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Winston's calming hand still laid on her shoulder when she ranted that the stupid arseholes had not wanted to let her stay in the ambulance van with Lynley. The attentive Constable led her to their car and drove her to the hospital they had said Lynley would be brought to. It would be useless to try and stop Barbara from beefing all the way there so he just sighed from time to time and ignored her filthy language. It was not easy. The fucking bank robbery, the dumb medics, the bloody traffic, the annoying cases, the humid weather, Tommy's insanely stupid action and the unnerving Commissioner - it was all a big world conspiracy against her. Even the red lights on their way and the poor old lady poking along the zebra crossing. Fortunately the car windows were not down.

"You love him, don't you?" It was more a friendly gentle statement than a question. Winston drove into a basement parking lot. At least it seemed he had stopped her foul words for a second.

"Oh, shut up!" Barbara grunted and got out of the car. But then she stopped, her back still towards Winston. Did she really love him, she asked herself. Was it in fact more than just friendship, more than just a crush on her boss? Was it more than just admiration of his manners, of his dedication to the job, his loyalty, his entire appearance? Was it more? Was it really love? Her head fell to her chest when the answer was clear. Of course she loved him and she could not lie to herself anymore. Knowing she could trust her colleague and friend she quietly confirmed it.

"Yes." She nodded. "Yes, I do."

Shortly before they reached the floor with the A&E Winston broke the pensive silence between them. He had thought about what he should and what he could say. "I truly believe he loves you too, Barb. But you should tell him. I've watched him for a while now. It seems to me that he's too afraid to destroy the friendship you both have built over the years."

"So am I." Barbara quietly admitted when the lift door opened. "And other things."

"You shouldn't. Just tell him. One of you has to say it. The sooner the better. He might retreat again in case you would think that the only reason for your kiss earlier was that he just had to reassure himself to be still alive or that he was in need of an outlet for the adrenaline in his veins."

"Wasn't it?" Barbara asked with a huge amount of her own doubts.

"Most definitely not!" Winston managed a cheeky smile which made Barbara lopsidedly grin in return. He patted her shoulder. "You'll work it out! Everything's going to be fine. It took you both long enough."

Of course the hospital staff did not give her any information about Lynley. For them she was just his colleague, not a bit more than Nkata was, and the rules were strict to involve family members only. They would not tell her about his state and they would not even tell her how serious it was. They only promised to tell her when he was out of theatre when she had grunted something nasty about professional interest and sabotaging police investigations.

After giving her his own jumper so she would not walk around anymore in that blood-soaked blouse Winston and Barbara went to the hospital's cafeteria where he ordered two cups of tea and she started pacing up and down in front of the table.

"Sit down, Barb." Winston commanded after a while. "It's not making it any faster. And you should answer your mobile eventually. The buzzing annoys me."

"It's just the Commissioner." Barbara sighed but sat down anyway. Meanwhile her tea had turned lukewarm and with a disgusted face she pushed the cup away from her.

Shaking his head her colleague pulled his own mobile and gave a short report to Hillier. At least they were released from duty for the rest of the day by his highest command.

"I don't understand why they won't let me stay with him. His family is not here, they're miles away in Cornwall and Paris and wherever else Peter is roaming at the moment. Tommy shouldn't be alone and-" Barbara stopped and deeply breathed the upcoming sob away. "...and I need to know how he is."

It only occurred to Winston how easily Barbara said their Inspector's given name but he would rather bite off his tongue than mention it. Even if he was truly happy for her. At least for the fact that she obviously got rid of one of her personal border-lines.

"Be fair to them. Nobody is allowed with him while he's in surgery, you know that. Not even his mother would be allowed." Winston squeezed her hand. "He's in good hands."

"Should I call her? His mother, I mean. Or does it look too..." Uncertain Barbara bit her lower lip.

"Too personal? I don't think so. But I guess she's already on her way to London. Sir Hillier has said he'd call her and I think he already has by now. Oh, and I've seen the nurse checking his mobile. She would have found her number. Lynley surely has an ICE entry."

"He has. It's me, he'd said..." Barbara sighed. Winston couldn't help but smile about Tommy's gesture. It said so much about their relationship but obviously his Sergeant had not understood it or not dared to see it or only denied it completely. "First I only thought it was sweet. Well, I mean, he's my ICE contact too, but... I actually have no family to call, so who else could it be?" On her teacup was a little crack in the enamel and her eyes were fixed on it for a moment. "Later I worked hard and told my stupid brain not to interpret it the wrong way..."

"Seems to me it was exactly what you saw in it." Nkata could not help but smile at Barbara. He winked.

"I don't know..." There actually was nothing in the trees she looked at but she still stared out of the window. Winston shook his head. There was too much doubt in Barbara's mind, even after that kiss and everything that happened before. Their friendship, their art of working together, their way of easy and still restrained behaving around each other. It really was time that she and Lynley had a serious and open conversation about what was going on between them. "And why haven't they called me until now? He probably has changed it anyway."

Winston was sure there would be a different explanation for that.

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...