AAAAAAAAAAGH I forgot to upload this chapter! Sorry to anyone who was confused because of the gap!
-Purple
"I am thou."
"...Again?" I tried to open my eyes to the fog within my heart, but when I tried, I saw that the fog was so thick that I could barely even open them.
"Thou art I."
This time, I could not see anything, even the faint outline of my Persona's wings. Instead, all that lay before me was thick, grey fog as far as my eyes could allow me to see. I tried to look down at my hands, but to my surprise, I could not see them. Was the fog really this thick? No, I had the sense that something was amiss. "...What's going on?"
Suddenly, with a flash, Sukuna-Hikona's deep blue face appeared inches from mine, prompting me to jump abruptly. He looked different from how I had remembered him, however. His fiery golden eyes, which had once seemed passionate and fervent, now seemed sinister and threatening. "Naoto Shirogane… 'Detective Prince…'" His tone seemed mocking and hurtful, and his voice seemed to be dark and warped. It seemed vaguely yet painfully familiar. Because of this, I knew that something must be wrong.
"Sukuna-Hikona," I said, concerned, "What is going on? Is there something wrong?"
"Oh, you know the truth better than anyone else…" His eyes began to change before me. They changed from their fiery gold to the eerie yellow that haunted my memories and made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Now, I remembered where I knew this voice from.
Reminiscent of changing channels on an old TV, my persona glitched into flashing horizontal lines, and gradually transformed before my eyes. His blue face was paled, and in place of his golden antennae was a thick head of navy blue hair. Before me stood a mirror image of myself, yet again. However, the face on this doppelganger was something that had become unfamiliar, yet frightening to me. This dark face was the face of the bitter, angry boy I had always seen staring back at me from the other side of the mirror. I had not seen it in what seemed like a long while. Standing before me once again was my Shadow.
I stepped back, standing my ground and glaring warily at the dark memory. "What are you doing here?"
My Shadow cackled, and as a reflex, I quickly covered my ears. I didn't want to believe that this was happening again. Surprisingly, I noticed that I could somehow see my hands again when I had raised them.
"You think you have finally found your place, don't you?" my Shadow sneered, "You think that now that people TALK to you, you've overcome everything that you've had trouble with in your past. But that isn't true, isn't it? And deep down, you know that this is the most foolish way you could think!"
"W-what are you talking about?" I said, stepping back.
"You know fully well what I am talking about," she growled, stepping toward me. "The only thing you have to offer to your precious little 'friends' is your brain. It is the same as it always has been. Once this case is over, you won't be needed anymore, even by them!"
"I…" I stuttered, "I don't want to think that way…"
"But whatever you do, you cannot escape from the truth. You know in your heart of hearts that your newfound 'friends' will, in turn, prove to be just like the imbeciles who hire you. The only reason you are wanted is because you are a detective, not because they value you in any other way!"
"That isn't true!" I protested, "They wouldn't do that to me… They wouldn't cast me out like everyone else…"
"You tell yourself that," my Shadow snarled, "But you know deep down inside of you that you have nothing to offer but your intelligence. You do not have the courage to impress them, you do not have the social skills to interact with them, and you cannot even help them to fight Shadows throughout their investigation!"
"I can fight Shadows," I insisted, "I have a Persona."
"Persona?" She cackled again, amused with the stupidity she saw in me. "Please. You have a Persona, but does your tiny little Persona even know how to fight? Have you fought even once? These people have had immense experience with fighting Shadows, while you yourself have only just joined the team. You are far behind their skill, and there is no way you could possibly catch up to their standards." She grinned mockingly at me, only inches from my face. I could smell her delicate breath as it brushed against my skin. Her voice was soft, almost lusty, striking annoyance, discomfort, and fear into my core. "But you don't need me to tell you this. You already know it. You know that to your new 'friends'... Chie-san, Rise-san, Kanji-kun… And even Yu-san…" Her slender fingers gripped the sides of my head, and she grew closer still. "You are merely a detective in their eyes… You are helping them for the time being, but when the time comes, they'll throw you to the DUST!" She grabbed me by the throat and violently forced me to the ground. "JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!"
The wind was knocked out of me, but I struggled to look up. However, my Shadow had disappeared, and in front of me stood, to my surprise, Rise-san, Yosuke-san, Chie-san, Yukiko-san, Kanji-kun and Teddie.
