A/N: Happy 4th of July to all of my US readers, and just a wonderful day to all of my non-celebrating readers.
Erik was happy to have things back to some state of normality as he began to rebuild the bridge he had burned between him and Christine. Thankfully she helped greatly in the reconstruction, allowing them to return to the way it had been before his own stupidity and selfishness had mucked it all up. Erik found her to be quite enjoyable to be around despite the occasional days when she could not stop crying, or the times she would get lost in her own head, or when she coughed so hard he nearly had to hold her until she could regain breath. It was not that he hated these moments of weakness, in fact, he valued them very highly as she chose him to be the one close enough to witness them.
Despite all of this happiness, though, nothing could quite cut through the stress that went along with being spread too thin over too many projects. He had the Shah's palace to build, the Khanum to constantly entertain, though he now refused to take her drugs or kill needlessly, and Christine to take care of. All of this was beginning to wear on him as the court grew more and more partial to his opinions. Erik began to feel like his mind was a thread being stretched too far. If one more weight was put on it, he feared he would snap. And he was pale with terror at the thought that he might do so in front of Christine. He was beyond lucky to still have her here, but one outburst from his dark imagination may sever their friendship forever and potentially kill her. He would do anything to keep that from happening.
It was with this in mind that he asked the Daroga if he and Christine might be able to spend a few days with Reza. He missed the boy dearly and longed for a break from the stifling world of the Shah. Nadir agreed, but warned him of a letter he had received from Reza's attendant. Erik assented grimly, knowing this may be the last chance for Christine to see the child before either of them…he could not bear to finish that thought, and refused to admit he was beginning to wonder if he could actually find a way to save Christine.
She was of course overjoyed at the idea and practically flew to the stables, ready to ride the very instant Erik had finished his proposal. He reminded her as they mounted that it would only be for a very few days as he could not be spared from court for too long. She absently agreed, preparing to visit the dear boy they both loved so well.
Oddly enough, the ride across the rolling and stretching greens did not make her cough. In fact, she seemed to be in better health than Erik had thought possible. He still watched her like a hawk, though; ready for any signs of her being too unwell to travel. It was then that he got an idea of something that would help him kill two birds with one stone. He only hoped it would be pleasing to her.
'Christine,' he asked, riding next to her with ease. She turned her excitedly bright eyes to him, making him smile in spite of himself. 'I was wondering if perhaps when we get the chance, you would like to come see the building site. I know how you enjoy getting out a bit, and I could show you what I've been working on.'
He did not think she could smile any wider. 'You mean it? You would show me?' She looked remarkably like Reza when offered the chance to learn a bit of magic.
'Of course. If you want to, that is.'
'Oh, I would love to, Erik! Your drawings always look so marvellous, I cannot wait to see them come to life.' She beamed at him with all the warmth of the sun.
'Then it shall be.' He bowed slightly, enjoying how she grew even more excited -if that were possible. He adored seeing her smile just as much as hearing her laugh. But nothing quite compared to the sound of her voice when she called his name. That was a music that he held above all else. It was partly out of the beauty of the sound, and partly because she would call from across the Gullistan, beckoning him over to her, and nearly bouncing with joy at his coming to see her. She was the only person he knew who was honestly happy to see him and have him near, no matter the time or occasion.
Erik found the treasured smile fading, however, as they neared the house. He searched every portico, balcony, and covered pathway, but no sign of Reza. He looked somewhat nervously to Nadir, who was looking rather pale, but not surprised. Christine was nearly in tears by the time they had brought the horses to the stables. She flew as she always did, seemingly not touching the ground any more than was necessary, as she went into the house. She searched and called to him, hearing his voice grow eager as he came out into the living room. He was in a wheelchair, looking around vaguely.
'Christine?' He asked of the air to her right.
'Yes, Reza. I am here.' She assured, floating down to his side and taking his hand in hers. 'I have come to see you.' She told him with a smile in her voice, though the graceful expression was lacking on her face.
