Chapter Fifty-Five

Times Have Changed

Since their nearly torrid encounter on the walk back from dinner with Steve, Mika and Juliet had been avoiding each other. Or rather, Juliet had been avoiding Mika, and he had been allowing her the distance. The Cirque du Freak was set to remain in the town for a few more days, and Juliet was trying to keep busy by working on her act.

'Trying' was the key word.

Every time Juliet had a moment to herself all she could think about was Mika's lips plying response from her. The feel of his body against hers. Nothing about the man had changed in all the time since they'd last been romantically involved. He still made the first move, he continued to hold her in a manner that made her feel dominated and secure at the same time, and his kiss was still godly. Juliet was infuriated by her infatuation.

'Just because I gave him a little forgiveness… he thinks he can just- what? Take things back to 1954? Pretend nothing changed?' she was fuming in her little booth, waiting for customers, unable keep the deep scowl from her face. 'He acted so macho around Steve, like laying claim on me. They both did.' She growled, clenching her fists.

A woman ducked under the velvet curtains, and Juliet looked up from her crystal ball, the object that had taken the brunt of her glares.

It was Truska. Juliet smiled weakly at the woman as she sat next her. Her look asked 'what's wrong?' Juliet shrugged, but Truska looked at her pointedly.

"Men are idiots." Juliet stated. Truska laughed, filling the darkness with a little bright. "I'm serious. Mika thinks a few months together as friends changes decades of me being alone, years of which I spent hating him irrationally. He made a pass at me last night-"

Now Truska shrugged, smiling knowingly at Juliet.

"What you think I wanted him to? No way, Truska. Too much history there."

Truska remained unconvinced.

"Okay, you know what? Maybe a small part of me does still carry feelings for him, but not the same way he does for me, you know?" Juliet sighed, falling back onto the pillows. "Can I speak candidly?"

No response, which was the equivalent of an 'Of course you can, girl.'

"Alright… so Mika and I were friends for a while before we became intimate. I think that's why it was so easy for me to just, I don't know, fall back into that friendship." Juliet chuckled. "The man is like a damn mountain, unmoving, unchanging. He was exactly how I remembered him, and that just made it easier. But… he wants more, again. He wants us to be more. I tried that with him, you know? It didn't work. He picked… them over me. And I know I shouldn't be upset about that- I've met the Vampires, they're great, really, but it still hurts. Knowing he'd always pick them over me. And that's just how I feel now! Previously I felt a whole cacophony of emotions, ranging from betrayal to disgust to hatred. If you had asked me ten years ago what I thought I probably would have just screamed, there were too many emotions, too many thoughts."

Truska placed her hand on Juliet's, looking down at the frenzied woman softly. She placed her other hand over her generous bosom and pat there for emphasis. "Heart." She said.

Juliet frowned. "Follow my heart, huh?" she scoffed. "Well my heart is saying 'head for the hills! It's the end times! Repeating your mistakes will get you nowhere!'"

Truska shook her head, clearly exasperated. She pat Juliet's hand in irritation.

Juliet smirked and giggled, realizing she was being chastised. "Okay, I get it. You want me to trust myself, right?" Truska nodded emphatically. "So because I really want to bone him I should just go for it? That's my instinct right now…"

Truska slapped her hand hard, laughing.

"Owwwww, okay!" Juliet huffed, bringing her hand to her mouth and frowning. Truska wore a lot of rings. "Okay, so what do I want? I don't know… maybe… maybe I want to try again. Mika was unlike any person I ever- uh- dated? But maybe that's just because… I never gave anyone else a chance." Juliet groaned, closing her eyes. "This is so stupid."

"Yes." Truska said, nodding.

"Thanks, Truska." Juliet rolled her eyes. "What am I gonna do?"

"Heart." Truska repeated. "You know."

"Deep inside, I supposedly know what to do. I should follow my heart since it will know what's best for me. Something something, blah blah, use the force."

Truska rolled her eyes and shook her head, patting Juliet one last time before motioning that she would leave. She smiled down at Juliet.

"Okay, thank you Truska. It was nice to vent, at least."

"Mika… heart." The Bearded Lady said, making Juliet look up at her inquisitively. "Juliet… smart." She waved and left the booth, leaving a confused and quiet Juliet behind.

'Mika heart, Juliet smart.' Juliet thought, staring up at the cloth hanging from the low ceiling. 'Mika is in my heart, I should be smart about my feelings? I don't know. Maybe she's right, maybe she's crazy.'

Juliet sat up and straightened her shirt and skirt, adjusting her scarves and jingling gold. If Truska had stopped by, it meant that the show was over and people were leaving, so she probably would get a few patrons before the night was over. 'Let's focus on work now, instead of Mika.'