"Rise-san!" I clambered quickly to my feet, grabbing frantically at Rise-san's clothing. My heart was racing in panic, and I was desperate for some type of reassurance. It seemed that the fog around me had quickly cleared, and I was now standing in the hallway at Yasogami High. I sighed in relief, thinking that I must have fainted or something of the sort. "Rise-san… I apologize… I'm not feeling too well. I think I may need to go home…"
"So," Rise-san said, not seeming to hear me, "What did you guys think of Naoto-kun?"
"Shirogane?" Yosuke-san said, "Meh, not much, really. She was good help, though."
"W-what?" I stuttered. "Yosuke-san, I'm sorry, but that was a bit hurtful…"
"She was a bit stuffy though," Chie-san said from beside me, "Don't you think?"
"C-can't you all hear me!?" I cried frantically. It seemed that they could not. "You think I'm… Stuffy…?"
"Naoto-kun was nice and all," Yukiko-san added, "But she did seem to be very uptight, I'll admit that."
"Did…?" I said, "W-what happened to me? Where am I while you all are saying this!? I demand to know!"
"Shame she moved away again," Kanji-kun said, "But I guess there wouldn't've been much to do with her anyway once the case was solved. Oh well."
"Oh well…?" I began to feel light-headed. "Wouldn't anyone miss me? What was all of that about being friends!? Does anyone see me as more than just a detective…?"
"Isn't that who you wanted to be seen as, though?" The voice made me shiver. I quickly turned around to see Yu-san facing away from me, fog billowing in before him.
"Senpai!" I felt my heart relax a little. Surely, Yu would show some degree of tenderness toward me. I hopefully grabbed the sleeve of his uniform. "Thank goodness you are here… You don't think that way about me, do you?"
"But this is what you wanted, wasn't it?" Yu's voice echoed through the oncoming fog.
"...What?"
"You're so devoted to being a detective, and suddenly that's not what you want anymore?" He yanked his arm out of my grip, clenching his fist. "Make up your mind, Naoto! You offer us your services as a detective, but suddenly you expect to be our friend, too? You don't even act like a friend to us!"
His words surprised me, and I felt a lump grow in my throat. My voice came weak to me. "I try, Senpai…"
"Well, you shouldn't," Yu growled. He suddenly turned around, staring into my eyes with a hostile expression I had never even imagined him having. "There's no reason we would want you as our friend!"
"No…" My legs gave out, and I collapsed to my knees. I found myself gripping Yu-san by his hand, and tears began to stream down my cheeks. "Senpai, please stop saying this! Please don't let this be true!" I was wailing at this point, in a way that I had never expressed to anyone. I felt like a desperate child throwing a tantrum, but I didn't care. "Please! Don't do this! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE AGAIN!"
With a gust of wind, Yu-san disappeared with the swirling fog. As I collapsed to the ground, covering my face with my hands, my sobs were muffled by the roar of the wind and the distant cackling of my Shadow which echoed and reverberated throughout existence. The sound became unbearable, and all I could do was curl up on my side, gripping my head and muttering to myself in desperation.
"Stop this… Stop this… Stop this… Stop this… STOP THIS…!"
I repeated the phrase to myself, gradually noticing the fog around me becoming softer, until it felt like delicate sheets of linen. It took me a few moments to realize that the fog was in fact not fog at all, but my bedsheets. I blinked myself awake, finding myself to be shaking violently and drenched in sweat. "Oh, my god…" I raised a quivering hand to wipe the sweat from my brow, and then buried my face in my hands. I had never been so happy to wake up on a school morning.
The last fragrant winds of October had ceased to blow, and the icy winds of November soared in to take their place, when I was tapped on the shoulder after the dismissal bell had rang. Still in an exceedingly paranoid state, I nearly jumped before turning to see Yu-san standing behind me. I released a sigh of both relief and tension. It was reassuring to see his usual, friendly face the way I preferred it, though I was still shaken from my dream the night before, and could hardly look Yu in the eye after what I had experienced. I half-heartedly agreed to having him walk me home from school, and when we departed for our lockers, I attempted to relax myself. I made my way to my locker with Yu-san, gazing at the last, greying leaves of the sakura trees outside fluttering to the ground from their branches. I reached to open my locker as always, but when the locker door opened, something I had been anticipating in the back of my mind for the past few days finally happened, taking my mind off my dream for the time being.
I plucked the small, white card almost instinctively out of the air. I had suspected that something like this would happen again. "It's…" The words seemed to be caught in my throat as I anxiously tried to get them out to Yu.
"That 'card' again?" Yu-san asked as he approached me to look at the card.
