Determination brought her to Skyhold. Determination combined with the convenient opportunity to seek help on some exceedingly personal matters without leaving her duty to the Wardens. The Mother of Griffons would not abandon her post for anything, including her obligation as the Queen of Ferelden. In this case, she brought her post to her. Commanding suited her, hence return to Vigil's Keep after a few years in the Ferelden's courts.
Now someone at Skyhold could help her; the only person the Warden Commander considered an honest friend. Word had spread Morrigan, the Witch of the Wilds, contributed her skills to the Inquisition's mission. Certain Morrigan had answers to her questions, Caoilainn Cousland followed suit.
That is not to say that her joining the Inquisition's movement was completely self-interested. Her pledges to the Wardens to fight darkspawn at all odds were awakened when she learned of return of Corypheus. News of dreaded 'Conductor' became the catalyst for the letter she wrote, offering military assistance to Inquisitor Lavellan. She bought her way into the Inquisition with the promise of military force.
Caoilainn offered soldiers from Highever, the Grey Wardens and even Ferelden's capital. With nothing more than her own tenacity- skilled use of her connections- gained the strength to her name. Caoilainn's reputation as commander preceded her- having stepped into and excelled in her role as Warden Commander at the end of the Blight. It required her to rebuild the nearly extinct chapter of Grey Wardens in Ferelden. The order now intact, she promised a sizable troop of well-trained Wardens to the Inquisition's aid. As the sister of the Teyrn of Highever, she had negotiated borrowing a small troop of soldiers from Fergus with no resistance. The final group, a large donation from the Ferelden Army, had been obtained with a great risk and some cutting corners of the "standard protocol." Caoilainn finagled a large number of the Ferelden Royal Army to serve the Inquisition. The tactic occurred without permission from the King, timed with precision and care when Alistair would be on his way to a summit meeting in Kirkwall.
Caoilainn had been expertly avoiding Alistair since she returned to commanding full-time, five years ago. Offering the Ferelden troops wagered her successful evasion of her husband. But it was a bet she was willing to take to guarantee her position within the walls of Skyhold. The Inquisition accepted her offer of all troops and she siezed the opportunity and traveled to Skyhold in advance of the soldiers. Orders given to her Lieutenants scheduled the other Wardens arriving at Skyhold a few days after herself, joined by the Highever men. The Ferelden Army would arrive at least a few days after, if all went according to plan. And Caoilainn's strength in strategizing promised successful execution of plans.
Filled with newfound hope after speaking with Morrigan, Caoilainn attempted to familiarize herself with Skyhold while she waited for her troops to arrive, studying the fortress' structure and integrity. The architecture, though worn and beaten by age and elements, remained well secured. It would provide an advantageous defense, if need be, based on her evaluation: the dungeons nearly intact, walls thick, and battlements strong. The battlements had become a familiar location for Caoilainn as she continued to find herself on them, looking out toward the east. Constant anticipation for the sight of her oncoming troops made her heart beat faster.
The Grey Wardens had become her children, her family, her home and though they were all but skilled wayfarers, they were an order. Her order. When she became a Grey Warden over 10 years ago, she found purpose in her life she had not imagined possible. Nothing more than the noble daughter of the former Teyrn and Teyrna of Highever, she dreaded the day she would be married off for some strategic union of power. And so, vindictively, she rebelled as a child. Taking up arms in spite of her mother's disapproval; devotedly adoring her father's strength and resolve. But, she never thought her life would be anything more than nobility.
Then it all ended. What seemed another busy day in Castle Cousland, turned into a horrific nightmare with Rendon Howe's visit. Howe knew their numbers were limited. Many of their soldiers had gone with Caoilainn's brother, Fergus, to scout before the battle at Ostagar and those remaining were unprepared for an ambush from within. Last moments with her mother and father dying in front of her, urging her to leave with Duncan still replayed in her mind. After all of the horrific things she had seen during the Blight and even since then, the sight of her father soaked in his own blood would never fade from her memory. Becoming a Warden allowed her to right those wrongs: the guilt she felt for leaving, the loss of her family, and most of all, the corruption led by Howe.
Duncan, former Warden Commander, the man to whom she owed her life and the future she now had, died at Ostagar. Though she barely knew him, her gratitude was endless. To think had she known when she fled with Duncan that in a year's time, she would fulfill his responsibilities and excel in the role of Warden Commander. The girl from Castle Cousland was a stranger to Caoilainn now.
