Ruby giggled merrily as she skipped ahead of the small group of girls. "Come on you guys!" she called out over her shoulder, narrowly missing bumping into another petite girl walking determinedly in the other direction. "Bakery is right down the street."

"We know, little rose," Pyrrha called back affectionately from where she strode in the rear of the procession, hand-in-hand with Blake. "You might have mentioned it once or twice in the past block."

"More like a dozen times," Yang snickered. "Don't know the two of you keep up with her, as many sweets as you ply her with."

"You, of all people, should know how effective trying to regulate her sugar intake is," Blake retorted levelly.

"Well, I've never had a problem doing so," Weiss replied loftily. "In fact- oof!"

The platinum-haired girl broke off in a huff as her waist was suddenly encircled by a pair of small arms. Framed by black pigtails, emerald eyes twinkled up at her merrily above a wide smile.

"N- Neo!" Weiss exclaimed, blushing brightly. "Er, I mean… Cherry! What are you doing here, Cherry?"

In a flash of rose petals, Ruby was there and eyeing her partner, and attached girl, suspiciously.

"What was that?" the brunette demanded.

"Er, what was what?" Weiss replied, trying to both maintain her innocence and play off the very clingy little girl who was now nuzzling into her modest bosom, eliciting further blushes from the heiress.

Ruby crossed her arms and gave her partner a smirk. "For starters, you have a girl I have never seen before hugging you. Hugging you, Weiss! I used to have to fill out a form in triplicate to hug you!"

"Oh, now, she wasn't that bad," Yang said, a blush of her own gracing her features. At the sound of her voice, the girl, Cherry, perked up and switched targets to glomp the blonde next. Problem being, at the much smaller girl's height, her head managed to push Yang's boobs up enough to practically pop out of her bra. "Heh heh, hey there, Cherry, been awhile…"

"Not that bad?" Ruby protested, though she was unable to keep a grin from creeping up on her face. "I had to sit through a lesson on hygiene once!"

"I thought it was quite informative," Weiss muttered abashedly.

Pyrrha tugged on Blake's hand towards a nearby bench. "We may as well get comfortable," the redhead murmured, pulling her girlfriend down with her. Blake released her hand to slip an arm around the taller girl's waist and lean her head on her shoulder.

"Mmm. I suppose so. Wish we'd brought some popcorn."

"I have peanuts in my purse…"

"Oh, how thoughtful, thank you, love."

"And secondly!" Ruby exclaimed, still with a full head of steam going. "You… and her… and Yang… Oh my Oum!" she squealed suddenly, her silver eyes wide and bright. "Did… Did you have a threesome!?"

Weiss glanced down at the ground, blushing even more brightly as Cherry moved over to latch onto her once more, though this time the platinum-haired girl returned the hug with a soft smile. "Er… it was a birthday present?" she explained weakly.

"Damn," Blake murmured, popping another peanut in her mouth. "This is better than a soap opera."

"Right?" Pyrrha smirked.

Without warning, Ruby hurtled herself forward to give Weiss a hug, somehow ignoring the smaller girl sandwiched in between them. "I'm so proud of you," the brunette whispered brokenly. "My little Weissy is all grown up."

"Um, Rubes," Yang interjected hesitantly. "You're kinda squishing our, um… friend."

"I'm still not quite sure what's going on, though," Blake continued her commentary. "I mean, is this an alternate dimension we've stumbled upon?"

"No, no it all seems quite normal externally, kitty cat."

"Perhaps we've been driven to the brink of madness?"

"Well, if so, then it's a trip we'll take together."

"Aww, you're so sweet, fluffy fox," Blake grinned, leaning up to give the redhead a quick peck on her cheek.

"Wait!" Ruby shouted, leaping apart from her embrace and causing all those assembled to jump in surprise. "That's the other thing! You called her… Neo!"

"I didn't… I mean…" Weiss sputtered, looking to Yang for support, who ever-so-helpfully gave her a helpless shrug.

The smaller raven-haired girl, deciding to take matters in her own hands, smiled serenely up at Ruby and blinked her eyes, They quickly changed to a heterochromatic pink and brown before reverting to emerald green once more.

"Ah ha!" the brunette declared, pointing a trembling finger at the short girl, who'd once again changed the object of her hug, rubbing her cheek into Yang's midsection happily. For her part, the blonde had a wide, goofy smile on her face.

"Neo, where did you get to?" a newcomer's voice broke in from around the corner behind them. Roman Torchwick came into view soon enough, and stopped in his tracks. "Oh, for-"

"AH HA!" Ruby yelled triumphantly, now extending her finger back towards the carrot-topped man.

"If this were a soap opera," Pyrrha whispered excitedly, "he'd end up being someone's uncle."