I nodded firmly. "Yes, it's unmistakable!" Briefly inspecting the card, I saw that it was of the same material and size as the previous, though this time, it was not blank, and had small, black text printed on it. Still, though, it was not signed. "Judging by its appearance, it's on the same cardstock, the same size, unsigned just like last time… I'm almost certain this came from the same person." I glanced around at the numerous students who were still loitering in the hallways, some of which looking at me and the card I held in my hand, obviously curious in their own mind. Perhaps it was best for us to continue this conversation elsewhere. "...Let's talk about this someplace more private."
Yu-san agreed to coming with me to Samegawa, where we had met last time at the picnic table in the rest area. When we were once again settled with the card between us on the table, I began to read the card's text to myself, partly excited that a new clue to the case had been discovered.
The text read as follows:
Dear Detective,
Your prized possessions are in my hand. Can you recover them? The game is afoot.
-The Phantom Theif
The text prompted me to wrinkle my nose. Now it could be confirmed that the card I had received was indeed related to the theft that had taken place at my home. However, if this was legitimately how this "Phantom Theif" thought about breaking into the estate and taking my belongings, no matter how little they may have meant to me, I was disgusted with the childishness of it. "It seems this is the work of the figure who snuck into the Shirogane estate," I said once I finished reading. "I'll send this to Yakushiji-san so he can turn it into the police as evidence." I grimaced. Why in the world would someone do something to a family as respectable as my own? "The Phantom Thief? How absurd… I haven't the time to waste on this…"
"Why so uncomfortable?" Yu asked, looking at me and sounding concerned.
I tensed up slightly. "I-I'm not fretting! I'm just upholding the Shirogane name in seeing this case through to the end." Although… If I did not solve this case post-haste, and ended up having to leave it to the local police, what would the name of Shirogane be compared to a group of lethargic small-town police agents who didn't even care to see a case through, so long as it could be closed? The public, and most importantly the police, would think of us as slipping in our intellect. They could point to my grandfather's age, or worse, to me as the source of my family's downfall. I could anticipate the next news article that would feature my family: "With the absence of his parents and the increasing age of his caretaker, Detective Shirogane III, can Detective Prince Naoto Shirogane really uphold his world-renowned family name any longer?" The thought of the Shirogane name being soiled because of a simple break-in of our own estate made my stomach churn with anxiety.
I realized that I was staring at the ground beside me. Yu-san must have noticed my state of grief. "Although," I thought aloud, trying to concentrate on my own thoughts, yet also worrying about his. I tried to trace what I was thinking out loud. "He broke into our estate and sent me this challenge… Leaving this in the police's hands could jeopardize the honor of the Shirogane name…" I tried to think clearly, but Yu-san's presence was making me feel anxious for some reason. I could not separate my feelings about this case from my feelings about not wanting to get him involved in something like this. I grew frustrated, and… Please forgive me, but I let my anger out in a brief growl. "Argh! That's why I don't like this!" I looked at him with a snarl. Why did I feel so confused around him…? Why did I not feel like myself? "When I'm with you, I always seem to lose my composure… I don't want to get involved with this sort of childish game. But… To ignore it only makes me angry!" I felt trapped. Either way I went, I would have been unhappy. I didn't know what would be best to do.
"Let's catch him together," Yu-san said softly, bearing a determined expression.
I thought briefly, and then calmly nodded. "Of course we will…" I said, partly to reassure myself. "You're the one who brought this to my attention…" I calmly exhaled a satisfied grunt from my nose. Realizing that I had been acting rather emotional, I suddenly blushed with embarrassment. I felt ashamed for my sudden outburst of frutration in front of Yu-san. Looking to the side, afraid to look him in the eye, I said, "...Let's work together on this."
"Hmm," he grunted in agreement.
I turned my head back to him, but still did not look him in the eye. My heart fluttered, and I still felt embarrassed. I decided to forget about the feeling and focus on the case. "Now that it's been decided, let's reexamine the first card. There must be some sort of hint there…" I suddenly felt anxious again, not wanting to take up any more of Yu-san's time. Perhaps he was growing tired of this and wanted to go home. Remembering the dream I had woken up from this morning, I feared that he would not want to associate with me, who only served as a living calculator who had the brain to help him with the murder case. "Oh… And of course, I only intend to investigate this case in our free time…" I looked down at the card sitting in front of me, clenching my fists unknowingly. The longer I stared at the card, the more it started to change before my eyes… Until it appeared as a large, flat TV screen. I knew what I felt I had to do in order to feel like I could be of any other use to the Investigation Team. "I… Have something else I must do."