogs!"
By unanimous vote, hers was declared best punny outfit for the evening, hand-down.
A happy yip heralded the arrival of Zwei from wherever he'd been roaming the neighborhood. It was an even bet he'd been either trick-or-treating on his own or chasing some of the older kids for the fun of it.
He happily accepted the lauds and praise from most of the assembled teens (a certain Cat Faunus notwithstanding), before ending up perched at Emerald's feet. The two of them regarded each other levelly before Zwei slowly stood up, trotted towards a sandaled foot, and began to lift one of his legs.
"Zwei, no!" Ruby scolded loudly, chasing him off. "Bad dog!"
Emerald looked around, perplexed. "Did he seriously just…"
She trailed off as Blake sidled up to her. "Now you understand," the raven-haired girl intoned ominously before retreating once more, a knowing look on her face.
The green-haired girl watched her depart as if she'd grown a third head. "See, this kinda stuff is why the entire school thinks you're all a bunch of nutcases."
The rest of the group of Hunters-in-training blinked and looked at each other consideringly.
"Well, they're not wrong," Ruby shrugged.
Emerald just pinched the bridge of nose and sighed wearily.
o o o
Ruby skipped along happily at the head of her three-person entourage. The sun had set, most of the smaller children returned to their homes and the neighborhood given over to the older trick-or-treaters.
Blake looked around bemusedly at the other costumed revelers. "Why is it we seem to be the oldest out here tonight?"
"'Cause we are," Ruby replied cheerfully, her red cloak streaming out behind her as she danced back and forth. She skidded to a halt in front of Blake, leaning up on her tiptoes to plant a wet kiss on her lips. "But this is tons more fun than any party, right guys?"
"Yes, of course it is," Pyrrha smiled gently, pulling Ruby over to herself next for another kiss. "Because we're with you."
"Aww," the brunette giggled. "Just for that, I'll make sure to drink extra long from you when we get home."
"But Ruby," Blake murmured in her best sultry voice. "I've been so willing to please you, my mistress…"
Ruby almost choked on her laugh as she fell against Pyrrha, her face a bright red. "Ooooh, yeah, you got me there, kitty cat. Guess I'll just have to take my time with the both of you."
"Won't it be a little… awkward?" Pyrrha asked hesitantly. "I mean, with so many others there?"
"Not like the others aren't just as bad anyways," Ruby shrugged, towing the two of them over to the next house where she declared they always kept a stash of the big candy bars for older kids like them. "Well, except for Emerald, but she'd figure it out about us sooner or later."
"But we don't want to, er, scare her away from a potential relation with Jaune, do we?" Pyrrha pressed, worried for her partner.
Ruby paused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, yeah okay, good point. However…" She thrust her finger upright triumphantly. "We have two hours before they return from the party."
Blake snickered eagerly. "And just how long do you want to remain out here?"
Grinning, the brunette fastened her hands on each girl's wrists. "Ready for the Ruby Rapid Transit system of trick-or-treating?"
Remarkably enough, the three giggling girls managed to cover the entire, spread-out neighborhood in under a half hour.
For the rest of the time, up until the others returned from their Halloween party, Tai accepted the numerous compliments from trick-or-treaters regarding the higher quality of his soundtrack of spooky moans, groans, and shrieks with his usual aplomb, disregarding the fact that he'd unplugged his speakers some time earlier already.
A/N: The number of puns in this story is at an all-time high for me. It has the Yang stamp of approval. Also, yes, there is a sort of bittersweet irony with Pyrrha's costume… And then Ruby's costume is a subtle nod to my other fic in progress, Blood of the Rose. Other terribly punny costume ideas gathered from around the internet, because I'm horrible at coming up with them myself.
I kinda see a bit of myself in Tai, where there's not a whole lot that would faze him anymore after raising two teenaged girls. Just kinda go with the flow. And trying really hard not to think about what he's hearing. Which gives me an idea for… another omake!
Qrow staggered down the street, adroitly avoiding the scurrying forms of small goblins and ghouls.
"I hate this time of year," he sighed irritably. Too many fucking children running underfoot…
Finally he arrived at his destination, the Xiao Long house. Tai was sitting out front, relaxing in his zombie getup and a bowl of candy held at the ready.
"Hey old man," Qrow grunted, plopping himself down onto the porch and taking a swig from his flask. "How you holding up out here?"
"Eh, same as always," Tai shrugged easily. "The kids came by with their friends, should be back from their party soon enough."
"Ruby and her girls too?"
"Nope, they went out and came back awhile ago."
Qrow nodded easily before suddenly tilting his head to the side. "What was that?"
"What was what?"
"That… sound. Wasn't your usual soundtrack."
"Uh… yup. Upgrade."
"Upgrade of your soundtrack?"
"Exactly."
"Tai… that sounds like…"
"My new soundtrack."
"No, seriously Tai, it's…"
"MY NEW SOUNDTRACK."
"Oh." Qrow threw back another slug from his flask, figuring that he'd need it at this point.
It only gave him enough fortitude to last maybe half a minute more.
"Okay, yeah, I can't stay here. How can you even… I mean…"
"I have teenaged daughters, Qrow," the blond man smiled, ever so slightly too widely. "I hear what I want to."
"Handy talent, that. Right, well…" After a particularly loud moan, the raven-haired man turned and beat a hasty retreat. "Yeah, I'm out. See ya, Tai."
"Later, Qrow," the blond Hunter replied agreeably, smiling as another group of children, accompanied by their mother, walked up.
As he passed out the candy, the mother gave him a warm smile.
"Oh, I like the new soundtrack, Taiyang, very realistic."
"Thanks," Tai replied, the same too-wide smile affixed to his face. "It's new."
Snort. I amuse myself.
Got quite a bit of writing done while at the beach, all my stories pretty much. Even got a bonus Bind chapter lined up for when we hit 500 followers on this story (Only 3 more to go! Woohoo!), should start seeing some postings for everything this week! Thanks for your patience, it was a much-needed break from life! (I miss that hammock already, sigh…)
EDIT: Damn, people, should have known an offering of fluffy smut would provide incentive, lmao! Okay, new Bind chapter is up, enjoy!
Much love for my reviewers: Reaper Whisper, Jack Inqu, THB4, kaiju62, Marauderby, Boombox94, ILikeHotDogs, MakaS0ul, OverDude12, yosai, TacoKing23, Gorsouul, DschingisKhan, WirelessGrapes, and DeamonHunter. Happy 4th of July for all the Yanks out there, have a safe and fun holiday!
Stay shiny!