"Or long-lost brother," Blake agreed.

"Or perhaps a jilted lover?"

They shared a quick shudder. "No," they agreed.

"Neo, what's all this, then?" Roman exclaimed irritably. "What are you… and them… Oh, Dust, that hook-up you kept talking about was those two?"

"Hey!" Weiss protested indignantly. "What's wrong with us?"

"Uh, well, let's see, Ice Queen," he replied sarcastically. "Wrong side, for starters."

Neo turned towards him, her earlier grin evaporated into a fierce scowl as she crossed her arms and stomped a foot.

"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady…"

"Okay!" Ruby shouted, standing in the middle of everyone with her arms outstretched. "Just… let's back off for a second." She turned towards the three girls, all three of whom were now standing close together. "So… Yang... and Weiss… hooked up with Neo?"

"Um…" Yang hedged, before simply nodding. "Yup, that about sums it up."

Ruby eyed the short raven-haired girl closely.

Neo gave her a brilliant smile in return.

"Okay, I have some stipulations to lay down," the brunette finally declared firmly.

"Yes, because our little rose is all about the stipulations," Pyrrha giggled.

"Indeed," her raven-haired girlfriend murmured. "Oh, shoot, we ran out of peanuts."

"Granola bar?"

"No thank you, love, I can wait for the bakery." Blake paused consideringly. "If we ever get there."

"So, if you're gonna be hooking up with my sister and my partner," Ruby began sternly, her fists on her hips, "that means no trying to murder any of us or our friends."

Neo tilted her head with a thoughtful expression on her face. After only a heartbeat, she grinned once more and nodded firmly.

The brunette team leader nodded as well and stepped forward with her hand outstretched. The two solemnly shook on their deal.

"As for you," Ruby declared, turning to the bemused Roman.

"Oh, this should be good…" the cane-wielding man complained.

"While you're hanging out with us, no bad guy stuff, and we won't turn you in!"

"Wait, what?" he sputtered, tilting his bowler hat back on his head. "Whyever would I be 'hanging out' with you kids?"

"Roman, Roman, Roman," the brunette intoned, stepping over to him. She laid a hand on his shoulder and turned to gesture grandly towards the widely-smiling trio of girls. "What do you see there?"

"A bunch of suckers, if you ask me," he grumbled.

"Roman…"

"Fine, yeah I get it, Neo's happy, I'm not gonna interfere with that," the criminal mastermind sighed irritably. "How the mighty have fallen," he muttered darkly.

"Great!" Ruby cheered. "Let's all go get treats at the bakery!" She skipped forward and pulled her girlfriends off of the bench, dragging them along. "Dessert's on Roman!"

"What? Since when?"

"Since you're the oldest!"

"You're the oldest," he repeated mockingly, trailing behind the laughing group of six girls. "Bloody kids…"

He managed to bump into a well-to-do looking man on the way, effortlessly lifting the wallet from his pocket. With deft fingers he slipped the lien out and dropped it to the ground just a foot from his mark.

"I saw that!" Ruby yelled back.

"No you didn't!" Roman replied irritably. "And besides, how else am I gonna pay for you brats?"

Neo broke away from Weiss and Yang to skip back and launch herself into Roman's arms. The scoundrel paused, an uncharacteristically soft smile crossing his features. "Alright, m'dear," he said soothingly. "I'll stop being such a grump. Go have fun."

The small girl gave him one last squeeze and a brilliant smile before darting into the bakery, right on the heels of Weiss as Yang held the door for them.

Roman pulled out a cigar and regarded it levelly before tucking it back away once more and heading for the door where the others had disappeared. "Never in a million years woulda expected today to turn out like this," he mused. He paused with his hand on the handle. "What the hey, it couldn't hurt to have a bunch of huntresses who won't shoot me on sight, right?"

Sardonic grin firmly in place, he entered the bakery to the sounds of girlish cheers.


A/N: I have no idea how this will be received. Obviously it ties into a certain chapter within A Thorny Bind, and it just as obviously breaks my rule about there being no bad guy characters in here… But I couldn't help myself, I was giggling maniacally the whole time I was writing it. Actually had an entirely different chapter already done to post, but I wrote this when I got home last night. Lemme know what you think, bad or good.

Thanks for all the earlier reviews! Nicodemus Cain, Herofire, lkdog, Gorsouul, THB4, Boombox94, kaiju62, MakaS0ul, Marauderby, Dragonsoul1, Jack Inqu, Reaper Whisper, Jacklyn Frost, The Reader of Fanfiction, BrownTeddyBear, Jacklyn Frost. I didn't get to respond to too many reviews this time, apologies for that! Still love all you guys!

Stay shiny!