"We've got plenty of baby stuff and there's more powdered formula," Carol said to Maggie who was standing in front of her holding a squalling baby girl. "I know that Tyreese is going to find you a crib in one of the houses."
Carol almost laughed. The crying baby was pathetic enough but Maggie almost looked like she was going to cry right along with it.
"You don't understand," Maggie protested. "It won't stop! It's broken!"
Carol stifled a laugh. Her chest ached and she knew the laugh would make it worse. The smoke that filled all the houses now wasn't exactly making everything smooth sailing either. Now Maggie was in front of her in the living room and Carol didn't know where the rest of her household had disappeared to.
"Maggie, that baby is not broken. She's just a tiny little baby," Carol said. "She's probably hungry."
"And what am I supposed to feed her?" Maggie asked, her eyes wide.
"Give me the baby," Carol said, moving to sit on the couch. Maggie came over and gently put the baby in Carol's arms. Carol examined the angry child for a moment. She was very, very young, and she may have been a little underweight, but Carol wasn't positive. "Go down to headquarters and get some hot water. By the time you get back in the cold it should have cooled down enough."
Maggie nodded.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Maggie asked. "I swear it never stops. It'll make you want to kill yourself."
Carol smiled.
"I can handle a screaming baby for a little while. Go and get the water," Carol said.
Maggie left and Carol teased the baby a little, offering it her knuckled to suck on. The poor thing was hungry because as soon as she put her finger into its mouth it latched down to suck on it for a moment before it realized that it had been fooled.
"It's OK," Carol cooed. "We're going to get you something to eat. Your Mama is new at this, but we've got enough old Mamas around here to pull her through."
She ignored the howling for the most part and waited until Maggie got back to instruct her on finding the old bottles and formula that were still tucked in the kitchen cabinets from when Hope and Judith had needed them.
Finally Maggie brought her a bottle.
"Do you want to feed her?" Carol asked.
Maggie sat down in one of the chairs, shaking her head adamantly. She put her elbows on her knees and cradled her head in her hands. Carol offered the baby the bottle and the little thing started sucking greedily, looking at Carol over the top of the bottle as though she were angry with her for all that she'd been through so far.
"It stopped! Thank God it stopped!" Maggie said.
"Shhh…don't be loud. She's trying to eat, she doesn't need you to be loud," Carol said.
"Carol that thing has been crying for like two hours and we've only had it for about two hours and three minutes," Maggie said. "And what kind of a name is Walela? I have a child…which in fact is not my child…and that child just happens to be named Walela? You can't do that, Carol, you can't just give people children like that."
Carol looked at Maggie, raising her eyebrows. Maggie huffed.
"Tell me you want this baby," Maggie said. "You look like you're really good at that."
"Maggie if you'd tried to feed her, you'd be really good at it," Carol said. "She's just hungry, and you can ask Muh about her name if you want to. You and Glenn were talking about having a baby if I remember correctly."
"Yeah," Maggie said. "We talked about it, a little. We kind of thought that, you know, we might have our baby."
"Well would you look at this," Carol said, smiling. "It just so happens there's a brand new baby right here. Looks like a Rhee to me."
Maggie sighed again, running her fingers through her hair.
"Every Mama is terrified in the beginning," Carol said. "No matter where your baby comes from. You're going to be fine, though. Your instincts will kick in soon and you're going to find out that being a mother is one of the greatest things that will ever happen to you. You've got plenty of mothers around here to help you out too. A lot of new mommies can't say that."
Carol could see that Maggie was calming down, but she didn't know if it was owing to what she was saying or simply owing to the fact that the baby was quiet now.
"I don't know if I'm really ready for this, Carol," Maggie said. "I don't know if I'm ready and I don't know if Glenn is ready. We didn't wake up this morning thinking that we were going to be parents. We didn't have the same kind of warning that everyone else has had."
Carol smiled again, momentarily looking at the baby who was apparently beginning to think that a nap would be a great side to this meal.