'I am sorry I missed your trick on Ren. I was busy practicing the magic Erik taught me.' He told her, smiling broadly as ever.
'That's all right.' She told him. She had done no such trick, having been too concerned for not seeing him.
'Have you perfected it yet?' Erik cut in, seeing Christine's wandering eyes grow sadder and sadder as she noted the state the child was now in.
'I think so.' Reza nodded eagerly, taking Erik's hand happily.
'Well, why don't you show your father, while I help Christine to unpack?' Erik offered, noting that the young woman was not fairing very well.
'But I want for you and Christine to see it too.' The child protested disappointedly.
'Reza,' Nadir warned, following Erik's weighty glances. 'You should do as Erik says. After all, am I not a good enough audience?' He tried to sound happy, and it worked for the child but felt dull to everyone else.
'Of course you are, Father.' The child brightened, but still held a bit of dismay at not being able to impress two of his favourite people.
Erik escorted Christine out and into the hall that led to their chambers, quietly. Once the heavy wood door was closed, however, she burst into tears. Erik wondered to himself when he would ever be used to this, but one look at her shrinking form told him he never would be.
'He's…He's…' She could not even bear to finish.
'I know. It does this sometimes, progressing rapidly in a short amount of time.' Erik explained, feeling useless. He hated that feeling, especially with Christine.
'You know what it is. Can't you fix it?' She looked to him, knowing she was hoping against hope.
Erik shook his head sadly. 'I'm afraid it's not something I can remedy. It's not an infection or curable disease. It's inside him in a way that I cannot fix. I'm sorry.' He felt the inadequacy of his words as he watched her despair deepen.
'How long does he have?' She asked after a long while of sniffling back the tear which would not stop.
'Not long. If it continues like this, he won't be able to swallow anymore and will die from starvation.' He explained grimly.
'Don't…let it get to that point.' She told him with an eerie seriousness he had not seen from her before.
'That's for Nadir to decide.' He admitted. He knew this was hard for the Daroga to hear the other day when he had explained it, but now that they were faced with the deteriorating child, it felt somehow more understandable. Nadir was still slightly opposed to it, but what father would not be?
Erik was dragged from his thoughts by Christine's next words.
'You brought me so that I could say goodbye, didn't you?' She looked at him with sad knowing in her eyes.
He had no words, only nodding and casting his gaze to the floor.
Christine thought on this for a moment. 'He doesn't know about me.' She told him. 'He doesn't need to. I don't want him to worry.'
'That's wise.' Erik agreed. Any extra stress would do the child no good, and learning that the woman he brazenly admitted to love was dying would only serve to hurt him more. He simply would not understand.
Christine nodded, regaining composure and started to pass by him, but stopped a little ways from his shoulder. Erik tried to hold in the flinch and gasp as she reached out to touch his shoulder.
'Thank you, Erik.' She told him, looking him straight in the eye. She meant it oh so deeply.
He stood there for a few moments after she had left the hall, still feeling the warmth her tender fingers had brought to his skin, through his cloak and shirt. She had actually touched him, he realised as he closed his eyes to the pleasure that thought brought him. She did not fear him enough to simply pass him by, but stopped and touched him to thank him. His head swam just a bit as he began to feel something within him burst into flame. He was not sure what it was, but it felt good to have such intensity inside. It felt right. He also wondered how long he had been trying to ignite that fire.
Going back out to join Reza and Christine, he picked up one of the many mysterious boxes he had brought along with him. Most contained toys he had for Reza, but this one was special. He went over to the child and whispered conspiratorially in his ear. The boy's eyes widened and he eagerly nodded up about where Erik stood.
Christine, who was sitting on the floor digging through a mass of books the child had requested she read to him –as stories had always been his favourite with her-, looked between the two questioningly. Somehow, Reza seemed to sense this and tugged Erik's sleeve to get his ear. They whispered back and forth for a moment before the child was once more beaming.
'Christine,' he asked of her, clearly failing at concealing his excitement. 'Would you like to walk with us through the gardens?' He nodded at her eagerly, clearly showing her the answer he wished her to give.
