Chapter 9

Take a Bow

When Clara woke up the next morning, her brain instantly began to overflow with thoughts about what had happened the night before. She stayed in her bed for a long time as she thought it over. Finally she began to dress and exited her room to see Benjamin and David on their private promenade deck eating breakfast. Clara walked towards the doorway and stopped as she watched the two.

"Good morning mummy!" Benjamin cried when he saw his mother.

"Good morning my little love," Clara beamed, "Can you run along? Daddy and I need to speak."

"Yes mummy," Benjamin said.

The child got to his feet and David watched his son walk into the stateroom. Clara watched him go into his room with Esther and then she looked back to David, "I do not want to be in this marriage anymore," she said, "You have done nothing but abuse me emotionally for months and now I understand why," Clara shrugged, "It is no matter, but I will not stay married to a man who says things like "Maybe she will jump off the ship and put herself out of my misery. I will not have Benjamin in that type of environment," Clara shrugged.

"You can have your divorce but you will not take my son from me," David said, frowning, "I will have that boy with me."

"He needs his mother," Clara said in a tight voice.

"He needs his father more."

"Every child needs their mother," Clara shrugged.

"As long as you intend to take my son, I will not give you a divorce."

"You are just an awful man."

"And I was forced into a marriage I wanted nothing to do with all because I was told you would give me many strong children. Instead, you have given me one little boy and all the others have died because of your weakness. Remember Clara, you were not the only one who was forced to marry someone you did not want."

She scoffed, "I do not have to listen to this. You are a horrible and cruel man and I will not stand for it." Clara approached the table and picked up some fruit, "I will take Benjamin and I will leave."

"Good luck with that," David stood up and threw his napkin on the table, "Over my dead body."

There was a tense silence, that lasted at least ten minutes, with husband and wife merely glaring at each other. Finally Clara spoke first, "Who is she?"

"Who is who?" David asked.

"Your mistress," Clara answered, "I deserve to know since you two could not even be bothered to be discreet about it. Did you meet her here or did you bring her along?"

"I brought her along," David shrugged as he said it, "We grew up together or at least," he paused then continued, "I grew up with her brother."

"How long has it been going on?" Clara asked, her eyebrows raising.

"Since shortly before Benjamin was born," David's voice was quiet as he spoke, "I had not seen her for years and we ran into each other at the shops. We started talking and then the next thing I knew," he waved a hand as if acknowledging something that he would not dare to say aloud.

Clara was silent as she processed the thoughts and emotions that were running through her mind, "So when I went into labor," she was very quiet as she spoke, "And you were not there until a mere thirty minutes before Benjamin arrived, is that where you were?"

David gave a slight nod but no words came out of his mouth.

"And I presume you paid her way so that she could be here?"

"Yes I did."

Clara sighed heavily, she felt old and tired as all of these revelations weighed down on her. David moved to speak but they were interrupted as Esther arrived back on the deck, "Pardon me sir but it is nearly time for the church services. If you do not leave now, you will be late."

"Thank you Esther," Clara said and with one last glance at David, she left the deck.

David and Clara did not speak again during the walk to the church services. They met up with their friends and the three couples sat together in the dining saloon-turned church sanctuary, in one of the front rows of chairs. Clara held her sons hand and she kept her gaze fixed to the front where the Captain would stand to deliver the service.

The room quickly filled up with the men and women who held first class tickets, dressed in their finest. There were a few people, Clara noticed, sitting in the back who were from the second class but it ended there. She couldn't help but wonder where the third class passengers worshiped and why they did not all just worship together.

"How are you this morning?"

Clara turned to see Thomas Andrews standing in front of her, "Oh hello Mr. Andrews!" she beamed at him and despite her earlier mood, it was a genuine smile, "I am doing very well today, thank you."

"I am glad to see it." Thomas bent down to Benjamin's height, "And how are you today young sir?"

"I am great!" Benjamin said, enthusiastically.

Thomas chuckled at the child's answer, "And you are taking care of your mother?"

"Yes I am!"

"That is a very good boy." Thomas stood up again, "Well I will be back in a bit, I have to run and take some quick notes on some missing screws I noticed were missing on my way in here, but I wanted to ensure that I said hello to you."

Clara chuckled, "Of course, thank you."

Thomas nodded to David and he quietly slipped out of the room. At that exact moment, Clara looked up as the Captain entered, followed by several of his officers, in order of ranking. Pittman was close to the back and instantly the two made eye contact. Clara was overwhelmed with yearning to run to the man and hug him. With everything that happened since she came back the night before, she wanted to feel the comforting warmth of someone's arms.

