You strut up the walkway to the mayoral mansion at 6:57. Grinning ear to ear you raise your hand to ring the bell but the door swings open before you have a chance to ring.
"You're early Miss Swan."
You can't help but smile even wider, proud of your accomplishment at actually surprising the mayor.
"Better than being late right?" You flash a toothy grin in her direction and she moves to the side, motioning for you to come in.
"Henry is just washing up, he should be down shortly," she says walking further into the house. You follow her into the kitchen and your eyes land on the object that is giving off such a heavenly aroma.
"You baked," you say through a wide grin.
"Yes, well, Henry loves it so I figured tonight would be a good night to have it. He gets his favorite dessert and he gets to spend time with you. I'm sure he'll be happy," she says with the slightest bit of jealousy in her tone. You can't help but smile inwardly knowing soon she wouldn't need to be jealous because you were going to be a family.
She moves to the large island in the middle of the kitchen and starts chopping vegetables. You make your way over and place your hand on top of hers, "Here, let me," you softly say and gentle hazel eyes meet your own. You hold her gaze until the silence is broken by Henry bursting through the swinging door.
"Hey Emma!" He runs to you and wraps his arms around your middle.
"Hey kid, you all cleaned up?"
"Yep!" he says as he nods his head vigorously.
You look over at Regina and notice the tears forming in her eyes. You bend down so you're eye to eye with your son. "Why don't you go set the table for us huh? I need to talk to your mom for a minute." Henry glances up at Regina who turned her back to him so he wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes. You hand him the dishes and silverware and usher him out of the kitchen.
You walk over to her, wrap your arms around her from behind and whisper in her ear, "Hey, it's ok." You feel her take a deep breath and you squeeze tighter.
"I'm fine Miss Swan," a shaky voice tells you.
You spin her around so you can look into those hazel eyes once again before you speak. "Stop Regina. You don't have to pretend with me," you gently say. You bring a hand up to her face and cup her cheek, wiping away the stray tear that fell with the pad of your thumb. Before you know what's happening she pushes you away. "I said I'm fine Miss Swan. Shall we?" and she motions to the dining room.
"Uh, y-yeah," you stammer out. 'Where did that go wrong,' you think to yourself. You follow her into the dining room and take your seat across from Henry. An awkward silence hovers over the table like dark clouds before a storm but Henry breaks the silence for the second time that night. "Timmy shoved a dime up his nose in class today. Miss Blanchard had to send him to the nurse because she couldn't get it out."
'Well that explains her weird mood,' you think to yourself. "Why did he shove a dime up there to begin with?" you question.
"Alex dared him to do it. He said only geniuses had noses big enough to put dimes up, so Timmy wanted to prove he was a genius."
Before you can stop it, laughter escapes your lips and fills the room.
"Miss Swan, I hardly think—" but she can't finish her sentence before the magical sound of her laugh also fills the room. Your eyes meet for a split second and she starts laughing even harder seeing the tears in your eyes from your own laughter.
"Henry, you know that was dumb of this Timmy kid right?" you say, trying to show you are still a responsible parent.
"Yeah, because after it got stuck, Alex turned to him and said, 'Good job genius, now you have a dime stuck up your nose.' Miss Blanchard sent Alex to the principal's office after that."
"Henry, you know not to give into pressure like that. Don't you?" Regina asks gravely.
"Duh mom. I'm smarter than that," he responds quickly.
"Good boy," she says and pats his arm.
You sit there mesmerized by the small exchange between the two. 'This is how it should be,' you think. You smile inside telling yourself this is how it will be. The sound of your name brings you back to reality and you look to your son who is staring at you waiting for a response.
"Sorry, what did you say Henry?"
"It wasn't Henry. It was me," she says. "Are you finished with dinner Miss Swan?" she asks again.
You feel heat rise from your chest and flush your cheeks.
"Yes, I am. Sorry," you say as you stand up to help clear the table.
"Henry are you ready for dessert?" she asks him.
"Yes please!"
Once inside the kitchen she turns around and walks the few steps towards you to get the dishes from your hands.
"What were you daydreaming about Miss Swan?" She sounds angry or hurt or a combination of the two but you simply smile and say, "I'll tell you about it later."
"I don't like surprises," she warns.
"And I'm sure Henry doesn't like waiting for his favorite dessert," and you reach around her and grab the apple pie and walk back into the dining room. You can feel her eyes burning holes into your backside but you don't care, you just want to get through dessert so you can have alone time with her. But of course it feels like an eternity until you finally hear her tell Henry it's time for bed.
She's waiting in her study when you come back downstairs from tucking Henry in. She has a glass of cider in her hands and she's staring into the fire she built while you were upstairs. With the shadows of the flames dancing across her face and the way she was sitting in her high-backed chair, she looked like a queen. You clear your throat and she finally sees you leaning against the door frame.
"You ok?" you ask as you enter the room and sit on the couch across from her.
"Like I said earlier Miss Swan, I'm fine. Now if you don't mind, I have a long day ahead of me and I'd like to turn in soon," she says as she stands and starts towards the door.
You quickly reach out and grab her hand. "Wait! Sit with me for a minute, there's something I need to talk to you about." She looks in your eyes then back down at your hand that is still wrapped around hers. She sighs and says, "Very well, would you like a drink?"
"Yes please," you squeak out, your throat suddenly dry. You watch her every move as she walks over to the small table with the crystal decanter full of cider. You quickly get up from the couch and follow behind her. When she turns she lets a small squeal escape her lips, and you watch as the amber liquid comes dangerously close to spilling over the edge.