She shook her head at the floor, laughing softly. 'Of course, Reza.' She stood, taking the handles of his wheelchair and giving Erik a grin that told him neither boy were being as secretive as they liked to believe. Erik merely smiled back as if telling her he had no idea what she was insinuating.
'Is she all right?' Nadir asked once Christine and Reza were safely outside.
'I think she'll be fine. It's just a lot to get used to and handle.' Erik watched her in the gardens. The soft greens and occasional flare of a vibrant plant highlighted her perfectly. If he were any kind of painter, he would have spent years trying to capture the beauty she so effortlessly displayed with every movement.
'Do you still regret knowing her?' Nadir probed.
Erik looked downright offended by the mere thought. He looked at the Daroga as if he had spontaneously grown another head. 'Why would I ever regret knowing an angel such as her? She is most likely going to be the best part of my miserable life.' Erik shook his head minimally before walking outside to join the pair.
Nadir sighed. He had tried he told the heavens with his eyes. He had tried.
Outside, Christine was telling Reza about the birds in the Rose Garden at the palace and how the swans looked so elegant with their graceful necks and flawless plumage. He giggled at some story about her cygnet, Petit, and how he had had trouble learning to swim at first. He thought it wonderfully entertaining to hear of the animals Erik had helped and cared for.
'Is it true you have a bat named Noir and a lizard named Fred?' The child questioned innocently when Erik approached.
'Yes, though there is some dispute over the name of the lizard.' Erik eyed Christine as she hid her laugh behind her hand. It was a thinly veiled disguise, but he did not care. He lived for the laughter in her eyes as he pretended to argue with her.
'I've brought something to show you, Reza.' Erik told him, leaning down more to the child's level.
Christine gasped as he brought out his arm from beneath his cloak. She had not even noticed he had kept it hidden within the dark layers of the fabric until now. Resting happily against him was a Siamese cat. But not just any cat, oh no, not for Erik. Around its neck lay a diamond jewelled collar. This was one of the Shah's cats. The Glory of the Empire as it was called, and undoubtedly one of the ruler's favourites.
Erik held the cat out and helped guide Reza's hand to the creature's soft, tawny fur. He watched the child coo happily to the animal, making it purr gently at the praise and attention.
'You simply must pet it, Christine. There's nothing softer.' Reza told her, turning in her vague direction.
She eyed the cat cautiously. 'I'll take your word for it. The Shah's cats don't generally like me.' She told him, looking to Erik to hopefully show a bit of the concern she felt certain he should be feeling towards this act of treason. If he was caught…she did not even wish to consider such an atrocity. Nadir, however, felt differently, as he came up to see what all the fuss was about.
Christine had watched Nadir for four years. She had seen him flustered, frustrated, distraught, and even quite angry, but none of those dared come close to what she saw in him as he looked at the stolen cat in Erik's arms.
'Are you quite mad?!' Nadir burst out. Christine nearly shrunk back at his sharp and biting tone. Erik noticed this and instantly tensed. 'Do you realise we could all be killed for your careless theft?'
'Daroga, I shall return her before she is missed.' Erik tried to placate the man, but his own fury was mounting as both Christine and Reza began to grow worried.
'Please don't be angry, Father.' Reza put in. 'I told him to as a joke.' He tried to look brave for taking the fall for whatever it was Erik had done, but his own fear at his father's unusual fury showed.
'Reza, how could you be so foolish?' Nadir shot at him, calming only slightly in the face of his son's admission.
'Stop shouting. You're scaring him.' Erik stepped forward, between the Persian and his son.
Christine saw the breach of safety and came forward, pulling Reza away a bit, but the child would not have it.
'No!' He cried, reaching out for Erik desperately. 'I don't want to stay here anymore! Erik, take me with you! Take me away with you!' He cried, hugging the now shocked man.
