A/N: *Uses best cheesy announcer voice* Last we saw our heroes they were embroiled in a conflict of morals and safety! What will happen next? I apologise ahead of time for the shortness of this chapter.
Four days passed before Nadir could stand to see Erik. It was his job to spy on him, but he started to weigh the possibility of defying the Shah against having to see the masked man again. His trust in him had been shaken, though nowhere near as much as Christine's had. Nadir knew it was the hashish that had caused Erik to act so terribly upon her, and he was honestly glad it was out of violence rather than other…instincts. He knew Erik had no faith in such a thing happening, but if he did it would be with Christine. She looked at him and spoke to him like no one else, perhaps like no one ever had. This was why Erik's actions hurt so deeply. Not only had she lost someone she considered a friend –chances for finding another growing impossibly slim by the day-, but Erik had hurt someone he valued more than anything. She was the finest jewel in his collection, but more than that she was a person, living and breathing, who had seen his face and remained beside him.
It was partially out of respect for this bond, as well as the friendship he had tentatively begun to form, that Nadir decided to pay Erik a visit. Knocking on the door, he absently wondered what he would find within. He had been bracing himself to be stern and not relent to anything, but thinking now what state Erik may be in sent him into worry. Following the assenting call from inside, he opened the door cautiously, dreading he knew not what.
Nadir was surprised to say the least. Erik was calmly at his desk, working away as he drew and occasionally read over notes of proposals the Grand Vizier had brought up in court. He seemed the same as always.
The room, however, was far from normal. Bits of glass littered the floor in front of the desk where the French doors had been shattered, the constantly abused coffee table was upside down and missing part of a leg, and the bedroom door was slightly askew on it hinges.
'What happened?' Nadir asked, though he knew he did not need to.
Erik stopped his work and turned to look remorsefully at the Daroga. He had no words, but he did not care. Nothing about the Persian's opinions of him mattered anymore. Looking down, he felt a darkness close in around him, despite the plentifully warm sunlight streaming in through the windows.
'Erik, this has to stop.' Nadir stepped around the glass carefully as he made his way to the centre of the room. 'You cannot keep doing this to yourself; it's going to kill you.'
'Does she want to see me?' Erik asked.
Nadir knew full well who he meant. He sighed, looking down. 'No.' He answered dejectedly.
'Then it doesn't matter.' Erik turned away.
There grew between them a long pause, echoing throughout the room. At length, Erik spoke again.
'I scared her.' He uttered, nearly inaudible over the roaring silence.
'Yes. She cries every time she sees the bruises, and I think she has nightmares, but it's hard to tell. She has mild fevers when she sleeps too long, so it might just be that.' Nadir shrugged, feeling his own incompetence in the face of her illness and emotional distress.
Erik felt tears prick his eyes, but he forced them back. He held his breath to keep out the tearful raggedness they insisted upon. 'I did this to her, Nadir. If I had only followed your advice and just let her be, she would not be suffering so. I ruined her, as I ruin all beauty.' He cursed, knocking some stacked paper onto the floor beside him.
Nadir watched the inner torture Erik was putting himself through over her. He was right in not wanting the two to meet, but somehow he could not bring himself to enjoy his victory. There was no pride in his being right in this.
Stepping forward, he placed a hand on Erik's shoulder. This was the first time he had ever done something like this, and he saw the apprehension in the man's eyes as he also realised this.
'She…did not say she didn't want to see you.' He offered, feeling the foolishness in his words, but also a plan forming in his head.
Erik turned away. 'No, I cannot. Not after what I did; what I could still do. I feel its unsteadiness lurking in my mind. I can't wash it clean. I'm too…too damn unstable.' He finished at a loss, hanging his head as he felt the pain of each memory with her stab through his mind. Her smile, her laugh, her grace and poise, her wit. All of it, forever burned into him like an engraving of all the beauty he could never possess.
'Have you ever tried opium?' Nadir hated himself for asking, but seeing Erik like this made him worry for the man's safety, and Christine was self-destructing. It was not a great option, but it was one of the last ones he had. Perhaps the poppy's calming effect could quell Erik's temper to at least find a way to apologise, gain closure, something. Neither one could keep going like this.
