"It's just Anna." Her words are ringing in my ears as I pack up at the end of the day. She said that her friends just call her Anna. She basically said I'm her friend. I barely know her. We can't be friends. Not yet anyway. I must have imagined it.
Nope. She's standing outside the theater, waiting for me. "Ready?" Anna Arend- No, just Anna asks. I nod.
Five minutes later there's an awkward silence in the car. Until of course I realize that I have no idea where she lives. One of the few things people don't know about Anna Ar- nope. Not gonna do it.
"So, where's your house?" I ask, trying not to be creepy.
"Uh," Anna pauses.
Yes! I didn't say her last name! Victory!
"Turn left here." She says, pointing. I oblige, turning onto a dirt road. We drive up a hill, going up higher and higher until we reach what might have at one point been a campsite for like, one tent.
It's a clearing overlooking the town, which is lit up. It's a clear night, so you can see everything. However, there isn't a house nearby.
Anna hops out of the car and lays down on the ground on her back, staring up at the sky. I get out slower, and stand over her, glaring.
"This isn't where you live."
She doesn't answer at first. She just pats the ground next to her.
So I sit. Anna sits up and wraps her arms around her knees as she brings her legs up to her chest.
"No. It's not." Anna finally says. Had she said it any quieter she would have been whispering. "But I wanted to show you this." She gestures out to the neon town. "I like to come up here and think."
This is her special place. And she's sharing it with me. I feel like I'm violating her privacy or something. "Um, I'll go wait in the truck." I talk loudly as I start to stand up. "You just-"
"No. Stay." So, I sit back down. Something she said the first day I picked her up is bothering me.
"The first day I picked you up, you said something about me being a 'broken river.' What even is that? I'm obviously not a river, I'm not broken, and a river can't be broken. So what is up with that?"
Anna shakes her head. "I don't think you're ready for that."
"Try me."
"I could be wrong, you know. It depends on what happened to make your favorite color green. Among other things that happened in your past."
The way she says it makes it clear that she doesn't expect me to continue with the subject. Bringing up my the reason's personal is clever though, I'll admit. But I'm not going to let my discomfort keep me from my answers.
"I was eight." I start. Anna's head whips around, shock written all over her face. "I lived on the other side of the country, in a small town like this one, in the middle of a forest."
It feels so wonderful to let all these feelings out, and before I know it, I'm rambling just like Anna does and I can't stop. "I didn't have the greatest parents. Let's just say that all the cops knew my father by name. But anyway, I was always scared. Then one day… My mom hit me. I couldn't stand it anymore. I packed up a couple sets of clothes, my toothbrush, and a little stuffed reindeer I'd had since I was two. I took the money I had been saving up from my slim allowance for over a year and just walked out the door."
Anna doesn't say anything, so I keep going. "I caught a bus and went as far as my money would take me. Eventually I had to get off, and I started walking. I don't remember much of that, since I was starving, insanely thirsty, and exhausted. All I remember is finally collapsing on the sidewalk outside someone's house. I heard some lady shout, and I saw her running towards me. I remember the feeling of being picked up, and then I passed out. When I woke up, there was this old lady sitting by my bed. Well, it wasn't really my bed, but it became mine, cause I ended up staying with her. Her name's Bulda. She's basically my mom in everything but blood. While I was staying with her we found a stray puppy, and rescued it. Bulda insisted that he was mine, so I named him Sven, after my little stuffed reindeer that someone on the bus stole. Eventually, I got a job, and Sven and I moved out, but I still keep in touch, and visit frequently, because if I didn't, I'd find my lock picked and Bulda sitting in my apartment, petting Sven. That still happens sometimes. But so anyway, Bulda eventually moved into a nursing home, but she won't let anyone help her with anything, so it's kind of pointless. Sven still lives with me, but he's gotten huge."
I lift my hand off the ground to show Sven's height. "And my favorite color's green because it reminds me of the forest from the town where I was born. Does that help?"
Anna doesn't say a word. Her eyes are sparkling, like they've got little blue crystals in them. Wait, no. Those are tears.
"I didn't originally live here either." She whispers. "I lived in a really big house, more like a mansion really, because our parents were really rich. Elsa and I were really close when we were little. But then, our father got sued for something or other, and it made him lose almost all his money. We couldn't pay for the house anymore, so we sold it, and moved into a new house far away that we could actually afford. I was scared of all the new people and things. I just wanted to be with my sister. But Elsa was even more upset, and locked herself in her room. I only later found out that she was studying how to be the best lawyer in the world."
"Then," She wipes her eyes. "Mama and Papa went for a drive. It was snowing, and the roads were slippery. They didn't come back."
Her voice cracks. "If one good thing came out of them, you know, dying, it was that Elsa and I actually became friends again. That's actually the reason that Elsa bought Olaf. So we could have a companion. About three years later, I met this guy."
So that's where I come in. Well, that's what I thought. I was wrong.
But before I talk about what she said next, I should tell you one thing.
Anna Arendelle is not untouchable.
Most guys look at her and say, 'yeah, she's out of my league.' But there is one guy who obviously didn't say that. That's who Anna's talking about now.
"His name's Hans. He just showed up in my life. And he hasn't walked out since." She seems very reserved about him. Anna turns back to me.
"Are you sure you want to know what a broken river is?"
"Of course." I say quietly. She's going to explain. I'm very excited for some reason.
"I compare people's hearts to rivers. If your river is flowing normally, then your heart isn't going through anything weird. However, along your river, you'll pass other rivers, representing other people. If you… Fall in love with someone… and you let your emotions take over, then your river is flooding into their river. Two things can then happen. either they accept your flooding, and their river branches off partly into your river, or… The reject you. If they do that, you'll probably try not to feel your emotions, so you'll put up dams around your river. But if you keep the dams up too long, then they start to become who you are. They become a mask. And you become a broken river. It's up to someone else to come and break those walls down."
Anna lays back down on the ground. I contemplate all that she just said. She's right. I am a broken river. I've never trusted anyone besides Bulda and Sven. And Anna's responsible for breaking my dams down. But I didn't ask for her to do it, which means that she knows the signs, which means that she's seen more than one broken river. Her sister? Her parents? Her boyfriend?
Or could it be her? Could she have been a broken river at one point? Is she still one now?
I ask carefully, "What are you? Normal? Flooded? Walled in? Broken? None of the above?"
"No. All of the above." Anna sighs. I lay down next to her and close my eyes.
"The sky's awake." Anna whispers. I open my eyes. The stars are bright up here. You can see all the constellations, and even a shooting star as it goes by. When it does, Anna gasps. In the heat of the moment, she grabs my hand.
I stiffen. Anna feels it, and starts to pull away. I don't let her. I gently ease my fingers in between hers. I feel her hand relax.
She squeezes my hand. I squeeze back.
And so we sit, neither of us moving, just staring up at the stars. Not touching other than our hands.
Eventually, I turn my head towards Anna, to tell her that I should probably get her home.
She's asleep. I smile. Anna shifts, but she doesn't break our hands apart.
Neither do I.