Erik had half a mind to allow the child to stay, but he could not bring himself to do it. He turned away, stepping from the boy. He simply could not do something like that. Reza was all Nadir had left. He realised then what he had inadvertently laid claim to. He knew it was wrong.
Christine took Reza back inside and knelt before the child, trying to calm him as he cried, repeating over and over how he wanted to leave with Erik. Despite her desire to assure the boy everything was all right, she felt a grain of doubt creep in at the thought of Erik's potential plan to leave. She knew he had promised to stay with her, but she knew better than to completely hold him to such a promise. Perhaps he intended to leave Persia after she had died. That was good at least. He could be free then.
From inside, Christine watched the men continue to argue. It did not escape her notice that the jewelled collar of the cat suddenly disappeared. Somehow she had always known Erik would be the kind to take what he pleased with complete disregard to the standards of most human propriety, but she had not fully committed her mind to thinking of him as a thief. She realised then just how much she had yet to know about the man she so daringly called friend.
When they came back in, she made quick work to usher Reza off to his room for a nap. She watched him go, his attendant looking at her somewhat pityingly as he saw just what all she had to deal with. Once the boy was safely out of hearing range, she turned smoothly from her slight crouch to nearly looming over the men who were both considerably taller than her.
'You two need to stop this right now! I don't care what your argument is with each other, but it ends now! I will not have you upsetting him like that again.' She burned them with an unmatched fury that they would not soon be forgetting.
'You,' she pointed at Nadir. 'I don't know what was promised to that boy, but you have no right to take it or his hopes away from him.'
'And Erik,' she turned, seeing the veritable mountain of prepared excuses and comebacks he had for anything she planned on saying next. Anything except what she did say, that is. 'Stop being so damn possessive of everything.'
She gave one last sharp glare to both men before storming out to go to her own room to cool down.
Nadir felt a bit bad about what he had done, but one look at Erik proved the man had it worse. Even with the mask, he could tell Erik looked traumatised. Nadir felt a bit of guilt over this, but before he could act upon it, his companion was heading for the front door.
'Where are you going?' The Daroga asked concernedly.
'I have to go return something. I'll be back late tonight.' Erik said, sounding somewhat dazed before leaving like a whisper.
Nadir watched the man go with a sigh. That girl had him badly.
Christine had asked about Erik's mysterious disappearance, but Nadir only served to put her off by waving vaguely that the man would be back that evening. When pressed, all the answer the Daroga would give her was a stern look that told her all she needed to know. She should know better than to try to lay claim to a man that was as transient as a breeze. There one moment, gone the next; all on a whim that only he could dictate.
She waited patiently for him to return, but when dinner was served without him, she began to worry a bit. Nadir once more gave her the look that told her to let the man go as she had promised she would, but she could not help worrying something had happened to him. The Daroga told her mildly of when he had travelled with Erik to bring the man to Persia, insisting that he had wandered off sometimes for days on end to explore on his own.
Nadir cautiously watched her take this information and wondered at what was spinning through her head. She had noticed Erik had stolen the collar of the cat with unusual ease, and she had seen him kill, what did she think of him now? Nadir was curious if these faults had inspired some distance between the two. She now knew what he did; that Erik was no ordinary man. Deciding to bring this topic up after Reza was in bed, he told her to wait in the living room to talk with him.
'I assume you wish me to end my friendship with Erik?' She crossed her arms and looked at him defiantly.
'Why would you say that?' Nadir stood firmly, but eyed her hesitantly.
'Because every time you wish to speak with me alone it is about Erik and how I must tell him something or distance myself from him.' She told him, letting a bit of her frustration into her voice.
'Christine,' he started in decidedly the wrong tone for her.
'When you are my father, then you may decide who I shall or shall not have as a friend. But until such time as you transcend space and reality, you must learn to accept my decision in the matter.' She announced.
Nadir took a long, laboured breath. So this is what it is like to have a seventeen year old daughter, he wondered to himself, suddenly glad to have been blessed with a son.
