"Is she crazy?" Mark asked Michonne while they were doing watch. He'd slept through Carol's decision to join the battle party and now MIchonne was filling him in on the plan and the fact that Carol was planning on leaving the two of them with Carl and three babies.
"Normally I would say no," Michonne responded, "but right now I'm not so sure." She wasn't attempting to hide at all the fact that she was worried about the whole thing and more than a little angry at Carol for trying to make some kind of point by being, at least in Michonne's opinion, completely reckless.
"I mean I can do the best that I can," Mark started, "but I really don't feel confident in my abilities to handle any kind of serious wounds."
"I don't know that she would always know what she was doing either, but she knows more than I do," Michonne said. "She at least had a little training from Hershel."
"Who?" Mark asked.
"He was with us before," Michonne said.
"Can't you talk her out of it?" Mark asked.
"I tried to talk her out of it, but she's being hardheaded about the whole thing." Michonne responded.
"Well isn't your husband like the boss around here? Can't he make her stay here? Declare it unconstitutional or something?" Mark asked.
Michonne snickered. "He's not the boss, and we don't really make each other do anything. We don't have a constitution either."
"Well, I don't know, let's make one or make it a law or something that the medical personnel cannot leave the community in the face of a possible crisis," Mark said.
Michonne sighed. This just didn't make any sense to her, and she couldn't believe that no one else was attempting to put a stop to Carol's decision to just abandon her post here at the community, and that's what she would be doing. Her job, her position within the community involved preparing for whatever injuries would come back from that battle, not traipsing off to possibly be one of those injured, or even worse.
"I'll talk to her again tomorrow," Michonne said, "I'll see if I can talk some sense into her."
"I'll be keeping my fingers crossed," Mark said.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11
"Daryl," Rick said, walking toward Daryl who was watching Sadie work with a few of the members with Walkers, "you might want to come here."
"What's going on?" Daryl asked, turning to face Rick.
"Your wives are fighting, and it looks like it could get serious," Rick said.
"My wives?" Daryl asked.
"Carol and Michonne are fighting, in the street, not far from where we were doing target practice. I couldn't find Tyreese, and I thought you might want to see if you can break it up," Rick said.
"Why didn't you just break 'em up?" Daryl asked, walking with Rick toward the area of conflict. "What they fightin' 'bout anyway?"
"As far as I could tell, they're fighting about Carol's decision to go out tomorrow, and I didn't want to get in the middle of it. It's really more your area when it comes to those two," Rick said.
Despite the fact he was discussing this fight with Daryl, he was smiling.
"What you smilin' 'bout?" Daryl asked.
"It's just kind of funny, you'll see when you get there. No one really knows what to do. We didn't expect to find Michonne and Carol going around in circles yelling at each other," Rick responded.
Daryl was used to the two women squawking at each other from time to time. He figured it was a woman thing. One of them would get irritated by some little thing the other one did and the next thing you knew they were going at each other, bickering. Sometimes the bickering was worse than others, and sometimes they were nastier with each other than others. Usually then you could count on an awkward period of time between them, the silent time, which Daryl always thought of as their cool down period. Once that had passed, they'd magically reappear again at some point, having made up or whatever it was they did and everything was fine and happy until someone got another hair.
As Rick and Daryl got closer, Daryl began to be able to discern the voices of the women and he could tell that this squabble was a little bit more intense than most of the ones that he'd overheard before ringing through the house or through headquarters.
"That is bullshit!" Michonne barked.
Daryl didn't hear if there was some response from Carol because they turned the corner and encountered the women just as Michonne barked something else at Carol.
"It's stupid, selfish pride, that's all it is!" She barked.
Daryl was a little struck when he first saw the scene. He wasn't sure what amused him more, the fact that everyone who had been working with Rick was forming a type of audience around the two women, or the fact that they were squared off at each other, somewhat walking in circles like they were really considering fighting. Daryl thought it was funny, also, because he knew that Michonne wouldn't hit Carol and Carol wouldn't hit Michonne. They could possibly squawk at each other all day, but neither would dare to lay an unkind hand on the other.
Daryl stopped where he was to regard the women and snorted at them.
"See what I mean?" Rick asked. "Should we break them up?"
"It doesn't have anything to do with pride, Michonne," Carol growled back, elongating Michonne's name far more than was necessary. "It's got to do with helping the group, with trying to make sure that more people make it back. It's about maybe saving lives!"
"That's bullshit too!" Michonne barked back. "If it were about saving lives, then you'd stay here. This is where you're saving lives, Carol, not out there. Even if they survive long enough to make it back here, Mark and I don't really know what we're doing, not like you do. What does it matter who you save out there if they just make it here to die? If you cared about saving lives, you'd stay here and be ready for them."
