Just few more minutes and we'll be on our way. And then it will be all over. I so wish Lou had come with me to Dignitas. Am I a monster by asking her to do this, to be with me until the last moment? She said she loves me. Wouldn't you do anything for the person you love. Yes, I am a monster, cripple who can only be a burden to others. It's better this way, for me her, everybody. No more pain, no …. A noise coming from the corridor pulled me out of thoughts. I vaguely heard someone talking to my father. I moved closer to see who it is. The voice was becoming more distressed behind the door. Suddenly the door opened abruptly.

My father looked a bit flustered - 'Will, did you see Lou since Saturday. I thought she said she is going to her parents? Mr. Clark is here, Lou never arrived.'

Mr. Clark picked behind my dad. - '.. and her phone goes to voicemail. Hello Will'-his eyes a bit watery, face marked with worry – 'you are looking good, I hear you had good time. Has Lou not come back to the annex?'

'No, she said she wants to go home.' – I was unable to say anything else. Million thoughts shooting through my head. Why? Where?

There was awkward moment of silence.

'Ok, thank you, yes , right – he looked lost in his thought- I 'll go then . I'll check with Pat. Maybe.. – he turned around.

'I am ready, we can go now '. – Mother walked in, gazing at the floor, not addressing anybody in particular, only now acknowledging Mr Clark presence.

Mr Clark looked at the luggage standing at the corridor – 'Are you traveling again? That's nice Will. I hope you will enjoy it. I will be going then, I don't want to interrupt'.

'Mr Clark, I am sure she is fine. But do let us know if you need any.. – dad broke mid-sentence

'Yes, yes, of course she's fine. – he trailed off , closing the door behind him.

We stood there all for a minute without a word. –'shell we? '- dad started.

'No'- I said shortly.

'What do you mean no, we could miss the flight, you don't want to go? Have you changed your mind? - I tiny hint of hope in my Mothers voice.

'No I didn't change my mind, don't get your hopes up, I'll just change the appointment. I can't go right now until I know she is safe. You can unpack.'

I wasn't just disappointed that my plans went to hell, I was angry really angry, but I was also anxious. What happened? I hoped Lou is with Pat. No, I didn't, going back to Pat would be a disaster for her, not for him of course. This guy has nothing to offer her. Oh, I just hope she is safe even if this means that she is with Mr Fit guy. Fingers crossed she is safe but without Pat. I'll need to ask Nathan to cross the fingers for me, since I can't cross mine. Uggh.. I need Nathan. I hope he can do few more days.

Two days later my mother was pleased to tell me Ms Clark was all safe and back with her parent. She was even more pleased, when Diginitas confirmed the appointment was postponed till 27 of September. So now I had additional 6 long weeks of my wonderful, precious life.