Mika ver Leth knew what it felt like to be infuriated. He felt it every time he locked eyes with Juliet only to have her quickly turn away. As he wiped the make-up from his eyes he sighed, desperate to confront Juliet about what had happened, but knowing it would be best if they didn't.

The crowds were winding down and Mika resolved himself to Juliet's avoidance. Unfortunately he didn't plan running into her as she exited her booth, effectively knocking her into the ground.

"Dammit. If you're mad at me you just have to say…" she huffed as she picked herself up.

"I'm sorry Juliet. I didn't see you." He replied, offering her his hand, though she was already standing. She dusted off her long skirt, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I'm sure." She sighed. "You just accidentally bumped into me. Just like you accidentally locked your lips to mine."

"You and I both know that was no accident." Mika grated. "Are you upset with me for acting on my emotions? You realize that is not something I do often. I thought you would be happy to know how I feel."

Juliet groaned. "Why did I bring this up? I didn't even want to talk to you." She turned to leave, but Mika followed her.

"I have been giving you space." He said.

"It's been less than twenty-four hours. Keep the space for another…. Four years maybe." She snapped, continuing to storm away. Mika didn't relent.

"Juliet, please. Tell me what you're thinking!" he demanded as they neared their trailer.

"I did tell you, last night." She snapped, turning on her heel and forcing Mika into a hard stop. "Remember? Too much history, I can't see you that way, something along those lines?"

Mika's frown deepened. "What do you want me to say?" he said. "I will not apologize for my actions."

"Maybe not last night's actions anyhow."

Her sarcasm did not hide her meaning. "You wish for me to apologize for what happened nearly sixty years ago? Again? How many times do I need to tell you I'm sorry, Juliet? How many times before you believe me?"

Juliet growled. "You know how I said four years of space would be nice? Let's do another fifty. I suddenly realized how grateful I was to be without you all this time." She began to storm away again.

"Stop Juliet. We have to talk about this." He shouted.

"Not talking. Not to you. Not to anyone. I'm so over talking!" she screamed, exasperated. "I talk about my feelings and it just makes me more confused. You fucking confuse me Mika! Everything we've been through together and you haven't changed. I thought maybe it was a good thing, but maybe it's not. I have changed. I'm different. This isn't going to work."

"You are the same, just as I am." Mika stated, arms crossed over his broad, black chest.

"Maybe because I look nearly the same you haven't focused on everything different about me. I grew up Mika. I'm not the same stupid girl you met in the outskirts of Romania all those years ago. You need to get over me." She stopped herself and shook her head. "Actually get over yourself. What the hell brought this on, anyhow? We were doing just fine, I was doing just fine, trying to be friends. Talking, laughing. Trusting you. But then you go and you just… I don't fucking know. You fucking kissed me! You kissed me and betrayed my trust or something. I feel so pissed off at you."

Juliet stomped her feet as she finished her sentence, making Mika wince. Even she knew she was throwing an unwarranted hissy fit, but she couldn't stop herself. "I did not mean to betray your trust." He said.

"You've done it to me so many times now… I honestly don't know why I keep letting it happen." She hissed.

They stood, staring at each other, arms crossed in the same stance. Mika's eyes were hard and Juliet's were glaring daggers at him.

"Juliet, if I hadn't left-" he began.

"No, oh no. Let's not go down this route. You know damn well you would have left no matter what!" she was frustrated more than she'd ever been before. She knew that what she said wasn't true, she'd experienced the feelings he'd had when he'd seen the rubble of her old home. He regretted every choice he'd made that led him to leave her, but she wanted to hear him say it.

He didn't.

"Do you honestly think that anything would have changed if I had stayed with you?" he said after her tirade. "Do you think I would have forsaken my people for you-"

Juliet was insulted to hear him lie to protect his pride. "And what, exactly have you done for your people?" she snapped. "Sit in a big stone chair? Listen to them complain day after day after day? Why did you want that?"

"I didn't!" he shouted, shaking his hands before him. "But I did it for them. It was my duty. It is my duty."

Juliet's teeth were grinding in irritation. "Your duty is to nobody but yourself. How long do you plan to be a slave to people who would be just fine without you?"

"So you would have me do as you have? Separate myself from any and every person that could affect my life? Live in solitary confinement of my own free will?" His eyes narrowed. "Did that work for you?"

"You know at least I know what kind of person I am. I've made my own decisions-"

"When you were in your right mind."