"Miss Swan! Really?"
"Stop. Put the glass down for a minute," you ask. When she makes no attempt to move you ask again, "Please?" and you give her the puppy dog eyes nobody can resist.
"Fine, if you insist," she says as she sets the glass back down with a clink.
You take both of her hands in yours and she opens her mouth to protest and tries to pull her hands away but you hold tight and interrupt her before she even has a chance to say anything.
"Please," you start, "just listen for a minute." She nods in consent and you take a deep breath and start again. "You're probably going to think I'm absolutely nuts and that's fine, maybe I am, but I'm nuts about you." You see her eyes widen and her mouth open but you push on. "Regina, I knew from the first day I met you when I brought Henry back, that there was something different about you. I told you I made a wish that day to not be alone and ever since then I haven't been. When we started these dinners with Henry I thought it was just because you wanted to keep tabs on me—"
"It was," she interrupts.
"Ok well regardless of that fact, things have gotten easier since then and I find myself missing you two everyday. I don't want to have to miss you Regina." You feel the warmth leak out of your eyes and flow down your cheeks. "I don't want to miss you, I want to be with you. I love you Regina." You can see the wheels turning in her head, processing what you just said. She opens her mouth to speak and suddenly your head is moving of its own accord and you crash your lips into hers. You bring your hands up to either side of her face and cup her cheeks but suddenly for the second time that night, you feel two very strong hands push on your chest and before you have time to react, a hand is flying towards your face resulting in a loud smack. You subconsciously bring your hand up to your own cheek and you feel tears flowing down your cheeks again.
"Get out," kiss-bruised lips spit at you.
"Regina wait, I can exp—" but you don't have time to finish before she's pushing at your chest again.
"You don't get to explain anything Emma. I said get out!" The tears fall harder now. You realize she just called you Emma for the first time tonight and it's not in the way you thought it would be; she's kicking you out instead. This is not how you pictured the night going.
"Please Regina. Please," you're sobbing now. The pain in your chest is almost unbearable.
"I said, Get. Out," she growls at you. She throws your jacket at your face and it takes all of your strength to catch it. The walk to the front door feels like miles but you finally reach it. She's standing there, one hand on the open door, the other on her hip. If it were a different situation you'd think she looked cute. But she looks anything other than cute at this moment. Tears are still running down your cheeks and you look at her one last time.
"I-I-I'm s-sorry," you choke out.
"I'm sure you are Miss Swan but not as sorry as Henry will be when he finds out he's never going to see you again." Your eyes widen in horror and you try arguing with her. "Don't Regina! Please don't take him away from me. I just…I just got him back! Don't do this to me! Please!"
"Yes well maybe you should have thought about that before you made your last move. Goodnight Miss Swan." And she slams the door in your face. You collapse on your knees right there on her porch, wrapping your arms around your chest. You can physically feel your heart breaking, the pain is unbearable. Sobs rip through your body and the tears are unrelenting. You have never felt pain so incredible. You imagine this is what it must feel like to lose your child from death, but then you realize this is much worse because at least death is final. No, you now have to live out your days knowing your son is still out there, living his life, you are just no longer a part of it and now have to imagine how he's doing every day.
"Please!" you scream at a closed door. "Ple-ee-ease don't do this!" You're still sitting there sobbing, hoping against all hope she comes back. The door flies open and you look up into unforgiving hazel orbs. You scramble over on your hands and knees, not caring how you look at this moment. Your hands reach up to her stomach as you sit up on your knees, "Please god Regina don't do this to me. I can't handle this."
"Miss Swan I'm going to say this once. So listen up. You have 30 seconds to remove yourself from my property. And so help me if you're yelling wakes up my son—"
"Our son," you interject.
"No Miss Swan, my son. He hasn't been your son since you gave him up 10 years ago. Yes I let you see him but that was on the premise you didn't get too attached and well frankly Miss Swan I can't trust you around him after that stunt you just pulled. So like I said, you have 30 seconds to remove yourself from my property."
You cover your face with your hands and cry harder, if that's even possible. You attempt to take a deep breath, something that will allow you to stand without falling right back down. You realize any attempt to breathe normally at this point is futile so you slowly get to your knees and even slower still, stand up on your unsure feet. Your knees feel weak, like they might give out at any second but you refuse to let them. 'Make it home,' you tell yourself. 'Fall apart at home.'
It takes you two hours to walk the 10 blocks home. Somebody said hi on your way but you don't know who, nor do you care. Your hair is a mess and your eyes are bloodshot from the amount of crying you've done. You torture yourself, replaying all the events of the night. You see her gentle eyes, her smile, the hurt in her eyes when Henry embraced you. You replay every little thing. You stop the memory tape in your head at the kiss. That's where you went wrong. You pushed yourself on her where you should have given her space. She was about to say something, but what? You mentally berate yourself because now you'll never know.
-
You're slumped against the back of your front door. After you slammed the door in her face, you couldn't handle the hurt. You leaned against the solid surface and slid down to the floor. You pull your knees up to your chest and wrap your arms around your middle trying to hold yourself together, afraid if you let go, you might crumble.
You can still hear her sobs. Her desperate pleas to give her another chance. To let her explain. But you can't give in. You can't let your heart win as much as it wants to. She'll never know how nice it felt to have her arms wrapped around you. She'll never know how you're heart melted around the three words she said to you. It had been so long since you heard those words from anybody, even your own son. But you can't let her in. You can't risk the heartache that would surely come along with loving her. She runs. She runs from the unknown. What if things got tough and she decided she was just done? How were you supposed to handle that? What about the curse?