'All I meant to say was that you know little to nothing about the man, and already you are scolding him like you two are married. Are you not concerned about his background? His skill in murder and stealing? Christine, he stole jewels from the Peacock Throne without a care in the world and replaced them with cut glass. Surely you must see the curse of having one without morals as a friend.' Nadir begged, urging her to see reason, to see what he had seen Erik do while also praying she never would.
'Erik is not a curse!' She took a determined step forward. 'And if he is so terrible, why do you allow yourself to befriend him? To let him come so near to Reza, and to me? If you truly did not wish for me to know him, you would never have let him meet me. You know you could have stopped him if you put your mind to it, but deep down you know what he means to me! You could not stop it because you know I need him!' Hot tears were now sliding down her face as she yelled. Her stance did not weaken, but her eyes did, showing how much it mattered to her. 'I need him, Nadir. He keeps me sane. He keeps me whole. Without him I fear I would simply rather die than live the torment that is to come.'
Nadir watched her battle her inner instincts. She wanted so badly to be her strongest self, to stand up for what she believed in as she had all her life, but her body was betraying her. He could see the coughing approaching as her chest shivered in her attempts to constrain it. She wanted to hold onto something that could not be possessed, while also understanding its want to be set free. She was right on all accounts, but he still feared she was turning a blind eye to what Erik could truly be. He had seen the bloodthirsty fury in those dark eyes, and he knew of the horrors those elegant fingers were capable of, yet he had also seen Erik suffer to hide them from her. He had seen the man slave far harder than he should to keep his darker self away from her innocent light.
'Just be aware that not all light comes from the source. Some can be reflected without being absorbed.' Nadir told her guardedly as she fought through coughing to remain standing tall. Well, as tall as her five foot, five inch body would allow.
She nodded before leaving the room, still coughing terribly, but afraid she would disturb Reza with the sound. She did not wish for the child to worry needlessly.
Going to her room, she tried to calm her breathing and mind as it spun around Nadir's words of warning. She knew Erik was far from what would be considered healthy when looking for a friend, but she could not resist him. Something about the way he always looked at her as if she were the most important being on the planet, but not out of pity for her condition, made her feel warm and wanted. The way he moved and spoke exuded a sort of sensuality she could not quite define. At once full of longing, but too full of reverence to act upon it. He made as if touching her would cause her to shatter. He feared tainting her, while also wrapping her in a cocoon of his velvet voice. He did not realise how he consumed her sometimes simply by speaking. He was like a drug to her, and she was beyond addicted.
Finally finding something of sleep, as she allowed herself to relax with the sound of an evening rain that came down against the roof. It offered a sort of dampening to the noises of her raging thoughts and helped her mind to settle. Sleep wrapped its silver-lined wings about her as she drifted through the hazing mists of unconscious calm.
Her peace, however, was not meant to last as she awoke suddenly to the sound of desperate yelling in the house. It was Reza and he was calling for her in a frightened voice. Without question, she threw on her long white dressing gown and flew down the hall.
Erik, who had arrived back just a few hours before this all started, poked his head out into the hallway, ready to run to the child's aid, when he was struck by the sight of Christine. She always looked beautiful, but now, illuminated by a sudden streak of lightning outside a window, she was a pure vision. Her dressing gown flowed out behind her much like his own cloak did, only a stark opposite in colour. She looked once more like a swan in flight as she raced past him, not even noticing his presence. He adored moments like this where it was purely her.
Christine raced straight to Reza's bedroom as a particularly loud bit of thunder rumbled through the sky, causing the child to duck his head with a whimper.
'Hush, Reza, it's me, Christine. I'm here.' She told him, climbing into the bed beside him and wrapping her arms securely round his quivering shoulders.
'I'm scared.' He cried, burying his head in his curled up knees.
'Shhh, it's all right. I'm here, there's nothing to be afraid of.' She told him, squeezing him in preparation for the next clap of thunder as lightning split the ink-black night. 'It's only thunder and lightning. They can't hurt you here. You're safe.' She assured him.