Mika wasn't sure if Juliet's eyes could bore into him any harder. It was as if she wanted to rip him a part. "If I could control what had happened to me…" each word seemed like an effort for her, her hands were gripping the cloth of her shirt so hard her knuckles were turning white. "You know what, I won't apologize either. If I hadn't… If I hadn't gone fucking crazy and sought you out to try and murder you I would never have ended up here!" she gestured wildly to their surroundings. "I wouldn't even know who I am. I wouldn't have my family. So I can't even be mad at you, because if I hadn't met you I wouldn't be who I am today. And I fucking like who I am, Mika. Regardless of how often I am 'not in my right mind'."

Tears were forming in her eyes and Juliet didn't even know why. She was furious at Mika for using her bout of insanity in an argument. She was furious at herself for wishing she'd never met him. Her words were honest, she was grateful to him because he was the reason she knew about her past, about Mr. Tall and Helvsmina and her parents.

"Juliet," Mika said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think… I know how much it means to you to have your family back. You're-" he sighed, shoving his gloved hands the pockets of his pants and looking down sadly. Juliet was surprised at how boyish he looked. "I just wanted to be honest with you, and I've caused all of this. I'm so sorry."

Juliet wanted to scream at him that apologies were useless, that he'd hurt her really badly, but seeing his downcast eyes she remembered how much he had wanted to make her happy. "I have enjoyed being friends with you again." She sighed. "I hate arguing with you. We're both so damn stubborn. We want what we want."

"I want you." His words were solid and denied question.

Juliet frowned at how often she had heard that statement in her life. "You want what we once had. It can never be like that again." She shook her head.

"Why not?" he demanded. "Why are we not allowed to try again?"

Juliet saw the pain in his face and averted her gaze from his storming eyes. "Because, as much as I said the opposite before, we've both changed. We aren't the same people. It's a simple as that. It will never be the same."

"It needn't be the same. Why do you think that's what I want?" Mika said, never taking his eyes from her face.

Juliet had no rebuttal. Her entire defense had been that things had changed and thus they couldn't be together. "So what are you trying to say?" she sighed. "That we pretend we're strangers and start dating?"

"Would that be so terrible? I've been told I'm quite handsome. A catch some would say." His smile was embarrassed. .

Juliet groaned. "Oh god Mika… Why do you do this to me?"

'Because I've loved you for the past six decades.' He thought. "I'm infatuated."

"Simple as that?" she couldn't help the smile creeping across her face.

"Juliet, give me a chance. Please." He said. "We are here together for a few years. Longer than we had in the past. Why not give this a chance?"

Juliet inhaled deeply, considering his question. "So if I say 'fine whatever' what will happen?"

"I will kiss you again."

Their eyes locked and Juliet could feel the intensity in his gaze. She considered everything about their argument leading to this point. He wanted more from her, she was afraid he wanted exactly what they used to have. He said things didn't have to be the same, she wasn't sure that he knew what that meant. It was so confusing, such a whirlwind, so… them. Decades of history, even as Juliet had tried to distance herself from Mika, the universe had pushed them back together. Maybe fate was real… maybe this was Destiny at work…

"Apologize to me." She stated, hardening her eyes once more.

"For what?" Mika demanded, suddenly defensive.

"For everything. I want to start fresh." Her voice was pleading. "Just do it."

Mika didn't want to argue with her anymore, so he shook his head and sighed. "I'm sorry. Truly. For everything. For leaving without telling you. For betraying your trust. For never… contacting you afterwards. I'm sorry for all of it and I pray you will forgive me."

Juliet nodded, fiddling with the chain wrapped around her waist. "I forgive you." She said. Mika let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "And I'm sorry too. For being so harsh. For taking things out on you. I wanted to blame you for everything because it made it easier for me to pretend I wasn't hurting." She shook her head and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for carrying this grudge for so long, even after learning that you had nothing to do with the fire. The only thing you really did wrong was… hurt me. And I forgive you for that too."

Again they locked eyes. "I forgive you." Mika said.

"Okay then," Juliet flashed him her brilliant smile. "Let's start over. Hi, I'm Juliet Andères. Half-Vampire, fortune teller," she gestured to her outfit. "Multi-millionaire, by the way." She held out her hand. "And just to be clear, this isn't a promise, okay? This is like… me saying 'hey now you can take me to dinner and buy me flowers and we'll see if it makes me like you like if you were a normal guy.' Thing. I think. I don't know."

Mika brushed off her nervous explanations, mentally shaking his head in amusement. "Mika ver Leth. Vampire Prince." He grasped her hand firmly and knelt down to kiss it twice before pulling her into his arms, twirling her like a salsa dancer. "A pleasure to meet you –again-." Then he slanted his lips over hers before she could protest, drawing Juliet into one of his earth-shaking kisses. Possessive, demanding, and all at once kind. Full of want and relief.

When Juliet finally broke away from his embrace she sighed shakily. Mika's eyes bored down on her causing her to shake her head and grown. "Something tells me there will be no flowers or dates with you, will there?"