We lie in a tangled sweaty mess, neither of us wanting to move.

"I wonder what we would have been like if you had stayed on that beach with me in the first place" he traces over my shoulder gently "I wish you had" planting a kiss on my forehead he stands and starts to dress

"And where exactly do you think you're going?"

"If I'm correct the result of that mysterious night shall be awake rather soon and she'll most likely cry out for us" Edward has surprised me by how amazing he is with her, they sit there babbling away between them both. He picks up random shells he finds and watches in amazement as she grips them and then chucks them away, sometimes if I nap I'll wake to find them lying in the gardens him telling her his adventures whilst she tries desperately to roll over. Apart from feeds he never leaves her, even then he sits in the room. Although these thoughts fill me with happiness another thought drifts in as if to disturb them, just like before we've had a mad night without thinking of the consequences and now within the year we might have another child. Don't get me wrong I love Charlotte but another baby whilst she's so young could be too much. Shit!

March 13th 1721

The rest of January and February passed by in a blur, I panicked at every little sign that could mean I was pregnant. Edward didn't seem to question why I was distant which I'm grateful for, he always made sure that before bed he would tuck me up with a kiss on my cheek and told me he loved me. I was never really sick with Charlotte but I was sick before this stage, so I dismissed all of the thoughts from my mind.

I walk around the manor looking for both of them, my mind had been so clogged that I had practically shut myself away. I find them in their favourite spot under the large tree outside, the past few days Edward has taken pillows out with him leaving me wondering why until I spot Charlotte propped up by about five.

"Trying to get her to sit up, she can manage it for a little while and that's where the pillows come in" he shows me proudly, Charlotte follows up with a demonstration she starts slightly wobbly but sits upright for about four seconds until she flops forward showing that the pillows are indeed doing their jobs. Edward sits her back against the supportive pillows behind her and plonks a little wooden toy down for her, one of his crew members has been whittling her little toys out of driftwood. An old chest that Edward had dug upholds them in her room, he spoils us both rotten which makes me feel like the worse person in the world for locking him out. I go over to him and snuggle my head into his shoulder, the familiar scent of him is comforting to me.

"It's good to have you back" he whispers, following it up by kissing the top of my head and pulling me into him for a hug "We've missed you" I watch my little family and can't believe how selfish I was, granted Charlotte would have only been young but she wouldn't have missed out one little bit and Edward would have had everything he missed out with Charlotte.

"I'm glad to be back"

April 10th 1721

We fall back into our regular routines although now Charlotte is six months she isn't as dependant on me, Edward loves this and takes her around the island when I'm busy. I wake most days to find vibrant bouquets of hibiscus and frangipanis on the table next to our bed, it means they've been exploring. It's my birthday although Edward doesn't know this, he remembers I once mentioned April so he keeps bothering me to tell him. Today is no different Edward sits next to me on our bed with Charlotte, identical sets of eyes watch me their expressions are the same as well.

"I've decided that since it's your birthday soon and you won't tell us when, every day we will celebrate it one way or another and today Charlotte would like to go swimming" the past few weeks we keep going back to the far beach, I can't ignore the call of the ocean, I hate being stuck on land. We tried taking Charlotte out on the ship but before we left the harbour she threw a massive screaming match and wouldn't stop crying until she was back on solid land, Edward offered to let me go out with his crew for a bit but I knew he didn't really want me to so I didn't. So for now swimming in the sea is my release, she is and always will be my mistress and I feel I've been away from her for ages.

We reach the beach and as usual, Edward stands in the shallows and allows me to swim out as far as I can. I know he misses it too, the Jackdaw sits retired in the bay and I catch him watching it from time to time. I wouldn't change Charlotte for the world but I hope in time she loves the sea as much as her parents do. I swim back to the shore where Edward sits, he puts his arm out and I join him on the sand

"I've been thinking" he kisses my forehead before continuing "I'm gonna write to Caroline one last time, I need to know what's happening" we've talked about this a few times, it always ends up with him saying he doesn't want to "I'll wait a year and if she doesn't contact me back I'll take it as she has left me once and for all" and that's how the letter came about.

I sat with him that night whilst Charlotte slept, he stared at the paper for hours before writing anything. When he was finished he handed it to me

Dear Caroline,

I'm writing to you for what feels like the hundredth time, yet much has changed since I last wrote. I have a permanent residence on an island that I now own, I retired my ship although she is not fully out of service. I also write to you to tell you that I have a daughter, she truly is perfect. I remember once hoping it would be you I would have children with, but also understand that my leaving to the West Indies is what caused our split. It is because of her that I write to you to tell you that I won't be returning to Bristol and that this is a goodbye letter. I understand this leaves you in quite a predicament and fully support whatever story you tell people.

Goodbye,

Edward

"You're going to tell her about Charlotte?" I look gone out, I remember a few months ago he was too worried to tell anyone he was a father and now he's telling his wife all about her, although he hasn't told her about me and for that I'm glad

"Aye, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if she already knew, I wrote and told my mother I had a daughter the day she was born. Did you know that I wasn't back here when I heard you had given birth?" I'm so shocked he told his mother that I can't answer"I was anchored at one of the dunes nearby Tulum, my informant just took a while getting to me" I can imagine some poor bloke having to sail to him knowing only that I had given birth "I also told my mother about you, that I hoped Caroline would spin some story about my untimely death and that I hoped we might marry" I get up and walk away from him "What's up? I can't be that bad of a husband surely?"

"Edward there's something I haven't told you" I lead him out of the study and into the hallway where we can sit together "I was married before, it wasn't for long about two weeks. We were both young and believed we loved each other, he was naïve and very confident about himself. We were sailing with a crew, I was James back then to everyone else but him. The ship we were sailing on was attacked, he thought he could take on the crew of the other ship on his own almost. The last I saw of him he was surrounded by about five men, I tried to reach him but he was stabbed through the chest and thrown overboard" he watches me thoughtfully whilst holding my hand with both of his "I thought I loved him, although since having Charlotte I know that I have never really known love before" I stroke his face "So know that if I don't seem all that excited about marrying you, that it has nothing to do with you or with your wife, its just that I've had a bad experience" he caresses my face back

"Does that mean you'll marry me"

"Aye, that means I'll marry ya"