"Do you think that I planned for Judith to happen the way she did?" Carol asked. "Or Sadie? Do you think that she knew that day that she'd come out of that school with Paul? Or look at Beau? He's practically become a daddy to those two boys that Libby has. I know he didn't see that coming."
Maggie nodded her head and took a breath.
"I'm just worried that I'm not ready for this. I mean you and Sadie, you had practice before. Beau might have to be a daddy, but it's different. I mean even Glenn…it doesn't feel like it's the same to him and we haven't even had this kid for a whole day," Maggie said.
"No matter how much practice you have, Maggie, and you remember this in case you ever do have children, each one is different. And no, it's not the same for Glenn. The difference is that you just became a mama, and being a mama and being a daddy are two different things. One day you'll feel sorry for Glenn because he'll never understand what it's like to be a mama, instead of feeling a little jealous because he might not be as stressed as you are right now."
"Are you sure you don't want her?" Maggie asked.
Carol smiled and shook her head.
"No, Maggie, I don't want your baby. Walela is your little one, and right now she's just about ready to be burped and then I think she's going to consider having a nice snuggle and a nap with you if you think you're ready for it," Carol said. "You can take her to your house, start settling in with her. Tyreese is already out there finding you a crib, so he might even beat you back. I'll get together diapers and things for you and get him to bring you a care package over."
Maggie got up and walked over, looking at the baby as Carol eased her up, leaning her over her hand and rubbing her back until she burped.
"Do you have a blanket?" Carol asked.
Maggie shook her head.
"OK, I'll make sure you get blankets too. You need to keep her bundled up. It's too cold for her little body to be outside without a blanket right now and swaddling her will make her feel safer. Go upstairs and get one of the blankets that's thrown over the side of that extra crib," Carol commanded.
When Maggie came back, holding the blanket out, Carol wrapped the baby in it.
"Here, now you take her," Carol said. Maggie eased the baby up and hugged her to her.
"She's going to sleep," Maggie whispered.
Carol smiled.
"I know," she whispered back. "Keep her close to you for a little while and try to stay calm. If you get upset then she'll get upset because she doesn't know what's happening. I'll make sure you get everything you need."
"Thank you," Maggie said, smiling for the first time since she'd shown up at the door. Carol nodded at her and watched as she started toward the door with the baby.
"Maggie," Carol said.
Maggie turned to look back at her over her shoulder.
"Congratulations," Carol said.
Maggie smiled a little and nodded, pulling the door open and letting herself out.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 111
Daryl first began to suspect something was going on when he saw Sadie leaving his house with Hope on her hip and leading Judith by the hand. She took the girls from time to time, but she appeared to be fully focused on what she was doing. Daryl was just coming up from having fed the animals, so he double stepped to the porch and mounted the steps there two at a time.
"Somethin' wrong?" He called out.
Carol came to the top of the steps.
"I don't want you to freak out, Daryl, but do you think you could go and round up Mark and Muh?" Carol asked.
"What's goin' on? Is the baby comin'?" Daryl called back.
"Yes, Daryl, the baby's coming, but it's not going to be here any time soon, so you can take your time. Go and get them, please. And could you tell Rachel that we're going to need hot water? I've got everything else already." Carol called back.
Daryl suddenly felt like his heart would explode it was beating so hard. They'd planned for this, somewhat rehearsed it, and he thought he wouldn't get overwhelmed, but right this moment he felt like it was too much to process. He wanted to run up the stairs and check on Michonne, but he wanted to find the others. In fact he just wanted them to already be there so he didn't have to run around trying to round them up when his baby was coming.
"'Chonne OK?" He called.
"Fine, Daryl, just go get the others," Carol called down.
Daryl turned as quickly as he could and charged out the door to round up everyone that was supposed to be involved in the birth.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
Daryl sat on the porch swing beside Tyreese, despite the cold, smoking a cigarette. He was grateful that Tyreese was willing to sit with him.
