Spin Me 'Round, Carry Me Down... Part 3: ~ IN THE LIGHT ~

The shuttle looked very neat and ordered now, after a fashion. Most everything in its place. River had opened the hatch and fresh air was wafting in, warmed by the bright morning sun. River was gone. Exploring outside again, Kaylee figured. She soon came back though, looking about outside shuttle hatch a bit then looking over to the shuttle's inside, her eyes finding Kaylee's without having to look for them.

"Hello to you too." Kaylee spoke softly to herself, smiling a little fondly.

Amazingly enough, River broke into a bright smile at that and seemed to say something back to her, though Kaylee couldn't make it out from that distance away. A confused look came on the other woman's face then, like she couldn't figure something out.

"Hmm, you don't suppose she can hear me?" She said to herself, looking back at River. "If you can hear me, get over here. I can't hear you back, yaknow."

River didn't react, she just started walking in her direction and soon was up close and sitting down cross-legged on the bed right next to her, hardly disturbing the mattress with her motions. "Better?" River asked, a little of a playful smile on her lips.

"Mei banfa, you could really hear what I was saying all the way out there?" She asked incredulously. Lip reading, it's gotta be, she reassured herself.

River just smiled at her, guileless. "I found more berries." She told her with satisfaction, her mood then turning towards serious consideration. "The woods still hold many mysteries though. I think there are shadows falling off in the distance..."

"Shadows?" Kaylee asked, not following.

"You can't see past them." River looked wistful, then over to Kaylee's eyes. "It's better here in the light." She explained as if what she said made all the sense in the worlds.

Kaylee opened her mouth, a question forming on her lips only to die away. "I guess it is at that, isn't it?"

"You're still worrying about Serenity." River spoke in an understanding sort of way. "It's your heart's family..."

Kaylee looked over at her questioningly. "Course I worry forum... You worrying about your brother?" She turned the question back to its asker.

"Worry isn't logical." River told her, not sounding like she really believed it. "...Simon's worried about me now." She offered. "And you."

"You really think so?" Kaylee questioned, her voice still a little tired sounding.

"He thinks so." River replied a little airily. "You probably don't want to know what I think sometimes..." She informed her in an enigmatic sort of way.

Kaylee just looked at her. "You bother me sometimes, know that?" She said with a little of a smile.

"Sometimes on purpose." River told her back. She wore a straight face, but her eyes smiled in a playful fashion, giving her away.

Kaylee was startled into laughing. By rights, she should be put out. She really wasn't though. "I should be mad at you right now, you realize that? And me in a sickbed and everything..."

"It's for a good cause." River explained, looking at her, seemingly concentrating on her face.

"Wha-!" Kaylee started as River reached out and seemed to snatch something right from in front of her face before she could tell what's what. "What in all the stars was that about?"

River just smiled. "Stole your nose." She explained.

Ridiculously, Kaylee found herself checking her face with her hand to make sure it was still there. River started laughing uproariously at this. Kaylee just looked at her a moment then started laughing again too.

"Where'd you learn that from?" Kaylee asked.

"Mal. It's all smoke and mirrors." River confessed. "It's actually my thumb." She pointed to her thumb and opened the hand attached to that thumb and there was a pink flower without a stem there. Looked almost like a lily, except a little smaller. "It's for you." She offered, holding it out to Kaylee. "A present."

Kaylee looked down at the flower, so completely unexpected.

"Take it." River instructed.

Kaylee smiled up at her and took the flower delicately in her hands. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

"And also orange colored berries." River replied. "They're hard to resist." She explained.

"Zoe would say to take advantage of a good thing when it comes your way." Kaylee offered.

"The trick is telling good things from the bad ones." River pointed out.

"Captain did say that back to her, didn't he?" Kaylee questioned, looking from the flower to River.

"A lot of people have said that. It's not special." River debated, shifting positions so she was lying down on the bed next to Kaylee and looking up at the ceiling with her.

"You learn about that in school? What people said what an all?" Kaylee asked with faint curiosity, the conversation having made her feel a lot better by now. She knew from Simon that River had been a real live genius in school, before what happened to her happened... Was why it had happened in fact.

"The quality of language is ever to be measured by the veracity of those who have spoken it. In no other area can this be felt more strongly than in the memories that they leave behind them when they go..." River said it almost lyrically, very much like she was a lecturer and Kaylee was her class to teach.

"...Sounds pretty anyway." Kaylee assessed. "Not that I know what it means exactly... Who said it, anyway?"

"River Tam said it." River told her lightly. "Do you know her?"

Kaylee tilted her head to the side and regarded the other girl who was still looking up at the ceiling, a serene, careless look on her face. Does she have to look so darn pretty an innocent all the time saying these things? Kaylee questioned internally with a little mostly affectionate exacerbation. Two can play at that though. "I know everything about River Tam." She said simply, looking up at the ceiling herself again.