A flicker of a flame of curiosity sparked within Erik's eyes at the suggestion. He found himself desperate for anything that may give him the chance of even seeing Christine again. Much like that first day, he felt the intense desire to just be able to watch her, worship her from a distance, and admire her for the beauty she was.
Nadir was a bit surprised to see how much the opium effected Erik. He seemed just to come into a state of –admittedly unsettling- calm for a little while, until suddenly he wished for them to go to a bazaar. Nadir had never thought Erik one for crowds unless he purposefully drew them, and even less for the constant hustling of a popular area, so the request took him off guard. They went, nonetheless, and Erik bought many ridiculous things, ignoring the customs of bartering and therefore being swindled at every turn. None of it seemed to matter to him, though. He bought numerous toys clearly intended for Reza and a whole crate of opium. This last purchase made Nadir truly wonder about the wisdom in his supplying Erik with the addicting drug.
They were going to start heading back when Erik suddenly disappeared. Nadir instantly flew into a panic, trying to locate his lucid yet relaxed companion for the better part of an hour before the masked man appeared at his side as if he had never left.
'Allah, man! I was looking everywhere for you, where did you go?' Nadir demanded, feeling very much like a parent who had momentarily lost their child.
'I had to get a very special present.' Erik explained, eyes set on their way back to the palace.
Nadir considered asking further about it, but the man looked to be on a mission, and judged it best not to get in the way of that. They journeyed back in near silence, Erik's eyes ever set on some distant point that Nadir suspected to be the Gulistan. Sure enough, as soon as they were back, they made a turn not to go to Erik's apartments, but to the gardens.
'Erik, I don't think you should-'
'I'm not going to speak to her. She won't even see me. I just have to give her something.' He told the Daroga, making a hushing gesture as they neared Christine's favoured side of the botanical park.
They both stopped, just in the shadow of the archway when he saw her. She was thinner than he remembered, but still beautiful beyond words. She was sitting in the shade of a great bush of violent crimson flowers, curled up with her legs tucked into her chest. She had her head resting on her knees, though her breathing did not suggest she had been crying.
Once more making a quieting gesture, Erik crept from his hiding spot and over to her. He was completely silent, though if she looked up she would most assuredly see him. Nadir thought this foolish, but did not see any other way of getting close to her. After ducking down a mere instant, Erik was coming back to Nadir, showing no signs of joy or despair. Retaking his position, the masked man waited patiently for her to notice the gift. He had spent several minutes trying to find the right present for her, but felt quite confident in his selection.
Christine felt an odd breeze beside her, but did not think to act upon it for a few moments. She looked up and around her, searching with a bit of trepidation for the cause. She was about to give up and just admit she was going insane or credit it to her illness, when she happened to look down at her side.
There, on the yellow-green grass sat a small wooden box. It was neatly polished and the same dark brown as her hair. Relaxing her legs out a bit, she reached over and picked up the box, opening the lid gently. Upon doing so, a soft tune began to play. She did not recognise it, but somehow it simply felt like home.
Resting her face on her knees again to continue to watch her music box play, she let her tears fall. She knew who had given this to her, and what it meant. With everything that had happened, and Nadir's assurance that Erik had been under the influence of a particularly nasty drug, she still found herself somewhat afraid of her once friend.
When the box finished the tune, she closed the lid and held it to her as she started to sob. She was tired of crying, of being hurt by misunderstandings and secrets. She was tired of being alone, but she was too afraid he would not accept her if she tried to gain him back. She knew he had never wanted to hurt her and that it was not his fault the Khanum had him kill people for sport. She feared his own darkness would start to consume him if he continued to do these things, though.
From where he hid, Erik felt a wave of disappointment as she started to cry. He had not wanted that. He had wanted her to smile and be happy again, not weep. He noticed she was holding the box to her, so at least she liked it. Taking what he hoped was a bracing breath, he stood, compromising his position. He heard Nadir hiss at him, wondering what he was thinking and doing, or if he was in his right mind. Erik doubted the last part quite seriously, but he did not care. This was not going to be solved until he actually spoke with her.