She pondered her goals for the day as she peered hopefully from the Skyhold battlements. To meet the Inquisition's Commander- again; another thing on Caoilainn's checklist while she waited. She remembered Commander Rutherford as Cullen from Kinloch Hold, Lake Calenhad's Circle of Magi; insensitive, overly-obedient, likely loaded up on lyrium. Caoilainn disliked him then and from what she heard about his adventures as Knight-Captain in Kirkwall, he had done little to change his close-minded ways, dutifully serving Commander Meredith to a fault. His promotion to Knight Commander in spite of that tragedy was another indication of the Chantry's need for reform. Despite her opinions, working with him now would be necessary. He retired from his role to assist the Inquisition, a diverse group to say the least. Something must have changed within him since he was now serving a Dalish apostate, the Inquisitor.
On her fifth day in Skyhold, as she conducted one of her morning surveys of the battlements, she found her way into an office near the gate entrance of the fortress. The office was empty; the desk littered with papers and maps. A lone candle burned on a corner. She looked around for any evidence of its usual inhabitant to find no one. In the loft above the office, Caoilainn spied an empty, unmade bed. Someone was there a lot and she deemed it peculiar they were not there now.
Her eyes darted back to the desk, tempted to sift through the papers for information, but before she could take any steps, the door from the battlements opened. A blonde man walked in, taking long strides due to his height. He was carrying sheets covered in symbols, sifting through them while he walked. He was followed by a younger, shorter messenger who had to walk quickly to keep up. The messenger was carrying an even larger stack of papers; he also had a number of scrolls rolled and tucked underneath his arm.
Caoilainn stood straighter; her hands grasped behind her back, keeping distance between herself and the desk so no assumptions could be made of her actions alone in the Commander's office. Without realizing she was there, Cullen sat down at his desk and the messenger placed the items in front of him. Cullen gave an order for the other man to leave, still oblivious to Caoilainn's presence in the room. The messenger bowed to Caoilainn, with a polite 'milady' as acknowledgment before departing.
Commander Rutherford's brows furrowed with annoyance and one lifted in question as a reaction. Then he realized a stunning woman in a blue and silver tabard stood within his office. Tall and beautiful despite her rigidity, her long, blonde hair captured loosely in a braid along the side of her head. Caoilainn expressed nothing short of professional irritation. Cullen's hand instantly found its way to the back of his neck.
"Oh… uh… I didn't see you there," he sputtered awkwardly. The sentence trailed off and his cheeks turned a barely visible shade of pink. Caoilainn stared back expectantly, close to certain he did not recognize her from their previous meeting, though certain he should. "Wait. Who are you and why are you here?" Commander Rutherford asked with minor suspicion recognizing the circumstances of her having already been in his office.
Caoilainn nodded as his questions answered her own regarding his recognition of her. She replied coolly, "Warden Commander Caoilainn Cousland-Theirin."
Cullen's eyes widened and he stood from the desk, pieces of information clicking into place. The relation of the name to face and what events from his history they tied came together. His face turned bright red as he recalled the incident at the Circle Tower. With every effort to keep his cool, he greeted her. "Oh! Warden Commander. Please forgive me. Welcome. My, it has been quite a long time."
Caoilainn gave a tight smile, an obvious disinterest in small talk. Unamused with his display thus far, she offered a cold reply. "It has been a long time, Cullen... Commander. I would not have expected you to leave the Chantry for the Inquisition."
Cullen's face burned brighter. As she intended, her statement quickly revealed that Caoilainn remembered him as the dedicated Chantry-boy from so many years ago. She assessed him standing there; he seemed to have grown since the Blight. Though far more attractive, his appearance did not reconcile his current lack of tact. Annoyed with his bashfulness, she did not wait for his response. "I am bringing some of my men and women from Vigil's Keep. They should be here today. I will need you to notify me immediately when they arrive, Commander."
As if the order to Cullen had been a cue, she felt the tingling of the Taint in her blood. Her Wardens were near.
Cullen reflected as she spoke to him. Although his memories were faded from extended use of lyrium, Cullen recalled the young woman who had set foot into the Circle that day. She was young, fair but determined and tenacious, even rebellious in Cullen's eyes. Caoilainn had embarrassed him by saving the Circle when he had deemed all were lost. Now this striking woman stood before him: powerful, strong, and hardened. Any naivety in the girl from ages ago was gone. This woman was calculated and downright intimidating. His attention focused with her order. "Of course, Warden Commander Cousland. You will be the first to know once I do." He realized as he said this that she had no authority to give him orders, but he held to his agreement as a level of courtesy.
Caoilainn nodded and turned to leave his office, but a passing thought entered Cullen's mind. Before he could consider if the question was appropriate, the words fell from his mouth. "Will the King make an appearance with the Ferelden forces?"