The captain took his hat off and set it on the side of the altar and raised his arms to let everyone know to rise for the singing of the hymn. All at once, everyone rose to their feet and at the strike of the piano keys, they began to sing the first song.

After the service ended, Clara gave Pittman the slightest of a nod before taking her son by the hand and heading up for the deck. She sat on a deck chair that was away from everyone else and while Benjamin played, a steward came by and offered her tea, which Clara took gratefully. Just as she was taking the first sip of the hot beverage, Pittman approached her.

"Good afternoon ma'am," he greeted, taking his hat off to her just as the steward eyed the two.

"Thank you for the tea sir," she said to the steward, "This is all I will be needing."

"Yes ma'am," the steward bowed and took them off.

"Hello Officer Pittman," Clara smiled up at him.

He sat down on the side of the deck chair beside Clara and smiled at her, "Captain expects we will be in New York within the next day or two."

"Really?" Clara's eyes lit up, "That is quite early."

"Earlier than expected, yes."

"Oh Bertie (a nickname Clara had given him the day before,)" her voice was quiet but hopeful, "Then we can go."

Hebert had to keep himself from reaching across the small space between them and taking her hand, "How was everything when you got back to the suite? Did he say anything?"

Clara gave a laugh and just when she was about to tell him what happened, Benjamin came running over, "Officer Pittman!" the child squealed,

"Well hello there young sir," Pittman smiled warmly at the little boy.

"I saw you in church this morning!" Benjamin stated proudly.

"Did you know that I saw you too?"

Benjamin smiled and looked to his mother, "Did you know that mummy?"

"Yes I did!" Clara took her child's hand and kissed it gently.

"Lad how about you go over there to play so I can speak to your mother and when we are done I will play a quick game of marbles with you, okay?" Pittman asked the little boy.

"Okay!" Benjamin jumped up and then took off for his abandoned toys.

Clara watched him and then looked back to Herbert, "Well he was not remotely concerned about where I was or why I was late. We became a bit distracted by something else."

"What would that be?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I have determined the reason for his distance and cruelty."

Herbert frowned, "You did?"

"He has been having an affair since before Benjamin was born," Clara told him in a deathly quiet whisper.

Herbert's eyes went wide at the news, "How did you find out?"

"He had the audacity to bring the girl along and have her in the room across from us!" Clara said, "I found them in the hallway last night when I went back. Then he has the nerve to say that his religion forbids him from divorcing me!" She laughed, "What a charmer he is."

"Wait," Herbert's face screwed up in confusion, "You asked for a divorce?"

"Yes I did."

"And he said no because his religion forbids it?"

"Yes."

There was a silence and then, "I may not remember much from Sunday school growing up, but I seem to recall adultery also being forbidden by the Christian church," Herbert crossed his arms and looked at her."

"Yes you are correct," she shrugged, "Part of me is not angry about the adultery because it would be hypocritical of me to do so. However," Clara moved her hand in a sideways gesture, "I am quite allowed to be angry that he will not divorce me."

Pittman sighed and ran a hand over his face out of frustration, "Well regardless, in a few days we will be headed West."

Clara nodded, "Indeed."

"Well I owe your son a game of marbles and then I have to get back to work. Can you dine with me when I get off?"

Clara nodded and beamed at him, "Of course."

"Well until then," he stood up and tipped his hat to her, although he really just wanted to kiss her.

Clara watched Herbert interact with her son for the game and then after he patted the child on the top of his head, she watched him head down the deck and resume his job. She sighed again as memories from that morning's conversation came back to her. She had been fighting to not let David's news bother her, but now that she was alone and allowed to process it all, she was really just bothered by how long ago it had started. Things began to fall into place, missed suppers or late lunch dates, where he would explain away his absence with an answer that never really made sense. Clara attempted to push the thoughts far from her mind as she got to her feet and headed back to eat a late lunch with Benjamin.

For the most part, Clara was successful in not thinking about what David had done but little thoughts reminded her. When Benjamin was down for his nap and Clara was able to finally rest, that was when her brain decided to settle down. She told Esther to make sure she was up by eight and then Clara went into her room to lay down. Within seconds, Clara was asleep and dreams did not come that afternoon.

Xx

A/N- I bet y'all thought I forgot about you, huh? I didn't have internet this weekend and it was busy with one thing after another.

Also I found a Titanic The Musical coffee mug which I drank tea out of earlier and I tweeted the actor who played Thomas Andrews on Broadway and he responded to me...

It was epic.

Anyway I probably won't be able to update again until Tuesday. I have to go to court tomorrow as a witness for something and then I have to work. So yeah, review and leave me love!

Love you guys! xo