Christine had sensed movement out of the corner of her eye, but she could not bring herself to move. She just sat there, curled up in a ball as Erik approached. She was initially frightened, though she was not sure why, but as she watched she noticed something different about him. He seemed eerily calm, which put her on edge. He came over, looking at a spot on the ground next to her, but still far enough for her not to feel trapped or threatened. Upon reaching it, he knelt down, putting his hands on his knees and casting his eyes downward. He looked like someone who was trying to coax a wild animal to him by appearing smaller and less frightening.
'Christine, I know you will probably never forgive me, and I don't expect you to, but I'm sorry.' She opened her mouth to speak, but he quickly continued. 'I know I'm a monster. I know that what I did to you, and do for the Khanum is wrong in your eyes as it should be in mine, but I just don't see the way you do. I've been forced to kill before to save myself and I don't regret it. Though I admit this is not the way I should be using my skills, I wanted you to know that it is simply a part of who I am. I'm sorry I hurt you.' He let a bit of his self-disgust into his tone there. 'And I swear I will never bother or touch you again.' He continued to look down. He had not the strength to face her inevitable look of fear.
'You hurt me,' she whispered, feeling absently at the bruises that encircled her neck.
Erik winced at her words. 'I know. But I'm never going to do anything like it again, I promise. I will stay as far away from you as I can, if that would satisfy you.' He nearly begged.
'Are you going to continue killing and taking the hashish?' She asked, leaning a bit to search out his elusive eyes.
'No. I'm going to stop all of that. I'm taking opium now, so that should help. It's really quite nice.' He put in with a dreamy sort of smile.
Upon hearing this, Christine leaned back. 'Opium? Who gave you that?' She asked, her voice rising in pitch.
'Nadir.' Erik answered innocently, looking up at her change. 'I bought a case of it today at the bazaar.'
'No.' She suddenly clutched one of his hands. 'No, please don't Erik. I don't want you to take it anymore. Please.' She begged, tears rolling down her cheeks once more.
'Why not? What is it that you want, Christine?' He looked at her expectantly as if he were ready to fly off to get whatever it was she wished for.
She looked at him a moment, seeing his pupils the size of pinpoints from the drug. 'I want my Erik back.' She wept, throwing her arms around his neck and crying furiously into his shoulder.
Erik put his arms around her, only looking a bit concerned over her sorrows. 'But I am Erik.' He looked down at her shaking form confusedly.
'No, you're not. I want him back. Don't let him leave again.' She wept.
'I just wanted to protect you, Christine.' He said, somewhat dismayed.
'Not like this. If you just be yourself, you won't have to.' She told him, calming down a bit again.
Erik felt himself through the slight veil of indifference and contentment pull her back a bit to look at her. He puzzled over this girl continually, but it was things like this that made him wonder how she was real. She slowly began to smile at him as he fought back the opium. It was a losing battle, however, as the effects were still too strong. But for one brief moment, he felt the warmth of her smile as she looked at him. That was enough. He had broken everything, but with one act of compassion and kindness, she had fixed it. No, they had fixed it, he remembered as she took his hand.
Though still a bit tentative around him, they talked for a while about useless things as Erik found everything in the world wonderfully fascinating. Were it not for the fact that he had done this to himself on purpose, Christine would have laughed at his constant state of contentment. Even Nadir, who eventually joined them, got a kick out of watching Erik marvel at things usually taken for granted. He was not shy with his opinions, though. But then, he never was in regular life, so expecting anything different was just silly. He did earn himself a few light bumps from Christine, however, as his verbal filter was even less strict. But each tap was accompanied by either a sly grin or a blush and mischievous gleam in her eye.
A/N: I love putting Erik in unusual situations just to see how he reacts. Thank you Melstrife for your review. I got the email about it, but the website's having troubles with showing them to me. It says thou art a guest, so I cannot PM to reply, so all I can tell you is to keep hoping for that good and we shall see where it goes. I thank you for your support and kind words.