"They run me out again," Daryl said, "just like with Hope."
Tyreese chuckled.
"Hey man, sometimes it just happens that way," Tyreese said. "Carol said she come and get you when Michonne's ready to start pushing, though, so you're not missing the exciting part."
"What if she forgets to come and get me?" Daryl asked.
He was sulking. He knew he was sulking and he didn't care. He'd intended to be there for this birth, the whole thing. Beginning to end. He'd missed the beginning, though, and he'd had to round everyone up. Then Carol kept sending him on all these little errands to get this and get that. Finally they'd asked him to come and sit on the porch or sit in the living room if he thought he could stay down there. He'd come on the porch because sitting in the living room was driving him crazy because he could hear everything but see nothing.
"Carol is not going to forget to come and get you," Tyreese said. "Woman's got a memory like an elephant for anything she wants to remember. Now if she didn't want to remember it…then you might be in trouble."
"Said I asked too many questions," Daryl said, taking a drag off his cigarette.
Tyreese chuckled again.
"When my daughter was born," Tyreese said, "my wife kept sending me out of the hospital room to go and get the most ridiculous things. It was probably my fifteenth trip to the car or the gift shop or the nurse's station before I realized that she was just running me out of the room and trying to be nice about instead of just telling me to go. It can be overwhelming. You want to help, but you really can't help."
"'Chonne tells me she's fine one minute and the next she's lookin' anything but fine but there ain't nothin' that nobody's doin' 'bout it," Daryl said. "I know they just gotta work their way out, but it seems like ya oughta be able to do somethin'."
Tyreese chuckled again and rocked the swing with his foot, shaking both of them.
"That's just nature, Daryl. Birth is a lot more exciting, I guess you could say, for the mother than it is for the father. Michonne's busy, but you're just out here holding down this rickety swing with me," Tyreese said. "You'll get to be in there in a little while, though, and then you get to do the hand holding and all that."
"Still don't feel like doin' much," Daryl said. "But at least it's better than nothin'."
"That's true," Tyreese said, "it's better than nothing."
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
Daryl thought that he didn't have to wait as long outside as he had with Hope. Finally they called him in and he rushed up the stairs, beating Mark who had come down by a few minutes. He bounded into the room, already knowing what to expect and waited rather impatiently for Rachel, who was sitting behind MIchonne and supporting her, to move so that he could get on the bed behind Michonne.
"I got'cha," he said, pulling Michonne up against his chest. He wrapped his arms around, trying to open himself up so that she could grab at whatever it was she wanted to hold onto. Carol stood at the foot of the bed, occasionally helping Muh with whatever it was she was doing between Michonne's legs to help her with the baby and giving her a pep talk that consisted mostly of telling her how good she was doing, how soon the baby would be there, and things like that. Daryl wasn't sure that it helped or not, but he figured it couldn't hurt.
Daryl ignored the fact that Michonne dug her fingers into his thighs once she started pushing. He picked up Carol's mantra and they both repeated it. He figured if one person saying it was good, two people saying it was better.
"You doin' good, 'Chonne," he repeated. "Baby's gonna be here soon, 'Chonne, you doin' good, real good. Keep goin'."
Daryl kept glancing at Muh who was concentrating on whatever it was she was doing and he glanced around from time to time taking in the room. Michonne was completely naked, but Daryl was positive that was absolutely her last concern at the moment. Michonne was also oily, though Daryl wasn't really sure why. The oil had a good smell to it, though, so at least there was that to be thankful for. He imagined it may have been some of Muh's doing, since she was famous for all kinds of poultices and the like. Mark and Rachel stood to the side with their arms crossed as though they were waiting for something, and Daryl assumed that they had roles or were there just in case they were needed.
Daryl guessed that it had been about a half an hour since he'd arrived before Carol's chants to Michonne changed. One of his legs was beginning to go very numb from being trapped in an odd position, and the other he was sure was going to show quite a few war wounds from Michonne's fingers.
