Middle Ground

Chapter 13

My birthday rolled around and since celebration with the family has to wait till next week, I am celebrating with all of you :)

Morning didn't come as fast as he would have thought. Time didn't fly when emotions were running out of control and everything that had once seemed orderly, and sensible was now a great heap of confusion, fear, frustration and unadulterated happiness, swirled together and so tightly intertwined that he couldn't separate one from the other; they came and went in waves and left him feeling uncoordinated and untethered. Freed from a life that had begun, slowly, to box him in, but without roots now, and without comprehension. His entire life had been about feeling, first and foremost, but it had never been without control. If anything, his dancing method had allowed him full control from start to finish, never giving anyone else a chance to surpass him, or move ahead. He'd anticipated every move of those around him, and had danced his way right through. Now, though...

Now that time was over. And it was all because of one line he'd crossed with one woman.

Dawn wasn't even on the rise yet, but everything had changed within the span of a few hours. He needed to make choices, and some of those weren't his alone to make. He'd handed over control months ago, but he hadn't felt it as much as he did now. The woman he was currently pressed up against, who twitched in her sleep and dreamt intensely, muttered and frowned even in rest. Rest in motion and motion in rest, was Elphaba. He doubted if he'd ever really be able to keep up.

If he wanted to try, though...if he wanted to start trying, he'd have to start making deliberate choices now. He'd have to start cutting ties. Today.

He moved off her to sit back on his knees and pulled her up.

"Elphaba."

She was awake immediately; big brown eyes wide open and zeroed in on his face. He reached out and brushed her hair back behind her ears, as much to calm her as to steady his trembling hands. He might have gone too far tonight, and even though she'd wanted it just as much, he felt the need to apologize. He'd moved too fast, even if it had been a long time coming, and she ough to know that, at least.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wasn't...I didn't..."

He ran his hands through his hair, over his face.

"I wasn't thinking straight. I was ….when you didn't show...I thought..."

He took a deep breath and tried again.

"I heard about it. That they saw you. And when you didn't show I thought..."

She blinked, and tried to move, to sit up. Oz, she just wanted to sleep for a week.

"I know. I'm fine though."

Her eyes were open, she was aware of every inch of his body, but her legs trembled and her voice was raspy.

She forced her body to roll over and reached out an arm. Everything seemed better in the dark somehow. For them, it was better in the dark.

"They can't aim to save their lives."

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...are you okay?"

She sat up slowly, her movements languid both because of sheer exhaustion and because every muscle in her body seemed to hurt, and moved her hands to his upper arms and nodded.

"I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. I'm fine."

"But I...I..."

She smiled a little awkwardly.

"Yes, well...I guess you really were worried."

He shook his head and grimaced.

"I was. I mean...I was, but..."

"But what?"

"I …..."

"Fiyero?"

"I've been wanting to do that for a very long time."

She should have been surprised to hear it. And she was, in the sense that no man that beautiful and altogether wonderful should probably feel that way about her. But she wasn't because she'd been wanting it too. And she couldn't deny what had been there for these past few months.

And it wasn't fair to hide it from him. He felt genuinely bad, looking at her as if waiting for judgement. For punishment.

She wanted to tell him that she had wanted it too, but she couldn't get the words out. So instead, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

He pulled back in shock, his eyes wide. She couldn't blame him for that; even she herself hadn't seen this coming. This acceptance she felt. She still felt, even hours after.

"Elphaba?"

She shushed him with another kiss. He responded this time, and his hands found their way back to her hair but he leaned back again to look at her.

"Elphaba..."

She smiled and let her hands land on his collar, her fingers touching the bare skin there.

"Don't. Just..."

She was scared and she was convinced she would regret all of this. But even with the regret it would be worth it. She'd needed this. She'd wanted this. She wanted this so badly.

She looked him in the eye to convince him she was of sound mind and kissed his cheek. Then the other and the corner of his mouth. She felt his fingers flex and curl into her hair and looked at him without smiling.

"Just kiss me."

And he did.

Very slowly, we make our way towards Act 2...and to answer the reviewer, who I so rudely did not answer sooner: This could be canon, if you want it to be :) But that will change not too long from now..

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you'll leave me a review..