"Nah," Daryl said to Rick after a minute. "I don't think they gon' hurt each other, an' I think this is somethin' they gotta get out. We'll just keep an eye on 'em 'til they sort through it. If they do go at it, though," Daryl paused and looked around, noticing that Tyreese had not been drawn to the scene, "how about you get Carol and I'll get control 'a 'Chonne."
"Sounds like a plan," Rick said.
"So you're going to do it to? Go ahead and dig my grave like if I'm out there I won't be back here to help?" Carol hissed.
"No, Carol, I'm just being realistic. We don't know who will or won't make it back. Bullets don't discriminate. I should know, I've been shot more than my fair share of times! It can happen to anyone!" Michonne yelled back at her. "You said, when I got pregnant, that you were going to be there, you said we were doing this together, but I guess you're willing to abandon that now, right? Just so you can be hardheaded."
"Oh? You're giving me a lecture on being hardheaded? That's rich!" Carol responded, no less bitterly than Michonne. "I said I'd be back!"
"And if you're not? Maybe I die? Maybe the baby dies? It might be better if it happens that way, less for everyone to worry about, but you wouldn't care right, because you'd have proved your point," Michonne said.
Daryl saw first the catch in Carol, the moment where she seemed to stop, at least for a second to consider what she'd just heard. He saw it next in Michonne, but it was different. She did stop, but she also turned and walked off. He followed her, not sure what to say, but sure that he should follow.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11
"'Chonne! 'Chonne!" Daryl called, trying to catch up with Michonne who was making remarkably good time in getting back across the community. When he finally rushed ahead enough to grab her, he realized that she was upset, more than he'd thought when he'd gone chasing after her.
"Leave me alone," she said, jerking away from him.
"Don't pull away from me, 'Chonne," Daryl said. "Don'tcha ever pull away from me. You can tell me what'cha want to say, but don't pull away."
He held her hard, looking into her eyes which were overflowing now, but no sounds were escaping.
"I want to lie down," she sobbed.
"Fine, 'Chonne, I'll take ya to the house. That ain't no problem," Daryl said. He knew that wasn't the reason she was upset, but he was going to give her the time that she needed. He knew she'd talk to him, but she would only do it when she was ready to.
Daryl led Michonne quietly to the bedroom and got her in bed, stripping off her clothes and pretending that he didn't notice that she was fighting back being upset.
"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, when he had finally tucked her in and was sitting next to her.
Michonne was wearing the face that he hated. It was the face that she wore to try to tell him and the rest of the world that nothing affected her, nothing touched her, and he knew it to be fake.
"You can't pull that on me, 'Chonne. You two can kiss an' make up or whatever it is that you gals do, it ain't the end a' the world," Daryl said.
"Forget about it Daryl," Michonne said bitterly. "She can do what she wants, she's a grown ass woman, I don't care."
"Yeah, I believe that too, 'Chonne," Daryl said sarcastically.
Michonne didn't respond, she got into bed and rolled away from him, pulling the cover up. Daryl sighed. There was enough going on that he didn't want to deal with the two of them fighting like this. He decided he was going to have a talk with Carol, and with Tyreese if necessary, but he wasn't going to let this continue any longer.
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
"Michonne, I brought you some dinner, wake up for a bit," Carol said, shaking Michonne's shoulder.
Michonne rolled over a little, trying to fully wake. For a moment she'd forgotten about the fight with Carol, forgotten her plans to go running off with others the next morning to fight some group they knew little about. Suddenly it washed back over her and she rolled back the way she was, hugging her pillow back up under her head and shutting her eyes.
"So you're not going to talk to me at all, is that it?" Carol asked. "Well the least you can do is sit up and eat."
"Not hungry," Michonne said.
"Michonne, look, I'm sorry," Carol said, "and I think we both said things we didn't mean."
"Oh no," Michonne said, "I meant everything I said."
Carol sighed. Michonne was probably angrier with her right now that she'd ever seen her before, and after talking to Daryl and Tyreese about it for a while, she was starting to think that she couldn't blame her. She wanted to go and fight, but deep down she wasn't entirely sure why it was so important to her. Part of her wanted to prove to everyone else, prove to herself that she hadn't been the reason that others seemed to die around her. She knew that she had killed her share of Walkers, and though she'd never killed another living person, she felt confident that she could if the need arose.
Yet something in her still doubted herself. She felt like she'd been witness to so many deaths, possibly responsible for them. She had failed to protect Sophia, T-Dog had sacrificed himself for her, and whether or not he was bitten and going to die, it still felt like he'd died because of her. Hershel had sacrificed himself for the group, but if she'd had enough foresight to be armed from the beginning it may not have come to that, she hadn't been able to do anything for Dora, and then Sasha had been lost, alone with her. Maybe Sasha wouldn't have been bit if she'd been with someone else, someone like Maggie, maybe it was because she was with Carol that these things had happened.