Leaned against him, Michonne was obviously suffering, and she bucked back against him from time to time. He did his best, though, to support her and hoped he was offering her everything he could. Carol assured Michonne, and him at the same time, that the baby was almost there. Michonne was on her second of the "one more pushes" when she finally sunk against Daryl, immediately less tense than she had been and Carol cheered.
Daryl looked toward the foot of the bed in time to seen Muh smiling up at him, her toothless gums completely visible for a second before she dipped her head again and a moment later Carol lifted the baby up and carried it over to a table that they'd brought in for just the occasion of the birth.
"You have a son," Muh said.
Daryl realized he was holding his breath as soon as the baby started wailing. Carol was mopping at the baby or something, and he couldn't see it well from where he was. Michonne leaned back against him and he leaned around her, kissing the side of her face.
"I told ya it was a boy," he said.
Michonne smiled slightly at him, and moved her hand to wrap his in it.
"You were right," she said.
Daryl nuzzled the side of her face, kissing her again.
"Ya done good," he said. "I love ya."
"I love you too," she said.
Daryl watched as Carol came around, the baby in her arms wrapped in a blanket. She leaned slightly over the bed, stretching her hands out and gently put the baby in Michonne's arms. Daryl leaned over Michonne and tried to see his son who had already quieted down.
"He's perfect," Carol said. "Ten fingers, ten toes, and we can already tell he's got a set of lungs."
"He is perfect," Michonne said, opening the blanket a little and examining the baby. "And I know his daddy is dying to hold him." She said, looking at Carol.
Carol reached and took the baby back.
"Come on, daddy," she said to Daryl. "Why don't you take him downstairs where it's warmer for just a bit? We'll finish up in here and Mark and Rachel can go and get everyone to come around and admire him."
Daryl slipped from around Michonne, supporting her with one arm while he quickly arranged the pillows behind her. He eased her back on the pillows and kissed her.
"No more," she said, narrowing her eyes at him when he pulled away. Daryl smiled.
"No more, 'Chonne," Daryl said. "We all done."
Michonne smiled at him and made a kissing face so he brought his lips back to hers for a moment. Finally, he stood up and accepted the baby from Carol.
"He seems too little," Daryl said.
Carol smiled at him.
"That's just because you've forgotten how little they are when they're brand new. He's just fine. Now take him downstairs and keep him warm. We'll let you know when everything here is done and Michonne's resting and ready to give the little guy is first meal," Carol said, tucking the blanket around the baby that was snuggled into Daryl's arms. "Does he have a name?"
"Zeb," Daryl said, grinning. "Right, 'Chonne?"
"Right," Michonne said.
"It's a nice name," Muh said. "It is suiting for such a strong young man."
Mark and Rachel slipped out of the room and down the stairs. Daryl carefully carried the baby that seemed to be sleeping now and eased down the stairs one at a time in an effort not to jostle his brand new son. He heard them disappear out the door long before he finally made it to bottom and carefully crossed the living room, sitting carefully on the side of the couch closest to the fireplace so that the baby wouldn't get cold.
Daryl didn't dare to completely uncover the baby for fear that the chill in the house would be too much for him, but he did carefully root around inside the blanket until he found one of his tiny hands. Daryl spread his son's little fingers over his fingertip and marveled at him. He was so little, yet everything on him looked so perfect.
Daryl felt, for just a moment, that his life was more perfect than he'd imagined it could ever be. Upstairs they were taking care of Michonne and she was fine. The birth had held no traumatic events for her and it hadn't ended in any of the nightmarish ways that Daryl had feared from time to time. She was just fine. His daughter would be there soon, excited to see the "bebe" as she would call him. And now his son was sleeping, nestled in the crook of his arm.
For a world that had gone to hell, Daryl wasn't sure that he could possibly feel like things were any more wonderful.