This time River looked over at her. "Do you really?" She seemed surprised.

"Her mind is an open book to me." Kaylee said boldly. "What? You didn't know?"

Before she knew it, River was on top of her, held up by knees and hands and looking down into her face intently. Kaylee couldn't help it, a thrill of fear went through her at the look in River's eyes.

"Liar." River said, getting up off the bed and walking away. "She scares you."

Kaylee was speechless a moment, then. "...River no, wait. I..." She said to the now empty room. Gaisi de, she moves ghostly, don't she? "What was that about?" She said aloud to the empty shuttle, not really able to deny that what River had said had some truth in it.

River was back before too long though, seemingly holding no grudge and acting like nothing much had happened. Kaylee decided to just let it be for now.

The sky was getting dark half the daylight later. Kaylee had watched River industriously making something for hours now from stuff she'd gotten from the woods and a length of cloth from the shuttle. She'd asked what it was at one point, but all River had said was vacation. She'd soon gotten the idea though that it was a litter.

"So that's what you meant." Kaylee said when she'd figured it out.

"Huh?" River looked up, having been absorbed in what she was doing.

"About the vacation." Kaylee clarified.

River looked from Kaylee out the open hatch. "The sun's sleeping soon." She explained. "You have to see it with me." She said it matter-of-factly, going back to her task. "It's important."

Kaylee was quiet then and just watched her work, not really knowing what to say to that, but not being able to stop from feeling sort of warm and fluttery about it. And here I was, acting scared of her, and her doing things like this... should be ashamed of myself, she lamented a little guiltily... But a part of her still was scared of the other woman, even despite things like this. She just couldn't seem to help it.

"You don't have to worry." River spoke.

Kaylee jumped in startlement. "Tiaoyue de tuzi, don't do that to me. About scared a year off my life sneaking up on me like that."

River looked blankly at her a moment then got up and dropped the litter she'd made and started pacing, nervous like, and holding her head with her hands. "Not doing things right." She said distractedly. "Not right at all. The shadows are getting closer. Can't see. Neehuh!" River held her head and shook a little, then ran over to the far side of the room and sat crouched against the wall, knees held up to her chest. She started to rock. "Damaged. I'm not right. Not right at all anymore." She sounded scared.

Kaylee started to feel scared for her too, think it was her fault somehow. Because she'd said she was scared of her and River obviously didn't want her to be. She made up her mind. Doesn't hurt that bad, she told herself, and determinedly pulled back the covers and slowly made to get up so she could get over to River and make it right.

She wasn't sure how it happened exactly, just a jagged bolt of pain that wouldn't stop bolting. It tore a scream from deep inside her and made the world go white and take a tumble.

"No!" She heard from somewhere. "All gone wrong. All wrong." She heard up closer.

She groaned and felt herself being lifted up in familiar arms. Held carefully and set back to rest in a soft place. She blinked open her eyes, seeing River looking down at her, scanning her body in all but a panic over it all. "River, I'm sorry, okay? ...You're not scary. Not at all." She said blearily, thinking this would help.

And River did still, to look to her eyes for a moment. "I am scary, I am, look at what happened. All from out of me." And Kaylee saw tears in River's eyes.

"You're not." Kaylee said. "And I'm a sanci zuzhou idjit for thinking otherwise. Just like I'm a sanci zuzhou idjit for getting up out of bed like I did. It's not your fault, you hear me?" She put a hand to River's cheek. "You understand?"

River smiled and wiped away her tears with the side of her hand. "You were pretty stupid." She said with a weak smile. "Me also. Stupid me." And she hugged Kaylee, very gently off course, careful of her ribs, and just stayed like that a moment.

Kaylee held her in return as best she could. "Stupid us alright. I'm sorry River, really I am... It'll be alright." She said the last bit more softly than the other. It was kind of scary. How strong River could be, how bright and all of brave one moment, but, like now, she could also be scared too, and shaken up to the core of her.

"Have to check the fastenings." River muttered, getting herself up. "See that every place's still correct and all." She wiped more tears away and set about examining and rewrapping Kaylee's injury.

Kaylee lay there and silently watched River go about her work, her shipmate muttering some things to herself every now and then. Kaylee felt tired again though. The pain must have done a number on her.

"I'm going to take away the hurt now." River locked eyes with Kaylee, and told her. "Fly away for a while... I'll keep the hollows away. Just you rest now." Kaylee heard River's soft voice say, barely feeling the needle at all. How did she know I dream of flying? Kaylee's imagination wondered as she drifted off into sleep.

Chinese translations:

"Mei banfa" = "no way"

"Gaisi de" = "damn"

"Tiaoyue de tuzi" = "jumping jackrabbits"

"sancì zuzhou" = "thrice cursed"

(please note: I'm only getting my Chinese from Google Translate, so I can't guarantee it's accurate at all)

to be continued

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