Carol wasn't sure at all what she thought that fighting would prove, or what it would do for her, but she had felt certain at the time that it was a good idea, something that she needed to do.
Now she didn't feel that way. Now she realized that her decision to fight had seemed, to Michonne like a betrayal. She could see that Michonne thought of it as, if not a total suicide attempt, at least a possibility, and Michonne saw that as Carol abandoning her, saying that she didn't care, and it wasn't true. Carol had never had a friend like Michonne before. The thought of actually betraying her seemed impossible. The knowledge that Michonne was as angry, or even as hurt, as she was now stung for Carol
"I talked to Daryl," Carol said. "I'm not going, Michonne. I never meant to hurt you, and I'm not going. I'm going to stay here and get things ready for when they get back. I'm not walking away from you and this baby, either."
"So glad that Daryl could talk some sense into you," Michonne said, not moving to face Carol.
Carol sighed.
"Ok," she said. "I deserve this. Can you do me a favor though? Can you just eat your dinner now, get some rest, and hold off being angry with me until after tomorrow? When everything's calm again I promise that you can be as angry with me as you like, right up until it's time for the baby, and that gives you quite a few months to make me pay for this," Carol said.
Michonne rolled over then.
"I don't want to make you pay for anything," she said. She obviously didn't really want to talk about it any further, and Carol could somewhat understand that.
Carol sighed again. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings," she offered.
Michonne didn't say anything. She wasn't ready to say anything right now. She wasn't really mad at Carol, but she was hurt. She knew that she'd get over it, but she wasn't going to instantly get over it. She needed a little more time to process it. Michonne sat up and accepted the food that Carol offered her. She could see that there were tears brimming in Carol's eyes, and part of her wanted to comfort her, but the other part of her felt like Carol had caused them herself.
"Fine, you eat and get some rest," Carol said, starting to get up.
"I've got watch in a bit," Michonne responded.
"I'll do watch tonight," Carol said.
"No, you won't," Michonne countered. "You need to rest to be alert tomorrow, more than I do."
Carol sighed again.
"Fine," she said. "You eat and I'll send Daryl up. I think he wants to spend a little time with you tonight. Then I'll come and get you after a while and I'll sleep while you finish off watch."
"Fine," Michonne responded.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111
Michonne woke up when she heard the knocking on the door that woke her. She had only been lightly sleeping, whereas Daryl was snoring as though he hadn't slept in a few nights.
"Come in," she whispered.
Carol opened the door and stuck her head in.
"Are you ready?" Carol asked.
"Yeah, I will be in a few minutes," Michonne said, gently lifting Daryl's arm and attempting to escape from his grasp without him realizing she was gone. She slid her pillow into place under his arm, hoping it would keep him from waking. He needed this sleep apparently, almost as much as he had needed the release that he'd gained earlier.
"Mark is out there, so he'll be fine while you get ready," Carol whispered. "Nothing much is going on outside."
Michonne struggled to get dressed by the lamplight, aware that Carol was still in the doorway, and unashamedly watching her. Michonne didn't care. Finally she gathered up her katana, which she'd been allowed to take with her own watch, and started toward the door.
"Where is Sadie?" Michonne asked, glancing at the empty pallet on the floor.
"She's sleeping in my room so that Tyreese and I can wake her," Carol said.
"Poor woman has been sleeping on the floor like a dog for three nights," Michonne said. "I'm sure she'll be glad when all this madness is over."
Carol snickered.
"I think we will all be glad when it's over," Carol said.
Michonne closed the bedroom door and the two of them stood in the hallway a little awkwardly, the lamp illuminating the space.
"So are you talking to me now?" Carol whispered.
"Yeah, Carol, I'm talking to you," Michonne said with a sigh.
"Do you forgive me?" Carol asked, trying not to smile.
Michonne sighed.
"I forgive you," she said. She paused a moment and then pointed her finger at Carol's face. "I'm going to tell you this, though, if you pull some shit like that ever again, I'm not going to forgive you again," Michonne said.
Carol did smile then.
"I promise," she said.
Michonne wrinkled her brow a little, trying to fight back smiling at the expression on Carol's face.
"Get your ass to sleep," she said, finally, "we have a hell of a day tomorrow."
Carol nodded and started toward her room as Michonne started down the stairs.
"Oh, and Michonne?" Carol called a moment later. Michonne stopped her descent.
"Yeah?" She asked, lifting the lamp a little.
"I really am sorry," Carol said.
"Me too," Michonne said, turning without another word and heading out to join Mark for watch.