Erik crept to the opened doorway of Reza's room in time to see the child flinch from the sound and burry his face safely into Christine's chest as she rubbed his back and smoothed his hair comfortingly. He could remember a time when he, himself had been scared of the phenomenon, but now was a different story.
'It's all right, Reza.' Christine cooed, eyes flicking to the doorway. 'Erik and I are here.' She told him, faintly hearing Erik's surprise as her noticing him.
'Erik's back?' Reza poked his head up to look blindly about the room in vain search of his friend.
'Yes, Reza.' He assured, taking a seat on the bed beside the boy, looking at Christine in wonderment. There was no possible way she could have known he was there unless she really had seen him in her flight past his door.
'I hate thunder and lightning.' Reza snapped with all the spite a mere child could muster.
'Shhh, now, don't say such things.' Christine told him a bit more harshly at his tone. 'I happen to like the thunder.'
'You do?' The child looked in her general direction with awe filled eyes.
'Yes, I like the way the thunder echoes in the hollow of my chest much like a baritone voice, and the way the lightning races its crooked lines across the sky. They're both beautiful in their imperfect way.' She told him with that childlike enthusiasm that Erik had marvelled over for some time now.
'Did they ever scare you?' The boy asked.
'Yes, once.' Christine looked to Erik. He felt the bottom of his stomach drop out as she continued. 'But not anymore. Now I think they're wonderfully unique. Beautiful, in their way.' She did not break eye contact with him as she said this, making him believe she had a double meaning. Making him hope against hope that she was referring to more than the atmospheric disturbance outside. He could never bring himself to ask, though. No, best to let his fantasy live.
'Will you sing to me, Christine?' Reza asked, interrupting Erik's train of thought.
'Of course, dear.' She leaned over to kiss the child's forehead before beginning.
Erik could hardly believe his ears as she sang an old French lullaby. He had not heard this song in so long he thought he had forgotten it. He had listened to it once when he had been travelling with the gypsies as a child. He had instantly loved it, but had not had the opportunity to hear it again since.
As Christine sang the beautiful lilting melody, he could not stop himself from joining her. He could hardly believe he still remembered the tune. She looked at him in amazement the instant his voice joined hers, but she did not falter. She was entranced by the way his voice blended seamlessly into harmony with her own as if they had been meant to sing together all their lives.
She felt as the melody transported her to a place she had not realised existed just on the wave of her own music. It was better than dancing. She felt herself melt into his voice, let it carry her away to worlds she had never before dared to go. The storm outside meant nothing as she floated along in their music. Their perfect harmony bring a feeling of absolute bliss and happiness to every corner of her heart. It consumed her, but only as delicately as if it were made of the night air itself. His voice was as hard as lightning, but somehow as soft as a candle's light.
It was only when the song was done that she remembered a now sleeping Reza lay in her arms. She had been secretly possessed by the music, taken somewhere she now longed never to have to leave again. She knew Erik felt the same as he continued to gaze at her with the same wonder in his eyes that she had.
'Good night, Reza.' She whispered, laying the gently smiling child back as he continued to sleep. She kissed his head one last time before sneaking out of the room with Erik close behind her.
Once they were back in the hallway and on their way to their own beds, she turned to look at him with what he believed to be starlight shining in her still misty green eyes.
She hummed happily in her smile. 'Good night, Erik.' She told him before turning to go to bed.
'Good night, Christine.' He watched her pause in step as he whispered her name in his softest tone.
When she turned to look back at him, however, she found the hallway empty. A shiver ran down her spine as she thought of his voice. Their song still echoed through her head as she gently drifted off to sleep that night, wondering what the next day would bring.
A/N: Bonus points to anyone who noticed the ALW lyric references in this chapter. Double bonus points if you find the lyrics (only slightly altered) that are not generally sung in Music of the Night. I love them because they describe Erik so perfectly, but they are normally left out for an instrumental break. There are a few versions I've heard with Michael Crawford where he sings it, though. Also, a big thank you to tarheelborn for following this story.