Caoilainn turned and gave a blank stare, momentarily stunned by the question. Obviously Cullen, the Inquisition's Commander, would know Ferelden troops are on the way. Apparently, he made the connection of your last name to the throne. Of course he did, she scolded herself internally. Just because she often forgot did not mean anyone else would. Her reply was professional and direct, like she was talking to one of her new recruits. "Good question. The King, unfortunately, is preoccupied with royal business." Caoilainn made what might have been an attempt at a pout, as if she were truly unhappy that Alistair had not been able to join, but there was no emotion in it. "Sadly, he will not be able to join us. Please make sure the Inquisitor is notified upon the Ferelden troops' arrival." Her direction to notify Alanna of the arrival of the Ferelden soldiers suggested preference of distance from them.
Cullen noticed this with curiosity but before he could process, the door to his office swung open. His messenger, Jim, returned breathless. "Commander, there are two large troops nearing Skyhold. One is under the banner of the griffon, sir. The other is under the laurel."
Caoilainn smiled proudly. "Ah yes, and some of my brother's men from Highever will be aiding, as well. Well, thank you for your time Commander but it seems there will no longer be a need to notify me." Lacking any hesitation, Caoilainn left Cullen's office and walked briskly to the stables to find her horse.
Locating her gelding, she mounted and rode out from the Skyhold gates to greet her men and women and welcome the Highever soldiers. The Highever men marched with rigidity, postured well on horseback. Their form on their horses matched her own. The formal style of riding was something that had not faded over time. A few large wagons with supplies and weapons were in the centers of both troops. Caoilainn saluted the Grey Wardens and the Highever troop and confidently led them on the march back to Skyhold.
When they neared the gate she slowed her horse and signaled for the Highever soldiers to continue to Skyhold. She wanted to speak with her Wardens before they submerged themselves in the Inquisition's affairs. The rest of the Wardens came to a stop behind her. Caoilainn halted her horse and gracefully dismounted. Turning to face the Wardens, the pride she felt as she watched them was immeasurable.
Most of the Grey Wardens were on foot. Clear they were a unit, each person wore some variation of the blue and silver striped tabard, just like Caoilainn's. She could not be differentiated from the group once she joined with them. Not in any particular formation, the Wardens didn't march in unison. The diverse group ranged from humans to elves, and fewer qunari and dwarves. Mostly rogues and warriors, though about a half a dozen mages were strewn throughout the group.
When they were done shifting and settling to a halt, Caoilainn smiled and called to them, her voice clear even to the furthest members. "Brethren! We are here to join in a battle against evil. It is that simple. You will be under the orders of myself and the Inquisition. From this point forward, we are the Inquisition. But this does not supersede our unity as Grey Wardens. We may not march in formation; our uniforms may not be identical and our weapons do not match, but we share blood! We breathe together."
Caoilainn stopped to catch a breath and to allow her words to resonate. More importantly, she took a moment to calm her own rising emotions. Her love for this odd band of soldiers was overwhelming. After a few breaths, she continued. "You have all been selected to join me here because Ferelden… no- Thedas, needs you more than ever. I have taught you to unify your senses in combat. We become one animal, the griffon. Remember this! I have and will always trust you with my life, Wardens."
She paused to breathe again before saluting her troops with a fist to her chest. She bowed her head for a long second, honoring the order and those fallen in servitude. Then she called out the oath each of them heard at their Joining. "Remember our oath! Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry out the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day, we shall join you."
With another deep breath, she called out their motto. "In war!"
The Grey Wardens replied in unison, "Victory!"
"In peace!"she yelled.
"Vigilance!" The Grey Wardens called back.
"In death!"
In a final cry, they all sang together, "Sacrifice!"
Joy. Pride. She beamed from within, though her face remained calm, strong in leadership. Caoilainn knew her love was felt by all of the Grey Wardens. This sentimental moment didn't last long before she motioned for them to continue walking toward Skyhold, allowing them to pass her and her horse. She stood with her hands at her hips, observing them as they marched on.
A low, gruff but familiar male voice from behind startled her from her reverie. "That was a beautiful speech, Commander of the Grey."
Caoilainn quickly turned to face the speaker. The man that stood before her, pale with dark circles under his eyes, his black, shoulder-length hair pulled back by two small braids. A simple heartwood longbow strapped to his back and a wicked smirk spread across his face.
A small smile crept its way through Caoilainn's professionalism as she bowed her head and replied. "Such kind words, Lieutenant Howe." She gave a smug frown, but mischief boiled in her undertones. "I wasn't expecting you to return from your mission in the Marches in time to join us. I will assume it was productive. I expect to receive your analysis on the mission later tonight." Caoilainn raised a seductive eyebrow before she turned to walk toward her horse. Nathaniel held its reins while she mounted, then returned to his own steed.
"I have yet to hear you complain about any of my reports, Caoilainn," Nathaniel's smart reply intended to provoke.
Her eyes squinted, mocking scolding. Nathaniel knew he wasn't to refer to her as anything but Commander when they were in uniform. "You'll pay for that," she said with a grin.