Disclaimer: I obviously do NOT own Naruto.

"P-please hang in t-hhere! D-don't y-you dar-re *sniff* close your e-eyes! PLEASE!"

She failed to disguise the building panic in her voice.

A few teardrops managed to escape her green eyes and dripped down onto his already pale skin. His already pale skin that grew paler as more blood gushed from his numerous wounds. As a medical ninja, she knew that with all the injuries he had and with the little chakra reservoir she had left, there was nothing more she could do.

Summoning his last bit of strength, he reached his hand out, cupping her face and wiping away her tears with his thumb.

"G-g-go-me-n. A-a-aishi-t-te-ru"

As those syllables left his lips, so did the light in his eyes.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *sniff* *sniff* I can't believe it! Just when he FINALLY confessed to her!" Sakura exclaimed as she dried her tears with a tissue.

As the credits of "A Shinobi Love Story" rolled, Sakura cleared the coffee table of the used tissues and proceeded to the kitchen to get some strawberry ice cream.

There's nothing better than some good ol' ice cream comfort after an "Admit-one-only-drama-movie-night".

Now that you are "OFFICIALLY" going out, you can finally enjoy…

Chapter 8: THE UNRELENTING DAILY GRIND OF "PURE LOVE"

As long as YOU establish that you and your significant other are "in a relationship", it is OFFICIAL… even if your significant other may not approve or even know that you two are already in a relationship.

It's YOU in the relationship, after all.

Many months have passed. Hospital life is as crazy as ever. But that's no surprise, being in a shinobi village. But what's as crazy as hospital life, or sometimes even more so, is Sakura's love life.

As Sakura slowly took comfort with every spoonful of strawberry ice cream, she could not help but ponder about the craziness that has happened to her lately.

Munch. The moment Rock Lee returned to Konoha after finishing his mission at Iwa, one cry filled the air: "SAKURA-SAN! I PRESENT YOU WITH THIS DAZZLING STUFFED TOY AS A TOKEN OF MY YOUTHFUL LOVE AND DEVOTION. PLEASE GO OUT WITH M-"

BAM!

Munch. 'I guess I should apologize to Lee. I meant to hit that thing! BUT HOW IN THE HELL DID HE GET THAT THING?! Too bad I didn't break my old long distance punch record with Naruto though.' Sakura thought as she savored the pure strawberry flavor.

Munch. In hospital life, you have good days, shitty days, and "God-why-have-you-forsaken-me-awful-I-wanna-frikin-die" days. For Sakura, it was the last one.

Three patients from the psychiatric ward managed to escape and Sakura had to capture them all by herself. One patient threw pee at her. Another started pulling her hair. The last one bit her. Also, while administering vaccination, a baby puked on her. Sakura got kicked in the face by a woman whom Sakura was helping deliver her baby. Tsunade started throwing a drunken fit about Shizune hiding her sake (which in reality was consumed entirely by Tsunade). Sakura had to go to the store (without getting to freshen up) to buy her Shissou's sake. Imagine all the looks she got from the people inside and outside the store. All this happened before a certain appointment she personally dreaded.

Munch. After months of being confined in a upgraded full body cast, Sai could finally say goodbye to the cast forever… or until he gets seriously injured again. A certain pink haired medic was tasked to remove the said cast.

Munch. "What's wrong?" Sai asked

"Nothing." Sakura answered

What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Munch. Three veins automatically popped onto her forehead "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT TEME?!"

"You."

Two things hit the ground almost simultaneously: her jaw and the instrument used in removing the cast.

Tip #10: Show that you are always concerned and interested in your partner.

Tip #11: Be open and transparent with your partner.

Munch. "I'm interested in you. Also I'm concerned about you."

The said instrument Sakura had dropped was relatively expensive. Yet, she did not move to pick it up as sheer shock rooted her to her place. Silence took over the clinic for about 10 seconds. She tried to break the silence but the pale artist beat her right to it.

Munch. "I'm interested in you because you suck at everything. You always have and you always will. You even preemptively suck at things that haven't been invented yet. By the way, I'm concerned that you look like shit. You know, there are things called MIRRORS, COMBS and MAKE UP. I know you're ugly, but I didn't know you were stupid too! See that? I'm being open and transparent with you. "

"Eh?! What was that asshole?!" The shock left as quickly as it came and without her realizing, hands became fists.

"Don't feel bad. I still haven't found your replacement, ugly. We are still in a relationship. " Sai said with a smile.

Tip #12: Spot each other's subtle signals.

Munch. "Are you mad at me, ugly?"

Sakura smiled a sinister smile.

BAM!

Munch. Her hand crushed the now empty ice cream carton. She threw the said carton into the trash can and washed her hands clean.

"GREAT! JUST FUCKING GREAT! NOW I OWE TSUNADE 5 MONTHS SALARY! SHANNARO!"

Speaking of Tsunade…

"TEME! YOU ARE GONNA PAY ME FOR THE DAMAGED SAKE… I MEAN ROOF AND CEILING! BUT FIRST, CLEAN UP THIS MESS!" a drunken Tsunade scolded a re-injured Sai.

The only thing scarier than an angry Hokage is a drunk, angry Hokage.

AN: Please R&R. Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, "favorited" and followed this story. It seems like "Idiot Guy's Guide to a Woman's Heart" would be the last Narutoverse-based story I am going to write, seeing as I have jumped ship onto another anime/manga series. But don't worry. This story will see an ending. So stay tuned! :D

SHOUT OUT TO: evil-angel-sakura, Guest (make an account dude! It won't kill you, I swear haha), The Fujoshi, honeyvonbunny, love diva100, FallenAngelBloodyTears, golden lily anime girl, ddjanie.007, DojomistressAmbyChan, Azreal Ezra, divprince, Art of Harmony, MichiyoYuki, urghles.. and the rest who I forgot to mention. Bad me, bad me. I shower you all with all the love, cake and alcoholic drinks in the world. CAKE SHOWER! BOTTOMS UP!